CHAPTER 36
KENDRICK
We can also celebrate the way the Board and HR handled the news of my relationship with Brevan. It was the correct response, but was also met with respect, understanding, and an ability to see beyond the stigma of what a relationship between faculty and students negatively conjures.
Not least of all, we can celebrate Brevan’s contract with the New York Tides. There were a lot of words exchanged after he’d left the room, namely by some bigots in the back who didn’t enjoy Coach Lemon’s effortless smackdown that made them appear three feet tall and pathetic as fuck.
Brevan is unaware of what happened once he was out of the room. There’s no need to color his moment with anything other than the pride it deserves. We returned to a campus-wide party in honor of Brevan’s first-round, third-overall pick. That’s the best to date that an RDU alumnus has landed.
Of course, we could note that his four-year, $96 million contract, with a signing bonus of $24.
5 million, makes him the second-highest-paid defensive cornerback in the league based on average annual value.
He’s been walking around in a daze since he signed the contract, completely dumbfounded that this is his life right now.
However, as important and impressive as all those moments are, nothing is bigger than right now.
Nothing is worth celebrating more than today.
Because today, I marry the man who will always be my very first priority.
For the first time in my life, maybe wrongfully so, but the first time all the same, RDU will no longer take precedence over the person I love.
I’m not necessarily sure what this will look like for our future. New York is a long way away from California. There are very few teams that would take him further from me.
Then again, we’re not splitting up. Not really.
Seth straightens my tie for the third time. I let him, even though I think we both know it’s straight. I grip his wrist, and his eyes meet mine.
My kids are here to witness and celebrate my marriage to Brevan, for which I’m grateful.
I won’t go so far as to say that our relationship is all healed, but I hope it’s on the mend.
Although they’re not exactly thrilled that my new husband is barely older than my two youngest. Tabby says it’s awkward as fuck.
When they’re here in the same room as Brevan… yeah, it’s a little… strange.
The years between us has never been a thought, though. I have never once looked at Brevan and recognized that he’s in his early twenties. I looked at him and saw his shining soul. Every single time I look into his eyes, it’s his beautiful, loving, good soul looking out at me.
“Thank you for being here.”
Seth sighs. “I’m glad you’re happy,” he says, and though his tone might not reflect that mood, I believe that he’s supportive.
Our conversation a couple of weeks ago, I think, went a long way in helping my children understand.
I’m vehemently against bringing my kids into my marital problems with their mother, but I realized as they asked questions that perhaps they needed some truths, which meant I needed to share details I wouldn’t otherwise.
I loved Natalia when we got married. I’m not sure what happened, but at some point, there was a shift in our marriage.
Perhaps it’s because she wasn’t at all supportive of me and my career when I needed her to be.
Not even after I made it crystal clear how important this mission was to me.
There’s a good chance that her refusal to even consider a life in Glensdale, so I could follow my passion, was the catalyst for the end.
It’s only as I talked it out with my kids that this came to the forefront in my mind as possibly the beginning of the end. Which is why it will never be so much as a paper cut in my life with Brevan.
We will make it work. Football is as important to him as RDU is important to me. We understand that.
“Don’t take this as discouraging, but you’ve only known this guy for a couple of months,” Tabby says. She watches me with her mother’s eyes. The frown on her face is all too familiar, too.
“Tab,” Briar chides.
“Less than two months,” I agree. “You can believe I’m making a mistake if you want. I’m still happy you’re here to celebrate my marriage.”
Tabby winces, her frown deepening. Her mouth opens, but she doesn’t have anything to say.
“I get it,” I tell her, and look at both my sons, so they know I’m including them in this.
“If the situation were reversed and one of you were standing here getting ready to marry a person you’ve only just met, I’d be cautioning you.
I’d be worried about you and your future.
I’d think that you’re rushing far more than any circumstance dictates. I understand your concern.”
My daughter sighs.
“I spent a lot of years alone—my own doing, I know. But I’m ready to make changes, and I have no desire to waste any time. I’m sure about how I feel. About Brevan. Our future together. I’m ready to live the life that I refused myself for so long, and I don’t want to wait.”
A knock on my door has the four of us turning.
Part of me imagines Natalia showing up and causing a scene.
It’s been over a month since I heard from her, and I’m past due for her screaming in my ear.
While my kids haven’t said anything concerning their mother and her opinion of my marriage, I have no doubt at all that she’s made her views clear to them.
Briar answers the door. I don’t see who’s there at first until he takes a step backward, and my soon-to-be husband is standing there. His eyebrows are knit together as he looks at me with barely controlled anxiety.
“We’ll give you two a minute,” Seth says. He takes his sister by the elbow, and the three of them leave the room.
I bring Brevan into my arms and kiss him softly. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I just realized that we’re going to live thousands of miles apart!”
“No, we’re not.”
“You can’t quit!”
I smile and press another soft kiss to his lips.
“I won’t be. The truth of the matter is, it’s unusual for someone in my position to be on campus every single day.
Byndley will be here as my liaison, and I’ll be here often enough.
I’ve already got the details worked out, Brev. It’s going to be fine.”
“What details?”
“While you’re busy with training camps, I’ll spend some time here.
During your season, I’ll spend some time here in between supporting you at your games.
But you have quite a bit of off-season time, and in those months, you can be here with me.
I know Coach will love having you—a professional football player—on campus to inspire the next generation of athletes. ”
Brevan takes a breath. “Yeah. I think that’ll be fine.”
“I won’t be away from you for any length of time, Brevan. I have no desire to live my life without you in it, for as many days as we can manage. We will communicate frequently about everything, and especially about work, since there will be time spent apart.”
“I love you,” he says quietly. “I just don’t want to be the person who holds you back from doing all the good things you’re working toward with RDU. It’s important.”
“It is. But something I failed to understand for far too long is that my personal life, and the relationships in my personal life, are equally important.”
He smiles. “Thank you for always quieting my fears.”
“Thank you for trusting that you can always come to me with them so we can work through them together.”
“I’m so excited to be your husband. I thought draft day was the biggest memory I’ll ever have because you told me you loved me for the first time, but there’s a chance that today might outdo that one.”
He shared with me that draft day was his most treasured memory, not because his professional dreams were coming true, but because I told him how I felt about him.
He then got anxious because he’d been so overwhelmed and overstimulated about the moment that he hadn’t had a chance to tell me how he felt.
He’s such a damn good person. Such a beautiful, precious soul. I’m afraid of what the world will do to him when he realizes that out there, in the NFL, he will be met with more people like the one in the room with us who felt it was okay to state their opinion concerning Coach Lemon.
I know he’s strong enough to face the ugly, but I hate what it might do to him.
He’s soft. Not in a way that the world thinks being soft is weak.
Kindness is not weakness. But the soft bits about him will easily bruise, and while he will keep a strong, confident presence in the face of ugliness, I know he’ll carry around those wounds for a while.
I wish he could take Coach Lemon around with him everywhere. At least for a while.
No. I will stay with him and protect him from the ugly world. I will be his armor.
“Today has already skyrocketed to my best memory.” I pause to think about it. “Okay, right up there with the birth of my children.”
Brevan beams. “Can we go get married now, Kendrick?”
“Lead the way, my love. I’m right behind you.”
“No,” he says and takes my hand. “I’d rather you always be beside me.”
Perfectly said.