Bryce

Chapter 7

Samantha’s hands were ice cold under Bryce’s grasp. She hadn’t said more than a few words since they left her apartment to head for the funeral service. He began to relax the closer the vehicle got to her apartment. He could only assume Samantha felt the same. She didn’t seem interested in talking and he didn’t want to push her. One thing he knew for certain was they both had a lot of emotions to sort out.

“Thank you, guys, for coming with me,” she said, breaking the silence.

Bryce gave her hands a squeeze. “We wouldn’t have it any other way. You feel better now that it’s over?”

“How terrible am I for feeling relieved?”

“Listen,” Meka jumped in. “There are no rules. You feel how you feel. And that goes for you, too, Bryce.”

He was surprised to hear Meka include him in her statement. He supposed he did need to hear it. Most of his focus had been spent trying to be there for Samantha. In being there for someone else he didn’t have to think of himself, which was a good thing. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d already grieved for his brother, but the funeral put the reality right in front of him and it was harder to handle than he’d expected.

“Thanks. We’ll get through this,” he said quietly.

“Yes. We will,” Samantha said, looking out the window as the SUV pulled up to her building.

Bryce climbed out first then held out a hand to help the other three out. Samantha was adamant about not having a repast, but he didn’t feel right just dropping her off at the door and leaving her alone. He took a moment to consider his options.

“Did you want us to come up? I hate the thought of you being alone right now,” Bryce offered.

“Don’t worry about me,” she answered with a sad smile. “I planned on using today to go through Brandon’s things and throw away whatever can’t be donated.”

“You don’t want any help?” he offered again.

“No. Don’t be offended, I told Meka the same thing,” she said with a nod toward her friend. “I know it seems crazy, but I want to be alone and go through his things just to prove to myself that I can do it.”

Bryce liked the sound of that. She was probably dealing with things in a healthier way than he was. Once the funeral events were over, he planned to move on with his life the same way he had the first time. He’d spend the night in the city and have drinks with his friend. Then, once he got home, he would pick things up where he left them before the accident.

“That doesn’t sound crazy at all. We’ll be staying in the city tonight. Let me know if you want company or if you want to get out of the house and hang with us. Somehow Rayelle has turned this into a girls’ trip with her fancy room and breakfast mimosas, so feel free to join in,” he offered.

Rayelle’s jaw dropped before she gently shoved him. “I have not! But seriously, Samantha. After you’ve taken some time for yourself and done whatever you need to do, you should meet up with us. We don’t have a real plan so don’t worry about interrupting or intruding.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it.”

Rayelle pulled her in for a hug. “I hope to hear from you. I’ll have Bryce text you my number and where we’re staying so you have it.”

Bryce waited for Rayelle to step back before he said his goodbye. He held his arms out and waited for her to step in before he pulled her close into a hug. Ignoring her warm inviting scent, he gave her a tight squeeze before releasing her and stepping back.

“Meka, take care of her,” he said before turning to lead Rayelle toward the subway.

As they stood on the platform and waited for the train, Bryce tried to force his mind to go anywhere else besides his brother’s widow. He didn’t think it was possible for someone to look both broken and strong at the same time, but she managed it. Her resolve to go through his things on her own was quite impressive. It was something he could learn from.

“You okay?” Rayelle asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah. I will be, anyway. What did you have planned for the rest of the day? Paint each other’s nails and watch movies?”

She laughed before rolling her eyes. “If you don’t stop it, that will be the plan. For your information, I left tonight open. We can take a nap. We can go eat. We can order room service again and watch T.V. It’s totally up to you.”

“I say we go back to the room and get changed and maybe take a nap. Then we can find a bar. I want to get a little food, but mostly I need a drink or five,” he suggested.

She grabbed his hand and led him into the train. “Your wish is my command.”

A couple of hours later they were sitting at a table near the bar and finishing off their first round of drinks. His plan wasn’t to get drunk, but there was no reason why he couldn’t. He wasn’t driving and he didn’t have anywhere to be in the morning, so he ordered another round to go with their appetizers.

“Samantha seems nice. I like her,” Rayelle commented as she dipped her fried ravioli into the dish of marinara.

“Not what you’d expect, right?”

She thought for a moment before responding. “I didn’t really have any expectations. I was mostly surprised he found a woman and stuck with her, considering his tendency to run.”

“Well, he found a woman anyway,” he mumbled before taking a drink of his bourbon.

Rayelle stopped just before taking a sip of her own drink. “Meaning?”

He hesitated. “It’s not really my place. I’ll just say there’s a reason she wasn’t in the car with him that night.”

“He really was a piece of work, wasn’t he?” she commented. “May he rest in peace.”

“Yeah, he was something. But now that’s all behind us. I’m starting over.”

“I’ll drink to that!” she said, raising her glass.

Bryce raised his glass, and that was where he decided to let go of the past. He wouldn’t forget his brother or pretend he never existed, but he refused to hold on to the anger and the hurt. Determined to move on, he truly realized he couldn’t control the actions of others. His mother’s suicide wasn’t his fault, and neither was the way his brother cut him out of his life. It was time for Bryce to make the effort to live for himself.

After a few rounds of drinks and some appetizers, they decided to head back to the hotel. It was still early, especially by New York City standards, but Rayelle had received a text that her husband was home early and was planning to meet them in the city. Bryce was looking forward to spending time with his friend.

“You don’t mind cutting the night short?” Rayelle asked for the third time while they walked back to the hotel.

“You’re killing me. Do I usually like staying out all night? You know I’d almost always rather stay in. Stop worrying,” he reassured her. “Plus, it feels like I haven’t seen Dominic in ages.”

She put her arm through his and leaned close. “You really are the best.”

“I know,” he said before stepping aside to open the door for her. “After you.”

As soon as they entered the lobby, Bryce spotted Samantha sitting in a chair. Pulling his phone from his pocket, he checked for missed calls.

“Samantha, how long have you been here? Did our numbers get lost?” he asked, coming to a stop in front of her chair.

“I’m sorry,” she said, quickly standing up. “If you guys were out, I didn’t want to interrupt you. They called your room and didn’t get an answer, so I thought I’d just wait a bit for you to get back, and if it got late, I’d go back home.”

“Are you okay?” Rayelle asked.

“Yes. I mean I will be. I should go.” She turned to leave.

Bryce reached out and grabbed her arm. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re fine. We just wish you called us instead of sitting here alone. Come on up.”

She hesitated. “I don’t know why I came here. You guys enjoy your night.”

There was no way Bryce would let Samantha leave without telling them what was wrong. He knew if she was there something was bothering her.

“Samantha,” he said firmly. “Come upstairs.”

Without protest, she followed them to the elevators. Once they reached the room, Bryce directed her to sit at the table while Rayelle went straight to the phone to call room service. He didn’t have to eavesdrop to know she was ordering alcohol of some sort.

“Talk to me,” he said softly, taking the seat next to her.

“I’m sorry, I just needed to walk away and Meka has her daughter, so I didn’t want to bother her, but I didn’t mean to bother you,” Samantha began to explain in one breath.

“Hey. Stop apologizing. What’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath and glanced at Rayelle who took the seat across the table. “I was going through all of his things, like I told you. There really wasn’t much, so it didn’t take long. Aside from work stuff, most of the things in the apartment belong to us both. So, I started going through finances and I am so screwed. He never let me touch his bank account. He paid all the bills and anything I was allowed to spend, he put in the joint account where my paycheck goes. I feel like such an idiot. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for everything once his life insurance money runs out.”

Rayelle spoke up before he could gather himself enough to respond. “I’m going to take a shower. I ordered room service. Champagne because we’re fancy.”

Bryce chuckled. “Drunks don’t drink champagne, only fancy people do, I guess.”

“Exactly,” Rayelle agreed before making her way to the bathroom.

She was giving them privacy. He was grateful he had an extra moment to think before he responded to what Samantha said. She clearly had no idea how controlling it was for Brandon to keep her away from their finances and give her a glorified allowance.

“Oh!” Samantha suddenly exclaimed. “Before I forget, I found this when I was going through the closet.”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a photo. Brandon, Bryce, and his mom smiled up from the picture. They had to be in elementary school when it was taken. Their mom looked happier than he could ever remember her being. He was surprised Brandon had it.

“Where did you find this?”

“There was a shoebox filled mostly with certificates from the fire department. His favorite book was in there. The first birthday card I gave him was in there. And this photo was in there. I thought you might want it.”

“Thank you,” he rasped after a moment, ignoring the sting behind his eyes.

“Maybe he didn’t really forget about you guys after all,” she said softly.

“I’m not sure if that makes me feel better. Thanks for giving it to me, though. Let’s get back to you. How quickly do you need to figure things out?”

He wanted to keep his focus on Samantha’s problems so he didn’t have to think about the photo. It was easier when he assumed Brandon never thought about him or their mom. If he did think of them, he would never understand why he stayed away. Bryce had been easy on him, considering.

The server from room service rapped on the door and announced his arrival. Bryce excused himself to let him in. The gentleman wheeled in a table with three buckets of ice. Each ice bucket contained a bottle of champagne. With a flourish, he opened the first bottle and filled two champagne flutes before showing himself out.

“I have some time,” she said after taking a sip. “I just can’t believe I had no idea what bills we have. There’s no way I can stay there if I don’t get a better-paying job. My theater hobby is over.”

“It’s not over, and it’s not a hobby. We’ll figure things out when it happens.”

“We?” she asked, surprised.

“Well, yeah. Unless you plan on kicking me and Ray to the curb after tonight,” he teased. “And good luck with that, by the way.”

At that, Samantha smiled. It was the first time he’d seen a smile reach her eyes, and the effect it had on him was unexpected. Her entire face lit up. The persistent crease above her brow seemed to disappear causing her brown eyes to look even brighter. He couldn’t look away.

“Is something wrong?” she asked after he looked at her longer than he intended.

“Just wondering what it would take to see you smile like that more often.”

Looking away, she sipped from her glass. It was obvious she wasn’t used to receiving positive attention and he wanted to change that. Another thought that took him by surprise.

“I have an idea,” Samantha said after a couple of minutes.

“I’m all ears.”

“I don’t want us to sit here feeling sorry for ourselves all night. How about a game of Never Have I Ever?”

Bryce nearly choked. That was the last thing he expected her to say. He didn’t know her well, but apparently, she was full of surprises. Her eyes met his and her smile was less confident than her suggestion made her sound.

“I’ll start,” Bryce volunteered. “Never have I ever gone to a near stranger’s hotel room.”

Samantha snorted out a laugh and briefly raised her glass before taking a drink.

“Never have I ever broken the law,” Samantha said after a thoughtful moment.

Bryce hesitated before taking a drink. He could lie and she would never find out but, for whatever reason, he wanted her to know the real him.

“Really? Unpaid parking tickets don’t count,” she said with a quiet laugh.

“If only,” he laughed out. “I wasn’t the easiest teenager. I took advantage of the times my mom stayed in her bed for days on end and got into some trouble.”

She looked surprised by the bit of information. “I thought you were the good one.”

“I was always good to my mom. I did act out, though. Me and a few of my idiot friends stole some stop signs thinking it would be funny. Well, it ended in us doing community service.”

“I’m sure you guys loved that.”

“Actually, it changed my life. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. I had to do my hours at the community center, and I ended up sticking around even after my hours had been met,” he answered candidly. “Okay back to the game. Never have I ever gotten drunk and danced on a table.”

Samantha closed her eyes and took a drink.

“What?” Bryce shouted. “No way. I don’t believe it.”

“I used to be a lot of fun, for your information. But wives don’t behave that way, so I toned it down a lot.”

Bryce sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “You know that’s bullshit, right?”

He could see the confusion in her eyes when she mirrored his actions and sat back in her chair. Just in the little time he’d known her, he was able to see bits of her personality peek through. As she began to heal, he hoped she would find her true self once again.

“That I used to be fun? Or that I toned it down?” she finally asked.

“That wives have to behave a certain way. As long as a person is faithful, who cares?”

“Never have I ever met someone else who instantly made me feel like I could be myself without having to worry,” Samantha said quietly.

Bryce didn’t lift his glass to take a drink. He had Rayelle, but even with her, it took him a while before he’d felt totally comfortable. His gut told him he could trust her, but it took him a little while to let his guard down. With Samantha, he felt he could be his authentic self around her from the moment he met her. He did hold back, but it was more because he wanted her to be comfortable than because he was afraid.

“Did I miss anything?” Rayelle asked as she rejoined them at the table. “Dom is on his way. He shouldn’t be too long.”

“We’re playing a game of Never Have I Ever,” Bryce informed her.

“Oh, I love this game!” she shrieked. “Never have I ever lost a library book.”

Both Samantha and Bryce took a drink. Samantha took a second and then a third drink and then laughed as she set her glass down. “Seriously?” Samantha finally asked.

“Yes, why is that so hard to believe?”

Samantha shook her head. “Because literally everyone has lost a library book at some point.”

“Not me,” Rayelle countered. “I had a designated reading spot at home. My book was either in my backpack or somewhere near my reading spot. I wouldn’t even read it at school during free time, or in the car because I was terrified of losing it.”

“And that’s why I only buy my books. It’s not because I work in a bookstore,” Samantha said with a laugh. “I’ve lost so many library books I still get anxious just thinking about it.”

“Am I missing the party?”

Dominic closed the door behind himself before dropping his bag on the floor. Rayelle jumped up from her seat and ran to him, jumping into his arms when he held them open. Bryce laughed and rolled his eyes.

“That’s Dominic. My friend since forever and Rayelle’s husband,” he explained to Samantha. “He’s an over the road truck driver, so he’s been gone for the past few weeks, but you’d think he was away at war.”

“Well, I think it’s sweet. I’ve never had that.”

“Yeah. Neither have I,” he agreed before turning his attention to Dominic. “Come on over here and have a drink. You have catching up to do.”

“I brought bourbon,” Dominic announced. “Thought you could use it. Sorry about your brother.”

“Thanks,” Bryce accepted. “This is Samantha. Brandon’s wife.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Samantha. How are you holding up?” Dominic asked as he pulled up a chair and joined them at the table.

“I’m managing,” she answered. Bryce could tell she wasn’t comfortable staying on the topic of her late husband.

“Somehow we ended up playing Never Have I Ever,” Bryce said, effectively changing the subject. “Interested?”

“Why not? But let’s at least make it interesting and switch to bourbon. We’ve all had a long day.”

Rayelle grabbed four glasses from the kitchenette. Dominic poured a little bourbon into each glass, and just like that the game became more interesting. With the statements they managed to think up, Bryce felt like he was getting to know everyone at the table, and not just Samantha. They were all good at coming up with things to make the others drink, so it wasn’t long before they polished off an entire bottle of bourbon.

“I should get going,” Samantha said as she pushed her chair away from the table.

Bryce looked at the time on his phone and then at the empty bottles of champagne and bourbon on the table. No way was she leaving. It was too late for any female to walk around by herself, let alone someone who had been drinking. He would have offered to see her home but if he was honest, he’d also had too much to drink.

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Bryce, I have a Metro Card and the train is right across the street. And my building is a block away from my stop. I’ll be fine, I’ve been taking care of myself since long before Brandon died,” Samantha argued.

“That’s fine, but you aren’t his responsibility anymore. I wouldn’t feel right letting you go, and I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you,” he said, ending with a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “Please, just stay here.”

She looked around as if she was expecting the others to have her back, but Dominic stood up and led Rayelle toward the bedroom. Bryce didn’t want Samantha to feel trapped or uncomfortable, but there was no way she was leaving to go home in the middle of the night.

“There’s just the fold-out couch, but I can have Dominic bunk with me so you and Rayelle can share the bedroom. Whatever will make you feel comfortable.”

She let out a nervous laugh and actually began wringing her hands. “He’s been away from her for the past however many weeks. And it seems they like each other. I won’t do that to either of them.”

Bryce watched quietly as she worked out her options. It was obvious that she was nervous, but he wasn’t sure what had her so worked up. She stood up and he could see she was a bit unsteady. The way she met his gaze told him she realized how unsteady she was at the same time he did.

“No way I’m letting you stumble out of here in the middle of the night. There’s extra blankets in the closet; I can sleep on the floor.”

“Stop it. You aren’t sleeping on the floor. If I stay—”

“If you stay that’s all it is. You staying. I’ll stay on my side of the bed on top of the blankets. I know how to keep my hands and everything else to myself.”

She laughed nervously again. “Do you think Rayelle has something I can borrow to sleep in? I don’t want to do the walk of shame in the morning in wrinkled up clothes I slept in.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “I have a t-shirt you can sleep in if that’s okay. There’s a bathrobe hanging up in the bathroom. You were right about them being apart for several weeks. I’d rather not knock on that door.”

Another nervous laugh. “Okay.”

Bryce unzipped his bag and pulled out a dark gray shirt and handed it to her. “You don’t have to be so nervous. You can trust me.”

Samantha woke up in strange surroundings. Though the curtains were drawn, she could see bits of daylight peeking through. She looked to her left and breathed a sigh of relief to find she was alone in bed. Flashes from the previous night came through as she stretched and fully entered consciousness. Glasses of champagne, shots of whiskey, and drinking games.

Lifting the blankets in a panic, she saw she was in a borrowed t-shirt. Just as the bathroom door opened, she remembered Bryce lending her something to sleep in. She looked up to Bryce walking out with a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet hair falling into his eyes. Before she caught herself, she glanced at his defined abs and chiseled chest. He froze when she made eye contact.

“Sorry,” he explained. “I forgot to bring my clothes in with me and the robe is with you. I’ll just… grab a few things. Sorry.”

He quickly grabbed some clothes before rushing back into the bathroom. Samantha pulled the blankets over her head and tried not to die of embarrassment. She had definitely been caught ogling. She had buried her husband the day before and woke up half naked in his brother’s bed the following morning. Something had to be wrong with her.

She jumped out of bed and threw her clothes on before he could come back out of the bathroom. If he caught her undressed, it would be the end of her. Since the numbness of grief was beginning to fade away, and the unease of her difficult marriage was no longer lingering in the background, every emotion felt amplified. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so awkward and unsure of herself.

The sound of his voice made her jump a few minutes later. “I have aspirin if you need it. You were pretty tipsy last night.”

“I think I was pretty far past tipsy,” she admitted. “Thanks for refusing to let me leave like that.”

“Well, I didn’t want to say it,” he said with a laugh.

“Nothing… um… happened…?”

The humor left his eyes and was replaced by what appeared to be hurt. He ran a hand through his nearly dry hair and cleared his throat before answering. “Just because my brother didn’t respect you doesn’t mean I don’t.”

She gasped in surprise, feeling like she had been slapped by his words.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said that. Of course nothing happened. Did I do or say something that made you uncomfortable? Something that would make you think that?”

“No,” she stammered. “It’s just that… I was in your bed, and I’m only wearing your t-shirt. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

He walked over to his suitcase and began packing things up. “Samantha, you don’t have anything to apologize for. But I would never do anything like that. If I touch you, it will be with your consent and when I know you’ll remember it.”

“Oh,” she breathed, ignoring the heat building between her thighs. “Okay. Well, I better get going. Tell Rayelle I said goodbye and thanks.”

She tried to gather her thoughts while she gathered her things. If he were to touch her. Those words shouldn’t have made her instantly imagine him touching her, but she did. And she didn’t hate it.

“What is wrong with me,” she muttered to herself.

“You say something?” Bryce asked.

“What? No,” she answered quickly.

Her phone started ringing as she picked it up. A number she didn’t recognize appeared on the screen as it continued to vibrate. She shrugged an apology to Bryce and moved over to the window to take the call. She wasn’t expecting it to be anyone important, but she felt weird talking on the phone in front of Bryce. The awkwardness just kept getting worse.

“Hello,” she answered.

“Samantha Tate?” a woman’s voice asked.

“Yes?”

“This is Keira Swinton. The musical director for Rent. We would like you to come for a second audition tomorrow afternoon at two.”

“I made call-backs? When I didn’t hear anything… I’m sorry. Yes. I will be there. Thank you.”

“Thank you,” the woman said before the phone beeped, signaling the end of the call.

When she turned around, Bryce was watching her with a small smile. “Good news?”

“I have a second audition. Tomorrow afternoon. I can’t believe it,” she said the last part to herself.

“That’s great!”

Before she realized what was happening, he was pulling her into a hug and swinging her around. Laughing, she held on tight until he righted her in front of him again. She straightened her shirt and looked up to see Rayelle leaning against the counter watching them with a small smile of her own.

“I got called back to do a second audition for Rent,” Samantha explained.

It was Rayelle’s turn to join in the celebration. She, too, pulled her into a hug. “Congratulations, girl! You better get me tickets once it opens.”

Samantha laughed at her enthusiasm. “I haven’t gotten cast yet.”

“You will. And I love Rent, so make sure I get good seats.”

“I love your confidence in me. Listen, thank you guys for last night and for letting me crash here. I need to get home, drink a ton of water, take a nap, and then get practicing. The audition is tomorrow.”

“A little hung over?” Bryce teased.

“A little? It’s been a while since I drank like that and it will be a long time before I do it again,” Samantha admitted. “I’ll, um… I’ll let you guys know how it goes.”

Less than thirty minutes later, Samantha pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she exited the subway station to make the short walk home. The cold wind ripped through her jacket. It was late fall, so she should have been prepared for the cold, but she never was. If she could skip winter, she would in a heartbeat. She walked faster so she could hurry and get out of the cold.

It was peaceful and silent when she opened her door. As often as she was home alone when Brandon was alive, the silence felt different knowing he would never be there. She made her way to the kitchen and drank a bottle of water while she heated water for tea. She really wasn’t feeling great. Between the hangover and not having enough sleep, she was in rough shape. She was thankful the audition wasn’t that day. She needed at least a day to recover.

As she sipped her tea and flipped through her sheet music, her thoughts drifted back to Bryce. Again. He had been nothing short of a gentleman. He’d stayed true to his word and slept on top of the blankets only covering himself with the spare blanket. He’d turned his back so she could take off the robe and get under the covers, even though his shirt kept her covered. Apparently, there were decent men out there. All men were not created equal.

She allowed herself a brief moment to indulge in the slippery slope of what-if. What if she had met Bryce instead of Brandon? What if she had listened to that little nagging voice that told her not to marry him so quickly? And her recent favorite: what if she had gone with him to the charity event?