Bullet (BLP Motorcycle Clubs #1)

5. Crystal

It felt so weird being back at the mansion and in my old room. If it weren't for Mama, I wouldn't even be here. I didn't want to be. I'd booked a hotel for Clear and me, but she wouldn't hear of it. Pop Pop and Dad had never met Clear, and neither had my brothers. They'd seen the pictures Mama showed them but had no face-to-face time with her. I was the black sheep, and she was the mixed breed of the family. She shared blood with their opps. I would stand for nobody treating her like an outcast, so I kept her away from them. Now, I had no choice but to bring her around them. Clear was in awe of how big the compound was when we first arrived, so I promised to give her a tour. I wasn't sure how any of them would act, but the first sign of bullshit, and we were out of here and back on a plane to Arizona.

"Are you ready for the tour, big girl?"

"Yes, Mama," she replied, dropping her tablet on my bed. She grabbed her favorite doll and then stood from the bed.

"Alright. Let's go." We exited my room and walked down the winding staircase. We were about to head out the front door when someone called my name.

"Crystal?"

I turned to see my brothers, Black, Marshawn, and Tyrese. They entered the foyer with hella shopping bags in their hands.

"Hey, y'all. Nice to see your faces. It's been a while," I voiced in a nervous tone. I nibbled on my lower lip and held onto Clear's hand a little tighter.

Black was the oldest. He placed his bags on the floor and took a few steps toward us. I placed Clear behind me, and he remained in place.

"Little sis, you ain't gotta do that. We ain't gon' hurt you or our niece. I know there's a lot of issues and time between us, but we wanna be in your life and hers. Can we meet our niece, please?" he pleaded.

I wiped away my tears and nodded. "Yeah. I'll like that very much."

"Thank you." Black walked closer and grabbed me in a tight hug. "I missed you, little sis."

"I missed you guys, too," I stated, enjoying the feel of my brother's arms again. We squeezed each other a little tighter before we separated.

Black lowered and smiled. "Hey, Clear Bell. I'm your Uncle Black. Behind me are your other uncles, Marshawn, and Tyrese. We're your mama's big brothers, and in all those bags over there are gifts for you."

Clear peeked around my leg and smiled. "I like gifts, Uncle Black."

He chuckled. "Most girls do. Would you like to see your gifts?"

"Yes."

"Cool. If it's okay with you, Clear Bell, can I have a hug?"

"Yes, Uncle Black." She walked around me and into his large spread arms.

Black closed his eyes and held her little body for a few minutes. He smiled and stood, then carried her over to her other uncles. Tyrese was the first to reach for her. I smiled as she giggled while he tickled her. Marshawn kissed her cheek and then held her tightly for a few minutes. He was the lover boy out of them. He held her as we all transitioned into the living room. I took a seat and watched as Clear happily opened up all the gifts they'd gotten her — new clothes, shoes, electronics, stuffies, and more dolls as if she weren't in doll heaven already. It didn't matter, though, as long as she was happy.

Once Clear had opened all of her gifts, we all decided to give her a tour of the compound.

Clear sat on top of Tyrese's shoulders as we walked the path of the grounds. They pointed out places we hid at as kids, our favorite fruit trees, and trees we used to climb, and their houses. I laughed and chimed in when it was necessary. Laughing helped to keep from crying. I missed them more than I led myself to believe. We were always close. Things changed when I brought Bullet into our lives. That was a decision I still didn't regret. I still loved him. Regardless of how far or close we were, my love for him had never changed. I was still on the fence about Clear meeting him, but they had to. It was terrible already that she was four, and he didn't know she existed. In my defense, I had no way of reaching out because Pop Pop had taken my phone and gotten me a new one before I left.

There was no telling what he'd done with it, but I'm glad there was a passcode because there were pictures and videos of us being real nasty. My clit pulsed at the way Bullet used to suck me bone dry from the front and back. I hadn't been touched by a man since the last time he touched me. If a man breathed on me too hard, I might just cum.

The sound of Marshawn's voice filled my ears, and I snapped out of my thoughts.

"We gotta cut our tour short. Mama just called Black and said we need to get to the hospital. Something is going on with Pop Pop," he expressed.

"Okay," I softly replied. That was the only word I could muster.

My stomach dropped to my ass, and fear filled me faster than water in a pot. Would this be our final goodbye? I grabbed onto Clear as we were swiftly ushered inside the SUV. The vehicles took off, and we headed to the hospital.

Nothing had changed in Decatur. The old town still looked the same. We had your typical storefronts, schools, entertainment district, and medical district like any other small town. It wasn't a lot here, but it was enough to keep everyone entertained. Minutes later, we pulled up to the entrance, and a few of our guards helped Clear and me out and then rushed us inside the hospital.

I wasn't fond of hospitals, but I had to deal with it. We scampered through the sea of medical staff in the hallway. Loud steps could be heard behind us. I tried to look, but we moved too fast. Eric, the guard, hit the elevator, and it immediately opened. We climbed on with my heart still beating like crazy. The doors were nearly closed when the body of a big man could be seen in the small opening. He slapped the doors when they closed, and I heard him cuss. I didn't get a good look at him, but it felt like he was my Bullet. No, that couldn't have been him. What would he be doing here?

The elevator dinged, and we stepped off onto the floor of the private wing. With every step I took toward Pop Pop's room, my steps seemed amplified in my ears. Even my heartbeat sounded as if someone played it through a speaker. Why was I so scared? I was raised by my Pop Pop.

If I had to be honest with myself, it was all about saying goodbye. I thought I still had more time with him even though he was in his eighties. As a little girl, he seemed so invincible to me. Now, as an adult, I saw he was just a man.

We turned the corner and entered his room. Daddy sat by his bed, but he stood when he saw us. His eyes immediately went to Clear. I picked her up and held her close to me. If he tried anything, I was going to wipe the floor with his ass. We eased over to Pop Pop, and he gave us the biggest smile he could muster. He looked so little, frail. His dark skin seemed a little lighter, and he was now bald. It looked as if a child had taken the place of the once big man.

"Look what the cat done dragged in. My girls are here. Nice to see you, Crystal Ball. This little one here must be Clear Bell," Pop Pop expressed in a small voice.

I kissed his forehead and cheek. "It's nice to see you as well, Pop Pop. This is Little Clear, my little angel. Little Clear, say hello to your great grand Pop Pop."

Her head popped up from my shoulder, and she smiled. "Hi, Pop Pop. Look what Uncle Black got me." She showed him her new doll who she'd named Zoey.

"She's pretty, just like you. Can your old Pop Pop have a hug?"

"Yes," she softly replied. I lowered the rail on his bed, then gently placed Clear next to him. He kissed the top of her head multiple times before he squeezed her as tight as he could. Pop Pop was weak, so it was barely a hug. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. When I wiped them away, his frail hand grabbed onto mine, and he kissed it.

"Thank you for coming. I know I don't deserve your kindness and love after the way I shipped you off, and for that, I'm sorry. I really am, Crystal Ball."

"It's alright, Pop Pop."

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have allowed my ego to interfere with our relationship. You come before money and business. I know it means nothing now because, at any moment, my number is up."

I kissed his hand before I wiped my own tears away. "Pop Pop, no worries. It's all water under the bridge now. All that matters right now is you."

"You forgave him so easily. What about me?" Daddy quizzed from his place on the other side of the bed. "Are you gonna introduce me to my granddaughter?"

My eyes snapped to him. "Don't do that, Daddy. Please don't make it seem like you care about me or her. The point of the matter is, I came here for Pop Pop, not you."

"Damn. Not my own daughter talkin' to me like I ain't shit. Like I'm not the nigga who gave you life."

"That's all you did! You didn't love me, care for me, or protect me like you should've. I'm the bane of your existence, remember. You hate you had me, remember?"

"I made a mistake. Why can't you let it go and forgive me?"

"It ain't that easy, nigga!" I spat with my chest. I mugged him, and he mugged me back.

"Time out! That's enough, got dammit," Mama interjected from behind me with my brothers behind her. "Melvin, I didn't bring Crystal back so that you can chastise her like she's a child."

"Well, she's acting like it!"

"Mommy, I'm scared," Clear cried and reached for me.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry, baby boo." I scooped her up and cradled her to my chest. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled in front of you." She cried on my chest, and I rubbed her back soothingly. "I'm sorry y'all. This was a mistake. We're not leaving, just going to a hotel. Clear is not used to arguing and fighting."

"I don't care. You ain't been here a day, and already you got shit going. Take that little mutt of yours and leave. I didn't ask you to come!" Daddy hollered.

"Bitch!" Before I knew it, I handed Clear off to Marshawn and grabbed Pop Pop's tin bathroom basin. With lightning speed, I ran over to his side and beat his ass with that pan. I popped him across his jaw, and his head snapped to the side. Them licks kept coming across his jaw, his head, and his chin until my brothers pulled me off him. "You talk to them hos like that you've been entertaining. My child was brought here with real love. Something your heartless ass will know nothing about. I'm done with you. I no longer give a damn what happens to you. I don't have a father! Let me go!" I walked past my brothers and grabbed Clear, and then we left. "Bitch ass nigga."

"Mm. Mommy, this mac and cheese is good," Clear sang with her face covered in cheese sauce.

My mama swallowed and laughed. "Our big girl knows good food."

"Yes, she does. I'm glad you like it, Little Clear. This used to be my favorite restaurant when I was your age, and now."

We were at Luke's Place, my favorite Southern cuisine restaurant. No other restaurant made soul food like them. You could taste the love in every spoonful. The place was crowded per usual, and the laughter from a group of businessmen's tables overreached our seats. I only looked over there briefly. They appeared to be in some kind of business meeting, but they ordered food and drinks from left to right. They weren't the only ones having a time.

I looked at my Little Clear, and she danced in her seat after every bite. Clear had small portions of mac and cheese, cornbread, yams, and chicken nuggets. My baby was not a picky eater. She didn't play about food. I laughed to myself because she got it from me. Food and I went together real bad.

After the incident with Daddy two days ago, Clear and I stayed at one of the best hotels in Decatur. I couldn't be in the vicinity of him, let alone in the same house. I blacked out when he called my baby a mutt. Clear had never seen me crash out like that before. It probably won't be the last time, but it won't be anytime soon. When it came to her well-being, I'd crash out every damn time. Clear was the sweetest little girl and deserved to be treated with respect and love like the next child.

My mama's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "I've been cleaning and packing up your Pop Pop's things lately. I would like it if you came by to help me. He has a lot of old journals and ledgers from generations that you can look at to get a better sense of who he was. There are a ton of old family albums as well. Don't worry about your father. He'll be out and staying clear until we're done. What do you say?"

I nodded, then swallowed. "If he won't be around, then count us in. That man still got me hot. Let me order a little something to take the edge off."

"Me too," Mama agreed.

We laughed as we looked over the drink menu. I was surely a wine girlie. Grandma Tula and I had shared many bottles together. I couldn't wait to get back to them.

My eyes traveled over the wine list, then over to the bourbon list. I paused when I saw an asterisk by a new bourbon called Crystal Bullet. My fingers shakily rubbed over the words. Was this a drink named after me and my love?

"Mama?"

"Yeah, honey?" She didn't look at me while she looked over her drink menu.

"What's Crystal Bullet Bourbon?"

This time, she looked up at me with a small smile. "If it's what you're thinking, then it's true. Yes, Bullet created a bourbon and named it after you."

"No way," I declared, looking down at the menu. "This is beautiful news. I knew deep down he loved me. After all this time, I see nothing has changed. This is unbelievable. I'm about to order one for myself."

"Order me one too. I have yet to try it, but I've been meaning to." We laughed like schoolgirls as I signaled for our server. I ordered two Crystal Bullets with a light orange twist. Minutes later, our drinks arrived while I cleaned Clear's mouth. My mouth watered to taste the brown liquor with a twist. Once I was done, mama and I toasted before sipping our drink. Oh, my goodness. It was so good and smooth. The light touch of orange zest was perfect. I never knew he had a passion for making bourbon. Was it a hobby or just something he'd done to take his mind off my absence? I'd take bourbon-making any day over marrying a woman that wasn't me.

The laughter from the businessmen traveled to us as they rose from their seats. I gave them a glimpse, then went back to my drink. Every sip was better than the one before. The footsteps from the men pulled me from staring at my drink and into the russet brown eyes of the boy I once loved, like the air I breathed. He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes looked at me, then at Clear. His root beer complexion was partly covered by a full and thick beard that connected evenly to his tapered, wavy fade. I still had a good view of his full lips, which incited my heartbeat to pick up. My Bulley was still youthful, yet there was an air of maturity around him from the suit he wore and the way he carried himself.

His busy eyes looked back at me, then to his friends. "Gentlemen, I'll see you all in a few days, like we planned. Right now, there's a personal matter I need to attend to," he expressed, looking into each of their eyes like the man he was.

My eyes roamed over how his big body filled out his all-black business suit. Bulley was definitely bigger, but he also looked more rugged. Heartache would change you like that. I knew all too well. His business associates or clients agreed before walking away.

He turned and looked at us. "Crystal? What's going on right now?" He stepped next to Clear, and she looked up with a big smile on her face.

"Daddy!" she cheered.

His eyes instantly went to her, and his large and tatted hand wiped down his bearded face. He shook his hands out to his side, then lowered himself in front of Clear. Bulley's eyes roamed every inch of her before he looked back at me. "Is she my daughter?"

I nodded. "Yes. Bullet, this is Clear Views Clips, your daughter. Little Clear, this is your daddy."

She beamed in her seat. "Daddy. I knew it."

Bulley stood and pulled Clear into his arms. He cradled her to his broad chest and held her with his eyes closed. I looked on with tears brimming in my eyes as he soothingly rubbed her curls and then her back. Bulley opened his eyes, and I pulled back her chair for him to sit down in. He took the seat and showered her face with kisses, making her laugh and wiggle in his lap. After a few minutes, he gave her a break and then gazed at me. His large hand reached up and cradled my face, his thumb softly caressing my cheek.

"Hey, angel. Before I bombard you with questions, I want you to know that I still think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." He nodded, and tears spilled down my cheeks. The warmth from his hand and words of affirmation still provided the security and love I craved only from him.

"Thank you, my love. You look amazing yourself."

He snickered. "It's only for work."

Mama cleared her voice. "You all clearly need to talk. I'll give you two the space you need. Baby girl, I got dinner."

"No, ma'am. I got it. Have a good evening, Mrs. Views," Bulley stated with a small grin. Clear tugged at his big beard while she laid in his arms.

"Alright, son. It's nice to see you again, Bullet. Take care of my girls," Mama replied.

"I got them forever." He looked at me, and I blushed. I knew he meant every word he said.

Mama smiled. "I know it." She grabbed her purse and light jacket and then left the restaurant. I knew she anticipated all the tea later on.

"Angel?"

I looked at him. "Yes."

"We've never had the type of relationship where we screamed and cussed at each other, and I won't start now. Tell me what I need to know."

I exhaled, then nodded. "You're right, love. Here's the truth. The day I left you at the river, my Pop Pop had me sent to Arizona, where my mama's parents lived. He took my phone and gave me a new one. He and Daddy completely caught me off guard. When I made it to Arizona, I had no idea I was pregnant until a month into my stay. My doctors told me I was three months pregnant. With my family stripping me of everything, I had no way to contact you. There was a lot I had to endure on my own. I grew quicker than I expected. Trust me when I say I miss you every day. However, the moment Clear could talk, I told her who you were. I had a few keepsakes I was able to bring with me, so I put them in her room so she could see her daddy every day. I'm so sorry, Bulley. This was out of my control. Had there been any way I could contact you before I left, you know I would've taken the chance to."

He released a deep sigh and looked down at Clear. Just that fast, she had fallen asleep in his large arms. She was so little, but she already knew where home was outside of me. Bulley gazed at her while he spoke.

"I missed out on a lot. Running midnight snack errands for you, rubbing your stomach, witnessing her birth and first steps. I would've loved to experience each of those events. You must know that I hate your father and grandpa with a passion. They kept me away from my love and daughter, and that type of thing is unforgivable. I could really cause havoc right now, but for the sake of Clear, I'm going to try to be civilized."

"You have every right to feel the way you do. This was my family's first time meeting Clear outside of my mama. She's been there the whole time. My brothers and Pop Pop love her, but not Daddy. He sees her as a mutt."

Bulley raised his hand. "Don't. Don't tell me anymore. I'm subject to blowing your daddy's brains out tonight. I tolerate him playing in my face, but not hers or yours. He will have to see me soon, but right now, I'll start a war, and that's bad for business, so I'll move on. Tell me about my baby girl. I wanna know everything."

I smiled. "Trust me, I get it. Clear is everything and more. She was born on January 17 th , 2021. Her favorite color is anything rainbow. She loves to help us bake, garden, and create." I chortled, thinking about the wonderful person we brought into this world. "She's so active and rowdy, and pre-k works her nerves already. I love that she's not a picky eater or complains about her food touching. Her appetite is hearty, and she's such a foodie. Baby girl speaks her mind and moves to the beat of her own drum."

Bulley snickered as he looked up from Clear and at me. "She sounds exactly like the girl I fell in love with. Thank you for sharing. I got it all locked in here." He pointed to his head. "Now tell me about you. Are you single? Married? How's life in Arizona for you?"

I blushed and sipped some of my bourbon. "Life for me in Arizona is slow yet peaceful. It lacks the adventure, fire, and desire I had with you here. There's peace and quiet and chasing after our child, but it would be nice to have a little more. That little more is you. I'm very much single because the only man I love and want to touch my body is you. I love the life and routine I've established with Clear and my grandparents. However, it would be lovely if you were a part of it. What about you? How have you been? Tell me about Crystal Bullet Bourbon?" I gave the glass a little shake before I tossed back the rest.

"First, tell me what you think about it?"

"It's delicious. Smooth, no burning, and the orange zest or essence is the perfect addition. You did your big one, love."

"Thank you, angel. I really appreciate that. You were the inspiration behind the drink. I needed something more to do to take my mind off how bad my heart ached for you. It still does. For now, my bourbon is local, but the dream is to go national with it. However, my focus will be on you and my little sweetheart. I'm single because no other woman will ever be able to fill your shoes. I still love you, Crystal. That has never changed and will never change. Yes, we've been separated for over four years, but God saw fit to bring us back together. You are my heart, girl, and I'm not letting you go twice."

"Baby, we can't. You know my father will never rest if we're together. Plus, we live in two different states. I don't know if we can do the long-distance thing."

Bulley kissed my hand, quieting me and my busy mind. "I have never led you astray, and I don't plan to now. We will be together. I'll follow you and Clear back home. I have no intention of being separated from my girls ever again. You chill and let me handle this. I've had things lined up for this moment for years now."

"You mean that?" I softly asked.

"Hell yeah, I do. No more separation. We're going to bring our family up the right way. If our parents got a chance to raise us, then we're going to raise our Clear Bear the same way. Now tell me, how much should I wire you for baby girl? How's a million?" I shook my head no. "No, you're right. She's four now, so four million."

"I shook my head, meaning no, nothing. Clear, and I have more money than we know what to do with already," I responded.

"Then you'll have more. There ain't a chance in hell that I won't provide for my daughter. Get used to it, angel. I'm back in the picture, and I got y'all covered. Tell me, where y'all staying?"

"In a hotel downtown. I can't stay on the compound knowing Clear is not wanted there."

"Bitch ass nigga. That works out in my favor, though. We'll stop by the hotel to get y'all things, and then I'm taking you two to my place. My home accommodates all three of us, plus I need you in my arms now. What do you say?"

"I'm game, my love."

"Let's roll."

Bullet paid for our meal, and then we walked out of the restaurant with a sleeping Clear in his arms. He helped us inside his SUV, then hauled away with his girls by his side.