Bullet (BLP Motorcycle Clubs #1)

3. Crystal

Four and a half Years Later: May 2025

I woke up with a late start today. I'd stayed up late, crying and reminiscing about the past. Four and a half years long ass years had gone by, and life wasn't the same without my Bulley. Arizona was already slow-paced, and it slowed down the healing of my heart. His smile, tight embraces, and our lovemaking sessions were ingrained in my memory. There was no way another man could ever compete with Bulley. I didn't even try to look for one. No other man deserved me or my love, only him. I tried not to harbor the possibility that he'd settled down with a woman and had a few kids. It was too painful to think about. So, I imagined he threw himself into his family's company, enjoyed his motorcycle crew, and lived a life of solitude like I did.

Well, that's what I tried to do, but it was hard when you had a four-year-old little girl who was just as rambunctious and rowdy as her mama. Clear Views gave me and her great-grandparents a run for our money every day. Some days, she was chill and civilized, but most school days and vegetables were her opps. Summer vacation was around the corner, and to be a preschooler, she was pretty excited for it to come. How in the world she was fed up with school already baffled me, but such was life.

It was late afternoon, and the sun didn't beat down on us too much. Living with Grandma Tula and Poppy was an adjustment period. I had to create a routine as a single mama and get to know my grandparents on a deeper level. Had I not been raised by my dad's side of the family first, I would've chosen my mama's parents every day of the week. They were retired accountants who made great stock market decisions. They were well off and lived a peaceful life. Mama's parents were from Decatur, IL, too, but after Mama and Daddy's wedding, they moved to Arizona. Daddy's side was a mess and drama-filled, and Grandma Tula and Poppy wanted to be away from all the nonsense. I didn't blame them.

As the only girl on both sides, they spoiled me rotten as well. Now that Little Clear was here, so was she. I wasn't completely discarded away. My bank account was loaded, thanks to Daddy and his guilt. Clear and I wanted for nothing financially. Things were different with Mama. She provided love and support and always came and stayed with us for half of every year. She'd recently left two months ago, and we had a time per usual. Our days were filled with shopping, fine dining, late-night movies, and fishing with Poppy by the river. Mama was a dutiful daughter and the best mom as well. She was a damn good wife too, but lately their marriage had been on the rocks. It was because of me. Had I been a better daughter, then she wouldn't have to deal with him cheating and lying all the damn time. She deserved the same happiness and love I desired. One day, though, we'd have it.

I sat back on my knees and looked at the huge house on the left side of my grandparent's modest home. It looked damn near like a mini-mansion. I'd been contemplating buying it for the past two years. Something told me to buy it. I wanted to, but it was a home for a family. For now, it was just Clear and me, and it was too big at the moment, but who knows? I got back to work.

Minutes later, my grandparent's neighbor, Antonio, stepped out onto his back patio and gave us a wave. He owned the house to the right of them. Antionio was a fine middle-aged Italian man with olive skin and wore that comb over fade that white men enjoyed so much. He was over six feet tall and had a nice body and a charming smile. When he barbecued, he always brought us food, and we did the same.

"How are you ladies doing today? Nice weather for it to be late afternoon," he greeted.

"Hey, Antonio," I replied.

"It is a nice afternoon," Grandma Tula added.

"Hey, Tonio. I'm planting tomatoes," Clear sang.

He smiled broadly at her. "Is that right, little one? May I have one when they grow big?"

"Yes!" she voiced with more excitement.

"My girl. Well, I'll let you ladies be. Tell your Poppy I said hello," he stated.

"Will do. Enjoy your day," I responded. He nodded before walking back into his house.

Grandma Tula wore a look of gratitude on her face as she waved her favorite church fan against her dark brown skin. Her roller set was laid, thanks to me, and lightly moved every time she fanned herself. Grandma Tula was five-foot-two, yet when she opened her mouth, she talked shit like she was six-foot- eleven. Mama was definitely her child because they popped shit like nobody's business. The apple didn't fall too far from the tree because I was just like them and so was Little Clear. Lord knows she stressed her teachers out every day of the week with her little talkative and opinionated self. Grandma Tula relaxed in her reclined lawn chair, smirked at her phone, and then looked back at us. Clear helped me plant grandma's summer squash, tomatoes, onions, peppers, and cabbage. She was a great helper. Clear poured the seeds where I told her to and covered them with the fresh soil. Pretty soon, we'd be done and moved on to her favorite part, watering the garden. She went crazy and would wet up everything if we didn't wheel Clear in.

We continued to work and laugh until Grandma Tula's voice interrupted us. "You ladies are doing a great job. I can't tell you how good it's been to have you here with us, Crystal. I know things ain't right at home, but this is your home, too. Never forget that, beautiful girl."

I covered the last of the tomato seeds with soil before looking up at her. "Thank you, Grandma Tula, but you act like we're about to leave you and Poppy. I have no intentions of going back to Decatur willingly," I replied.

"Poppy and I love you, but you may not have a choice."

At her admittance, the patio door opened, and my beautiful mama stepped out onto the porch. She wore her usual big smile. Her now relaxed curls hung past her shoulders, and her curvy figure was draped in a nude and long maxi dress. A white blouse covered her upper body, which tied in the front. She looked timeless as usual.

"Mama! What are you doing back so soon?" I quizzed and removed my dirty gloves.

A blur sped passed me, and it was Clear hauling ass to my mama, her Bibi. Mama scooped her up in her arms and held her tightly. "Clear Bell! How's my little pudding pop doing?"

"I'm good, Bibi. I missed you so much," Clear expressed and kissed her cheek back. Bibi was Swahili for grandma. Grandma Tula already had her name, so it was only right that Mama got to choose her own title, and she chose Bibi.

"Aww, I missed my girls too," Mama voiced and placed Clear back on her feet.

"Not that we're not happy to see you, but what brings you back so soon?" I queried and stood to my feet.

Mama gave me a small smile before looking at Grandma Tula. I turned and looked at her.

"Come on, ladies. Let's take this in the kitchen with a cold glass of blackberry lemonade," Grandma Tula suggested and stood from her lawn chair.

"Okay," I stated skeptically.

We all walked into the house, with Clear gripping my mama's hand and taking a seat on her lap once we made it into the kitchen. Grandma Tula moved around the kitchen, poured glasses of lemonade, and placed an assortment of finger sandwiches in front of us. She was so hospitable and caring. Once we'd all taken a few sips of our drink and bites from our sandwiches, I cleared my throat and looked around.

"Will someone tell me what's going on? I feel like something is wrong?"

Mama nodded and soothingly rubbed Clear's back. "There is, baby. I'm here because Pop Pop is dying. He can pass any day because his heart is too weak to continue. Pop Pop's last wish is to see his Crystal ball's face before he ascends this world."

My tears coursed down my face. I sniffled, and then a full-on sob broke through me. My Pop Pop was about to leave me. I was still pissed that he sent me away, but I never wished him any ill will. He also never mistreated me. He'd love me fully, but their life of crime and prestige came before everybody. I wiped my face and looked at Mama. "What about surgery or a transplant? Does he not have options?"

She shook her head. "No, baby. He's too old and weak for surgery. Sadly, he won't survive it," Mama responded. "He wants you and baby girl to visit him. When he passes away, you have to stay for the will. You're in there, baby girl, just like your brothers. What do you say? Will you and Clear Bell come back with me?"

I exhaled before responding. "I'm not sure, Mama. I love me some Pop Pop, but I ain't been back in four and a half years. Everyone looks at me like I'm the black sheep of the family. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Daddy blamed me for Pop Pop's condition. I don't know, Mama. I'll need a little time to think."

She rubbed the top of my hand soothingly. "Understandable, love. I'll be here for three days. If you decide not to come with me, then I'll give them your regards and send your will gift to you. I won't pressure you at all."

"Thank you for understanding, Mama."

I was lost in thought for the remainder of the day. Pop Pop was more of a father to me than my own daddy. My heart ached just like when I had to leave Bulley. Bulley. Would I see him? What would I say if I did? I shook my head of those thoughts. What we had was over, and I only planned on staying for a few days and then returning. There was no telling the man he was today and if he was single or not. It didn't matter though. I'd lost all the energy to fight with my brothers and Daddy over Bulley. The day went on, and we enjoyed a dinner of Mississippi pot roast, baby mashed potatoes, and a house salad prepared by hand. Grandma Tula had taught me right. Mama stepped out for a minute, so I bathed Clear and then braided her long hair into plaits. Once we'd said our prayers, I tucked her in and then lay next to her.

Her light was off, but her plug-in strobe light lit up her ceiling, with stars, suns, and moons dancing along the walls and ceilings. We always cuddled together before I went into my room for the night. She and I were in a comfortable silence until her little voice filled the room. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, Little Clear?"

"When we go and see Pop Pop, will I be able to see my daddy? You told me he lives where Pop Pop lives."

I was too stunned to speak right away. That was an absolute first. The way she played and lived her life, I didn't think she was interested in meeting him. Clear never said anything until now. However, the question remained: will she be able to see Bulley?

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Little Clear, anything is possible with God by our side. Close your eyes and get some rest."

"Okay, Mommy." She turned on her side and slowly dozed off.

I wiped my tears from my eyes as I looked at the framed photo on her nightstand by the window. It was the picture of Bulley and me at the river. I took a selfie of him holding me from the back. We'd enjoyed a picnic he had planned for us, and it was one of the best dates we'd ever had because we didn't get caught that day. I had that picture stored away with a few other keepsakes I hid in the back of my closet from Daddy and Pop Pop. From the time Clear could talk, I told her all about her daddy. I refused to make up some stupid lie to appease Daddy and Pop Pop. With me, my baby would always find the truth.

I pulled the covers up her small body before quietly exiting her room.

Grandma Tula and Poppy had retreated to their room already, so I decided to lock up and have myself a midnight snack before I went to bed. When I entered the kitchen, I stopped in my tracks when I saw Mama and Antonio kissing on the back patio. Well, well, well. This explained why she didn't give a damn about what Daddy had going on. That fine-ass Italian man had her full attention. I smirked, removing a saucer and raspberry fruit tart from the refrigerator and enjoying it at the table. Minutes later, Mama entered the kitchen with a girlish smile on her face when she saw me. She placed a curl behind her ear and joined me at the table.

Seconds went by before I swallowed and licked my fork. "So, I take it this has been going on for a while."

She nodded. "Yeah, baby girl. I'd noticed him, but it wasn't until the second year of your living here that we took things to the next level. He's kind, easygoing, and a hardworking man. Antonio understands the situation I'm in, and he's biding his time until I leave your father."

My eyes bulged. "You plan to leave Daddy."

"Yeah, baby. I can't take any more of that crime lifestyle. I'm tired of packing heat just in case something pops off. I've been over his cheating and lies. He spends more time at the Wet Cat than with me. I deserve better, and I've been making preparations for my exit. No amount of money or therapy can keep me with him. I'm disgusted by him. I can't even sleep next to him, let alone fuck him. Antonio is a real man, and he's equipped with everything to make me happy. Please don't judge me or be disappointed in me. I'm ready for a quieter and peaceful life," she expressed and wiped her eyes.

I reached across the table and grabbed onto her hand. "Mama, you are a strong and kind woman, and you deserve to live a soft girl life. It is not too late. If Antonio makes you happy, then go and be happy. After listening to your truth, I've decided to see Pop Pop and close up a few loose ends of my own, and then I'm coming back here. I want nothing to do with that lifestyle or that compound. My life is here in Arizona now, and soon yours will be too."

"Yes, it will," she agreed.

We held hands and stared into each other's eyes. I loved seeing my mama so happy and full of life again. She gave me hope. Maybe there was somebody out there for me. I wouldn't rush it, though. I wanted it to happen as naturally as possible, just like it did when I first met Bulley.