Broken Souls (Book of Shadows)

Four

Four

HER

When I wake, I am alone. There’s a glass of water on the bedside table though, alongside a chocolate bar and a note. My engagement ring sits on it. A slow smile curls my lips as I roll onto my back and stretch out my entire body. I feel like a cat lazing in the sun.

When Varius Shadow purchased me four months ago, I never thought I’d fall in love with the neanderthal. All the stories around his name painted him as a ruthless monster, and although I do not doubt that claim, having seen him not hesitate to torture his own family, I’ve also seen a different side to him. The one who is fiercely loyal to those who give him their loyalty. The one who will protect what’s his with the merciless cut of his knife.

Stroking my fingers through my lower curls, I trace the tattoo hidden there.

Property of Varius Shadow

My chest squeezes, and though I would be the first one to reject the idea that women are property, with him, the ink feels stronger than any wedding vow. More permanent. He gave me an engagement ring because he had to in order to legitimize his heirs. He inked me because he wanted to.

My pussy kegels in memory of last night, of how he had to own me to sate his jealousy. But as fun and as hot as that was, I won’t ever tease him like that again.

There was a flash of uncertainty in his eyes. Too many people have pretended to love him only to try to kill him. To a paranoid man like Varius, giving him any reason to doubt me could be a death sentence. Perhaps even more so now that we have started the blood bond.

“It’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with a dangerous man.”

“If you break his heart, Micha, he’ll kill you for it.”

My best friend’s warnings come back to me, and I heed them. All of Varius’ past experiences, all his harshly taught paranoia won’t just disappear because I’ve told him I love him.

But he is worth the time and effort it’ll take me to break through his thick-ass, barb-wired, booby-trapped walls.

I’ll probably need multiple lifetimes to accomplish that anyways.

Turning over onto my side, I face the wooden bedside table and reach for the chocolate bar. I peel it, eat it, then sit up to drink the water. Feeling loved, I slip on my ring, then pick up the note.

My smile falters when I read it though.

Be discreet when you go back to your room. Don’t mention the bond to anyone.

My chest hurts as I stare at the black scrawl. He isn’t rejecting me in the morning light, isn’t trying to hide me from his family like I’m some great sin. He simply doesn’t trust them to know that I’m a weakness. Doesn’t trust that they won’t hurt me to get to him if they knew they could.

Last night, I told him someone is trying to blackmail me into stealing the Family ledger – the book of records that can put every single Shadow Domain member away for life. Although I haven’t yet told him about my suspicions that the culprit is either one of his seven brothers or his mother, Varius has recently been burned by someone close to him. Now he trusts no one.

Hating that he doesn’t have sanctuary even in his own home, I burn the note with my magic, then stand to collect my clothes. I need to figure out who this blackmailer is so he doesn’t have to. So I can stop them before they hurt him to the point of no return.

After getting dressed, I slip out his bedroom window. He is on the second floor, but I know how to roll the landing so it doesn’t hurt. Sneaking around to my room, I ease up the window and climb inside. I shower and change into a fresh dress, then head out of my room to make breakfast before the sun has properly risen.

I stop in the archway of the kitchen, my eyes snapping to the wooden counter splitting the room. Magic hums from it, and I recall coming home last night to a commotion in here. I didn’t stop to see what it was, having been away for a few days and only wanting to go upstairs to see Varius.

He surprised me with his desire to claim me as a mate, and I knew then something bad had happened, something serious enough to have triggered a drastic reaction in him. Death has a way of causing such things… I wonder which brother made him fear dying with regrets.

Please don’t be Rudy, I think instinctively, liking him the best. No one who takes the time to help ducklings cross the road deserves to die.

Feeling a presence behind me, I turn to see Maddox, the youngest Shadow at twenty-two, enter the vast living room, which is connected to the kitchen through the archway I’m standing in. He doesn’t look like he’s lost a brother, and the tension in my shoulders eases a little. Whatever happened last night might have been serious, but it wasn’t lethal.

Maddox looks me up and down, then flashes a cocky grin. “Well, you look like you’ve been properly fucked,” he says.

My neck heats, the marks Varius left on it burning hot. The ones on my thighs and breasts tingle to awareness too, but I tell myself he can’t see those.

“I’m surprised you would know what that looks like on a woman,” I say. My eyes widen as my brain suddenly catches up with my mouth.

He laughs. Then winks. “Only because I have them rail me in front of mirrors.”

My mouth drops open as my blush shoots all the way up my cheeks and to my ears. Maddox is a shapeshifter, able to take the form of another – male or female.

“Are you saying you…” The rest of my words turn into a strained noise. Deciding I don’t want confirmation, I blurt, “What happened last night?”

His smile evaporates as his eyes shift to the long wooden counter humming with magic. “Talon nearly died.”

“How?”

“We tried to kill Antonio.”

“We being you and Talon?”

He snorts. “All eight of us.”

My mouth hits the godsdamn floor. “And you lost? With Khalid there?”

He’s the Family reaper, a badass motherfucker who hunts down those who turn traitor. Meaning he’s the best of the best. His soul magic is utterly terrifying. With it, he’s able to kill from anywhere in the world as long as he has their DNA.

With all of the Shadow brothers attacking Antonio, that should’ve given Maddox enough time to study his molecular makeup so he could shapeshift into the werewolf alpha and then give Khalid a part of ‘him’ to use in his soul magic. The fact that the Boss of the Death Hunt isn’t dead? Means he had an ace up his sleeve that no one knew about. Which begs the question, what other surprises does he have?

“Khalid got distracted.”

“Khalid?” I stress, shaking my head. “Mister Won’t Even Glance at a Supermodel’s Boobs got distracted?” I have legit seen that happen. One of the capos brought his mistress to dinner a couple months ago. She was absolutely gorgeous, so much so that even I looked when her dress accidentally slipped when she reached down to grab a dropped napkin.

Unfortunately, that ended up killing her as Varius caught me looking. Which was a shame; she had great boobs before he cut them off and then slit her throat.

But Khalid didn’t even glance over with a quick side eye, not when she bent down nor when Varius killed her. He just kept eating his steak. His focus is insane.

“By what?” I ask incredulously.

Maddox sighs. “You want to cook while I talk?” he says as he glances behind me. “I’m fucking starving. Been out all night babysitting the fucker.”

I blink.

Blink again.

Then I turn and head into the kitchen while he follows me.

“Is Sau okay?” I ask as I start pulling out what’s needed to make egg and bacon sandwiches for the entire household. Normally, their mom is up before me – the role of a female Shadow being one of servitude. But Sau is the only true healer in this family. If Talon was that fucked up, she would have ignored her curse, which requires her to sacrifice time off her life in order to use her magic, and healed him.

“Yeah. Ma’s fine. She’s just exhausted after saving T’s ass.” He settles on the counter, seemingly indifferent to the black magic electrifying the air around it. Me? I keep my distance from it, using the other side of the kitchen to do my prep work.

“Counter’s fine,” he says with a grin. “It ate enough blood last night to keep it sated for months.”

I look at it warily. I want to ask him what the fuck that means. Sau hasn’t explained why it hums with so much dark magic – a family secret I’m not trusted with yet, but I don’t want to get distracted from what happened last night. Varius might have instigated the blood bond, but that does not mean he’s going to treat me like a partner in the Family business. A woman in the Shadow Domain is nothing more than a breedmare; she doesn’t need to know anything other than when her husband wants her on her back. Perhaps one day I can change that, but it will be two thousand years of tradition I’ll be fighting – as well as Varius’ paranoia about a coup.

He’s survived too many to not instantly see my innocent attempts at becoming his equal as a veiled threat.

Hurting for all the shit he has been through, for all the paranoia that has been forced on him since he was a kid, when that first knife went into his back, I pull out the stuff needed to make waffles. They’re his comfort food. And they are quickly becoming mine too.

“So why were you babysitting Khalid?” I ask as I crack open the eggs and separate the whites from the yolks. “He get hurt too?”

I look up to see Maddox shake his head. In another bowl, I start mixing the egg yolks, milk, butter, and vanilla extract into a batter.

“Nah. Turns out the dumbass bonded to a fucking WALL member, and he’s been chasing her all night. Varius wanted me to stick with him so he didn’t do anything stupid.”

I stare at him dumbly, my mind incapable of computing any part of that. The WALL are humans who hate sups so much that they vivisect us and call it God’s work. I know Khalid has been obsessing over some girl for the past three months, but a WALL member?

“Let me guess, she knows how to kill a werewolf with a toothpick?” I finally manage.

He laughs.

“Wait a sec,” I cut in just as he starts to say something. “Varius asked you to keep Khalid in line. You?”

“Hey!”

“You have a six-inch-tall sex fiend as a pet in your room. You keep her in a fish tank, and she humps her tower. You cannot possibly argue you were the best pick for the job.”

He starts to try, then he grins. “Yeah, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“And did you?”

He cocks his head. “Did I what?”

“Stop him from doing anything stupid?”

“Depends on your definition of stupid.”

“Will Varius be happy about it?”

“The guy’s never happy.”

I open my mouth to tell him that’s not true, but then I shake my head. If someone knows what makes you happy, they’ll know what will break you. And Maddox specializes in torture for the Family. Varius wouldn’t be happy with me sharing anything about him at all.

“Have you never seen him happy?” I ask softly, my heart hurting over just how distant he has to be with everyone.

“I haven’t, no. By the time I was born, he was how he is now. But the others say he used to laugh a lot. He used to read them bedtime stories and show them bugs he found.”

“Did he have a favorite bug?” Maybe I can get him a pet for his birthday. When is his birthday?

“You’ll have to ask Leno. Or Talon. They know him best.”

“Not Khalid?”

“Obviously Khalid, but he ain’t gonna share shit.”

I laugh as I go back to making the waffles. Of course he wouldn’t. But I like that about him, that he has Varius’ back all the way.

“But I wouldn’t ask either of them,” Maddox says softly after a few minutes of silence. The batter has been mixed and is cooking in the waffle maker. I have a pan of omelets going and another sizzling with bacon.

“No?” I ask, not turning around as I focus on keeping everything from burning.

He shakes his head. “Varius doesn’t like snooping, and I would hate to see him become suspicious of you.”

My heart aching, I realize getting him a pet would be a bad idea anyway. Insect or dog or cat – it doesn’t matter. Pets are clear weaknesses. Hurt them, hurt Varius.

He would never let himself love it.

And with that realization comes another one.

Feeling cold, I flip over the bacon.

Varius has no real understanding of what love is. So how can he ever truly love me?