Chapter 29
Bryce took in the scene in front of him and failed to come up with words. Samantha looked terrible. Her eyes red, and swollen, peered through heavy dark circles. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days. Her lip trembled, and it was obvious she was holding on by a thread.
“I’m sorry I’m late. I got here as fast as I could.”
Samantha looked at him in confusion as Meka took a few steps back, likely giving them some semblance of privacy. He took a step forward, and before he could offer a better explanation, she fell into his arms. She’d always had a slim build, but she felt frail in his arms. He held her tight, rocking back and forth as she cried into his chest.
“I know you have Meka with you, but I didn’t want you to have to go through it alone. I should have been there waiting for you to come out. I should have walked you in,” he continued to explain.
“How did you know I was here? Did you come here to stop me?” Samantha demanded.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that she wanted to know how he knew to show up, but he didn’t have an answer prepared. The truth was an option, but he didn’t want to cause any problems between Samantha and her friends. She needed her friends.
“Just tell me,” Samantha said with a sigh after pulling back to study his face. “I’ll only be pissed if you lie to me.”
“We shouldn’t be going through all of this with you on your feet. Why don’t we go somewhere to talk? Or have a seat on one of these benches,” he suggested.
He didn’t know much about the procedure, but he knew she should be taking it easy and avoiding stress. Standing there in the middle of the lobby having a serious conversation was the opposite of that.
“Tell me.”
“Don’t be mad at Meka. I demanded she tell me. You wouldn’t take my calls or return my text messages. I was so fucking worried about you,” he admitted. “She told me you were fine, but I wouldn’t accept that as an answer. I didn’t leave her much choice. I said if she didn’t tell me, I was going to show up at your place and refuse to leave until you talked to me.”
Samantha stared at him in shock. He hated to reveal that side of himself, but she had left him with no choice. He would never do anything to hurt her the way Brandon had hurt her, but not knowing if she was okay literally made him crazy.
“So, you came here to stop me? It’s my body.”
He took a step back at her accusation. Didn’t she know him better than that? At no point did he try to influence her decision. He’d been surprised to hear that she decided to end the pregnancy, but he would never try to tell her what to do. It wasn’t up to him.
Moving closer again, he spoke just loud enough for her to hear him. “I just wanted to be there for you. I know how hard this is. I know how much you want a family. That’s why I’m here.”
“You weren’t hoping to swoop in here and change my mind?”
He started shaking his head before she even finished her question. “No. I wouldn’t do that. I just can’t have you shutting me out.”
With his arms still loosely wrapped around her, he was able to feel her sag with relief. Tears welled in her eyes before overflowing and forming steady tracks down her cheeks.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispered against her ear. “Are you in pain? What can I do?”
This time, she began shaking her head before he finished his questions. “I didn’t do it. I couldn’t.”
Those were words he hadn’t expected to hear. The way she’d ghosted him, going as far as to ignore each one of his messages, he figured she had her mind set. And he knew that once her mind was set there was no changing it.
“Let’s get you out of here,” he suggested. “I paid for parking. Meka? Are you coming?”
“Are you going to take care of her?”
He let the insult roll off his back. “For as long as she allows me to.”
Meka studied them both before turning her attention to Samantha. “Are you okay with this? You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to.”
Bryce would have been annoyed if he didn’t appreciate how protective Meka was toward Samatha. He couldn’t get angry with anyone who was looking out for her. With Samantha held firmly against his side, they walked through the doors and into the bitter cold. The entrance to the garage was at the end of the block, and they walked in silence.
“Do you want me to take you home?” he asked once they were inside his truck.
She looked so lost sitting in the passenger seat that all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and comfort her. It took a lot of effort, but he was able to redirect his attention to driving. He pulled out of the parking space and slowly drove to the gate, cash in hand.
“I don’t want to go home,” she breathed, her voice so quiet he nearly missed it.
“Okay. I’m taking you home with me, then.”
He meant for his statement to sound more like a question, but if he was honest, he wasn’t asking. He’d given her space as she requested, and now he was looking at a broken version of the woman he had fallen in love with. Never again would he doubt his instincts and do what he felt in his soul was the wrong thing.
“I’m sorry I disappeared on you.”
His gaze remained on the road as he waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, he waited a few minutes before he spoke.
“Do you want to talk about why? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
She waited so long to speak he assumed she wasn’t going to. And that was fine. She didn’t owe him any form of apology.
“You’re a good man. Too good. I knew that you would stick around no matter what, and I don’t want you to do that just because you feel obligated. I’m not the only one fucked up by all this,” she explained. “I don’t want you to try to convince me that you’re okay raising your brother’s child. I know the relationship between the two of you was pretty bad. And I know that you’ll say you’re okay with it. Just because I’m keeping this baby doesn’t mean I want us to still be together.”
He let her words sink in. Sure, he had expected her to say as much, but it still stung. There were too many assumptions between the two of them. He assumed she knew how he felt about everything without having to tell her.
“Do you want to hear how I feel about all of this, or would you rather go with your version?” He didn’t mean to sound harsh, but he was annoyed that she continued to underestimate him.
He knew she was tired, emotionally exhausted by her morning. If she didn’t answer him or chose to go with her own version, he wouldn’t push. Not yet. She leaned her seat back and he figured she was going to sleep, which was also fine. He focused on the drive. The sky was gray and dreary which matched his mood, but at least it wasn’t snowing. He also took a moment to appreciate the lack of traffic. He had hit plenty of traffic on the way into the city which was why he had nearly missed her.
“Tell me,” she requested, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts several minutes into the drive.
“I wouldn’t do that, you know,” he began, unsure if he wanted to dive into a monologue, or just give her a short version. “I don’t say things I don’t mean, and I don’t do things unless I want to do them.”
When he spared a glance in her direction, he found her watching him carefully, waiting for him to go on. Relieved, she seemed to be returning to her usual self, he took a chance and continued.
“I was close to Brandon when we were kids. He was basically my shadow. We did everything together. I told you about my mom and how she was depressed. Well, I think that really did a number on him. So, while I don’t think I’ll stop being pissed at him anytime soon, for all the shit he did then and to you, I can understand why he was the way he was. I wish I had reached out to him, or suggested he get psychological help—”
“It wasn’t your fault, Bryce. He was a grown man who made his own choices.”
“I know. I’m not saying it’s my fault, I’m just trying to explain my mindset. I’m not very good at this sort of thing. Haven’t had much practice.”
Samantha placed a warm hand on his thigh. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Sorry.”
She was kind to a fault. Thinking of him and how she made him feel instead of thinking of herself. Telling her exactly how he felt was the only way to go. He took a deep calming breath and spared one more glance at her before he went on.
“I love you. The way I feel about you is nothing like I’ve ever felt before. So, while, yes, I would do anything in my power to make you happy, I would never lie to you. The thought of you carrying my child made me so happy, I can’t explain it. Was I disappointed to find out the child might not be mine? Yes. Of course, I was. But assuming the dates are correct, Brandon will have a piece of him go on. I love that for him.
“He fucked up and did a lot of shit he shouldn’t have, and treated people in unforgivable ways, but this is almost like the chance for a do-over and I would be honored to have the opportunity to be in his or her life. To see a part of my brother going on—” he cleared his throat when his voice cracked. “To see a part of my brother get a chance to be happy and make the world a better place is not something I’m just pretending to want. It’s everything to me.”
He was met with silence. He didn’t dare look at Samantha, instead looking at the road ahead. They were nearly to his house. The drive felt short even though he was holding his breath most of the time. He didn’t want to come on too strong, knowing what a rough morning she’d had.
After he pulled into the driveway, they sat in silence for a few minutes until Bryce stepped out and rounded the truck to open her door. She looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes brimming with tears. She looked so vulnerable, that it nearly gutted him.
“Please don’t cry,” he said gruffly. “I can’t stand to see you cry. Tell me what I can do.”
“I’m not crying.” She allowed him to help her out of the truck and continue holding her hand as they walked to his door. “It’s just what you said…”
He unlocked the door and allowed her to step in first before he followed. Once he closed the door behind them, he placed his hand on her shoulder and gently turned her to face him.
“What about what I said?” He was slightly defensive, assuming she didn’t believe him.
“It was all the right things.”
“Samantha,” he began before taking a slow breath. “I meant every word. You don’t have to say anything back. I know it’s already been a long day, even though it’s barely lunchtime. I just want you to know how I feel.”
Samantha moved slowly, as if taking her coat off and hanging it up took every last bit of her strength. When she finally turned to look at him, it was exhaustion covering her features instead of sorrow.
“Why don’t you lie down and get some rest,” he suggested. “I’ll take out something to cook then join you. I’m exhausted, too.”
Without any argument, she turned and headed up to his bedroom while he watched her go. All he could do was hope that she had changed her mind about not being together. Of all the things that were going on, that’s what hurt him the most. The idea of not being with her. Not seeing her. Not talking to her.
There was something about waking up after making the right decision. Samantha had no idea how long she’d been asleep, but she woke up feeling good. Finally. Bryce had an arm draped around her, but the blankets covering her served as a barrier between them. Even with the barrier, the warmth of his body surrounding hers chased away what unease remained inside.
“Hey,” he whispered beside her.
With a subtle smile on her face, she turned toward him. He looked as though he, too, had just woken up. His eyes were hopeful below his creased forehead. Without thinking, she reached up and brushed her fingertips across the lines on his forehead.
“You’re frowning,” she pointed out.
“Am I?” he asked. “I guess I’m just worried about you.”
“You don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. I know I made the right decision. I knew that before I ran into you.”
“When I ran into you, you were falling apart,” he pointed out.
“Because I felt like I had betrayed myself, and you, for even being in there. You were right. Brandon’s life meant something, and I felt like shit for not even considering that. I came so close to making a decision that I didn’t really want because I was too busy being angry and feeling sorry for myself to realize what I did want. I’ve wanted a baby for so long, and I was ready to throw away what could be my only chance. That’s why I was crying.”
Bryce didn’t speak. He was silent as he traced small circles up and down her arm with his fingertips. His gentle touches did wonders to soothe her. She snuggled into him and relaxed while enjoying just being near him.
“So, you’re feeling better?” he finally asked.
“Yes.” His arms were wrapped around her, and she covered them with hers.
“And what you said about us not being together?” he asked, his voice laced with anxiety.
Turning over, she studied his face. His stony expression would have intimidated her if she didn’t know him. She knew he would never hurt her or put her in a position where she could be hurt. She trusted him.
“Do you even want me?” she asked, knowing she wasn’t worth the fight or the drama.
“Do I want you?” he asked incredulously. “You are all that I want.”
The raw honesty in his voice and expression took her breath away. She had told him she was done crying, but if he continued to say things like that, she would have to go back on her word.
“What?” he asked once she had stared at him for too long.
So many thoughts and emotions ran through her that she didn’t know where to start. What could she tell him? When words failed her, she pulled him into a kiss, her mouth eager to feel the touch of his. He kissed her back, holding her face as he deepened the kiss. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him close. Feeling his body pressed against hers was exactly what she needed to rebuild the broken pieces of her soul.
“So does this mean you want me, too?” he asked when he finally broke their contact.
“You are all that I want,” she said, repeating his words back to him.
Without warning, he pulled the blankets off of her and crawled down her body, stopping when he was at eye level with her stomach. “I lied. There’s more than one thing that I want.” He kissed her stomach.
“Oh my god,” she choked out as the tears she promised were gone began to stream down her face once again.
“I prefer Bryce,” he teased.
Even as she laughed, she continued wiping away her tears. “I said I was done crying. I swear that’s all I do anymore.”
Bryce kissed his way back up her body, over her clothes, and pulled her into his arms. “I love you, tears and all.”