Bright Smile & London Eye (Walker Brothers #2)

22. Chapter Twenty-Two - Jackson

Jackson

"Aren’t you the one who taught us to never appear anywhere unannounced?" I ask Adam, trying to simmer down the anger burning in my veins. What a goddamn hypocrite. "Or to ask before taking something out of your host’s fridge?" I glance at the two beer bottles in his hand. "You’ve made it quite clear you’re not up for any brotherly love, so don’t come in here acting like you own the place—because for once, I’m the one with the paperwork."

"Listen, Jackson…" He hands me the open bottle of beer, but I shake my head. For one, I still feel a bit queasy from that goodbye dinner for Elena in the beginning of the week, and also I’m not having the second conversation with Adam having drunk any kind of alcohol, considering how the first one went.

With a sigh, Adam lowers the bottle and places it on the kitchen counter, returning the unopened one to the fridge.

"I came here to apologize," he admits and lifts the opened one. “Thought I’d rather do that in person.”

"Huh," I say, crossing my arms and leaning my hip against the kitchen counter.

"You were right," he continues, taking a sip before grimacing. "Yeah, still not a fan of Guinness."

The question of why he opened it in the first place hovers on my tongue, but I swallow it. We have more important things to hash out.

"This family is falling apart," he states, his voice breaking toward the end of the sentence, "and I didn’t see it."

His face contorts into a tight grin, and he nods toward my living room. I follow him but stay on my feet, even as he sits down, extending his legs and spreading his arms along the backrest.

"Lily is actually getting me to work less," he mentions, starting to peel off the label on his bottle. "Still feels weird as fuck."

I raise an eyebrow, surprised. "You mentioned it. Good on her. She deserves you making time for her."

I grab an open bottle of water from the side table near my couch, left over from my last sleepless, might-as-well-watch-a-movie night.

"She does," he nods, his eyes fixated on my TV but not really looking at it. "And frankly, so did you. Turns out having a bunch of free time has you confronting all kinds of things." He finally looks up, his eyes meeting mine, clouded with regret. "I was so fixated on bringing home money that it drowned out a lot. I’m very sorry it landed on your shoulders; that was never my intention."

I gulp past the emotions building in my throat and finally sit down opposite him. "It feels good to hear that," I tell him, my forehead wrinkling as my eyebrows crease. "Really fucking good."

"You weren’t there," he says softly, clearing his throat. "Back when our parents struggled to make ends meet before the company took off. It was…" His eyes drift into the distance. "I never wanted that for you, you know? The wondering why your dad wouldn’t eat dinner with you. The wondering why everyone else got new clothes while you had hand-me-downs and thrift store finds. Getting laughed at in school for having long hair because your parents couldn’t afford a haircut."

When he looks at me again, there’s a wet glimmer in his eyes. "And I set the wrong priorities."

"So it took Lily tearing into you after our last call to see that?" I ask, curiosity lacing my voice. Slowly, he nods.

"Great. That’s just great." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. I could go on about him never fucking listening to me. He didn’t trust me when it came to Rob, and apparently even for this, he needed someone else to point out I’m right, but for now, I’m just happy he finally got it. "Listen, Adam. What’s done is done. We got dealt a shitty hand, and we made the best of it."

I’m not quite ready to get up and comfort him, but seeing my brother so broken is breaking my heart. "And let’s see the positives. At least it was only us two. That’s still more than half of us who had a relatively regular childhood."

"Well, dead parents aside," Adam says softly before breaking into a low chuckle.

"Dead parents aside," I echo.

"You’re right. Thank you." He takes a deep breath. "Still, I'm sorry. You were so young when it happened and had to step up. All I could think was 'Thank God, home is handled,' I failed to consider how it affected you."

"To be fair, I could have communicated better," I admit softly, but he vehemently shakes his head.

"I couldn't have expected that. Hell, you were barely in your teens yourself, and I know I wasn't communicative in my teens. I should have seen it."

"As a nineteen year old?" I raise my eyebrow at him.

"Well, then maybe I should have been better at involving people with good communication skills," he says with a shrug and now it's my turn to shake my head.

"What's done is done. No need to ponder over 'what ifs.'"

"So, what can we do now?" Hope flashes across his face, but I shake my head, extinguishing it.

"They’re not kids anymore, Adam," I point out, watching him inhale sharply. "We can’t just call them up and order them to family dinner. Reed’s off somewhere in Scandinavia, if I remember correctly, Zoey isn’t answering her messages, and Tanner is doing God knows what God knows where. I have no idea at this point, I think he got into voice acting?"

A dry chuckle falls from my lips as a sting forms behind my eyes. "If I had any idea how to fix it, I’d have told you a long time ago. But I don’t have a fucking clue," I admit. "And it’s one of the reasons for my outbursts. So yeah, not an excuse, but an explanation. I’m sorry too." I nod, biting my lip as the sting in my eyes intensifies. "I know you did what you thought was right, but you can be a very frustrating man, Adam."

"Don’t I know it," he groans with a sigh.

Our eyes meet, and all at once, we both burst into laughter—not because anything’s particularly funny, but as a release for the tension that’s hung between us for years at this point. For the first time, it feels like we’ve both taken the first step towards chipping away at that wall.

"It is what it is," I finally state matter-of-factly and shrug. “We just have to make the best of it.”

"You getting back into therapy might be a start. Maybe it's time I think about that as well."

"Look at you, full of good ideas today," I say with an eyeroll, but my tone is light, snark making room for a bit of healthy sarcasm.

"I might have another one," Adam says, tapping his chin as he thinks. "Remember Luca and Millie?"

"How could I forget them?" I ask, rolling my eyes. Back at that charity football match Adam made us do, they were the talk of the event. Famous pop star meets a famous actor. They fall in love at first sight and the rest is history.

"Well, they’re getting married," Adam explains, and I look at him, confused. I’m not close to either of them, so what’s he getting at? "I have a point, I promise. Instead of a bachelor or bachelorette party, they are going to Amsterdam with their families and have invited Lily and me along."

"You?" I raise an eyebrow, confused.

“Well, as Lily’s plus one,” he admits sheepishly. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ll talk to them before setting anything in stone. But if they’re making a family thing out of it, maybe they’re okay with it if we do, too.”

"Do you think the others will come?" I hate to be that person but I’m skeptical.

"I think at least Zoey might," Adam says with a tight smile. "And that would be a step into the right direction. The other two, I’m not so sure. But at this point, I’ll take what I can get."

He gets up, bringing his empty beer bottle to the kitchen.

"I’ll be in London for a few more days," he says. "I’d love to meet up for coffee. I think we have a lot to talk through, if you’d like."

I study him, searching his face for any sign of deceit, but find none. I sigh. It’s too early to let my guard down already. I’ve dreamed of a conversation like this with him for years and now that it’s here, it seems almost too good to be true.

"Yeah," I say softly. "I think we do."

In an uncharacteristic move, Adam opens his arms for a hug, and without even realizing it, I step forward, letting him pull me into a brotherly embrace.

"You know, I got you a birthday cake once,” I admit softly. “For your twentieth and twenty-first. Chocolate. I was really proud of them. But then you didn’t come home on your birthdays. Or the next days. And that’s about how long I could keep Tanner away from it."

"I’m sorry," Adam mumbles.

"I should’ve tried again,” I point out, but he shakes his head.

"You’re good," he assures me. "You’ve been looking out for me in other ways. I just had to get my head out of my ass to see that.” He lets me go and takes a step back. “You look like hell," he adds with a chuckle. "Get some sleep tonight."

With that, he clasps my shoulder before he turns and walks out of my flat.

As nice as this visit was, I might have to ask for my spare key back. While this was a productive talk and all, I'd rather have one with some time for emotional preparation the next time.

But I’ll deal with that some other day.

For now, I sneak into my bedroom. Lexie’s kept the blinds open, and I see her silhouette wrapped in my covers, illuminated by the faint moonlight from outside.

It makes her look ethereal.

As quietly as possible, I make my way to the bathroom, quickly slipping out of my jeans, socks, and shirt, tossing them into a corner as I brush my teeth, glad to see she found one of my spare toothbrushes.

For a moment, I simply stand by my bed, watching the way her chest rises and falls with each breath. The way her wild red hair feathers across my pillow, her soft breath moving a few of her curls.

Leaning down, I press my lips to her forehead before climbing under the covers next to her, ever so slowly, careful not to wake her.

Who would have thought I’d have no reason to vent after Adam’s visit? Certainly not me.

But it gives me hope. Hope that, at least, he and I can start acting like a team again. And who knows? Maybe this family is salvageable, after all. I certainly hope so. But if not?

As soon as I lie down next to her, Lexi instinctively moves closer, then blinks one sleepy eye open.

"All good?"

"All good," I assure her, opening my arms so she can scoot closer.

"Good," she mumbles and nudges her face against my throat, her arm sneaking around my waist.

Before I know it, her breathing evens out again and she’s out like a light.

I follow right after her.

For once, I fall asleep filled with hope instead of dread. Because I’ve got everything I want in my arms and a glimmer of hope glowing inside me.