BROTHERHOOD PROTECTORS HAWAII BOXED SET 3 (Brotherhood Protectors Hawaii Boxed Sets)

Chapter 1

The tortured teen buried his face in his hands and hunched over in the chair. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Sachie’s heart squeezed hard in her chest. She leaned forward and touched the young man’s arm. “You don’t have to hurt anyone, Luke.”

When he’d shown up at her office as she was closing the door to leave for the day, he’d been distraught, almost what she considered manic. His hands shook, and his eyes were wide and wild.

She hadn’t had the heart to tell him to come back in the morning. Instead, she’d let him in, ushering him into the room where they’d conducted their counseling sessions.

Now, he glanced up at her, his eyes filled with tears. “I’m just like my father. I’ll always be like him. What choice do I have? I have his DNA; I’m hardwired like him. I can’t escape it.”

“Yes, you can,” Sachie assured him. “If you stay on your medications, you can control the ups and downs of being bipolar. You won’t be as susceptible to the mood swings.

But you have to stay on the meds. They help you regulate the chemicals in your brain that are making you feel the way you do. You don’t have to do it on your own.”

Luke shook his head. “It was only a matter of time before something bad happened, and I lost my shit. I knew someone would get hurt, and I’ll never forgive myself.

It’s no use. I can’t have a real life. I can never trust myself with a girl.

I mean, look what I did to Kylie.” He waved his hand in the air.

“The girl I care more about than anyone—I put her in the hospital.”

Sachie’s stomach clenched. “What happened, Luke?”

Again, he buried his head in his hands. “I never wanted to hurt her. She was my everything, and I hurt her!” He leaned back and stared at his hands.

“I hurt the girl I love. Instead of her, I should’ve hurt myself.

” He pounded his fist into his forehead.

“Why am I this way? Why can’t I be normal?

” He continued to pound his fist into his forehead, leaving a red mark that grew bigger with each blow.

“Luke, you can’t beat yourself up.” Sachie reached out to capture his wrist in her hand, halting his assault on himself.

He jerked his hand out of her grasp and leaped to his feet.

Sachie backed away several steps, giving herself distance from the tall, gangly teen. During their sessions, he’d never hit her, but hadn’t he just admitted to putting his girlfriend in the hospital?

He paced away from her. “Whatever gene it is causing me to be this way needs to stop here.” Luke spun and faced her, his cheeks red enough to match the patch on his forehead.

“I could never have a kid of my own, knowing I could pass this down to him. I wouldn’t wish this mental disease on anyone.

It’s genetic, I tell you. I don’t want to end up like my father, in jail for murdering my wife.

He killed my mother in one of his rages.

That’s how he ended up in prison. That’s how I ended up in foster care.

” He pivoted on his heel and faced the wall.

A print of a Hawaiian beach with stately palm trees hung in front of him, a scene meant to instill a sense of serenity.

He swept his hand across the print, knocking it off its hook. The picture landed with a crash on the floor, the frame shattering into pieces.

Sachie fought to remain calm, though her heart hammered against her ribs.

She eyed the door, gauging the number of steps it would take to reach it should she need to make a quick escape.

The problem was that she’d have to pass near the teen on her way out.

He’d hurt his girlfriend. He might hurt Sachie.

He turned to face her, his brow furrowed, deep shadows beneath his eyes as if he hadn’t slept in days.

“Everything was going better than it ever had. I was in school, doing my community service at the Honolulu Boys’ Club after school, and I saw Kylie in the evenings and on weekends.

I even liked working with the younger kids.

” He grimaced. “I almost believed I could have a real life. I could be different.” He snorted and strode past Sachie to stand, staring out the window.

The view from the window was of a garden filled with colorful bougainvillea, a stark contrast to the teen’s dark and dangerous mood.

Sachie took another step backward, edging toward the door while Luke’s back was to her.

She hated feeling defensive. Her job was to help this young man, not run from him.

She couldn’t bail on him like so many others had.

But damn. Her receptionist had left before her.

Sachie was alone, with no one to help her if Luke turned violent toward her.

She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly.

Panicking wouldn’t help her or Luke. “Did something happen at school that set you off?”

The young man shook his head, rocking back and forth, his hands rubbing against his thighs in nervous thrusts.

“Did something happen at the Boys’ Club?” Sachie persisted.

Luke stopped rocking and stiffened.

Had she struck a nerve?

His fingers curled into fists.

“Something happened there,” Sachie stated. “You were angry when you left to meet Kylie.”

“I wasn’t angry with her,” Luke said as if pushing the words through clenched teeth.

“Talk to me,” Sachie urged. “Tell me what happened. Maybe I can help you sort through your feelings. We can go through the techniques I showed you to help you manage your anger.”

He pounded his fist into the window, cracking the glass.

Sachie jumped, emitting a startled yelp.

“Didn’t you hear me?” he yelled, staring down at his bloody fist. “I’ll never be able to manage my anger. I’m damaged. You can’t fix me.”

“Luke, the medicine helps—if you stay on it. You can’t just quit taking the medication. You need it to allow you to live that normal life you want. You can have the marriage, children and a career if you stay on the drugs that regulate the serotonin in your brain.”

“That’s just it.” He spun toward her. “I got into drugs because I felt like I had multiple personalities. There was me, and then there was the other me. The other me couldn’t control his moods. When I got caught with the drugs, I was ordered into rehab to get off the drugs.”

“And you did,” Sachie reminded him. “You’ve been clean for months.”

“And yet, you tell me I have to be on drugs to get the voices in my head to stop making me crazy?” His brow twisted. “Trade one drug for another? No. I can’t live like that. The way I see it, I’m one missed pill away from killing someone.”

“You aren’t going to kill anyone,” Sachie said. In all her sessions with the young man, she’d never felt threatened or afraid. Until now. “Self-medicating with cocaine wasn’t the answer.”

He gave a bark of laughter. “That’s the one thing I can agree with.

It was hard to let go of the mind-numbing effects of cocaine.

It was so damned hard. I don’t wish that shit on anyone.

And I never want to be involved in helping others...

what did you call it?” His eyes narrowed.

“Self-medicate. I kicked it, but not everyone can. I really thought I’d won that battle and never had to go back there again. ”

“And you don’t have to go back,” Sachie tried to reassure him.

“I can’t. I won’t. It makes me angry all over just thinking about it. No matter what happens to me, I will never go back to that life, even if it means losing everything and leaving me with the voices in my head.”

Sachie frowned. “Did someone at the Boys’ Club try to give you drugs?”

Luke’s gaze avoided hers. “Kylie didn’t understand. All she wanted to do was help me. I couldn’t let her. She wouldn’t listen.”

“So you hit her?” Sachie whispered the question.

Tears welled in Luke’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I was trying to stop her. If she’d done what she was going to do...” His voice trailed off as his fist clenched, causing more blood to ooze from the cuts sustained from the cracked window.

Sachie fought back the urge to run from the room and call 911. “Luke, did you hit her?”

He continued as if in a trance, his voice monotone, his gaze on the bleeding hand. “When I grabbed her arm, she jerked away and fell, hitting her head against the corner of the building.” He stared at the thick red drops now falling to the floor. “There was so much blood...”

“You said you put her in the hospital.” Sachie needed to know Kylie was getting medical attention. “How did she get there?”

Luke raised his head, looking directly at Sachie but not connecting, as if he was looking at an image burned into his mind. “I took her to the emergency room.”

Sachie hated to ask but had to, “Was she breathing?”

Luke nodded. “I made sure they got her into an exam room. Once I knew she was in good hands, I left. She won’t have to worry. I’ll never hurt her again.”

“Oh, Luke,” Sachie moved closer and touched his arm. “You didn’t hurt her on purpose. It was an accident.”

“No.” He shrugged off her hand. “I can’t do this anymore. If I can’t trust myself, why should anyone else?”

“Luke, you came to me for help,” Sachie said. “Let me help you.”

“There’s no help for someone like me.”

“There is help for people like you, Luke.” Sachie stood still, wanting to take another step toward him but knowing it might make him feel like he was backed into a corner.

She was losing him. “You need medication that targets the specific chemicals in your brain, not street drugs. And you need to take the medicine every day for the rest of your life.”