41. Chapter Forty-one
Chapter Forty-one
Shira
I stroked the soft curve of my son’s cheek as he suckled at my breast. Dimly, I was aware my entire body was one giant ache, but the one I felt most acutely was in my chest. A sweet, unbearable pressure, as if my heart had grown too large to be contained, pressing against its bony cage.
Breathlessly in love, I surveyed his miniature features.
“I don’t know who he looks like,” I whispered to Roman, who was attached to my side, an anchor in the new world we’d been launched into together.
“Maybe some of both of us,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. He dragged a blunt fingertip along Jonah’s cheek, ending at the cleft in his chin. “This is all me, though.”
Hearing his father, Jonah's mouth stilled, and he unlatched with a small, wet pop. His heavy-lidded eyes rolled around a bit before fluttering closed. Drops of colostrum dotted his pink rosebud lips. After he’d been cleaned up and examined, a nurse had brought him to me, and he’d latched on hungrily, nursing for nearly an hour. That meant Roman hadn’t gotten to hold him yet.
“It’s your turn.” I offered Jonah to his father. “Take him, honey.”
Jonah was a big baby, even bigger than predicted at nine and a half pounds and twenty-two inches, but when Roman took him and tucked him against his chest, he looked tiny.
Roman’s watery eyes met mine as he grinned from ear to ear. “My boy.” He rubbed his cheek against Jonah’s head, covered in a blue-striped cap, and sighed the kind of sigh only a man meeting his child for the first time could make. “He feels so fucking good.”
His raw, unfiltered awe knocked the breath from my lungs. Fumbling for my phone, I took a picture of the two of them together, needing to capture this moment, though I knew I’d never forget it.
Roman eased into the chair next to my bed and held Jonah in front of him, scanning his swaddled body and little round face with reverence. Then, with a low chuckle, he lifted Jonah higher and rubbed noses with him, his tears finally breaking free.
“Heeyyy, Jonah,” he whispered, his voice thick and shaky.
I didn’t think I could possibly cry more, but seeing Roman look at the son I’d given him with unrestrained devotion sent me over the edge. These tears were mixed with laughter though, a release of joy the likes I’d never known. Unbound by the past, happiness that was free and clear and mine. Like Terry had told me, I grasped it with both hands and claimed it as my own.
“You look good together,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat.
Roman’s eyes found mine again, the same adoration he’d given Jonah now aimed squarely at me. “How is this possible?”
I pressed my lips together to hold back another sob. “I don’t know, but it is. He’s ours, honey.”
He brought Jonah to his chest again, then his head fell back against the chair, his breath hitching. “How could anyone ever walk away from this?”
“You and I will never understand,” I vowed with conviction. Just as we would never understand how a parent could hurt their child. We didn’t have that in us, and I was glad we couldn’t wrap our minds around it. No matter what, Jonah would be safe with his parents.
“I love you, Roman.”
He gave me a watery smile. “Love you the most, Goldie.”
I took another picture of them and sent it to his brothers, Bea, and Clara, who were waiting with bated breath to hear news. Their replies were immediate—excited, overjoyed, flipping out—but they didn’t ask to come to the hospital, and I loved them for that. This time was ours to adjust to becoming a family of three.
For the next twenty-four hours, Jonah rotated between sleeping, nursing, and pooping, while Roman and I drifted through an exhausted haze of love and disbelief. Our smiles were constant, goofy things that appeared without warning for no reason other than we were deliriously happy.
Sooner than I expected, but not too soon, we were sent home.
Ben was waiting for us when we arrived, sweeping the door open to let us in. He planted a kiss on my cheek first, then gave me a big bear hug.
Pulling back, he ruffled my hair and grinned. “You’re a mom!”
I laughed, giving his solid arm a shove. “You’re an uncle!”
Ben rocked back on his heels, a pleased flush rising on his cheeks. “Wow. That’s right. Cool as hell, huh?”
I returned his grin. “I’m pretty happy about it.”
Roman put down Jonah’s car seat, and the brothers embraced, slapping each other’s backs and holding on tight. Ben murmured something in Roman’s ear, and Roman nodded, swiping at his watery eyes. “Hell yes, I am.”
Mary swirled around my ankles, drawing my attention. “Rrreowww,” she greeted.
“Hello, my little love.” I was finally able to bend down to pick her up. “You have a new brother, Mary. He doesn’t do much yet, but soon, he’ll be your best friend.”
She placed her paws on my chest, tilted her head as she examined me, then settled in. My stomach had shrunk a lot already, but there was still a perch for her to sit on for now.
Once Jonah was out of his car seat and Ben had scrubbed his hands under Roman’s supervision, he let him hold his nephew. Ben stared down at the little sleeping bundle, his look of wonder echoing the ones Roman and I had been wearing since yesterday.
“Hey, buddy. It’s your favorite uncle, Benny.” Ben sniffed, squeezing his eyes tight. “You might get confused because your daddy and I have the same face, but here’s a hint, I’m the more handsome one. Plus, I’m a lot cooler.”
Roman groaned, but his smile matched mine. Ben was just the first in a long list of people who were going to love this boy simply because he was ours. How lucky was he? He would never know anything else.
Ben continued his conversation with Jonah. “But you’re going to love your daddy the most anyway. Take it from me; he’ll love you no matter what you do. You might make some dumb mistakes, but he’s gonna have your back, little man. And your mom, don’t even get me started. That woman carried you around in her body. Do you know how small she is? But she never complained because she loved you from the very start. What a great life you’re going to have, pal. I can’t wait to be a part of it.”
Roman put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Love you,” he said gruffly.
Ben grinned at Roman then me, his eyes glassy and bright. “I thought newborns were supposed to be small. This baby feels like a brick house.”
Weightless laughter floated out of me. “Well, he’s a Wells boy.”
“I thought maybe you’d balance his genes out.” Ben shook his head, snuggling Jonah closer. “This combination of the two of you works just right, though. I like this kid a lot already, and he hasn’t even bothered to open his eyes to greet me.”
“We like him too,” I agreed.
More Wells brothers arrived soon after, all equally enamored with their new nephew. Even Adrian, who was always so contained, shed a tear. Just one, and he wiped it away quickly, giving me a sheepish little smile when he saw me noticing.
Bea and Clara stopped by too. They didn’t stay long, bringing us food, giving us both hugs and holding our son for a minute or two. Bea promised she was just a call away if we needed time off, even if it was the middle of the night, and on her way out, Clara took my hand.
“You’re in the bliss stage now, but if you get the blues and need someone to talk to, I know what it’s like. Don’t hold it in, okay?”
I promised her I wouldn’t, and I truly meant it. Clara had been my friend for years, cracking through my ice queen reputation and finding the real me. If I needed her, I would go to her, no questions asked.
Finally, we were down to the three of us again. Exhausted, we trudged upstairs. Mary wandered into our bedroom for a moment, heard Jonah crying, and took off for a quieter spot. Fortunately, Roman had bought her multiple beds. He’d claimed he didn’t want her on his furniture, but we both knew he liked spoiling her. Mary had her choice of places to sleep in this house, and as long as my girl was comfortable, I didn’t mind.
After nursing Jonah, Roman changed and swaddled him and carefully laid him in the bassinet beside our bed. The two of us lay together, my head on Roman’s chest, his heartbeat steady under my cheek.
“Two days down,” he murmured.
“A million more to go,” I finished.
“Thank god. Don’t think I’ll ever get enough of these days.”
“Even with no sleep?”
He kissed my crown and sighed. “Even then. I think we’re going to have to renegotiate about seven.”
I smiled into his chest. “Seven isn’t happening.”
His arms tightened around me. “A man can dream, can’t he?”
“Why not? You’ve made my dreams come true, after all.”
He pulled his head back, his lips ending up on my forehead. “You’re saying I have a chance?”
That made me laugh. “Not seven, but probably more than two.” I trailed my fingers over his collarbone. “How about you give me a little time to recover before asking me for more children?”
He paused. “What if I ask you something else?”
I yawned. “Ask away, honey. Though, I warn you, I’m seconds from nodding off, so you’ll have to be quick.”
“I had other plans for this, but—” From nowhere, he produced a small, navy-blue box and placed it on his chest. “The thing I want most is to have a life with you.”
Heart in my throat, I propped myself up on my elbow. “Roman, I—”
He tapped my lips, his gaze soft on mine. “I will love our family no matter how big it grows, and you’ll always be at the center of it—the very heart of everything. Will you marry me, Shira?”
“What? I…uh, I didn’t expect this.” My eyes dropped to the box. He’d clearly been planning this since before Jonah was born. “You really want to marry me?”
“Yes, I do. Never been more sure of anything.” He flipped the box open, revealing an elegant sapphire surrounded by small, round diamonds. It was pretty, but right now, I only had eyes for Roman. “I love you, Shira. I think we’re at the start of building something beautiful together, and the one thing that would make it better is if you would agree to be my wife.”
I’d been proposed to before, but the sole commonality between these two instances was the question that was asked. The first had been for convenience and companionship—a need on both our parts. There’d been lots of love there, but not the right kind. Not the kind that made my heart skip a beat at the prospect of spending a lifetime together.
In stark contrast, neither Roman nor I needed to be married. The only thing we would be getting out of a marriage was a legally binding agreement. Yet, he wanted to marry me so badly, he couldn't wait for flowers or candlelight—and knowing him, that had been his original plan.
When I searched inside myself, I didn’t have to go deep to find I was bubbling with excitement at the prospect of becoming Roman Wells’ wife. It would be different this time. It would be real, and he was right; it would be beautiful.
“Yes!” I flung myself at him, which was a mistake given how tender I was, but I didn’t let the pain stop me from wrapping my arms around his neck. “Yes, my answer is yes. I love you so much.”
The ring forgotten, he wrapped me in his arms and rolled us to our sides. He ran his nose down mine and gently kissed me.
“I’m going to be a good husband, Goldie. We’re going to have the best life,” he promised.
“I don’t doubt you at all, Rome. Look how good we already have it.” I kissed him again, slow and deep, the kind of kiss that needed to happen in times like these. “By the way, what did Ben whisper to you when we first got home?”
“Ah.” The corner of his mouth hitched. “My brother asked if I was going to marry you.”
My breath caught in my throat. And he hadn’t just said yes, but “hell yes,” because he loved me and couldn’t wait to marry me.
I kissed him again, harder, deeper. His fingers tangled in the sides of my hair, and he rolled his forehead along mine.
“You’re happy?”
I nodded.
“Feel good?”
Another nod.
“Love me?”
“Love you.”
His exhale gusted across my lips. “Ready to start down this new path with me?”’
I immediately knew he was referencing what I’d written to him long ago, back when we were little more than strangers yet connected on a level we hadn’t understood.
You can walk a hundred paths in your lifetime. If this one is coming to an end, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of your dreams. You’ll get up, walk down a new path, and find the next dream.
I was more than ready to walk this path beside Roman, Jonah in our arms, to seek our next dream together.
I answered him the only way I could.
“Hell yes, I am.”