Broken (Satan’s Death Riders MC #2)

Chapter One

“Is it even mine?”

Those words echoed around Petal Hargreaves’ head one too many times this very day. She should be working on ideas for the new menu at the diner, but instead, those words. They had broken her heart, and if she was honest with herself, crushed her very soul.

She just wanted to stop thinking about that moment and focus on her work. It wasn’t like it mattered anymore. This was the one thing she had never told Rosalie. It was the one detail of her life she had kept secret, and she was now more pleased about it than ever before since she didn’t have to talk about it with Rosalie.

There was no baby. There was no future where she had to consider life as a single mother. No. She lost the baby when a drive-by shooter attempted to take out her best friend, Rosalie, along with her husband Colt.

The shooter had taken out Gabrielle, Rosalie’s mom, as well as putting bullets inside Petal—one in her stomach which terminated her pregnancy instantly, and then another in her shoulder.

This felt like a lifetime ago, but it had only been a few months back. Long enough for her to make a full recovery. Since then, she’d finally moved out of her parents’ home, which she was so thankful for. She loved her mom and dad, along with her brothers and sisters, but she needed space. Being twenty-one years old and still sharing a room with her sisters had been a nightmare.

Her parents loved one another, even after nearly twenty-five years of marriage. They were still completely besotted, couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and that resulted in a large family in a three-bedroom house with one bathroom. Not the nicest of experiences, and it certainly hadn’t helped when she needed the privacy.

Unlike her oldest brother who had left the moment he turned eighteen, and headed into the military, she stayed and helped. She took care of the little ones and paid rent, which at the time had been most of her wages. Attempting to save had been difficult. Her parents had a way of making her feel bad for them, so she gave them most of her money.

Not anymore. She was free.

She was living in Rosalie’s place, now alone, as her mother was gone. It held a lot of great memories for her. It was the one place she was actually seen. Not that she should complain. Her family was great especially compared to Rosalie’s. Up until the past year, she never knew that Rosalie’s dad was in fact her mother’s rapist. He’d been the president of one of the most feared MCs—Evil Fuckers MC—and they relished their name and reputation.

She never spoke to Daemon personally, but the man was evil, anyone could see it. He was dead, Gabrielle was dead. From what she knew, the Evil Fuckers MC was no more. After the drive-by shooting went wrong, killing Rosalie’s mother, Daemon had gone on a killing spree. In his own warped way, he did love her.

But it didn’t change all that happened.

At least something good did come out of Daemon’s meddling and conniving ways. Her best friend was now happily married. Colt and Rosalie were finally giving their marriage a fighting chance, and she was so happy for her friend.

Of course, it meant she spent a lot of time alone of late.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Rosalie asked.

At first Petal didn’t register what her friend had said, and frowned at her. “Huh?”

“You’re staring into space. I wondered what was going on in that mind of yours?”

Rosalie asked, tucking some of her raven hair behind her ear. Her friend was beautiful and fierce. A fighter. A survivor. They both were in their own way, only Petal didn’t quite feel like a fighter.

She currently felt like she was on her knees and the next punch or kick was heading her way. Of course, she didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say, and she wasn’t going to hurt her friend. Rosalie had been through more than enough pain to last a lifetime.

“I, uh, I don’t know. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night.”

She hadn’t slept in weeks.

It wasn’t like she had nightmares. No. Sleep was for those with a peaceful mind. She didn’t have one of those.

“You didn’t? Are you okay? Are you feeling sick?”

Rosalie reached out and Petal chuckled and pulled away.

“You do not have to go all Mother Hen on me. I’m fine.”

“I should stay over with you tonight. That will work. We’ll have a girls’ night. You and me.”

Petal smiled, and as much as she would love to be around her friend, she knew it wasn’t going to work.

“A rain check? I, uh, I’ve got some things I want to do, and I am just going to crash. Probably eat some ice cream and fall asleep with my favorite flavor, the double chocolate, and I will not complain about that.”

Rosalie frowned. “You have never turned down girls’ night before.”

Petal forced a smile. “I know, but you have also never been, you know, happily married, and let’s face it, Colt will turn up, and then I’ll feel bad for taking you away from him.”

Her friend shrugged. “He won’t mind. He could go to the clubhouse, be around his buddies. They’re already complaining that I am taking him away from the boys.”

She reached out and stroked Rosalie’s arm. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I am good, and you and Colt should have this time with each other. It was a crazy start at the beginning, but now it’s better. You know, for the two of you.”

There was a sweet smile on Rosalie’s lips. The kind that said she was in a memory where it was just her and Colt. She was so happy her friend found happiness. The last thing she wanted to do was destroy it or in any way put a damper on it.

This was why she would never tell Rosalie that while she’d been fighting with Colt and doing everything in her power to protect her mother, Petal had been falling in love with Dirty. From the moment she saw him, she knew he was there for a reason. She knew without any doubt he’d been put on her detail to keep her busy, to stop her from talking with her best friend. Dirty had succeeded, and while she knew she was just a job to him, she had fallen in love.

She did not want her best friend to know that he’d been the father of her child. Rosalie didn’t even know she’d been pregnant. There was a lot she kept from her friend, and would continue to do so. The truth was, the fact she’d fallen in love with that … biker, was already shame enough. She didn’t want to add to it with her friend knowing more.

Even worse, when she went to Dirty to tell him the good news, he’d not been happy. She’d been a virgin with Dirty, yet he questioned if he was the father. Just the memory of it felt like a blow to the gut, but she didn’t say anything. He didn’t believe he was the father, and she wasn’t going to fight him. She had every intention of raising her child alone. Then, she’d gone to that damn garage because Gabrielle wanted everything to be perfect for her daughter’s arrival.

That gunshot had changed everything. She nearly died.

Her baby, which had been nothing more than a little dot within her, was gone. Tears filled her eyes, because she felt a mixture of grief and relief. She didn’t know how or if she could raise a child alone. Then the guilt hit at even feeling a smidge relieved.

At the sound of the diner’s door opening, she turned to see several of the Satan’s Death Riders MC, including Dirty himself.

She picked up the menu and made her way into the kitchen where Burto held up a fish slice, inspecting it, before using it to flip the burgers on the grill.

“You know, this Al guy was a genius,” he said.

Petal looked over toward him. “Those are two words I never thought I would hear in a sentence about Al.”

“Truly?”

“Yeah, truly.”

She was not about to tell Burto that Al was very much dead as he was the one responsible for allowing her best friend to be beaten up. He’d decided to side with the Evil Fuckers MC, rather than with Colt and the Satan’s Death Riders MC. Either way, it ended with Al dead and the diner now belonging to her and Rosalie. Petal never thought about owning this place, but now that she did, she wanted to make it an even bigger success.

Al hadn’t been a genius. All he did was serve good food. Thankfully, all those recipes were in a special book she and Rosalie discovered while cleaning out his office. They also discovered that their previous boss had made a fortune through the years of running the diner.

Thankfully, with the help of Rosalie’s new family, they were able to make the place their own. They no longer had to worry about a handsy kind of boss. They were free.

Putting the menu down on the clean counter far away from the food, she continued to write the week’s menu. They decided to keep things fresh and exciting week by week. Not only would they have a few favorites from the previous week, they’d mix it up with some new ideas.

She had gotten to Saturday when the kitchen door opened. Petal didn’t even need to turn to know who had entered.

“You’re not allowed back here while he’s cooking,”

Petal said.

“I want to talk to you,”

Dirty said.

“It’s good to want things.”

She refused to even look at him. “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.”

She finished the menu and made her escape, by heading back the way she’d entered and going straight out the front door. Placing the menu on the ground, she used a few weights to keep it in place.

Christmas had already come and gone, and they were heading into spring, but she knew the winds could get a little fierce. Al refused to weight down his sign and would often send her and Roslie to fetch it. It took her a few attempts to realize he was doing it to see the wind lift their skirts. From that day onward, she always wore a tiny pair of shorts beneath her skirts. It saved her the embarrassment of the wind.

She hoped Dirty would take the hint, but alas, no. He followed her outside, and she was not interested in talking with him.

“How are you?” he asked.

She was polite to him in front of Burto, but now that they were alone, she was not going to give him the time of day. With the sign weighted down, she stood up, and without looking in his direction, she made her way toward the main door.

Dirty stepped right in front of her path.

With hands on hips, she looked at him and waited. Actually, she set her eyes on the collar of his jacket, which was a lot easier. She didn’t want to be one of those women that caused a scene or embarrassed herself over a man.

The truth was, she just wanted to get over him. At this point, it had been a few months since they had been together, and he’d crushed her heart.

“You’re in my way,” she said.

“Damn it, Petal, come on. I’m here and I’m trying to help. Trying to see if you’re okay.”

“Why?”

Petal asked, finally lifting her head. “Because you know at the end of the day, you don’t have to care? Let’s face it, the baby is gone, and you’re completely in the clear, right?”

“That’s not—”

“What? The truth? Remember, you asked me if it was even yours, and if I recall, you said you didn’t ‘sign up for this.’ The only reason you and I ever had anything was because Colt asked you to, otherwise you and me wouldn’t have happened.”

He gripped the back of his neck.

This time, she forced herself to look at him. This man broke her heart, shattered her whole world, and she refused to allow it to happen again. She learned her lesson and had the scars to prove it, along with the pain. She didn’t know what had hurt worse—the fact he’d even suggested she cheated, or that he’d only been with her because his buddy Colt asked him to. He certainly fooled her.

“Fuck, Petal, it wasn’t like that.”

“Stop, okay? Stop with all the bullshit. I don’t need it. Colt got what he wanted. You got what you wanted. There are no consequences, so we’re done. Stop acting like we’re anything more.”

She moved around him, and he didn’t reach for her.

Petal was relieved as she stepped into the diner. They were only serving breakfast, and there were so many customers. Her hands shook, and she held a finger up to Rosalie who beckoned her to help.

She quickly rushed toward the back where her locker was, and she grabbed an apron. Wrapping it around her waist, she reached out to the wall, took a large breath, then another. Tears were so close to the surface, they threatened to spill over. She needed to get her shit together. This is not what she wanted. She was not going to be at the mercy of a man who treated her the way Dirty did. She was better than this.

He would not see her tears.

He didn’t deserve her tears.

Dirty didn’t deserve any more from her than he had already gotten. She was not going to be lured to him again. For her own peace of mind, she had to keep as far away from him and the MC as possible.

She would be there for Roslie, but that was it.

****

Dirty didn’t stop her.

He knew when it came to Petal, he fucked up big time. Colt asked him to distract her, even if it meant fucking her, which he did. The only problem was, he’d not done it on Colt’s orders. He wanted to. There was something about the fiery woman that made him unable to get her out of his mind.

She was a force to be reckoned with. Her devotion to her friend reminded him of how he was with the club brothers. They were solid together. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, the guys had his back.

Petal had Rosalie’s back, just as Rosalie had Petal’s back. Their little duet was like the club. He also knew Petal’s devotion to her family. She was loyal to them, even though they didn’t fucking deserve it. Her parents were super in love, so much in love that they forgot the responsibilities of raising their family.

Petal was often forgotten. She used a lot of her money to help her parents. He was all for helping family out, but there came a time when they had to walk their own path, as far as he was concerned. Her family had already taken too much from her.

“What are you doing hanging out here?”

Dirty looked up to see Skull and Rooster heading toward him. They had just turned up on their bikes, but he’d been too distracted by all the shit with Petal to even notice them.

“Taking some fresh air, why the fuck do you care?”

Skull and Rooster burst out laughing, but he wasn’t interested in hearing any more of their shit. What he needed was a stiff drink. Instead, he was going to get coffee, and a constant reminder of how much he fucked up.

When Petal told him she thought she might be pregnant, he’d panicked. He’d been her first. It had come as a fucking surprise to him as well. In all his life he never caused any of the women he’d been with any kind of pain. Petal had been a first for him. Even now, sitting at the diner, he was transported back to that night on the cruise. He and Petal had spent the whole day together.

It hadn’t been an arduous task either, spending time with her. The more time he spent with her, the more he liked her. She wasn’t clingy or needy, nor did she hang off him and beg for his cock. The cruise made him realize he had spent way too much time around the club pussy. He was more used to women offering themselves to him. He loved the free pussy. Loved that with a snap of his fingers he could have any woman he wanted.

Petal wasn’t like that. She genuinely laughed at his jokes, and leaned her head against him. There was no come-on. Nothing. She was a breath of fresh air and he’d not even realized he was drowning in his life.

Petal wasn’t just any woman. She had been different from the start. He should have known she was a virgin, but it had still come as a shock to him to discover the truth. Now there was no turning back.

Dirty had every intention of keeping his distance. Only, one taste hadn’t been enough. Nor had a second or third. Before he knew what was happening, he’d been loving sneaking around, being with her, wanting her. Knowing he could have the best of both worlds. Only for it to come crashing down around him when she told him she was pregnant.

Then, he fucked up. He opened his big mouth and broke her heart.

Even as he asked her if the child was his, he knew it was. Petal was no liar and certainly no cheater. The pain in her eyes, fuck, that would stay with him forever. He hurt her more asking if he was the father than when he first penetrated her.

Petal had shaken her head, tears glistening in her eyes. Rather than argue with him, she’d turned away from him and walked away. She stopped taking his calls, didn’t respond to his texts.

Then, he’d heard the gunshots, saw her on the ground. Two bullets. He’d known in that moment that if they were not the luckiest people, she was going to lose the baby, and she did.

Since she had gotten out of the hospital, she refused to see him. She didn’t acknowledge he existed. Nothing he did got her attention. Even now, while Rosalie served their table, constantly being grabbed by Colt, Petal was serving other customers.

They had gotten the diner back up and running, and from what he heard, it was finally turning over a profit again. When there had been a vote at club church to give Rosalie and Petal full access to the diner, and funds to make it work, he’d been dubious. Both women had been waitresses for a few years, but he didn’t know if they were capable of running the show. He was wrong. With Burto as chef, and the girls knowing what customers liked, the place was thriving, even at breakfast. He knew the girls had also offered Burto his chance to add to the menu as well.

There was also a vote each week by the regular customers of what they would like to see on the menu for the following week. So far, Burto’s meals were good, but they hadn’t wowed the customers. It didn’t seem to bother the cook, not that Burto would make waves. He was solid with the club.

Petal worked her way around the diner, keeping a safe distance from all of them. He watched as she moved. The uniform she wore was getting too big on her. There was a time it had been a little too tight. Even when she and Rosalie changed uniforms, it had fit Petal like a second skin. It didn’t matter what she wore, she was always going to be stunning to him.

He didn’t like the weight loss. That meant she wasn’t eating. He didn’t have to worry about who was taking care of her when Rosalie lived with her, but now she was with Colt. They were giving their marriage a try, and Petal had no one. Her parents were freaking useless. She had been taking care of herself long before now.

He watched her, feeling that anger start to build. He knew this was all his fault.

Rosalie placed a stack of pancakes in front of him, filling up his coffee. She didn’t say a word to him, just moved around the table. She didn’t know what he’d done.

Petal finally had a secret. He was that freaking secret.

“Dude, these pancakes are the bomb,”

Myth said, taking a bite. He closed his eyes, looking like heaven had just entered his mouth.

Dirty wasn’t interested in food.

“You know, you keep staring at her, you might be able to control her with your mind.”

He turned to Myth with a glare. “Shut the fuck up.”

“As I recall, Kim did advise that you leave her alone.”

Taking a deep breath, he stared at Myth and waited, trying to calm his nerves, but he was close to blowing. He wanted to hurt the man in front of him. Kim had told him to keep his distance, but Colt asked him for a favor.

He respected Kim. She was the president’s old lady. She commanded the respect of the whole club, but that was it. Colt was club, and he was loyal to him.

The whole situation was fucked up, but in his head, he figured Colt took a higher ranking than Kim. Speaking of which, Kim entered the diner, along with Warden, and a few other guys. He watched as she went straight to Rosalie, pulling her into a hug.

“You look stunning,” Kim said.

Rosalie went bright red. “Stop.”

“I’m not kidding. Will I get to hear some good news soon?”

Kim wanted to be a grandmother, so much so, she was not shy in asking everyone to have kids.

“Mom, come on, enough with all the kid talk, okay?”

Colt asked. He moved behind Rosalie and draped his arm across her shoulders.

Kim held her hands up. “Don’t blame a mother for trying. I know you’re going to make fantastic parents.”

Rosalie went bright red and Dirty couldn’t help but look over at Petal. The other woman was at the counter, and he watched her rub at her temples. She looked so alone. Her place was with them, not out in the cold.

“Petal, you gorgeous woman, come here and give me a hug,” Kim said.

He watched as Petal turned and he saw the first genuine smile on her face. She didn’t even hesitate in giving Kim a hug. Dirty never felt jealous. He had nothing to feel jealous about, but as he watched the two women, he couldn’t help but feel that tiny spark. Kim was able to go and give her a hug. Kim wasn’t privy to what a dick he’d been. None of the brothers knew. This was his and Petal’s little secret.

No one knew that he snuck out, met Petal at a private hotel so they could fuck all night long. He’d not been with another woman in months. It was strange to even think of it like that, but it was the truth.

Damn it. This woman had fucked with his head. He needed to find a woman and just fuck her right out of him.

“We’re having a party Friday night, and you’ve got to come,”

Kim said, giving him no choice but to zone in again and listen to whatever the fuck they were planning.

“Friday night?”

“Yes, come on, we’ve got lots to celebrate, and I am tired of being the only one to feel this … happy.”

The smile on Kim’s face was cute.

Yes, they did have a lot to celebrate. Daemon was dead. That son of a bitch was responsible for killing Kim and Warden’s only daughter, Hannah. The Evil Fuckers MC was gone. He doubted they were gone forever, but for now, they were nowhere to be found, so as far as everyone was concerned, they were all dead.

They’d purchased the very land their enemy club had lived on and were currently in the process of tearing the buildings down. There wasn’t a plan for what to build on it. For now they were working on demolishing the whole thing.

First, they were going through every nook and cranny to find all the Evil Fuckers MC secrets. Once that was done, that clubhouse would be no more, and he couldn’t fucking wait. A lot of shit had gone down.

“I, uh, I have plans for this Friday.”

Kim pouted and then turned to look at Warden, who gave her a roll of his eyes. “I hate to break it to you, Sweetheart, but my wife gets what she wants. Tell me what it is you need and I’ll make sure it happens.”

Dirty looked at her and wondered what was keeping her from the party. Was it him? Her family? He knew her family was demanding. They took and took, without giving back.

Petal licked her lips, and he couldn’t help but go back to when he had her on her knees and taught her exactly how to suck his cock, to slide his long thick length between those sexy lips and take more of him into her mouth. He wanted to feel her right now.

His cock hardened. There was so much he still wanted to do to her.

“I think I might be pregnant.”

They had a good thing going, and then she had to spoil it all with those fucking words. He’d been horny as fuck, and that soon changed when he realized he was going to be a father. Being the asshole he was, he didn’t relish the idea of being a dad. He fought against it, and now there was no baby, and he didn’t have his woman either.

“You know what, don’t worry about it. I’ll come,”

she said, offering that sweet smile.

This was one of the things he both hated and loved about Petal. Did no one see that she didn’t have the ability to say no? When someone needed something from her, she was always the first one there to offer help. She always had others’ backs. She was always the one willing to give everything up.

Instead of leaving town to find her own way, she stuck around for Rosalie. Petal could have been long gone and loving the free life. Instead, she was stuck, and no one else saw that. He did. He wanted to set her free. For that smile to no longer be trapped in the same place. She deserved that.

But then, he also hadn’t helped in setting her free. He’d known she wasn’t on the pill, and her getting pregnant was only going to happen because he loved not wearing condoms with her. He knew it made him the biggest dick going, but Petal had been different. She was the only virgin he’d been with.

Dirty always wore a condom. He didn’t trust the women that came to the club. Most of them were after an easy time, and if they could trap a brother with pregnancy, half of them would do it without batting an eye. Those were the kind of women he dealt with.

There had been a situation in the club a few years ago when one of the women were caught trying to use the semen inside a used condom. Dirty had been disgusted. He wasn’t the brother she was trying to trap, but there had been consequences for her actions—severe consequences—and he didn’t even give a shit she’d been female. In their world, the men and women had to learn that their enemies used whatever means possible, whether it was a woman or a man, or even a child. They all had to be careful.

Petal wasn’t like that. She was a good one. And he’d let her slip through his fingers by being an asshole. He didn’t even hide that he was watching her. Kim was still talking with her, and the smile on Petal’s face was real.

There was a time not too long ago when she would have smiled for him. Those smiles had only been reserved for him. Now, he got nothing. She barely even looked at him.