30. 30
30
LYLA
C assie and I are perched on a couple of stools in Bev’s studio for their weekly paint night. Bev provides drinks and snacks, plus all of the materials you would need. Half of the money goes directly towards helping families pay for extracurricular activities, including lessons at Bev’s studio, and there’s always a big turn out. Tonight is no different and the studio is filled to the brim with locals. Bev flutters around like the social butterfly she is, though she makes a point to come over and say hello before getting immersed in helping people with their creations.
I’ve been coming into the studio once a week and it’s one of my favorite things to do now. Bonding with other artists and meeting more of the people in town has given me so much joy and I truly value my time in the studio. Everything goes quiet when I’m there; once my pencil touches the paper, it’s like I have tunnel vision. Nothing else matters and I’m able to lose myself within the page.
The only thing that brings me the same type of serenity is the feeling of waking up in Parker’s arms.
I have been staying the night at his place this week, which means this girls’ night with Cassie is desperately needed. I’ve barely seen her since we got back from Edmonton and I know she’s itching for the details.
“Okay, this looks like it was painted by a five-year-old.” Cassie grimaces at her canvas.
I glance over at her painting and a laugh bursts from my mouth.
“Cassie, your proportions are all wrong. You have to start the branches and leaves lower, otherwise it looks like a bush on top of a tree trunk. May I?”
I grab one of my unused paint brushes and dip it into her brown acrylic paint before bringing the brush up to the canvas.
“See, this is how you want to hold the brush.” I demonstrate for her. “And you just sweep it over like this to create a branch. Do a few of those and we’ll work on leaves after. Those are more complicated.”
“Jeeze, you make it look so easy,” Cassie grumbles. “I don’t understand how all of your drawings and paintings turn out so beautiful. I am not meant to be an artist, clearly.”
This causes another laugh to erupt out of me.
“Maybe not an artist in this sense, but your charcuterie boards are their own work of art.”
Cassie nudges her shoulder with mine in thanks before turning her attention back to the canvas.
“So, when are you going to fill me in on you and Parker? I’ve hardly seen you since you guys got back from seeing your mom.”
“Well, you know he’s my boyfriend. But we, um, well we slept together.”
Cassie’s chocolate eyes shoot to mine and her mouth gapes open.
“Oh my god, you dirty birdie! Tell me everything.”
I can’t help the smile on my face as I answer. “He’s amazing. I’ve never been with a man who cares about my pleasure as much as his own. And the dirty talk—” I fan myself.
“Lyla Thomas! You are a smitten kitten!”
I nod and smile broadly as I take a sip of my wine, allowing the full-bodied Cab to settle my nerves as I brace for my next words .
“He told me he loves me.”
I allow that to hang in the air for a moment as Cassie’s face morphs from shock, into a triumphant grin.
“Inevitable,” she states simply before beginning to paint again. “What did you say when he told you that?”
“I said I loved him, too.” I sigh. “I really do, Cassie. I’ve never met someone who just understands me and is whole-heartedly invested in me.”
I chew on my lip for a moment, thinking of how to word this.
“I’ve never felt so safe with another person. I know that Parker cares for me and always has my best interests at heart. And I have never felt like someone was in my corner, rooting for me. With him, I feel like I can be exactly me, but still work on myself in the interim. He wants me as I am, but still encourages me to better myself every day. It’s extremely foreign, but refreshing.”
Cassie looks so happy, but there’s a sadness behind that. The smile on her face doesn’t quite match the dimness within her eyes.
“I can’t even imagine finding a man who makes me feel that way.” She fiddles with her paint brush. “I envy you, Lyla. Don’t let him go.”
I study Cassie for a moment as she continues painting branches. She’s an extrovert who thrives around others, but the more I get to know, the more pain I see. Other than her close friends, she doesn’t trust easily. With women, she’s more open. But men? She instantly has a guard up around them. The only exception is men who are strictly friend-zoned. I’m not sure why that is. Cassie doesn’t speak much about past relationships, but I have a feeling she had her heart broken irreparably.
“You’ll find it someday, Cass.”
I reach out and lay a hand on top of her arm, forcing her to stop her strokes. Her gaze hits mine and there’s a flash of uncertainty, so I continue.
“I firmly believe that there is a man out there who is going to sweep you off your feet and make you wonder how you went so long without him.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” she says sadly. “I don’t know if I can ever get there with someone. It’s such a vulnerable position to be in and thinking about doing that again… Well, it’s unappealing, to say the least.”
“I honestly believed that too, and then I found Parker.” I shrug. “Never say never.”
Parker and I are curled up on his couch, my legs over his thighs as we read. It’s mid-December and the weather has been brutal with a constant frigid wind, but today is still. The sky is overcast and it’s still cold, but the howling wind has died down overnight and we’re enjoying a lazy Sunday after a night filled with out-of-this-world sex.
I’ve never been an overly sexual person and I’m realizing now that it’s because I didn’t trust the men I was with previously. I wasn’t comfortable with them in the way I am with Parker. With him, I feel sexy, bold, and desired. The way his eyes trace every curve of my body when I undress, the way he goes feral when I’m on my knees, the way he laps me up like I’m his last meal. It’s so new to me and I’m enjoying every second of our time together.
His hand is gently stroking my leg over the blanket as his eyes scan the page of the novel he’s working on. Seeing him like this, so relaxed in his own environment, makes me swoon even harder for this man. He loves the piece of land he lives on and he put so much of himself into this cabin. Being in his house feels like being wrapped in a warm hug as I sip on my cup of tea. I nestle further into the couch and let out a contented sigh, drawing his attention.
“Enjoying yourself?” He smirks as he squeezes my knee.
“Yes,” I admit. “I love this house, this land, this fireplace. It’s so peaceful up here.”
Parker stays silent for a moment too long.
“What’s going on in that head of yours? ”
“I always wanted something out of town. I know it’s small as it is, but I need the space.”
He hesitates before clearing his throat.
“I always said that the woman I end up with has to love this place as much as I do. She had to see the beauty of the meadow, the snow-capped mountains, hear the birds chirping and feel the breath of wind against her cheeks. And she had to love it all. Otherwise, how could she love me?”
His finger is circling my knee in a figure eight, repeating the motion, over and over.
“The first time you showed up here, I saw the look on your face and I knew you were different from any of the other women I’ve met. You saw this place for all of its natural beauty and it made me feel more accepted than I have in years.”
Tears are sliding down my cheeks at his admission and I jump into his lap without warning. Parker chuckles and wraps his arms around my waist before pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you, too, baby.”
The Spotify playlist begins playing Lover by Taylor Swift and Parker’s eyes gleam.
“Will you dance with me?” he asks shyly.
“Yes.” I say without hesitation.
I climb off of his lap and grab for his hand as we stand and he spins me before pulling me into his broad chest. He keeps hold of my one hand, placing it over his heart, and the other around my lower back. I rest my other hand on his shoulder and we melt into one another. Time stands still as I look into his mesmerizing icy blue eyes that have softened more every day. Eyes that once held so much hostility, now reflect so much love.
We sway to the music and a light snowfall begins outside. We both turn our attention out the window before meeting gazes again.
“Like a movie,” I breathe out .
Parker flashes a smile. “I never believed these things happened in real life. You’re making me believe, Lyla.”
Cold air assaults my face as we climb the steep mountain path. Parker and I decided to go on a hike today. We finally have a clear sky and the temperatures have risen enough to allow outdoor activities. Parker hates being cooped up in the cabin. It causes him to become restless and his anxiety to heighten, so we had bundled up this morning to brave the elements. Frost covers the tree branches and pine needles, giving the path a majestic and otherworldly feel. I inhale deeply, despite the frigid air burning my lungs.
I would never get sick of this town. The beauty held within the mountains is something that will stick with me forever. The scents, the sounds, and the open spaces have done amazing things for my mental state, and I find myself feeling elated and free more and more often. My body simply feels lighter here and I can’t tear my gaze away from the man walking in front of me. This town has become my home, and my safe space is within his arms.
Emotion clogs my throat and I think about the days that I had yearned for this feeling. I close my eyes, a tear making its way down my flushed cheek.
Home , I had thought on my first day here.
And a true home it is.
“We’re just about at the top.” Parker huffs out a breath at the steep incline.
I use my hiking poles to leverage myself higher and higher, boots crunching in the snow, leaving my mark on this place. Suddenly, I see a clearing in the trees and Parker turns around with a brilliant smile stretched across his chiseled face. Ice has built up in his beard, making me chuckle. This man loves the outdoors, no matter the time of year .
As I come to stop, I look down at the valley below. The lake at the center is frozen, and the sun reflects off the surface, creating a sparkle wherever it touches. The air smells cold, something only Canadians understand, an extra crispness added by the negative temperatures. Glitter catches my eye as the sun pans over the snow-covered trees and time stops. The world feels brighter today, warming my soul and cracking open my heart.
“Beautiful, huh?” Parker remarks as he slings an arm around me, pulling me into his side for warmth.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” I admit.
“I can only think of one thing more beautiful.”
I lift my gaze to see Parker staring down at me, and I know that this moment will live forever in my head.