Bully Alpha Daddy (Gold Wolves Black Ops #1)

Prologue - Mira

I took a deep breath, my limbs trembling, my legs feeling almost like jelly as I forced myself to keep walking. With every step, I wavered between keeping going forward and turning on my heels and running in the opposite direction. God, why was I doing this? What the hell was I thinking?

I knew where they would be. They always hung out in the park in the center of town. I had seen them often enough.

Sure enough, when I got there, I found the group with ease. My eyes locked on him immediately, as if my subconscious had sensed him before I registered his presence. He lounged in the center of the cluster, grinning, one arm slung around Reyna’s shoulders.

Everything about Declan seemed effortless. The way his curls fell around his face. The large muscles he seemed to just have without trying. The easy smirk, the piercing gaze. He always looked perfect, no matter where he was or what he was doing.

Growing up, he was my brother Jackson’s best friend. He’d been in and out of our house on a practically daily basis. I didn’t know when I started falling for him, but I had—and hard. I couldn’t keep it hidden anymore.

My heart thundered as my stomach twisted into knots. This was a horrible idea. This was the man who had gone out of his way to pick on me whenever we ran into each other in public. The shifter who made snide comments about my weight whenever I was within earshot. The man who tormented me at the slightest provocation, just because he could. The shifter who would become alpha in a handful of years.

Then I thought about all the other times he had been kind to me. The way he had helped Jackson and me out after our parents died. The small smiles he would give me in private. The times he had brushed against me when he didn’t need to. The way he would talk to me when we were alone if he was waiting for Jackson. All the times, he would offer to help out around the house when he was there, as if wanting an excuse to be near me. He wouldn’t have done those things if he didn’t care a little bit.

He might be brusque or even a bit cruel in public, but that was because he had to be. He was going to be the pack’s next alpha. Of course he would have to keep up appearances around everyone else. But I had seen him in private. I knew the real him, the one who lurked beneath the surface.

If I could get him on his own, if I told him how I really felt when it was just the two of us, I knew he would listen. Knew he would open up and be honest with me. Maybe even admit that he returned my feelings the way I thought he did.

They still hadn’t seen me. I watched as Reyna whispered something in Declan’s ear. He barked out a laugh before his gaze fell on me. He raised an eyebrow.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” he said. He turned to Jackson. “Guess you couldn’t shake your little sis after all. I thought you were a better sneak than that.”

Jackson shrugged. “I can’t help it if she follows me everywhere.”

“You think she would get the hint that no one wants her around at some point,” Declan said as though I wasn’t there. “Guess she isn’t smart enough to see the signs.”

The words were like a knife to the gut. I winced but tried to keep my face stoic even as the insult stung. I glanced over at my brother and watched as he shrugged, not agreeing but not standing up for me, either. I knew better than to expect anything else from him.

Declan was already speaking again. “Why don’t you get out of here, Mira?” he drawled, sounding bored.

For a moment, I almost did. I almost turned on my heels and ran, prepared to pretend none of it had ever happened and throw the entire idea out the window. But I knew if I ran now, I would regret it for the rest of my life, and I couldn’t do that.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at Declan as I said, “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re doing that right now, aren’t you?”

Laughter rippled through the air, and my cheeks heated. I hesitated, feeling the pink cover my face. I was painfully aware of everyone staring at me.

“Um, alone,” I clarified.

Reyna snorted. “Seriously?” she sneered.

I ignored her, keeping my eyes on Declan, hoping that he would listen. I couldn’t say it in front of everyone. If he said no, I would walk the other way and pretend this idea had never crossed my mind.

“Please?” I pressed.

Something about my tone must have registered because he regarded me for a long moment. Finally, he rolled his eyes, again to enormous laughter.

“Fine,” he drawled. “Come on.”

He pushed himself from his spot, then jerked his head toward a nearby alley. Taking a deep breath and willing my limbs to stop trembling, I forced myself to follow after him. The alley was dimly lit, and I was painfully aware of how empty it was. This was what I had wanted, the two of us alone. Only now that it was actually happening, I was terrified. What the hell was I thinking? I froze, my mind spinning as I was fully aware of how idiotic I looked, standing there in silence after asking him to talk.

“What is it?” he asked when the silence had dragged on.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. God, was I really doing this? Why? It was quite possibly one of the dumbest things I could do.

When I continued not to say anything, he glanced in the direction we had come, shifting on his feet as though restless. “Look, Mira, if you’re not going to tell me whatever it is you want to say, then I’m going to leave.”

It was now or never.

“I… think I’m in love with you,” I said, saying the words as quickly as possible, as if saying them faster would make them easier to utter. I dragged my gaze from my shoes to look up at him, just in time to see him blink away his surprise.

“I know it’s dumb, and I know it’s probably not reciprocated,” I babbled. “And trust me, I tried not to fall for you. But I know what you’re like deep down. I know you’re not the bully you pretend to be. And I like the real you.”

Declan stared back at me. His face was stone, giving away nothing. Even his eyes, so dark that they glittered like obsidian, were inscrutable.

I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting: him laughing, him kindly but firmly turning me down, him closing the distance between us so he could pull me into a kiss. But whatever I had anticipated, it wasn’t this uncomfortable silence as he stared at me, mute. Every second the quiet lingered, the more my stomach tightened, and the more I wanted to run for the hills.

I gave a soft, anxious laugh as the silence dragged on. “Please say something,” I begged.

He didn’t. Instead, he spun on his heels and strolled back toward his friends.

Dread settled in my stomach. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, but the fact that he had said nothing told me all I needed to know: he wasn’t interested, and I was an idiot.

I needed to get out of here. The only problem was, the only way out was past the group again. Past him.

My heart sank even as it broke. I wanted to curl into a ball as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks. I took a deep, shaking breath, willing myself to get a grip. He wasn’t interested. I’d known that was a possibility. These things happened. I could deal with the hurt of the rejection later, after I had left. For the time being, I just needed to get out of here with my head held high.

Taking another breath, I steeled myself and forced myself to move past everyone and go home. I might have even managed to do it, if not for what happened next.

Declan had already reached his group by the time I reemerged. As I approached, I could hear the conversation, and my heart began to sink.

“Everything all right?” Jackson asked, glancing between the two of us.

“Oh, yeah, it’s grand,” Declan said, giving him a lazy grin. “Your sister just professed her love for me.”

The world seemed to crash around me at the words. I tried to breathe, but my chest constricted, refusing to let oxygen in. A dull ringing filled my ears as my brain went numb, trying to process what he had just said. Because there’s no way any of this was truly happening. He hadn’t just told everyone.

But raucous, mocking laughter had broken through the ringing sound, and everyone was staring at me with equal parts amusement and derision. I understood with a sinking sensation that I had heard him correctly.

“You’re joking, right?” Reyna jeered.

“Nope. That’s what she said.” Declan glanced over at me, one eyebrow raised. “Isn’t that right, Mira?”

“I…” My throat had turned into a desert, and I couldn’t think of what to say. My mind was blank with terror and embarrassment. God, what had I done?

“Oh my god, look how red she is!” Reyna squealed. “She looks like a tomato.”

More giggling and jeers. Even Declan joined in the fun. His laugh, beautiful and rich and deep, grated in my ears like claws on a chalkboard.

“Sorry, Mira,” he said, his tone indicating he wasn’t sorry in the least. “But it’s never going to happen. I’m way out of your league. Maybe if you lost a little weight, I might consider a one-night stand.”

“More than a little,” Reyna retorted, making a round figure with her hands, causing more peals of laughter.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I wanted to curl into a fetal position. I wanted to run as far away as I could. Instead, all I could do was stay rooted to the spot, everyone’s laughter reverberating in my ears.

How could I have been so stupid? Why had I even thought this was a good idea? Because he’d smiled at me a couple of times in private? Because he’d helped me when no one was around to see it? I knew what he was like in public. I should have known how this would play out. I should have known he didn’t actually like me. That odd spark I had imagined once or twice had been nothing more than my own wishful thinking.

I searched the group for the only potentially friendly face in the crowd: Jackson. My stomach plummeted as I saw him snickering along with his friends. He caught my eye. I tried to plead silently with him, to beg him to help me, to stand up for me.

“C’mon, Declan,” Jackson said, his own smirk playing on his lips. “Give the kid a break.”

“I can’t help it if she wants to blab her feelings to the world,” he said.

I didn’t, though . I only wanted you to know. You’re the one who told everyone, I thought. I wanted to say them, but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.

Tears began to burn in my eyes. I felt one trickle down my cheek even as I stared at Declan, no longer bothering to hide the hurt and betrayal running through me. As he continued regarding me, something flickered in his expression, his smirk faltering for the briefest of moments. Then it was back stronger than before.

My wolf snarled, wanting to let him know just how much pain he had caused by giving it to him in return. Behind the rage, however, I could sense her own hurt, her own heartbreak. She had loved Declan’s wolf the same way I had loved Declan. In a way, her getting rejected was even worse than experiencing it myself. I wanted to tear him to shreds, even as I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do so.

The laughter continued to echo in my head. My entire body trembled as I yearned to run, but my emotions kept me rooted to the spot. My breaths grew ragged as the blood pulsed and rushed into my ears. The only thing I could see was the mocking, horrible smirk on Declan’s face.

I couldn’t take it anymore. My paralysis broke. I spun on my heels and ran as fast as I could, tears stinging and streaking down my face, the lump in my throat swelling. I kept running, painfully aware of my fat jiggling with every step but unwilling to slow down. I wasn’t going to stop until I got home, until I reached some form of safety behind familiar walls.

When I finally got home, I ran to my room and slammed the door shut. I leaned against it, gulping and trying to get a grip as my mind continued to swirl. I kept coming back to one thought: I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take the insults, the cruel jabs, the constant feeling of being alone.

I couldn’t take it anymore, but what else could I do?

I could leave.

The idea cut through the swirling tempest of emotions like a razor-sharp blade, so sharp and clear that I stopped crying. I could just leave. There was nothing stopping me. Mom and Dad were dead, and Jackson… well, Jackson hadn’t even tried to stand up to me, so it was obvious he didn’t give two shits what I did. What was keeping me here besides some bizarre loyalty to a pack who clearly hated me?

The more I thought about it, the more the concept dug its claws into me. I could start over, find a pack who actually liked and accepted me for who I was. I didn’t have to stay here.

Before I had fully cemented the plan, and before I could talk myself out of the crazy idea, I grabbed my suitcase and started throwing my clothes in it. I gathered the few personal belongings I cared about: my laptop, phone, a couple of photos and books. There wasn’t much. The fact that it only took me about thirty minutes to collect all the things I wanted to bring just proved to me that this was the right choice. I had almost no attachments to the pack, no reason to stick around.

I was ready to leave less than an hour after my disastrous encounter with Declan. Before I left, I took the time to scribble a short note to Jackson just so he would know I wasn’t coming back.

I’m leaving the pack for good. Don’t come looking for me. –Mira

I thought about adding more, but I didn’t know what else to say that wouldn’t involve composing an entire essay. Better to leave it short and sweet. I put the paper on the table, placed an apple on top of it to keep it in place, and grabbed my suitcase.

Just as I was about to walk out the front door, I paused, hesitating for the briefest moment. I was uprooting my entire life. Leaving everything I had ever known, all on a whim. Was this really the smartest idea?

Then, Declan’s smirk floated in my vision, and I heard the ghostly echoes of laughter ringing in my ears.

I slammed the door behind me and headed to the car, all qualms completely erased. I was ready to put everything and everyone in the town behind me.

Especially Declan.