Broken Souls (Book of Shadows)

Twelve

Twelve

HER

I freeze at the growl of Varius’ words. There’s a darkness clinging to them beneath the heat. A danger lurking under the pleasure. Something has been heavily weighing on him these last two days. I thought it was caused by Aleric or him being scared of how fast this relationship was moving, but now?

The bruises on my neck suddenly feel different. They’re no longer a symbol of trust. They’re a warning of what’s to come.

Raising a hand to my throat, I swallow and feel the pain.

“Varius?” I ask softly, my nerves frying under adrenaline. I glance at the open window in my peripheral but keep my eyes on him. On the lion staring at the buck. “Please talk to me. What do you think I’ve done?”

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares, sending chills down my spine.

I try to think of what he could be suspecting me of. His paranoia has kept him alive all these years. It’s well honed and well trusted, and now it’s pointed directly at me. If I can’t soothe it, I know he will fucking kill me. He’ll see our love as nothing more than an attempt at manipulation, his experiences harsh and unforgiving. His first and only crush before me tried to kill him. He was just betrayed by a man he thought loved him like a son. By family he thought he could trust. I am but a stranger in comparison.

So when he still does not speak, as unnerving as that is, I take comfort in it. Because I’m not dead. He could’ve killed me at any point tonight, but he didn’t.

Which means he wants to talk. He wants me to fix this thing that’s broken. He just doesn’t trust me enough to tell me what the problem is.

But I have years of experience dealing with kids just like this. Those whose parents had hired me to kill them. But instead, I faked their deaths and gave them a new name. Sometimes, a new face. And I set up a bank account with half the fee I got for their ‘assassination’ deposited into it, accessible for when they hit eighteen.

“Is this about the blackmailer?” I ask. The whole business hasn’t settled right with me. Who half-asses a thing like that? “Because I was thinking that it’s a red herring. They don’t want the ledger at all.”

He doesn’t speak, but he also doesn’t tell me to shut up. So I continue, laying out my reasoning so he can pick it apart as he needs to. “One, they didn’t grab Dayne to use as collateral. They just sent a picture stolen from the guy you had tailing him for his protection. Two, they haven’t tried to threaten me into getting it since. The deadline passed, and nada, no further threats, no nothing even though I’ve acted like I don’t know Dayne’s alive and well and nowhere near them. Three, they haven’t responded to the pictures I took of the ledger. I have the product they want. Even if they know it’s a fake, they should have replied back to tell me to keep looking. And four, I can’t think of a single reason why anyone in your family would want it other than using the information inside it against you so they can leave this life and be left alone. But even still, they don’t need the ledger for that; they can just use what’s in their head.”

Taking a deep breath, I let it out. My skin tingles under the force of his silence. But I get it now. Why he’s pissed at me. Laying out all my ideas like that has led me to only one conclusion. “Their goal isn’t to take the ledger,” I say slowly. “It’s to set me up as their patsy.”

“Or you used the cover of a blackmailer to get my trust,” he counters. “Make me believe you are a victim, so I’d work with you rather than against you.”

“If I was doing that, I would’ve had Dayne go into hiding and applied more pressure on myself to really play it up. But I didn’t.”

The smallest show of doubt pulls at the corner of his lips.

“But what motive do you think I have for stealing it?”

“To sell it. Your accounts are low.”

I scoff. “Wow. Elitist, much.” I have millions of dollars spread across my accounts. Then I shake my head. “But that is another point in my favor. My closet here contains more money than what I made in a year as an assassin. If I was greedy, it’d make more sense to do everything I could to stay here. Like having sex all the time to baby trap you.”

His eyes narrow.

But that means his mask is starting to break. I’m on the right track of getting him to trust me again.

“I don’t have a reason to leave, Varius. They could offer me billions of dollars for the ledger, and I wouldn’t take it. I want to be here. With you. The only way anyone could get me to do anything to change that is by threatening Dayne or my sister Lou, but they are both safe.”

“Then why did you accept the job to steal the ledger?”

I blink. “I didn’t.”

“I had someone hack the site you use – Black Marks. Your username is the one who accepted the job.”

I shake my head. “Why the fuck would I agree to steal it for a price if I’m being blackmailed to give it up without payment?”

“Because as you said, they don’t have Dayne. They just planted a seed in your head, making you realize you might be able to steal the real thing.”

“Fuck, Varius. Do you think I would seriously be dumb enough to give you a head’s up, saying I would steal from you, even if I trusted the anonymity of that site, before I actually did it? Also, whoever put up the request for the ledger thinks they are dangerous or big enough or just plain fucking stupid enough to take on the Shadow Domain. I am not telling them I’ll get something. I’d get in touch after I already had it so they don’t have a reason to blackmail me.”

“Hindsight is a –”

“No, you’re being a bitch.” I snap my mouth shut as I realize what I just said. Fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t have let my anger get to me; all that’s going to do is get me killed. I take a breath, then try my best to keep my voice level. “I like your brothers and your mom, Varius. I don’t want to think any of them would use me as their patsy, but if I am right, just think about what that means.”

My eyes softening, my heart hurting for what he’s going through, I ask, “Can you think of anyone who might need a patsy for any reason?”

I hold my breath, half expecting him to say me.

But he doesn’t.

His eyes flashing with rage, he snarls, “Mother.”