By His Play

52. Effie

52

EFFIE

I nearly did it. I nearly did what he said.

More than once, I picked up my cell and almost cancelled on Brax.

But then I remembered that it wasn’t actually a date.

I’d lied again.

As planned, I worked late. But I was on tenterhooks the entire time, wondering if Kieran was going to come bursting back through the door to finish off what we started earlier.

“You’re mine.”

“You’re my dirty whore.”

A shudder works its way through me as I hear his words as vividly as if he just whispered them in my ear.

He makes out like he’s being serious when he says things like that.

But he can’t be.

Kieran doesn’t do serious. He doesn’t do relationships.

All he’s ever wanted is a bit of fun to distract him from real life for an hour or two.

It’s just sex talk.

Words that are said in the heat of the moment.

We had a fun weekend together. That was all it was.

Until last night…

What even was last night?

It had been nothing but radio silence from him since I sent him away, and then he turns up and does that?

And then again today...

I drop my head into my heads and groan loudly.

It does little to fix the mess in my head.

We need to talk. That’s what needs to happen.

We need to lay everything out on the table and figure out what we’re both really thinking.

The thought is terrifying. What if it is all in my head? What if it all is nothing more than a bit of fun for him?

I’m not sure I’ll survive hearing those words.

As much as I’m trying not to want more, I can’t help myself.

I spend my nights dreaming about what it was like being with him, and my days wishing he was still in my life.

I miss him more than I thought possible.

My body moves on autopilot as I get ready for our dance class.

I’ve been so excited to attend again, but now, all I feel is dread.

I never should have told Kieran I had a date.

What if he’s downstairs waiting for me?

Waiting for my date?

Not only have I lied to him, but I’ve potentially implicated one of his best friends.

Before I reach for my purse to head out, I grab my cell.

Effie: I screwed up. I told Kieran I have a date tonight.

Brax: Is that your way of asking me out?

A laugh erupts from my throat.

Effie: No, it’s me warning you that he might do something stupid.

Brax: What’s new there?

Brax: I can handle Kieran.

I sigh, irritated that he’s not taking this seriously.

Effie: He didn’t take it well.

Brax: I wouldn’t have expected him to.

I hesitate, unsure how to respond.

Brax: You’re not doing anything wrong. Hold your head high and put on your dancing shoes. See you soon.

“Fuck,” I hiss.

My hopes for him giving me a reason to cancel were futile.

Deep down, I knew they would be, but still.

Stuffing the last of my things into my bag, I throw it over my shoulder before grabbing my purse and heading out.

The whole way to the parking lot, I’m looking over my shoulder.

I wouldn’t put it past Kieran to follow me.

But as I make my way across town, I don’t see any evidence that I’m being tailed. Not that I have any experience with such things.

By the time I park outside the studio, I’m confident that I’m alone, and with a new sense of excitement for tonight, I head inside.

Unlike last Monday, I walk through the building with my head held high, like I belong.

It’s nice.

The lady at the reception desk welcomes me back, and I walk toward the class with the warm fuzzies from being remembered.

No sooner do I step inside, Brax turns to look at me with a wide smile on his face.

Nerves rush through me, and without instruction, my head twists around to look behind me.

You’re not doing anything wrong.

You’re not dating him.

Attending this class together wasn’t even planned.

“Hey,” Brax says, coming over to rescue me from the doorway.

“Hey,” I whisper nervously.

“He’s really got under your skin, huh?” he asks.

My cheeks blaze bright red, knowing just how true his words are.

I duck my head in a pathetic attempt to hide it, but Brax is too observant.

He chuckles.

“Can we not?” I beg as I lower my bag beside his and unzip my hoodie, ready to start.

“You two are a fucking nightmare,” he mutters.

“Hey,” I complain.

“It’s true. You’re like two teenagers who are too scared to ask each other to prom.”

I glare at him. “This situation is a little more serious than that.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I demand before he falls silent.

“We’re so different. He’s…” I wave my hand around as if it explains my thought process. “And I’m…”

“None of that matters,” Brax says softly. “What matters is how you feel.”

I sigh.

“You love him.”

“Well, yeah. He’s my best friend.”

“Let me rephrase,” he says with a teasing eye roll. “You’re in love with him.”

“Okay, everyone. Shall we get started?” I barely hear our teacher as she begins the class. And it’s not until Brax grabs my hand that I become aware I should be doing something.

He pulls me into position, and we begin with our Foxtrot.

It’s fast and energetic, and thankfully, it helps to drag me from my own head.

Am I in love with Kieran?

Brax smiles down at me as if he hasn’t just thrown my world into chaos as he leads our dance.

Releasing a heavy breath, I finally allow myself to let go of everything happening outside this room and just enjoy the moment.

B y the time I walked out of the studio, leaving Brax behind on the phone again, I felt lighter.

I don’t know if it was the exercise or just an hour with a friend, but the weight that was pressing down on my shoulders as I entered the building had lifted.

I was more than grateful.

As I walked to my car, I placed an order at one of my favorite takeout places, and after picking that up just over ten minutes later, I locked myself in my apartment, poured a glass of wine, and enjoyed my meal.

Of course, thoughts of Kieran are never far from my mind. Especially when I look up and find my smeared handprints on my windows.

My stomach knots and heat shoots straight to my clit as I picture us standing there last night.

It’s so vivid.

My small body trembling and desperate as he held me exactly where he wanted me. As he used me exactly as he wanted to.

Desire sits heavy between my thighs as I keep my eyes trained on the exact spot we were in last night.

I’m so lost in my memories that I startle when my cell buzzes next to me.

I give myself a moment to calm down before I reach for it. But the minute I glance at the screen, it all comes crashing back again.

The shock of seeing his name on my screen means I open the message before my brain kicks in.

Kieran: How is your date going?

“Shit,” I hiss, aware that he’ll have seen that I’ve read it.

I didn’t have any intention of continuing with the lie about tonight, but reading a message so quickly when I should be enjoying the company of another man really says it all.

Kieran: You lied to me again, didn’t you?

My heart slams against my ribs as I try to figure out how to respond.

I did. I lied to him. But I had my reasons.

Fear. Fear was my reason.

Before I get a chance to think of anything, he starts typing again.

Kieran: I think we need to talk, don’t you?

His question doesn’t calm my racing heart.

I agree, we do need to talk.

But what if I’m not ready to hear what he has to say?

What if I’m too scared to say the things I want to say?

Effie: Yes.

Kieran: Wow, your date must have really worn you out if that’s all you can say.

Effie: I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. You surprised me.

Kieran: You love it when I do that *smirky emoji*

Effie: Do you have any window cleaner?

Kieran: Why?

Kieran: Oh…send me a picture.

Lifting my cell, I open the camera and zoom in a little.

Heat surges through my veins in a way I’m sure it would if I were sending him a dirty picture. I mean, I am sending him a dirty picture…of my windows.

I can’t help but laugh at how different I am from all the other women he’s been with. I’ve seen some of the pictures they send him, and I can honestly say that not a single one of them has been a window.

Before I talk myself out of it, I hit send and wait.

Kieran: Why didn’t I set up a camera? Do you think one of your neighbors filmed it?

Panic fills me, and I’m on my feet and at the window before I know it.

My eyes scan the buildings before me as my heart pounds and my hands tremble.

They could have all watched me get fucked against a window.

They may have all enjoyed it…

But as I scan the windows, I realize that I don’t see anyone.

Kieran: I’d fucking love to watch that. Would be the best porno I’ve ever seen.

Effie: Stop, please.

Kieran: That’s not what you were saying last night…

Kieran: Or this afternoon…

Kieran: How is your desk? Did you manage to clean up the wet patch?

Effie: You are so gross.

Kieran: I wasn’t the one who made the mess…

Kieran: My fingers still smell like you, though. Makes me hard every time I sniff them.

“Holy shit,” I breathe, my thighs clenching.

Kieran: I’m not doing anything about it though. The next time I come, it’s going to be inside you.

Fuck. He’s good.

Keiran: Where do you want it?

Kieran: Mouth?

Kieran: Pussy?

Kieran: Ass?

Effie: This wasn’t what I meant when I agreed that we should talk.

Kieran: All three? I knew my girl would be up for the challenge.

I squirm, the pulsating between my thighs increasing before I spin around to sit back on the couch; only, my legs take me in a very different direction. I need a distraction before Kieran has me doing things I’ll regret.

Like video calling him…

Effie: You’re a nightmare.

Effie: When are you free?

Kieran: Right fucking now. Where do you want me?

Effie: After work tomorrow?

Talking in person is dangerous. The last few times we’ve been in the same room, we’ve either ended up shouting at each other or fucking. But I figure if I book us a table somewhere, we’re safe.

Kieran: I’m out of town tomorrow and Wednesday. Thursday?

Effie: I’m busy Thursday.

Kieran: Another date?

Effie: Something like that. Friday?

Kieran: You got it.

Effie: Okay. I’ll book something and let you know.

Kieran: Perfect. Now back to me coming inside you…

Effie: We’re not talking about that.

I shake my head as I put my cell on the counter and begin removing my makeup.

Kieran: I’m sorry I left without a word last night.

My eyes widen as his apology crashes over me.

Kieran: But I need you to know that it was one of the hottest nights of my life.

Fuck. “Me too.”

Effie: And you’ve had a lot of hot nights…

Kieran: None of them stand up to the time I’ve spent with you.

“Oh my god.”

I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to see exactly what he sees.

Without my makeup, my eyes don’t look as big or as bright, and the freckles I’ve always hated over my nose are obvious. My lips aren’t thin, but if you compare them to the perfectly filled ones of the models and actresses he usually spends time with, they don’t stand up. My skin is clear, probably one of my best features. My hair has been scraped back for dancing, but it’s long with a slight curl. It’s not shining and platinum, though. It’s…a kind of dirty blonde that I’m sure many women wouldn’t put up with.

Sure, I’ve always been a little envious of the women he spends time with; they’re all incredibly beautiful. But I’ve never compared myself like this before.

I’ve always been Kieran’s best friend. I didn’t need to compare to them.

I was never going to be the one he was going to take home.

But now…now he’s saying things like that to me and…I don’t know what to think.

Kieran: Stop freaking out.

Effie: I’m not. I’m in the middle of something.

Kieran: Oh?

Effie: We’ll talk Friday. I hope camp goes well.

Putting my cell on “do not disturb,” I strip out of my athletic clothes and slip into the shower, the things he’s said to me tonight spinning around my head.

“None of them stand up to the time I’ve spent with you.”

If he doesn’t mean that, it’s going to crush me.