Chapter Twenty-One
Mila woke with the unfamiliar sensation of warmth at her back. For a second, she hazily thought she was looking after Erin’s dog, Boswell, who, no matter how sternly she told him he had to sleep on the floor, always ended up in her bed when she looked after him. But as her eyes opened, and she came fully awake, she realized that not only was she not sleeping with Boswell, she wasn’t even in her own bed.
And then it all came back to her. She’d fallen asleep in Hersch’s arms. It was something she never did, certainly not the first time she slept with a man.
What was wrong with her? And then she realized that for the first time in her life, she was thinking about him as a maybe. Maybe she could do this. Maybe she could trust a man to be there for her. Maybe she could see herself with only one man for the rest of her life. The thought should have been terrifying, but instead, it was oddly comforting.
He was sound asleep beside her, and she paused just a moment to take pleasure in the strong lines of his face, the moustache that she was coming to love, and that Saint Christopher’s medal glinting on his chest. A quick glance at her watch told her she had time to go surfing before she went to work. She very much needed to clear her head.
As silently as she could, she slipped out of bed. She found her dress, which the incredibly tidy Hersch had somehow found time to pick up and fold neatly. Beside it was her bra, but she couldn’t find her panties.
She slipped on her bra and the dress and was looking under the bed for her missing underwear when a sleepy voice said, “I like that view.”
She felt horribly flustered as she stood. Her panties were in her hand, and she tried to be casual as she stepped into them and pulled them up. He watched, hooking an arm behind his head, his eyes filled with lazy amusement.
“Do you have to go so soon?”
“Yes. I have waves to surf.”
He glanced at the clock on his bedside table and crooked an eyebrow. “At six in the morning?”
“Oh yeah.”
He started to roll out of bed. “I could put on some coffee.”
She leaned over and kissed him. “Go back to sleep.” She glanced at her watch, and he was right. It was just after six. “I looked at the surf report. It’s going to be epic.”
She hadn’t looked, but she didn’t care if the ocean was flat as glass. She’d take her surfboard and get out on the water even if she just floated there, trying to make sense of what had happened between her and Hersch.
The way he looked at her made her wonder if he was seeing more than she wanted him to. She was so confused. She’d never felt this confused.
“You can’t go surfing without coffee. I’ve seen you. You have an addiction.”
Darn it, he really did see too much. “I’ll brew some while I’m getting my surf stuff on,” she told him.
“What about breakfast? I can make you some breakfast. Maybe something to go?”
Now she realized there was a flicker of humor in his beautiful eyes. It was as though he knew how badly he’d shaken her and was enjoying it.
“No. I’m fine. I’ll call you later.” She kissed him quickly on the lips before rushing out.
When she reached her house, she sent Erin a quick message. Coffee this morning? Need advice.
Erin was also an early riser. Mila was tempted to tell her sister to grab her surfboard, but she needed an hour or two alone. Erin texted back in no time. Just one word: Sure.
The ocean wasn’t that calm, nor was it the best surfing she’d ever had. However, she managed to get some good rides, and more than that—enough time on the ocean to calm the choppy seas inside her. When she rode in, it was close to eight, and to her delight, her sister was waiting right there on the beach. With two cups of coffee in her hands. Mila immediately flashed back to when Hersch had stood not so far away, also with two cups of coffee in his hands.
When she reached Erin and had taken her first slug of beautiful, reviving coffee, she said, “I thought we’d go to the coffee shop.”
Erin shook her head. “You think I don’t know you? I could tell it was an emergency.”
Mila dropped her board, and they turned and began to walk together. “Not an emergency, exactly.”
Erin shot her a look. “Is it about Herschel?”
She nodded. “You see right through me.”
“I’m an investigative journalist. It’s my job to see beyond the fa?ade to the deep core of truth. Did something happen?”
“Yes. How do you know so much?”
“Because I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. And so has Arch. Frankly, we agree it almost scorches our eyeballs.”
Mila jabbed Erin’s shoulder. “You didn’t say anything to Arch, did you?”
Erin looked shocked. “Of course not. But he said you guys were pretty weird around each other at his house the other day. He asked me if something was going on.”
Mila groaned. So much for keeping her sex life private. A gull wheeled overhead, and the surf pounded as they walked on the sand. “Hersch had a housewarming party last night.”
Erin’s eyebrows rose. “I didn’t get an invitation.”
“I was the only one invited.”
“Aha.”
“The party went on until this morning, when I woke up in his bed.”
“Aha,” she repeated, this time with a wicked glint in her eye. “I can’t help but ask—was it…?”
“The hottest thing I’ve ever experienced? Oh yeah.”
It seemed to her that Erin was trying very hard to suppress a grin. But all she said was, “And this is a crisis why?”
“Because he’s a maybe,” she blurted.
Of all the people in the world, only Erin would get the significance of this comment. She actually stopped walking. “You’re kidding me. He’s an actual maybe?”
“Yes.”
Erin was so shocked she had trouble keeping up with Mila’s much longer stride. Finally, she scampered to catch up. “I can’t remember when you’ve been a maybe about a man. You’re always a no.”
“Well, this time I’m a maybe. Only, you know what the crazy part is?”
“There’s a crazier part?”
“For him, I’m a no. This can’t be anything serious. He actually told me that.”
Erin didn’t laugh out loud, but Mila could see her shoulders shaking as she tried to control herself.
“I can’t believe you’re laughing at me while I’m having a crisis.”
“You have to admit it’s kind of funny. Talk about having the tables turned on you.” And then Erin stepped in front of her with a devilish look in her eyes. She held out her hand and said, “I want you to pinkie swear that you’ll give this guy a chance.”
Mila was so frustrated now she wished she hadn’t even called her. “You know I hate pinkie swears with you.”
“Yes, I do. That’s why I’m making sure you do one. Because I know you, and the minute you get even the slightest bit uncomfortable, you will run. If he’s as good as a maybe now, then one day he might be a yes.”
Of course that was what frightened Mila the most. What if he was a yes for her, and she was a no for him? She hadn’t risked her heart in such a long time, she wasn’t sure she could survive having it broken again.
Erin continued, “Anyway, he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’s flighty, you know? I mean, outside of space shuttles.”
“Are you saying I’m flighty?”
“Well, you do have a tendency to take flight the minute anybody gets the tiniest bit serious about you.”
It was hard to argue with reality. “Well, this time he seems to be the flighty one.”
“No. I don’t think he is. I think there’s something else stopping him.”
Since she’d told Erin this much, she decided to share the rest. “He says he never wants to have to go on a mission while leaving behind a wife or children. He thinks it wouldn’t be fair to them because his job is so risky.”
Erin looked at her. “Are you kidding me? What about police officers and people in the army? They risk their lives all the time.”
She was so pleased Erin could see the situation the same way she did. “I know! That’s exactly what I told him.”
Erin shook her head. “Sometimes I really don’t understand men.”
“Amen, sister.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“Well, I’m going to enjoy the fabulous sex, and…” She thought long and hard. “And I’m just going to enjoy the fabulous sex. And not worry about tomorrow.”
Erin shot her yet another searching look. “Are you going to bring him as your date to the wedding?”
Frustrated, she watched a spaniel run circles around them. It had crossed her mind to do that very thing. “We’re sleeping together. We’re not dating.”
“Maybe you should think about it. Then we could get to know him better. I mean, he seems like a really nice guy.”
She let out a huge sigh. “He is. He is a really nice guy.” She picked up the slobbery ball the happy spaniel had dropped at her feet and threw it. The dog raced off. “I’ll think about it.” Then she turned to her little sister. “Are you bringing someone?”
“I don’t know. I usually take Clark, the Sea Shell photographer, as my plus-one, but obviously I can’t bring a news photographer to my celebrity brother’s secret wedding that the media aren’t supposed to know about.”
Mila could see her problem. Besides, Clark was a convenient plus-one. He was nice and dressed well and never, ever challenged Erin in any way. All the world could tell he was in love with her from afar, but he wasn’t bold enough to make a move, so they were friends—and not even friends with benefits.
Mila was about to remind Erin one more time that Jay Malone was coming to Archer’s wedding, and she was pretty sure he wasn’t bringing a plus-one. His current hot underwear model was exactly the sort of person who would alert the worst of the paparazzi if she ever got wind of it. However, Mila was still mad at Jay for pushing his biopic idea at Hersch. He didn’t deserve a nice woman like Erin on his arm. And Erin definitely deserved someone nicer than Jay—someone who listened to Mila, for instance.
While she’d been thinking about this, Erin’s mind had obviously gone down a different track. “As a journalist, I feel really bad promoting the fiction that my brother’s getting married in Scotland.”
Mila turned to her in shock. “You’re not going to sell out Arch to the Sea Shell, are you?”
Irritation was evident on her sister’s face. “Of course I would never do that. I’m just saying, when they find out, I’ll get in huge trouble. You know I will. This would be the scoop of the century for the Sea Shell.”
Mila could see her point, but still, family was more important than any job. She thought about it, and the best she could come up with was that maybe Arch could let the Sea Shell have an exclusive photograph. She shared this idea with Erin, who looked less than impressed. Then she shrugged.
“It’s not like I’ll lose my job or anything. I just feel bad, that’s all.”
“I get that. Jay’s been trying to get hold of me lately. I think he’s hoping I’ll put in a good word for him with Herschel. Which I never will.”
Erin said, “You can see where he’s coming from, though. It would be an amazing project. I mean, Herschel Greenfield is an absolute hero, and what a great part for Archer to play.”
Mila felt the familiar irritation rise in her that came every time that project was brought up. “Yes, I know it would be a great project, but it’s the man’s life. It’s his trauma, and I don’t think he wants to see it laid out on a big screen.”
Erin turned and looked at her. “You’re taking this really seriously. Are you sure it’s completely Herschel that gets you all worked up? Or is there still some of your own stuff about the accident that you haven’t dealt with?”
She looked down and stabbed a toe into the sand. “Sometimes you’re so smart I can’t stand it. I honestly hadn’t even thought of that. But maybe that’s what’s bothering me so much.”
“If somebody came along and wanted to make a movie of your life story, how would you feel?”
“Mostly awful, I think. And I’m pretty sure that’s how Herschel feels too.”
“I’m sure you’re right. I’m just thinking that maybe you should let him fight his own battles. He seems perfectly capable of doing so.”
She took a last sip of coffee and with an exaggerated sigh said, “Okay. I should head back and get ready for the office.”
They hugged good-bye, and Mila collected her board and walked home slowly. She hated to admit it, but Hersch and his steamy lovemaking had gotten under her skin, and her sister had gotten straight to the heart of her annoyance with Jay. What was it with her lately? She kept things in control—everything from her time to her love life. Now? She felt her control slipping, and she didn’t like it one bit.