Broken Souls (Book of Shadows)

Forty-Three

Forty-Three

HER

Varius rises as he spins to face the vampire. I push down my skirt as I stand behind him. If I had my magic, I’d be sorely tempted to set the fucker on fire.

“But I really need to take a piss,” Aleric says, leaning inside the archway of the kitchen as if the two of us aren’t ready to kill him. “Can you show me to the bathroom?”

“It’s through there, down the hall. First door on the left,” Varius says.

“Oh, but I get so easily lost. You wouldn’t want me to end up in Sau’s room. I’d be way too tempted to come all over her toothbrush. In her bottle of lotion. On the dildos –”

“It’s this way,” Varius snaps, stepping forward.

“Thank you,” Aleric purrs, his dark eyes dancing.

As they walk off, I don’t know if I should stay here and wait for him to return or run off to find Dayne so he can talk some sense into me. I’m not ready to forgive Varius for what he’s done to me, but fuck am I ready to fuck him.

When the front door opens, the decision is made for me. Khalid steps in, and knowing his girl will be right behind him, I hurry for the stairs.

It’s been absolute hel seeing her every day at the dinner table. I have managed to avoid having breakfast and lunch with her, mostly by not having an appetite, but by the time dinner comes around, I’m starving. The only saving grace is Varius only talks to her when she instigates.

Stepping into his bedroom, I shut the door behind me. I sag against it, taking a moment to breathe before striding further into the room and taking off my collar. I toss it on the bed before reaching around me to undo my corset. The lace is hard to pull through the grommets though, and in no time at all, I’m cursing the damn thing.

“Allow me,” Varius says, and I freeze, half twisted with my eyes straining to see my back. I never even heard him enter the room. The hairs on my neck rise over that, and the most primal part of my brain is screaming that I’m in an enclosed space with a predator that can kill me with one blow. Will I ever be able to trust him again?

“Turn around,” he says.

I hesitate for a second, but fighting in this dress will get me killed anyways. My eyes dart to the dresser where the wand is hidden while I turn around. Locking my knees, I force myself to stay still. I haven’t bonded with the wand yet, so attempting to use it has more risk of killing me than him.

The air feels weighted behind me. I can’t hear Varius moving at all, but every nerve starts firing. Every hair starts rising in anticipation of his touch.

With every second that passes, my body grows more and more taut until I can’t take it anymore. Surely, he must’ve crossed the room already to me? I start to turn, but two strong hands grab my shoulders and hold me still.

I tense, my muscles locking as I fight the reflex to stomp on his instep, then turn to elbow him in the kidney, followed by a punch to his solar plexus.

“You’re scared of me,” Varius says tightly, pain and guilt flowing through our bond.

“You tortured me,” I say. “That doesn’t normally make a girl trust you won’t hurt her. Next time, try chocolate and flowers.”

“So you do want chocolate –” he starts, confused.

“No!” My anger comes back now, the frustration that he still doesn’t get me. “Oh my gods. Just undo the lace so I can get out of this thing.”

As he starts to work on the back of my corset, I can feel his irritation with me, and that pisses me off more. I’m not being fucking unreasonable. Just because I was willing to fuck him a moment ago doesn’t mean I was ready to forgive him. It’s not my fault if he came up here expecting me to be all loving and serving and back to being what he was used to having just because I had a moment of weak horniness. People have hate sex all the fucking time. I’m allowed to have hate sex.

Dammit. He tortured me. He raped me. He’s forcing me to live with That Bitch. To see her every day, knowing she came from what he did to her. Did he suck on her large tits? Did he stroke himself inside her mouth? Kiss her? How long was their foreplay? Did he imagine me at all? Or was he glad to fuck someone who wasn’t so flat everywhere? Fuck. Khalid’s girl is so beautiful, and I’m just plain fucking Jane.

“I hate you.” The words flow out before I can stop them.

“I know.” He tugs on the lace, unthreading a section of it from my corset.

“I’m going to dedicate our entire marriage to making you miserable.”

A flash of amusement comes down the bond.

“Don’t laugh at me.” I start to turn, my eyes hard, but the corset is mostly undone, and the dress has sagged just enough to trip me. I stumble into him. The dress is yanked down by my feet, and now the top of it sits around my waist. The fabric of his jacket presses into my bare nipples, and I suck in a breath as arousal mixes with my anger.

I want to fuck him like I hate him.

I want him to fuck me like he did that night I killed him.

As excitement shoots through me, so does confusion. I didn’t like that at the time. But now I want it?

That doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Fucking blood bond!

“Stop messing with my head!” I shout as I shove him away from me. But my dress is still tangled around my feet, and all that does is make me fall backwards. My arms flail out, but he’s already caught me. I’m bent over backwards as if he’s dipped me after we’ve danced. His eyes are intense on mine. My heart is beating rapidly inside my chest. I can’t breathe even though the corset is now free.

My pussy kegels, and I hate it.

I hate him.

I hate the whiplash of emotions I’m having.

“Get off me,” I snap.

Or at least I try to, but the words never came out.

So I stay in his arms, staring up at him as he looks down at me. His gaze holds mine, then dips slowly down my neck to my naked breasts.

I suck in a breath.

His hand slides up my body, hovering half an inch off my skin, to settle over my breast. My nipples harden, so damn sensitive even though he isn’t touching me. But I didn’t come earlier, so it’s not taking much to push me back to that edge of ecstasy.

“Can I touch these, baby?” he says, his voice raspy and harsh. “Will you let me pinch this nipple while I suck the other one into my mouth?”

A small noise escapes me, and the arousal on his face is breaking through my resistance. He looks like he’ll spend all night worshiping me. His jaw clenches as he struggles with his control to wait for my answer, and my eyes immediately go there. Fucking hel, that should not be that hot.

He inhales. His eyes darken, and I am acutely aware that he can smell the changes in my arousal. Clenching my legs together, I try not to squirm.

“Micha,” he begs. “Let me touch you.”

I swallow hard, torn between two desires. On the one hand, I don’t want to give him any part of myself. On the other… fuck, do I want to come.

A sudden thought occurs to me that makes me tense.

I can just use him and discard him. Take what I want and leave the rest behind – all his bullshit, all his promises. I can reduce him to just his dick. Make him the breedmare.

“Okay?” I breathe.

“Was that a question?” Varius groans, his words so tight in their control.

“No?”

“Micha.” That word is the epitome of torture, but his hand still hovers above me, not moving the slightest way towards me.

I clench my teeth as every nerve in my nipple vibrates with the need to be touched. “Fucking touch me,” I demand.

His palm grazes my left nipple just his lips lower over my right. I arch into his mouth, but before I can fully feel the softness of his lips, he freezes. Some fucker has knocked on the door. I swear to the gods, if that’s Aleric –

“Varius,” Rudy knocks in Morse code.

Cursing, he straightens and turns. The lack of hesitation stings and mixes with my irritation at the interruption, so I twist in the opposite direction, making sure to pick up my skirt this time. As Varius strides towards the door, I grab the dress for the reception party, a white regal looking piece that hugs my body, which has been left out on the bed, and head for the ensuite.

I stop, though, as I pass the dark wooden dresser – a new one considering Varius broke the original when he threw it across the room a few days ago. The contents inside are still the same, however, so I yank open the top drawer, grab the stuff I want, then head into the ensuite.

I don’t need him for a release.

All I need is a toy. That’s all his dick is to me right now anyway.

Fucking asshole.