Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
T aylor hurried through the hospital’s sliding glass doors, the sharp scent of antiseptic hitting her as she entered. The fluorescent lights overhead were harsh, but the thud of her boots on the polished floor grounded her as she made her way to the pediatric ward. Her heart pounded, her chest tight with worry as she navigated the unfamiliar hallways.
She spotted her mother near the nurses’ station, her familiar figure a beacon of calm in the chaos. Grace’s expression softened with relief when she saw Taylor, and she stepped forward, wrapping her daughter in a firm hug.
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re here,” Grace murmured, her voice low and soothing.
Taylor clung to her mother for a moment, the familiar warmth of her embrace giving her a fragile sense of steadiness. But it was fleeting. She pulled back, her hands gripping Grace’s arms. “How is he? Is he okay?”
Grace’s eyes were kind but tired; the worry etched into the faint lines around them. “He’s better, Taylor. His oxygen levels are stable, and the doctors are hopeful he’ll go home in a day or two. He’s a fighter, just like his mama.”
The fear in Taylor loosened just slightly, but the ache didn’t fade entirely. “I need to see him,” she said, her voice breaking.
Getting home had felt like an eternity. The endless hours of travel dragged on, each second a reminder of how far she was from Liam. And that last ride from the airport, every red light, every slow car felt like an obstacle deliberately placed to test her patience. Her heart had pounded with every passing mile, her fingers gripping the edge of the seat as if sheer willpower could make the car go faster.
Grace nodded, placing a steadying hand on her back as she led her toward Liam’s room.
Taylor’s breath hitched the moment she stepped inside. Liam sat propped up in the hospital bed, a tangle of blankets around him. His cheeks were still pale, but there was color creeping back into them, and his eyes lit up the instant he saw her.
An IV was taped to his tiny arm, the tubing snaking down to the bag of fluids hanging beside his hospital bed. Tears clogged her throat as she watched him cradle the arm protectively, holding it close to his body as if shielding it from the world.
Liam would occasionally glance at the IV with wide, cautious eyes, his other hand hovering near it but never touching it. It was clear he didn’t fully understand what it was, only that it made him feel strange and fragile in a way he wasn’t used to.
“Mommy!”
The sound of his voice nearly undid her. She crossed the room in two quick strides, leaning over the bed to scoop him into her arms, aware of the IV in his sweet little arm.
“Baby, I’m here,” she whispered, her voice trembling as she held him close. He wrapped one arm around her neck, clinging tightly as if he feared she might disappear.
For a moment, the world outside the hospital room fell away. Taylor kissed the top of his head, breathing him in—the faint scent of baby shampoo mixed with the sterile air of the hospital. Her heart ached with relief and the lingering guilt that she hadn’t been there when he needed her.
“Mommy,” Liam said, pulling back just enough to look at her. His voice was soft, a little raspy, but the spark in his eyes gave her hope. “I’m sorry I got sick. Grandma stayed with me. I got stickers.”
Taylor smiled through the tears that threatened to spill. “She told me you were very brave. I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.”
He grinned, his baby teeth making his smile bright, making her heart squeeze. She kissed his forehead again, unable to stop herself.
“Mommy missed you so much,” she murmured.
“I missed you too,” Liam said, his small hand brushing her cheek with a tenderness that made her heart clench. His bright eyes sparkled with curiosity as he added, “Did you bring me a present?”
A soft laugh escaped her, and a smile spread across her face. She gently brushed back the delicate strands of his rich brown hair, the same color as his father’s. It was a little reminder of Caleb she couldn’t escape, even in moments like this.
“I couldn’t find a dinosaur,” she said, her voice warm, “but there might be a Tonka truck in my suitcase.” His eyes grew wide. “So I guess you better get well so you can go home and play with it.”
“Yes,” he said. “I’m trying, Mommy.”
“I know you are, baby,” she said, kissing the top of his sweet head again.
Grace watched from the corner of the room, her hands clasped in front of her as she gave them their moment. Finally, she stepped closer, her voice soft. “He’s been asking for you nonstop. I told him you’d get here as soon as you could.”
Taylor turned to her, her gratitude too enormous to express. “Thank you, Mom. For everything.”
Grace smiled, her eyes glistening. “Of course, sweetheart. You know I’d do anything for you and Liam.”
Taylor settled into the chair beside Liam’s bed, holding his hand as he chattered about the nurses, the stickers he’d earned, and the “weird machine” they put on his finger. He seemed so small in the oversized bed, his voice a little too quiet for her liking, but his spirits were high, and that was all that mattered.
After a while, Liam drifted off to sleep, his breathing steady and even. Taylor stayed by his side, her hand still holding his. Grace pulled up a chair beside her, sitting in companionable silence for a moment before speaking.
“You look exhausted,” Grace said gently, her gaze searching Taylor’s face.
Taylor let out a shaky laugh. “I’m fine.”
Grace raised an eyebrow, the same look that had always been able to unravel Taylor’s defenses.
“I didn’t sleep much,” Taylor admitted, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
“Or at all,” Grace guessed, her voice careful. “Something tells me there’s more to this than Liam being sick.”
Taylor’s stomach twisted, and she avoided her mother’s gaze. “I came as soon as I heard, Mom. That’s all that matters.”
Grace tilted her head, studying her. “Taylor, you’ve been carrying something since you walked through that door. And I think I know what it is.”
Taylor’s fingers curled against the armrest of her chair.
“It’s Caleb, isn’t it?” Grace asked softly.
The name was enough to make her heart stutter. Taylor exhaled slowly, trying to gather her thoughts. “It’s nothing, Mom. It’s over. Whatever... whatever happened between us, it doesn’t matter anymore. We’re done.”
It felt like poetic justice—leaving him the same way he’d left her in college, slipping away without a word. But there was no satisfaction in it. Instead of triumph, an awful, hollow emptiness had settled in her bones, gnawing at her with every passing mile. What was done was done, and there was no way to take it back.
Grace’s expression didn’t waver, her calm persistence chipping away at Taylor’s defenses.
“It’s true,” Taylor continued, her voice firmer this time. “We’re not... there’s nothing between us. I told myself it wouldn’t go past one night, and it won’t.”
Grace didn’t say anything right away, letting Taylor’s words settle between them. When she finally spoke, her tone was quiet and careful. “And yet, you’re sitting here, looking like it’s breaking your heart.”
Taylor’s throat tightened, the emotions she’d been trying to suppress bubbling to the surface. “I was stupid,” she said, her voice cracking. “I let myself get caught up in the moment, and now I feel... I don’t know. Sad. Angry. Confused. All of it.”
Grace reached over, placing a steadying hand on her daughter’s arm. “Taylor, it’s okay to feel all of that. You’ve been through so much with him. Of course, there’s going to be a part of you that still... cares.”
Taylor shook her head, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Mom. It can’t. He’s the same Caleb he’s always been. He doesn’t stay. He doesn’t let anyone in. And I can’t put myself through that again. Not for me, and not for Liam.”
Grace’s grip on her arm tightened just slightly, her voice steady. “But do you think he’s the same Caleb? From the way you’re talking, it doesn’t sound like he is.”
Taylor bit her lip, staring at the sleeping form of her son. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s changed. Or maybe I just want to believe he has. But either way, it doesn’t matter. Last night was... it was a mistake. And it’s done.”
Grace nodded slowly, her gaze softening. “Okay, sweetheart. If that’s what you believe, then I’ll trust you. But don’t shut yourself off entirely, Taylor. You’ve worked so hard to protect yourself and Liam, and I’m so proud of you. But love... real love... doesn’t always follow the rules we set for it.”
Taylor’s mind rebelled at her mother’s words, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond. Instead, she focused on the steady rise and fall of Liam’s chest, the rhythmic sound of his breathing grounding her.
For now, this was where she needed to be. This was what was important.