Burning Darkness (Who We Are #1)

PROLOGUE

Blair

Three years ago

The world was all about appearances. Money. Power.

On the outside, we appeared to have evolved throughout the years, decades, centuries, acting all civilized and cultured, but on the inside, we remained the same.

Nothing mattered but being on top. You didn’t stay on top by playing nice.

You stayed on top by trampling over others.

My parents had taught me that ever since I was a little girl.

I reminded myself of that as I watched Zach Curtis make his way to his locker.

It didn’t matter that he never did anything wrong to me.

All that mattered was using his pimples, lanky form, washed-out clothes, and trailer-park background as weaknesses against him.

In my world, you were either perfection or you didn’t matter.

I wouldn’t tell a living soul that I didn’t think he had any weakness to begin with.

And I certainly wouldn’t tell anyone I wanted him more than anything else.

“Look at him. Such a waste of space.” Lana twirled a strand of her hair next to me as she watched Zach as well. “I want to barf every time I see him.”

“Is that a hole in his jeans?” Aurora asked from my other side, shifting her attention from her phone to him.

Zach opened his locker, his gaze glued to his books as he put them inside.

Two seniors from the football team sneered at him as they passed by him, and one of them knocked him with his shoulder on purpose.

Zach stumbled, but he managed to catch himself before his face could hit his locker, his slim arms straining with the effort of holding him up. My stomach twisted.

“Watch it, loser,” the senior who bumped into him said, then looked my way. He sent me a kiss and a wink, as though he’d just done me a favor.

I supposed he did because I was to blame for the way people treated Zach.

He’d been invisible before my first confrontation with him about a month into the school year, when he stepped in to defend one girl from me, and I decided to humiliate him in front of everyone present before they could think I was weak.

Within an hour, he’d been labeled as a pariah because I was at the top of the food chain here, and whatever I said went.

It didn’t matter that I was just a freshman and he was a year older than me.

I held power from the moment I stepped foot in this school, courtesy of the name my family built in this town of South Gate.

Lana, who had observed the whole interaction with a smirk on her face, laughed now. “Yeah, that’s a hole,” she replied to Aurora. “I’m pretty sure he has only that one pair.”

He did have only that one pair. I’d know. I’d made it a point to stare at him obsessively whenever no one was looking.

I glanced between them, raising my brow. “What do you expect? His mother is a whore and a junkie. It’s a wonder he’s still attending school.”

Lana twisted her hair over one shoulder. “He’s going to drop out any day now. I’m calling it.”

Aurora chuckled, scrolling through her TikTok feed. “I can see him scrubbing toilets at the local diner. I hate even breathing the same air as him.”

I dug my nails into my palm, imagining them clawing at her face.

Sometimes it was hard for me to control myself and keep my real emotions in check.

I’d known Lana and Aurora since forever because their parents occasionally did business with mine.

I was sure they didn’t like me any more than I liked them, but we all mutually benefited from our friendship, and playing any other role would be social suicide.

I swallowed back my anger and relaxed my hands.

“I don’t know,” Lana said in her unnaturally nasal voice and popped her gum. I hated when she did that. “We all heard he’s the biggest nerd in this school. Maybe he’ll end up at NASA.”

Aurora cackled. “One thing’s for sure—he’ll remain a virgin forever!”

“Yeah, imagine him getting it on with a girl,” Lana said. “I’m sure he wouldn’t be able to find her vagina.”

Just thinking about Zach and sex together sent heat through me. I would be more than glad to be his first. But that would never come true.

“If he can last long enough for that,” I said, flicking a piece of invisible lint from my shoulder. “I’m sure he’d spill before he could even take his pants off.”

“Hopefully not these pants!” Aurora said. “They should be burned.”

Lana smirked at her, pulling a lighter out of her pocket. “Let’s do it. Let’s burn that shit.”

My mask of composure almost slipped away as I looked at her, my jaw hurting from how hard I was clenching it. “You think?” I hoped that didn’t sound as furious as it had to me.

“Shit, you can’t be serious.” Aurora sounded surprised, but she wore a smile on her face. “Though I wouldn’t stop at his pants. That shirt has to go too.”

My hands twitched into fists.

“Why not? Maybe this will finally make him get a hint and leave. Come on. It will be fun.”

“I’m up for it,” Aurora said. “How about you, B?”

I swallowed the bile that had formed in my throat. Everything in me was against this, telling me this wouldn’t end well, but I was the one who started all the shit against him. If I backed down, they would see it as a weakness, and I couldn’t let that happen.

“Let’s do it.”

My legs didn’t feel like mine as we made our way to Zach.

He grabbed some textbooks from the locker and put them in his backpack, then closed the door, looping his backpack over his shoulder.

He started to turn around, but then his gaze landed on the three of us together, and he stopped, going pale.

His eyes darted between us before they settled on me, and my heart jostled in my chest. He had gorgeous dark brown eyes I could get lost in, and I almost made a fool of myself just now by staring too long.

I forced my lips into a smirk, dragging my eyes up and down his body in what was supposed to be a belittling gaze.

“W-What do you want?” he asked me, his voice slightly shaky.

“W-What do you want?” Lana mimicked him with a grimace. “Watch how you talk to us, Curtis.”

“You’re an eyesore. Aren’t you embarrassed to show up here dressed like that?” Aurora scrunched her nose up at him.

He dropped his gaze. “Leave me alone,” he mumbled, trying to pass.

I grinned. “Where do you think you’re going?” I grabbed his arm to stop him and barely resisted the urge to run my fingers across his smooth skin. My throat went dry a little. “Come with us.”

Lana grasped his other arm, and together, we led him to the girls’ locker room.

“What are you doing? Leave me alone. I have to go to my next class.” He yanked against our grip. Even though he was stronger than us, Lana and I somehow managed to keep hold of him, pushing him inside the empty locker room.

Aurora snorted behind us and closed the door, locking it. “Nerd.”

“Your next class can wait.” I released him. He backed away, bumping against one row of lockers.

“W-What do you want from me?” He clenched his trembling hands.

Aurora rolled her eyes, flanking his left side. “Look at him. Such a pussy. Have you pissed yourself yet?”

Lana laughed, taking Zach’s other side. “He will have by the time we’re done with him.”

He met my gaze as I stopped right in front of him, desperation filling his eyes. “Why do you keep doing this to me? I never did anything to you.”

I raised my chin as I gave him a cold look. “Why do you think it’s because you did something to me? Maybe I just can’t stand your presence.”

Hurt flashed over his face, and something crumbled in my chest as his eyes glistened.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he cared what I thought about him.

But that couldn’t be true. I’d bullied him time and again.

I’d humiliated him in all ways possible.

He couldn’t feel anything other than deep disgust and an aversion toward me.

As quickly as it came, that expression was gone, and he looked down his nose at me with an uncharacteristic look of defiance. It reminded me how tall he was and caused me to feel so small in more ways than one.

“If you can’t stand my presence, then why do you always seek me out to hurt me? Why do you look for me even when I try to stay far away from you?”

My chest tightened. Aurora and Lana looked at me, and I felt all the pressure of their scrutiny. It felt like they could see right through me, like they could see I fed on every scrap of attention I could get from Zach, no matter how much he despised me, and anger rushed though me.

I grabbed Zach’s hair, bringing his face down to my level. “Because I enjoy hurting you. Because you deserve nothing more than pain, you worthless piece of scum.” All fucking lies. “Lana, give me your lighter.”

Zach’s eyes widened. “What are you going to do?”

I didn’t respond, furious with myself. Zach was my weakness, and I couldn’t show any sign of weakness. I had to show the world I was on top. If I didn’t, it would swallow me whole.

I released his hair with a shove and yanked the Zippo out of Lana’s proffered hand. “Take off your jeans.”

“Please, don’t do this.”

“Please, don’t do this,” Lana mocked him. “Such a loser.”

“Take them off unless you want me to burn them straight off you.”

His eyes never left mine, and I almost recoiled at the hate I found in them. There was fear too, but the hate prevailed, and everything in me screeched at me to stop this. I didn’t want to see him look at me that way. I didn’t want this.

“The world will swallow you whole if you let it.” My mom’s words rang out in my head. “There’s no goodness. There’s no compassion. There’s just profit and greed. And you better make sure to show no one can mess with you.”

Zach was innocent. He didn’t deserve this.

“What are you waiting for?” Aurora asked me.

“Take off your jeans,” I repeated, looking only at him.

He clenched his jaw. “You’re going to regret this.”

I didn’t know if that was a promise or him just stating a fact, but a shiver ran through me anyway.

He took off his jeans, and I snatched them from him, hoping no one could see my hands were shaking, gritting my teeth against the urge to check out the part of his anatomy I was curious about the most.

“His shirt too,” Aurora said, but this was already going too far. I ignored her.

“We’re doing you a favor, Curtis.” I raised the jeans in the air and bunched them up in my hand. “These jeans are hideous.”

Lana chuckled. “Just his jeans? He’s all hideous.”

Zach’s eyes darted between his jeans and me. I flicked the lighter on and ignited the jeans, watching him flinch, a bead of sweat forming on his temple.

He focused his gaze solely on me, clenching his jaw. “You’re a cunt. I hate you. I hate you so much.”

I didn’t know if it was the insult or how palpable his words felt, but it slashed deep into me, transforming my anger into rage.

“Are you going to make me pay, huh?” I lifted the jeans right to his face, and he jerked back as much as the lockers behind him allowed, but Lana and Aurora didn’t let him get any distance from me. They grabbed his arms to keep him in his place.

His wide gaze darted between them. “What are you doing? Let me go!” He pushed back against them, but they managed to hold him still as I taunted him with the jeans, moving them back and forth close enough to scare him but not close enough for him to catch fire.

But I’d miscalculated because I hadn’t considered him jerking his head from side to side as he strained against Aurora’s and Lana’s hold.

Before I knew it, the fire caught the open collar of his shirt, and from there, everything escalated quickly.

The fire spread to his neck, hair, and face, and all we could do was watch in horror as he screamed, his expression twisted with terror and panic.

My heart pounded too loudly in my ears, clashing with the sound of his screams as Aurora and Lana released him.

He pulled away, trying to escape the fire with his hands frantically tapping it, seconds and seconds passing by.

No, no, no!

I broke out of my paralysis and shrugged off my blazer. I raised it to put out the fire, but then the sprinklers above us activated, and the water poured over us.

The fire stopped as he dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball, and his screams stopped as well. But they would forever continue in my memory. They would live on just like the image of his now burned skin, damaged cruelly by the fire.

By me.

I was the worst. I was a monster.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I wanted to shout it out, make it echo forever.

But no amount of sorries would make this right.

And as he lost consciousness and my chest twisted in fear that he could die, I felt that I would never be able to fix this or get his forgiveness.

And I would never be able to forgive myself.