Fifty-One
Fifty-One
HER
I sit in the bath between his legs. He washed the blood off me, running the cloth along my body while I stood under the spray of the shower. Leno and Maddox are currently dealing with the portal situation, questioning Zara’s soldiers (the boys knocked them out instead of killing them) to try to see how often she got in touch with her father and where she went on the full moons. Depending on what they say, we might be able tostage her death to have been caused by a werewolf under the Craving after we dump her body back on Blo?dyrio?.
With a little sigh, I lean against Varius’ chest. His fingers rub between my pussy lips, slow and gentle. It isn’t sexual. It’s just touching for the sake of touching. A need to be connected while our souls try to heal from all the pain we’ve suffered through.
“Why did you let me kill her?” I finally ask, realizing I have no idea why he did it. I turn to look at him, but he nudges me back around.
“She touched you without my permission,” he says as he cups a breast and teases my nipple under the warm water.
“No, she –” My jaw drops as I twist to face him. “You’re such a neanderthal! You got jealous she touched my mind?”
“I told you, Micha. Every part of you is mine. Now face forward so I can hold you.” He manhandles me, twisting me around until my back is flush against his chest again. His hand goes back to rubbing my nipple.
I swat him away. “You have issues, you know that?”
“I know. I married them.”
“Hey!” I start to turn around again, but he stops me by pushing two fingers into my pussy. I suck in a breath as I lift my hips.
He chuckles as he pulls them out again, then goes back to just petting me. I smile as I sag against his chest.
Lifting a hand to my stomach, I think about the little life beneath my palm.
“We’re making a baby,” I whisper.
His hand rises to cover mine. “Can you feel her kicking yet?”
I shake my head. “I’m only fourteen weeks. It’ll take another two at the earliest; though as she’s my first, I might not feel her for over a month or two.” If she survives that long. I’m still at a high risk of having a miscarriage. Babies don’t develop a magical immune system until the twentieth week.
He squeezes my hand.
I force a smile even though he can’t see me. Sau is the best healer on this side of the Atlantic, perhaps even in the entire world. She’s going to be fine. A warmth blossoms in my chest. I can feel the truth of that statement. I might not be a foreseer, one who catches glimpses of the future, but there are some things a mother just knows.
My smile turns genuine with giddiness. I’m going to be a mother. “What do you think about Bambi?” I ask softly as I run my fingers across the back of his hand. My heart flutters with sudden nerves. Most parents don’t think of names until after the twentieth week, but I know our baby is a fighter. She will make it to term.
“Like as a movie?” he asks.
“No, as a name.”
“I guess it’s fine for a deer…”
I smile. “No, for our baby.”
The fact that I can’t feel his utter refusal to call our child this even when he’s so clearly against it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Awww. He’s trying so hard to not hurt my feelings.
“Deer are only ever prey,” he says slowly. “She needs a stronger name.” His confidence comes back. “Like Rafiki.”
“Rafiki,” I say flatly.
“Yes,” he says triumpantly.
“I’m not naming our baby after a baboon.”
“But he knows the way.”
My lips twitch. “No.”
“Scar? That’s a cool name.”
“He was the villain.”
“You just raped someone to death with a knife.”
I open my mouth, then close it. He has a point. “Still no.”
“Baloo?”
“Varius…”
“It’s a good name.”
“It’s a terrible name. People will be asking her how to spell it forever because it just sounds like Blue.”
“We can tattoo it on her forehead,” he deadpans.
I roll my lips in, but I can’t stop the giggle. “No.”
“Hmm. Jiminy Cricket? He survived getting eaten by a whale.”
“No.”
“Thumper?”
“That’s a bunny! You’re going back to prey animals.”
“He’s a rabbit, and rabbits are not prey animals,” he says seriously. “I have seen Monty Python.”
“No.”
“You’re right. People might mistake what rabbit she was named after. We should just go for the full title of The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.”
I laugh, loud and free. A flood of happiness comes down our bond as he chuckles with me.
“I love you,” he murmurs as he bands his arms around my chest.
I shake my head to clear it of giggles. Turning to look at him, I smile. He leans towards me for a soft kiss.
“You damn neanderthal. I love you too.”
After our bath, he drys me with a towel, then leads me to the bed. He rubs lotion all over my skin as he gives me a full body massage. I lie on my front as he kneads the tightness out of my back, sighing contently into my pillow.
His hands work from my shoulders down to the top of my ass, then they go up again. Then down again, and with each cycle, they get a bit lower. My eyes peek open when he gropes my ass. His hard dick rubs between my cheeks.
“I thought I was just getting a massage,” I say.
“You are,” he replies as he rocks his dick back and forth. He pushes my ass cheeks together. “Your ass is a part of your body and a very fine part too.” He slaps it, and I curl my toes.
Shuffling down my legs, he lines his dick up with my pussy. Then he grabs my hips and pulls me onto him. I moan as he fucks me slowly, but I don’t meet his rhythm. I’m too relaxed to want to move.
He doesn’t seem to mind.
He pulls out of me slowly, then pushes in just the same. He’s taking his time, feeling every inch of me on his dick, rubbing me sensually rather than fucking me hard.
I close my eyes again as I moan into his pillow.
He builds me up slowly, never changing his pace. Just a soft, gentle climb up to the top that has me falling off it with a small, shuddering cry.
Collapsing on top of me, he slides one hand under my body to cup my pussy.
I sigh, loving the feel of his weight squishing me. Like a comfort blanket that’s oh so warm and protective.
Eventually though, he gets too heavy, and I wiggle so he knows to get off. Rolling me onto my side, he keeps his dick in me as he cuddles me from the back.
I thread my fingers through his. “Varius?” I murmur, half asleep.
“Yes, monster?”
I hesitate a few seconds even though I’m the one who started this conversation. As much as I want this, I don’t know if I should want this yet. It hasn’t been that long in the scheme of things since he hurt me. Am I an idiot for taking him back this quickly?
But it’s not like either of us thinks we’re fixed, perfect, back to normal or how we used to be. We’re nowhere near that, and we know it. But we’re on the path towards it. And this is just one step in that direction.
“Will you tattoo me?” I murmur, now suddenly awake and no longer relaxed.
He stills. “Are you sure?”
I nod.
“Of course I will.” He pulls his dick out of me as he rolls away, and his cum floods all down my thighs. He pulls me to the edge of the bed so my legs are hanging over it. Then he walks over to our dresser to get the tattoo gun he bought a couple months ago.
Gods, that feels like forever ago...
When he turns around, his eyes find mine, and there is a vulnerability there I never expected. “If I do this, Micha,” he says slowly. “You can’t ever cut it off. It’ll break me.”
My eyes mist as my breath catches in my chest. I didn’t realize how much that had hurt him. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I say. “I hurt you too, Varius. And I’m sorry. My intention wasn’t to punish you. I just needed…”
“I know,” he says. Then he swallows. “But if you’re sure…”
I nod. “I am.”
An abundance of joy comes down our bond as he walks back to me. “I love you,” he says as he kneels between my thighs. He sets everything up with the tattoo gun, then starts to draw a character over my pussy. Then a word. Then a name.
Tears burn my eyes as I wiggle my fingers down by my side when he’s finished. He threads his fingers in mine and squeezes.
“I love you, monster.”
“I love you too.”
Although we might not be anywhere close to being okay, I can finally see a future where we could be.
We’ll just need to work on us one day at a time.
I squeeze his hand.
But we will get there. I know it.
Because he is irrevocably mine.
And I can finally believe that I am his.
Property of Varius Shadow