7. Crystal
I groaned in my sleep and felt around for my ringing phone. Bulley's big body was still glued to mine, and he made it impossible to grab onto my phone, but I found it. I was tired from helping my mama clean out the storage unit on the compound grounds these past couple of days. My shoulders were sore, and my lower back ached. All I wanted to do was to turn on my side and fall back to sleep, but that seemed impossible. My phone continued to ring because I missed the slide bar. I got it together and focused through my squinted, tired eyes.
"Hello," I voiced in a groggy tone. Mama's tearful voice filled my ears, and I perked up at Pop Pop's name. I sat up abruptly. "Mama, what's wrong?"
Bulley stirred in his sleep before sitting up. "What's wrong, baby?" He kissed the top of my exposed collarbone.
"One second, baby." I focused back on my mama's sobbing voice. They needed me to come to the hospital. It appeared Pop Pop wouldn't make it through the night. "I'll be right there." I ended our call and faced Bulley. "That was my mama. I have to go to the hospital. It looks like Pop Pop won't make it through the night."
"Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Take the truck. I got Clear. Let me know if you need me, and I'll be there."
"Thank you for your support, love. I'll keep you updated." We shared a deep kiss before I swiftly dressed and then rushed out.
My tears kept me company as I drove to the hospital. It was dark out and chilly; my music played low, and all I thought about were the fond memories we shared. Waking up with him every day, sitting on his floor while he held meetings, dinnertime, and family vacations, helped me to see the side of him that his business couldn't. Pop Pop had to be strong and a shark. That's why he'd achieved such greatness. To me, he was just Pop Pop, one of the best grandpas ever. Our issues didn't arise until Bullet and I started to mess around. Even then, though, he wasn't as mean and nasty as my daddy.
I sniffled. This was the hardest loss I know for a fact that I'd ever experienced. I'm grateful I had Bulley in my corner because I was sure there would be murky waters ahead. I turned into the hospital's parking lot and used the meter to prepay for my parking spot. When I was set, I took the elevator into the hospital before switching elevators to his private wing. I walked in, everyone was there, and I was the last one to arrive. My brothers and parents gathered around his bed, and Marshawn and Tyrese made room for me so I could see Pop Pop.
He removed the oxygen mask from his face tiredly, and his chest rose as he took short, quick breaths. "Th-there's, my Cry-Crystal Ball. I-I wish we had mo-more time. I ju-just want you to kn-know I love you, and I'm so-sorry I sent you away. It br-broke my he-heart every day," Pop Pop stammered.
"Shh," I quieted him. "There's no need to apologize. You made the best decision for you all at the time. I hold no grudges. I'm just not ready for you to leave me, Pop Pop. I want to show Clear all the cool things you showed me in life. Can you hold on a little longer to see her grow up, please?" I questioned as I wept. He wasn't gon yet, but to know that he would breathe his last breath any minute killed me.
Pop Pop tried to raise his hand but couldn't, so I raised it for him and placed it on my cheek. He'd always caressed my cheek when I was a little girl. "I'm tired, Cry-Crystal Ball. Yo-Your grandma is ready for me, and I'm rea-ready to see my sw-sweetheart again."
His eyes looked away from me into the corner of the room, and he smiled softly at the wall. There was a faraway look in his eyes. I didn't know if he reminisced on their memories or not. He blinked and slightly nodded before he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His head slowly fell to the side, and he didn't move anymore after that.
"Pop Pop! Pop Pop! Wake up!" I cried and gently shook his shoulder. He didn't move, and I broke down. "No! No! Come back. Come back, Grandpa!" I sobbed harder.
My brothers grabbed me and wrapped me in a tight hug as I mourned one of my favorite people in the world. They guided me over to a seat where Mama and I held each other and watched as his medical team entered the room. They checked his pulse and wrote down the time of his death. I placed my head in my lap and cried. That was all I could do. My heart was broken yet again. How do I heal from here?
A week had passed, and I'd gone through the motions. The only thing I knew for certain throughout my day was that Pop Pop was gone. I sat front-row at his funeral with Clear on my lap and Bulley right behind me. Holding my baby girl gave me the strength I needed to endure this nightmare day. My eyes roamed over his white and gold casket. Pop Pop looked like money as he rested peacefully in his all-white suit. He was dapper from head to toe. His favorite gold Cuban link chain, bracelet, and rings adorned his body. He went out the boss that we all knew him to be.
Bulley's strong hands massaged my shoulders, and I exhaled. I was so glad he was here in this moment. I'd already warned my dad and brothers, and they promised to be cool since it was Pop Pop's funeral. I wasn't worried about Bulley. There was no doubt in my mind that he could take care of himself. It was my family's lives I feared for. My baby was quick with his gun. No one was faster, and seeing that he was on our property, surrounded by my family, his Ruger was strapped to him.
My tears ran down my face as the funeral staff removed his flower arrangement from the closed half of his casket and then lowered the opened part. Pop Pop's handsome face was gone, and it was goodbye as we knew it. Minutes later, we were directed out of the church and into the backseat of our family limousine. Mama, Bulley, Clear, and I rode in one car, and my brothers and my daddy rode in the other limo. I laid on Bulley and sobbed as the scenery of town shifted into tall trees and the cemetery came into view. That was all I could do.
The sky was gloomy, and the misty rain coated the windows. Birds flew past, and I sniffled, trying to pull myself together. It was hard. I loved that man. Mama sniffles filled my ear as she held onto Clear's little hand. She looked at both of us with no real understanding of why we were hurt. One day, she'd understand.
Minutes later, our limo came to a halt, and we were helped out of the car. The cold wind swept by, bringing more misty rain with it, but I felt numb to it. I'm just grateful that Bulley dressed her warmly on this chilly and windy day. We walked up the small hill and down to our family burial plot. All Views were buried here, except me. I loved my family, but if Bulley and I got married, then I wanted to be wherever he was. The rest of our family showed up, and we stood behind the hole that Pop Pop would be lowered in.
My tears continued to fall, and I lifted my shades to wipe my eyes and face. I couldn't wait until today was over. My heart ached, and it felt like it wouldn't stop. The funeral undertaker read one more passage over Pop Pop's casket that brought tears to my eyes. Every word in that passage described Pop Pop to the fullest. Bulley held Clear and firmly gripped my hand, and I sobbed on his arm as they lowered him into the ground. My Pop Pop was gone. Gone, and he would never be back.
The rest of the day moved by, and the repast was in full swing. I talked and mingled with relatives I hadn't seen in years. They were all fascinated with Clear and Bulley as well. My female cousins huddled in circles and conversed about how fine and big he was. I didn't let it get to me, though. They already knew not to play with me.
I looked up at Bulley. "Baby, I'm ready to go."
His brows merged. "Are you sure? I don't want you to rush away from your family during this sad time."
"I'm sure, my love. My eyes and feet hurt, and I just want a bath and to relax."
He leaned down and kissed my lips. "That's a job for me to handle. Come on, let's go." Bulley walked away to get our things as I headed to my old bedroom to get Clear. She was worn out from the day.
When I made it to her, she slept peacefully like a little angel. I placed a sweet kiss on her cheek. I gently nudged her awake, then carried her downstairs. Bulley waited there with our things, and we slipped into our belongings. Mama came and found us, and we hugged her before we left the compound. SZA "Good Days" played in Bulley's SUV and calmed me. I loved SZA, and the song was a pleasant reminder that there were good days to come.
Thirty minutes later, we arrived home.
"Go relax, baby. I've got baby girl."
"Okay, baby. Thank you for sharing the load with me."
"No, thank you is needed, angel. Go rest." I smirked when he kissed my forehead before I walked away.
My tired legs carried me to our room, where I kicked off my shoes and then balled up in his bed. I didn't even take my clothes off. It was shameful behavior. I knew better than to lay in bed with my street clothes on, but my body was too tired. My heavy lids grew heavier, and I drifted off to sleep, praying that Pop Pop's soul made it to heaven.
June
A few weeks had gone by since Pop Pop's funeral. Bulley had planned a beautiful picnic for us three at the river. The sun was out and kissed our skin. He picked up our food and snacks from Doc Brown's just like we used to when we were teenagers. Bulley took Clear down to the slow-flowing stream while I sat on the blanket and read through Great Grandpa Raleigh's journal. Reading his and Pop Pop's words helped me through my grief. I must say it helped. My eyes read over the last passage on the page, so I decided to read out loud.
October 1925
It was cold and rainy, and I was tired. My eyes burned from the tears that I could no longer hold back. Sigman and I had worked hard to secure the loan for our weapons company. It would be the first black-owned weapon company in the North. Our late nights on the railroad had finally paid off. However, the longer I looked at Sigman, the more I wanted to kill him. I could handle the white man's hate but not his betrayal. His betrayal ripped through me again.
"Are you serious right now?"
"Yes!" he spat and snatched his hat off his head.
"I don't understand, Sigman. This is madness! Utter damn madness. When did you have this epiphany of all sudden?" I questioned with my arms folded.
"When I found out I had a son coming. I'm disgusted with myself. I don't want him to be like me. What we did or had was a sin. I don't wanna live my life like this no more. It was fun at first, but reality has set in. We're married with families. Now, let's put this behind us and create an unstoppable company. What do you say?"
I shook my head. "No. No."
"What you mean no?"
"Just like I said, hell no. I don't love my wife the way I love you. I'm in love with you."
"Argh! Shut the hell up. Do you think we can be lovers in this generation we're in? We'll be labeled a couple of sissy boys, bring shame to our families, and probably killed weeks after our announcement. I don't know about you, but I refuse to publicly disgrace my father's name. You shouldn't either, seeing as your father is a Baptist preacher. Raleigh, we gotta move past this."
"I'm sorry, but I can't. I love you too much, Sigman. I'm tired of living undercover."
"Raleigh, this is the 1920s in Decatur, Illinois. You will be undercover until the day you die. I refuse to go down with you."
He walked away from me and over to the table in our workshop. Sigman grabbed one of the black bags of money and tossed it at me.
"What are you doing?"
"That's your share of the money. You earned it. There's no getting through to you. You go start your weapons company, and I'll do the same."
I removed my gun from my waistband and raised it at him. "No, damn way. I'll kill you before I allow you to live without me."
Sigman removed his gun and aimed it at me. "I'm not afraid of you. I will live my life without yo' crazy ass in it."
"We'll just see about that."
I fired my gun twice, but it only hit Sigman in his arm. He howled but quickly shot me in my knee and arm. He was the best damn marksman in Decatur. I fell to my knees and yelled in pain and at him. Sigman grabbed his share of the money and ran away, holding his arm.
"To hell with you! Rot in hell! If you won't be my lover, then you are my enemy for life! The Clips will forever be the Views' mortal enemies!" I angrily spat through my tears.
I covered my mouth in utter disbelief and shock. My eyes widened, and I held my great-grandfather's journal to my chest . What the holy hell? I'd cracked the code. I now knew why we had a family beef with the Clips, but say it wasn't so. Lord, this can't be true. I was flabbergasted. All this drama and fuckin' beef was all because Sigman broke Raleigh's heart. Mama told me that it was Pop Pop's idea that I go through the stuff in the storage container on the campgrounds. I guess he'd already knew the truth, but it died with him. He wanted me to know so I could know the truth as well. I assumed it was his last attempt to make amends with me. This truth was a hard pill to swallow, but all those who'd fault the Views vs. Clips feud for generations would be astonished to know they'd been fighting the broken hearts of gay lovers.
"What's wrong, baby? You good?" Bulley walked up with Clear in his arms. He laid down in front of me and Clear straddled my lap.
"Umm, I'm not sure, baby."
He turned on his stomach and looked at me. "What's wrong, angel?"
I exhaled and closed the journal before looking at him. "I've been reading Raleigh's journal, and I came across a very interesting passage."
Bulley's brows furrowed together as he snacked on brie cheese and a grape. "What did it say?"
"It's about how the feud between our families started."
Bulley sat up and stared at me. "I get the feeling you're about to deliver a blow that's about to gut punch my ass."
I gave an uneasy laugh. "Yeah, well…" My sentence trailed off, and I nibbled on my lower lip.
"Angel, just give it to me straight. You've got me worried over here."
"I'ma hold your hand when I tell you that your great grandpa Sigman and mine, Raleigh, were lovers. They were married with kids on the way, but they were on the down low."
His eyes grew wide as saucers. "Get the fuc— fudge out of here," he stated, correcting himself in front of Clear.
"Nope, love. They were lovers. Sigman wanted to break things off, but Raleigh didn't want to let go. He was willing to risk everything for Sigman, but your great-grandpa was adamant about staying with his wife and raising your grandpa. Sigman gave Raleigh his portion of the money to start his own company, but that wasn't good enough. If Raleigh couldn't have Sigman, then he rather see him dead. He shot Sigman, but Sigman shot him twice and then raced out of their workshop. They both survived but became the biggest enemies and started the greatest feud that has ever graced a small town." I released a deep sigh and looked at him. "How do you feel?"
"Shocked. Stunned. Bewildered. It's crazy. I always knew there was more to the story, but not for a second did them being down-low lovers cross my mind. Do you think we should share the news with our families or bury the truth? Only God knows what drama will arise when they find out." Bulley shook his head and looked into the woods.
"I'm not sure, love. I don't want any more drama to take place, but I do feel like our families deserve the truth. Maybe that journal could bring an end to the feud. I'm so tired of all the hate and fear," I admitted and stroked his hand.
Bulley exhaled. "Well, tonight is surely not the night to reveal any secrets. Tonight is race night, and all the motorcycle clubs, including your brothers, will be out. The last thing we need to do is distract our brothers from the race tonight."
"This is true, but another time, for sure."
"Yes, ma'am, but we think of a plan together."
"I'm on the same page, baby. What do you say we get out of here? We drop Clear off to your parents and get our night started early?"
Bulley laughed before he kissed my lips. "I'm down with that plan. Let's head out, baby."
"Coming, daddy."
I sat perched on Bulley's bike and checked out the race scene. We were all a few towns over and far off from where any police or townspeople visited. There were motorcycles parked along both sides of the road. The lights were up, music blasted, and half-naked women could be seen a mile down. This was the first race I'd been to because I wasn't allowed to come, especially with Bulley. My brothers and dad were against it, but at this point in time, I didn't give a damn about their opinion. I hadn't seen them yet because we'd just arrived, but the moment they started bullshit, we'd finish it.
I yelped when someone grabbed my ass.
Bulley chuckled. "What are you jumpin' for? I'm the only man that should be touching you."
"And you are you, my big Bulley." I grabbed him by his vest and pulled his lips down onto my mouth.
Our tongues sloppily rolled over each other while Bulley gripped my throat. His kisses were potent, fueled by passion and dominance. Before we could get into a good groove, our kiss was interrupted by a deep voice being cleared. We parted and observed his brothers, who stood in front of us.
"What's up?" Bulley quizzed, steppin' in front of me.
"Chill, bro. We ain't on no bullshit. Crystal is good in our book," Woady announced with his hands up in a surrender pose.
"Mine too," Armor voiced.
"Why the sudden change of heart?" Bulley queried.
"Clear!" Crome loudly stated before chuckling. "She was at the house with Mama and Pops the other day, and she's got that nigga wrapped around her finger now. Plus, Mama helped him to see the light. You already know she plays no games about her little Cleary."
Bulley focused back on Armor. "Is that true?"
"Yeah, man. We're good. I don't want to live in any world without any of my brothers, a brother I helped raise at that," Armor responded, then nodded.
"Good, because I don't want to either," Bulley conveyed. He pulled Armor into a tight bro hug, and they clapped each other on the back.
They parted, and Bulley stepped to the side, allowing me to be seen again.
Armor walked up first. "Welcome to the family, Crystal. On behalf of my brothers and me, we apologize for all the drama in the past. Would it be cool if I gave you a hug?"
"Apology accepted. I appreciate it, and yes, you can have a hug." We leaned in to hug, but Bulley quickly interfered.
"Nigga, get yo' ass back. My fragrance is the only male scent my woman needs to inhale. Try again later." Bulley laughed, making all of us chuckle because he was so damn overprotective."
"Yo' ass ain't shit," Armor voiced through his laughter.
Bulley smirked and hunched his broad shoulders. He was the youngest, tallest, and biggest. It was as if he'd hit a growth spurt during our separation, and I wasn't mad at all. Two blanks were fired in the air, and it signaled to us that the race was about to start.
"Looks like you're up first, Armor? Who's the unlucky victim?" I quizzed, making them snicker.
"Your big brother, Black," he replied with a devilish grin.
I gave a low whistle. "I heard he's fast, but then again, that's what I heard."
"Well, you about to find out, lil sis. Come grab a front-row seat. I want you to see this," Armor invited.
Crome, Woady, and Bulley snickered together when he walked away. They apparently knew something I didn't. Bulley grabbed onto my hand and led me to the front of the crowd. I watched as both Black and Armor lined their bikes up at the line. Demetra, also known as Candy Apple, stood her thotty ass in front of them with a red scarf. She had been my arch-enemy since high school. That ho wanted everything I grew up with. Her bitch ass hated me, and the feeling was surely mutual. Our eyes connected, and she smirked at me. That bitch knew something I didn't. Bulley had better not have slept with her dirty ass.
Demetra raised the scarf in the air before quickly lowering it. My brother Black and Armor shot off. However, I was still focused on Demetra. My eyes followed her as she slowly yet sexily walked over to the crowd. When she stopped in front of my dad and placed her nasty mouth on him, I saw red, and I blacked the fuck out. Instead of him trying to make shit work with my mama, he was outside with her ho ass being a ho. They sloppily kissed, and he gripped her ass.
I raced away from Bulley and dashed across the road. Daddy's eyes widened as I ran up and snatched that bitch by long ass weave and to the ground. "Get up, ho! I want you to see this ass whoopin' coming!" I seethed, squaring up.
"Bring it, bitch!" she yelled after she jumped to her feet.
Demetra swung, but I caught her arm. I flipped her over my body and body-slammed her to the ground. That's from years of growing up with three big brothers. She smacked that pavement so damn hard that the crowd groaned for her. I know she thought it was over, but it wasn't. My combat boot stomped her face three good times before I was pulled off her.
"Crystal, what the fuck are you doing?" my dad shouted.
Bulley ran to my side with an ugly mug on his face. I stepped in front of him to prevent him from punching my dad. "No, what the fuck are you doing here with her?"
"That's none of your got damn business. What the hell are you doing out here? This ain't no place for you to be here. Oh, I see. You out here with this bum ass nigga again. As if making the first bastard wasn't enough, you tryin' to make a second one with his ass!" Daddy hollered.
Now, why did he have to go there? Bulley barely nudged me to the side before he uppercut my dad from his place, and he hit the ground. I jumped back and covered my mouth as all hell broke loose. My brothers ran over, and so did his. Marshawn hit Bulley, but it didn't faze him at all. He popped my second oldest brother, and he fell onto the ground next to my dad. Crome and Tyrese threw hands blow for blow.
Two motorcycles rolled up, and I looked up to see Armor and Black. They hopped off their bikes and ran over to us. Both of them worked hard to put space between their brothers. Bulley and his brothers stood side by side, and my brothers did the same after they helped my dad up. I was trapped in the middle again. My dad held his jaw as he aimed his gun at Bulley.
"I'm so tired of yo' punk ass. Ever since you came into my daughter's life, it's been one thing after the other. You've brainwashed her. You stole the Razzi account from me and the storefront bid next to your club. I hate yo' ass, Bulley." He turned and looked at me. "Crystal, you are a fuckin' Views. You get yo' ass over here and stand by your family!" he yelled with spit flying out of his mouth.
"Fuck you, old man. I'll stand by my brothers, but never with you again."
He chuckled. A deep chortle that mimicked a villain's laugh. His ass looked as if he had snapped. "You know, I knew you'd say that, and I'm tired of playing games with you. If you won't stand by your family, then you won't stand next to that nigga's either." My dad turned his gun on me.
"Daddy, no!" I gasped, and my eyes grew big. He fired his gun.
Everything moved in slow motion as heat filled my chest, and I fell down. Pain immediately coursed through my body, and it felt as if I couldn't breathe. I looked down at the blood on my hands, and I grew dizzy. My eyes connected with Bulley, and I watched as he removed his Ruger. He flung his wrist quickly and fired right at my dad before he raced to me. A loud thud hit the ground, and loud screams broke out, and more shots were fired, pulling me from the slow-motion moment I was in.
Bulley's deep voice filled my ears. "Hold on, baby. I got you. Just breathe and stay up. Dammit, Crystal! Open your eyes," Bulley yelled.
I couldn't keep my eyes open. They were too heavy. I smiled between falling in and out of consciousness as my body jostled around as if I was in a car. "Tell Little Clear I love her and you so much." My eyes rolled back, and everything went dark as Bulley screamed my name.