Bride of Ashes (Kingdom of Shadow and Ruin #1)

44. Reyla

44

REYLA

I felt torn. Merrick was amazing. He touched my heart in a way no one else ever had. I could love him. That certainty had sunk into my bones. Realizing this didn’t make me feel as if I was betraying Kinart.

I was sad for one reason only.

Whenever I thought of being with Merrick fully, something I knew I’d enjoy and look forward to each time, my mind spun with memories of what I’d done with Lore. How could I put that behind me and build only friendship with my husband’s bodyguard and best friend?

“I wish I could stay here with you longer,” Merrick finally said. We stood, and he rubbed my back. Even in this, he offered me comfort. Why couldn’t I make my heart cling to him alone? “I have to meet with my advisors again. But you should come to the dining room for dinner. Please.” He cupped my cheeks with his warm hands and urged me to look up at him. “My mother said you haven’t come to the dining room in the evening since you arrived here.”

“I prefer to have a tray delivered to my room.”

“I would never press you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

I winced. “I hear a but in your statement.”

“As queen, there will be times when you’ll have to do things you don’t enjoy.”

“Like dine with your mother.”

“And me.” His sweet smile rose, and the mischievous look in his eyes darkened to something that made heat lick through my veins all over again. “When you sit with me , I won’t allow her to slight you.”

I wasn’t sure how he’d keep her from being snide, though she’d probably take care in his presence. As for her ladies? I was perfecting my glare.

I was surprised she hadn’t stormed my suite and insisted I dine with them already. While I doubted she’d seek my company again, she must want to get in more digs. I could only avoid them for long.

“She hasn’t always been like this.” He appeared pensive. “She changed over the past few years. I don’t know why.”

Her meanness finally rose to the surface, perhaps, though I wouldn’t say that. Despite how she treated me, he loved her. I wouldn’t try to step between them. Which meant I could try. Again.

“I’ll be there,” I said and was rewarded with his smile and a kiss that didn’t last long enough.

He took the blades from me and reverently slid each into the sheaths at my waist, tossing my old ones to the side. “I’ll send new sheaths to your room, ones you can wear anywhere.”

“These are the ones the armory assigned to me at the fortress.” They’d served me well, and I wasn’t sure why I needed new ones.

“Some will complain about you wearing weapons.”

“Because it threatens you?”

He snorted. “While you’re a solid threat to my heart.” His rapid inhalation told me he might not have meant to say that, but the warmth flooding my veins told me I liked that he felt the same. “I trust you not to stab me.”

“Behave,” I poked his naked belly that flexed with muscles, “and your soft skin is perfectly safe from me.”

“I am soft. I hope that’s not a problem.”

Why say something like that? “Someone once told me that strength doesn’t only lie within the muscles and bones.”

“Someone.” His grin rose.

I stroked my fingertip across his chest, over his heart. “Your biggest strength lies within here.”

He kissed me much too quickly before lifting his head. “As for everyone else, no one is allowed to wear weapons around me other than my very well selected and tested guards.”

“What kind of test?”

“Magical ones. They can’t fake their way through them. Each person who serves us is completely loyal. They’ll die for us.”

A shadow scraped its way across my soul. “I don’t want anyone dying for me. ”

“Neither do I. As for new sheaths, if they look decorative, most will ignore them.”

Always smart and using sly manipulation. At least he wasn’t directing that at me.

Rising, he tugged on the tunic and pants he took from a cabinet mounted on a wall near the door. We parted outside, him striding toward his meeting with his guards in attendance, me standing in place, staring after him until he paused partway down the hall and glanced over his shoulder.

“Watching my ass, aren’t you?” he purred.

“It’s not that nice,” I barked out, trying not to laugh. My cheeks overheated, and I slapped my palms against them as if that would hide them from his view.

“You’re right. It’s not nice.” He smirked. “It’s perfect.” With a smile, he rounded a corner and disappeared from view.

I went to my suite and bathed, changing into a tunic and pants with my ladies’ assistance. They’d help me change into a formal gown before dinner. I settled on the sofa.

Faelith had taken Farris outside, and she’d return shortly. When she stepped inside the room, her cheeks bloomed pink, and Farris was panting as if he’d run for hours.

“Such a nice walk we had, now didn’t we, my fine fellow?” she asked, unclasping his leash from his collar.

Freed, he galloped over and leaped onto the sofa beside me, crawling into my lap for pats.

“One of the guards outside said the librarian, Valera Windhaven, sent a message,” Faelith said. “He asked me to deliver it when I entered. Lady Windhaven says she’s remembered, and if you’d like to stop into the library, she’ll tell you. She didn’t say what she meant, however.”

“I understand.” Something about the ring. The key as well? My curiosity lit, I slid Farris off my lap and stood. “I’ll go see her right now.”

Calista’s gaze traveled down my frame. “Would you like me to help you dress in a lovely gown?”

I took in my tunic and pants. “For a brief conversation with the librarian?” Excitement kept poking me, sharp and persistent. When Valera had started to tell me who Isodine wanted her to give the family ring to, she’d frozen like so many others had when I quizzed them about Evergorne secrets. The ring could be completely independent from all this, or it could be a clue that might unlock everything. “I can go like this.”

“Very well.” Calista stepped back.

“I don’t need anyone to go to the library with me,” I said in a breezy tone.

“One of us must. The king insists,” Calista said sternly. She nodded to Faelith and Moira. “I’ll attend to the queen, and you can remain here to tidy.”

They stepped back inside while I bit back my sigh.

As I strode to the fourth floor with Calista strutting behind me, my guards took the front and the rear. Surren led the group. It didn’t take long to reach the library, and I stepped inside, leaving all of them outside except Calista.

“You can remain here, by the door,” I told her, pointing. “I promise I’ll call out if I need you.”

Her lips thinned, but she nodded.

Leaving her, I walked toward Valera’s empty desk .

“My queen,” she called out from behind me, rushing over to join me. “What can I do for you today?”

“Faelith sent word that you wanted to see me?”

Color rose into her face. “It’s so sweet of you to come this quickly.”

Seeing Calista subtly shifting toward us out of the corner of my eye, I snagged Valera’s arm and urged her to the stairs and up them, calling out to Calista. “Remain downstairs.”

Calista huffed but was wise enough not to follow.

At the top of the stairs, I paused.

“I’m terribly sorry, my queen,” Valera said. “But I haven’t gathered more books for you—yet. Yet! But I’ll be happy to do so. More romances or would you like some mysteries? I have a few that are brilliantly written.”

“I don’t need any books yet.”

Air swirled around us, and I peered around, looking for an open window but not finding any. Shaking the odd feeling that came with it off, I faced her again. “You said you remembered.” I spoke softly, not eager to be overheard.

“Remembered what?” Valera blinked slowly.

“Who your mother told you to give the ring to.”

“Oh, the ring? Yes, of course.” She wasn’t making any effort to keep her voice down, but it probably didn’t matter. Her smile rose quickly, though it held a touch of sadness. Like before, she lifted the ring and the tiny key and strummed them along the chain, the whir echoing around us.

“The ring?”

A stronger breeze gusted around us. If only I could control the elements like Lore and Merrick, but I doubted adding lightning to the wind would make things better.

“I remembered last night.” Valera’s bright smile rose. “It was . . .” A frown replaced her smile, and her blurred gaze drifted away from mine. “Isn’t that silly? Now, I can’t remember. Oh, wait, yes. It was . . . It was . . .”

Wind burst across the loft area, hitting us hard.

Valera’s feet shifted on the carpet, and the heel of her right shoe gave way. With a gulp, she spiraled her arms and tilted backward, her body stuttering toward the stairs.

I snapped my hand out to grab her, but her weight carried her farther . . .

. . . With a sharp cry, she fell, tumbling down the sharp staircase to land hard on the wooden floor at the bottom.

“My goodness!” Calista rushed over, stopping beside Valera to gape down at her. “Lady Windhaven? Lady Windhaven!” As I took the stairs as fast I could to reach the bottom, Calista bent toward the librarian, gently rolling her onto her back.

Valera’s breathing jerked in and out, and she reached up toward Calista.

“Get a healer,” I barked, dropping to my knees beside Valera. “Now!”

Calista straightened. “Surren—”

“You go. Leave Surren here.” That wind . . . Why hadn’t I paid attention after what happened with the knife in the hall? Had someone sent it to knock me down the stairs but hurt this poor woman instead? The blades Merrick gave me must’ve protected me, but . . . “Surren, surround us immediately. Have one guard search the room. If someone’s here, detain them.” I’d question them myself.

“Yes, my queen.” He jerked his chin to one of my guards, who took the stairs two at a time to reach the top, gliding from view.

Power surged from Surren’s fingers, encasing us as Calista backed away, her distraught gaze on Valera.

“I’ll go for the healer immediately.” Calista spun and rushed from the library.

“I . . .” Valera’s face tightened. “I . . .”

“Hold still,” I said, gently rubbing her shoulder. “The healer will be here soon.” Get here now, please.

“I remember now.” Valera blinked slowly; her eyes milky, but her speech coherent. “Odd how I forgot when it’s very . . .” Her fingers rose, and she fumbled to undo the clasp to the chain around her neck. She tugged it down and held it out toward me. “You.” Her milky gaze met mine. “Mother told me to give it to you .”

“Me specifically?”

“To Reyla,” she said in a singsong voice. “Give it to Reyla.” Taking my hand, she laid the chain, the ring, and the tiny key on my palm, securing my fingers around them. “I cannot . . . imagine why I forgot when it is now . . . so clear.”

“How could she know about me?”

“Mother had . . .” Swallowing hard, she winced. “A touch of foretelling.”

The door to the library banged open, and Calista and the healer hurried into the room, running this way.

The healer stopped beside us, her wide-eyed gaze taking in Valera lying on the floor. “Please allow me to examine her, my queen.”

“We should go, my queen,” Calista said, tugging on my sleeve. “Let the healer help her.”

“Yes, yes, please.” Surren frowned at the staircase and the area on the loft above where Valera and I had spoken.

The other guard hurried down the stairs and spoke quietly with Surren.

“Nothing,” Surren growled. “I smell something suspicious here. Bad magic . . .” His eyes sought mine. “We must return you to your warded room as quickly as possible.”

“I want to stay here with Valera.” Rising to my feet, I tucked the chain inside my pants pocket.

“I’m taking her to my clinic,” the healer said, lifting the librarian from the floor with magic. “I’ll need to examine her first, of course, but you could . . . visit her tomorrow.” Her shoulders curled inward. “Not that I’d ever tell our queen what she must do.”

“Go,” Valera said, her hand straining out toward me. “Don’t . . . worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

I took her hand and squeezed it, stroking her forehead. “Are you sure?”

“Of course, my queen. I don’t wish to be a bother.”

“You’re not at all.”

Her smile rose, though it was clear she was in considerable pain. “You’re sweet, my queen. Sweetness empowers but beware of those who will try to use it against you.”

What an odd thing to say when she was injured. “Thank you.” I wasn’t sure how else to reply .

The healer took her from the library, and my guard escorted me back to my suite.

“You just missed her, my queen,” Moira said when I stepped into my sitting area.

“Missed who?”

“Queen Mother Erisandra. I told her you wouldn’t be gone long, but she refused to stay.”

That woman would never wait for anyone. I didn’t want to see her, so it hardly mattered. Dinner tonight would be soon enough.

I told my ladies to remain in the sitting room, stating I was going to lie down until dinner. Sitting on the bed with Farris flopped beside me, I tugged the ring and key from my pocket, laying them on my palm. The ring was pretty.

Foretelling, huh?

To think that Isodine, Valera’s mother, had somehow known I’d end up at Evergorne. Why insist on giving me the ring, however?

The key held my attention, and it didn’t take long to remove it from the chain. I slid off the bed and stuffed my hand beneath the mattress, tugging out Ember’s Shadow , then diving back to retrieve the small book with silver ravens on the cover.

It wasn’t there, not even when I lifted the mattress to look beneath it.

I stormed into the sitting area. “Did any of you see a small book?” I asked my ladies.

They all stared at me blankly.

“One of the romances?” Moira finally said.

“No. One with silver ravens on the cover. ”

“Ravens like the Evergorne crest?”

“Yes, that.”

Calista shook her head, frowning. “I don’t believe so.”

None of them had.

Where had it gone? I returned to my bedroom and searched for it but if the book was here, it was acting like Ember’s Shadow , only instead of hiding the contents, it was hiding itself.

Frustrated, I decided to look for it again later. I slid the key back onto the chain with the ring and tucked them underneath the mattress.

When I returned to the sitting area, I slumped on the sofa. Farris galloped over and hopped into my lap. I felt bad that I hadn’t done much with him over the past few days. Faelith kept him busy and took care of his needs, but he was my fluffy friend, and I wanted to show him how much I adored him.

“Let’s go play outside, shall we?” I asked him.

He caught the excitement in my voice and leaped off my lap, spinning around with his puffy tail spiraling.

“You need to change for dinner,” Calista said. “You can’t go outside now.”

A glance at the window showed the sun had started to set, but it wasn’t that late yet. “I won’t be long. I want to play and so does Farris.” I ruffled the fur on the top of his head, and he leaned into my side, his tongue lolling and his tail still on fire.

Her lips thinned. “Very well.”

“Why don’t you select the gown and jewelry I’ll wear to dinner?” I said, knowing how she’d react.

“Truly, my queen?” she gushed.

“You know what’s best, Calista. I trust you. ”

“My queen.” She hopped in place, almost as eagerly as Farris, clapping her hands. “I know just the right gown. And jewels! I’ll have you know that I spoke with the court jeweler, and they delivered more items to your suite this afternoon. A queen needs fine jewelry, don’t you agree?”

Maybe that was why Erisandra had visited. She’d wanted to snarl at me for daring to wear the court’s jewels.

“Thank you so much for thinking of that, Calista.”

“Shall I go with you, my queen, in case this fine fellow needs my assistance?” Faelith asked.

“Yes, please.”

Faelith’s eyebrows wiggled, and she sniffed Calista's way, her lips twitching with a hint of superiority.

The fates save me from competitive staff.

I left Calista beaming and fluttering around the suite, spouting ideas for tonight, Moira tidying the bedroom I’d left in disarray, and led Farris from the room and down the hall.

Faelith took us to a side garden, the warm sun dipping close to the horizon still casting a golden glow across the open grassy area. The sweet scent of flowers perfumed the air, and the gentle hum of insects buzzed around us. High beds of colorful flowers bloomed in front of the tall rows of hedges, leaving a large open area in the center. The hedges appeared thick enough to keep Farris from escaping.

“It’s quiet and safe for him here.” Faelith held a bag of nyxin toys. “I bring him to this garden most of the time. No need to bother others or put him in a position where he might cause offense.”

“Thank you for thinking of that. ”

She bobbed her head, and a smile twitched her lips upward before they smoothed. She patted her bun while I released Farris from his leash. He sat on the grass, looking up at us with excitement sparkling in his eyes.

I sat on an ornate, white-painted metal bench, patting the space beside me. “Sit with me, Faelith.”

Her hands twitched at her sides, and her cheeks reddened. “I shouldn't, my queen.”

“Please.” I kept my voice light. This was not a command.

“Alright.” She dipped in a curtsy. “My queen.” Joining me, she perched on the edge of the bench, her eyes darting nervously around as if she worried one of the guards would protest. They'd spread out to cover all sides of the garden and appeared more interested in what might try to slip through or over the hedges than in her. Other than Surren, who watched us intently.

She placed the bag between us, and I tugged out a ball, tossing it across the lawn. The nyxin sprinted after it, his lean legs moving swiftly as he chased it down. He snatched it up in his jaws and trotted back, dropping the ball at my feet.

“Aren't you a good boy,” I crooned, rubbing his ears. “Did you see that, Faelith? He brought it back for me to throw again.”

She preened. “I've been working with him, my queen. Our fine fellow is very clever. It's almost as if someone else has trained him in the past.”

“Someone could have.” I explained where I found him.

“No,” she cried, appalled. Tears shimmered in her eyes as she stared down at Farris. “How could anyone eat such an amazing creature? ”

“My thought exactly.”

“You were very brave to challenge them, my queen.”

“It was a tight situation for a moment. Lord Lorant helped.”

“I'm not surprised. He's also a fine fellow.”

That, he was.

I picked up the ball and tossed it again, and Farris repeated the game, his tongue flopping around and his tail spiking up over his back.

“Have you been with Evergorne Court for long?” I asked as we watched Farris race around the perimeter of the garden with the ball in his mouth, to the amusement of the guards.

“Since birth, my queen,” she replied. “As all of us have been.”

“Surely not all of you.”

She gave me a puzzled look. “Why not?”

“Because people move. Change jobs. Marry and decide to live in another location.”

“We'd never, my queen.” She sounded scandalized by the very thought. “Evergorne is in our blood and none of us would consider living anywhere else.”

“Why not?”

“Because . . .” She shook her head and smiled as Farris frolicked around us, the ball in his mouth.

“Because . . .” I lifted my eyebrows her way.

“I don’t . . .” She frowned. “I’m not sure what we’re talking about, my queen. I’m sorry, but I’ve forgotten.”

Odd, but alright.

“Do you like it here?” I asked, watching her face more than Farris .

“I adore Evergorne.” Her gaze met mine, and for a moment, her pale eyes appeared milky. Why? I need to find out. “None of us can leave.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re all bound by the curse.”