Chapter Twenty Nine
The Idea
This definitely feels like cheating, I thought to myself as I looked at the little baby onesie.
Mama’s Boy, it said on the front.
I felt guilty looking at the onesie. I felt guilty thinking of the baby in general. It wasn’t meant to be mine—it was going to be Celeste’s baby. So it felt like a cheated life having her baby and having my own shop on top of it. It seemed like I would be happy after all.
I ran a hand through my hair as I took a deep breath. This was definitely not the idea I had in mind when I signed the papers to be artificially inseminated with a stranger’s sperm. Granted it wasn’t the best idea to begin with, but I was doing something good for a married couple who’d been trying for a baby for a very long time. In return I’d get enough money to create my own life. At the time the idea was a win-win situation.
Now I was sure the universe was laughing at me knowing what it had in store for me.
“Are you going to keep staring at the onesie?”
Val’s voice came from his kitchen and I was sitting on his living room floor. All his furniture came in and they were all built and ready to use, I just grew to love his wooden floors.
“It’s cute,”
I finally replied after a long wave of silence.
“I know, I saw it, and I immediately thought you’d love it,” he said.
“Thank you.”
I was now expecting a baby, and I couldn’t even back away from taking care of him because Ardley cried, begging me to stay in his life because I’d probably be the closest thing to a mother the baby would ever have. Deep in my heart I knew it was what Celeste would’ve wanted me to do. To stay in the baby’s life no matter what. And now I’d started something with Callum, something I couldn’t walk away from or ignore, it was not complicated now but I know it will be. Classic me, really. I ran away from a problem only to crash into another one.
“You moved in with Callum,”
he said it like a statement.
“Yeah, I had nowhere else to go,”
I explained.
I could hear him laugh sarcastically from the kitchen. “You’d move in with a complete stranger before moving in with me, right, that makes total sense.”
I sighed, “he’s not a stranger, he’s…”
I thought for a second, “the baby’s uncle,” I said as I swallowed.
Val finally joined me in the living room. “And apparently your long-awaited, hot crush.”
He wiggled his brows.
I grimaced.
“Here’s your fruit salad,”
Val said as he handed me a bowl, then he took a seat next to me on the floor. “Sorry, I didn’t have time to drive out of town to get you those expensive grapes you like so much,” he popped a blackberry into his mouth, “not all of us can do it like Callum.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t make me regret telling you anything.”
He laughed. “C’mon what’s the fun if I can’t tease you about it. I’m guessing you’re a bajillionaire by now.”
He raised his brows.
I shook my head as I bit my lips. “You’re so evil,”
I chuckled as I ate a strawberry. I knew it. I just knew he would bring this up again.
“That’s not what I want to hear, Jules,”
he playfully shook his head with a grin plastered on his face, “say the words,” he pinned me with a look, “the right words, the ones I wanna hear.”
I sucked in a breath as I dropped my shoulders. “You were…not wrong.”
He shook his head as he placed a finger behind his ear. “I was what?”
“Right,”
I pressed, “you were right.”
He grinned. “Of course I was.”
The house smelled like burnt cheese. And once again the smoke detector was blaring. I took off my shoes then dropped my purse and keys on the little table by the door then pulled my hair into a ponytail as I made my way towards the kitchen.
“Hey, Cal,”
I whispered once I saw him. He was busy fanning the smoke detector with a kitchen towel.
“Hi.”
He nervously grinned once he saw me. “You’re back so soon.”
I placed a hand on my hips. “It’s ten.”
His brows furrowed. “So late—”
“I was at Val’s house, he had something to show me.”
He nodded. “I’m making shrimp alfredo.”
“I can tell,”
I said as I looked around the place, “you burnt the cheese?” I looked back at him. Finally taking a good look at him. He wore a white shirt and blue jeans and he had an apron on.
I tried to suppress my laughter when I read his apron.
“Mr. Good Lookin’ Is Cookin’.”
I laughed.
He frowned as he looked down at his apron and the smoke detector finally stopped. “What? It was a Christmas gift.”
“Nothing, good lookin’.”
I burst out into another fit of laughter while he sighed. I don’t think he’d ever wear the apron again, so I was going to make it worth his last time wearing it.
I finally got myself to stop laughing. “Do you need help?”
He flipped the towel over his shoulder as he approached me, his hair was a mess, just everywhere. And it was a complete distraction…for him, not for me. He should push his hair back because it distracted him and not me.
“Can you make the sauce? Without burning the cheese?” he asked.
I nodded as I turned around to wash my hands.
I got started on making the new sauce as promised, and Callum wasn’t too far off with the food because he had already grilled the shrimp and boiled the pasta. All there was left was the sauce. He even helped with that. I guess he just didn’t know how to cook with the burner on low. He washed the rest of the dishes by the time I added the shrimp into the sauce and mixed the pasta in as well. Callum just sort of slowly faded into the background after washing the dishes, probably watching me cook.
Once I finally finished, I washed my hands and looked at Cal who was sitting on the stool facing me like I predicted.
“It’s done,”
I said as I made my way to the dinner table.
He nodded.
Cal approached me at the dinner table with two plates of shrimp alfredo. He placed one in front of me then the other one in front of the seat across from me. He disappeared again and came back with two glasses with ice in it, and two soda pops.
“Thank you,”
I said as he arranged everything in front of me.
“You know, since I own goats I make my own cheese.”
My brows shot up as I lightly gasped. “Really?”
He laughed, “No.”
“Cal!”
I groaned.
“Try the food,”
he said as he finally took a seat.
He reached for my soda, opened it, then poured it into the glass cup for me. I was in awe of his actions—he truly did take care of me in every aspect.
He was becoming someone I could depend on, someone I could trust. Taking care of me seemed like it was easy for him, and I didn’t want to ruin it at all by saying or thinking anything stupid. Whatever this was between us I wanted to have it with him. I never knew that these small moments between us would mean so much to me. The playful way we talked to each other, the way he looked out for me, the way I always felt safe around him. My head spun whenever I think of him for too long.
My heart felt heavy as I looked at him.
I snapped back into reality when I noticed he was taking off his apron.
“Noooo! Don’t take off the apron, good lookin’.”
I laughed.
He laughed as he threw the apron at the end of the table. “Joke’s on you, I really like that apron.”
I twisted my fork into the pasta. “Of course you do, good lookin’.”
He groaned as his head lolled back.
I bit back a smile as I stuffed my mouth with a spoonful of pasta.
It was better than I expected it to be, the shrimp was done perfectly, and it was flavorful. We ate in silence for a while, but we still stared at each other a lot.
I smiled when I noticed the sauce next to his lips, I wouldn’t have guessed he was a messy eater.
“You have some…”
I pointed a finger next to his lips where he had some alfredo sauce lying around.
“Some what?”
He licked his lips.
“Right there.”
I pointed again.
He licked his lips and missed, again.
I sighed as placed a hand on the table then leaned forward. I used my thumb to brush the sauce off his face then, right when I was about to pull away, he wrapped his hand around my wrist and brought my thumb into his mouth and slowly licked it with his eyes piercing through me while I stared with lips parted.
I blinked and snapped out of the trance as I pulled away and fell back into my seat. While I was shocked, he was smiling, clearly pleased with himself.
“You wanted to do that, didn’t you? That’s why you were pretending you didn’t know you had sauce on your face.”
He shrugged.
My chest was still rising and falling from the quick excitement. It’d been a very long time since I’d done anything, so the smallest thing would affect me. Knowing I could throw myself in Callum’s arms at any second made him dangerous.
“I’m pregnant,”
I said out of the blue.
Callum coughed, then swallowed the rest of his drink. He set the glass down. “Yeah,”
he nodded, “I know.”
I shook my head, “I’m pregnant, with your brother’s baby.”
His brows furrowed. “But he didn’t get you pregnant. It was all done scientifically.”
“I know.”
“Then what’s bothering you?”
“You bother me.”
He smiled, his face instantly softened, and it was ridiculous how much power that looked had over me.
“And what is it that you think you do to me?”
His eyes darkened. “The difference is the fact that I don’t mind.” He leaned in and reached out and caressed the side of my face, “bother me all you want, sweetheart.”
My face softened as my brows furrowed. “You’re not supposed to say that,”
I whispered.
“What am I supposed to say then?”
I shrugged, “not…that.”
He chuckled as he pulled his hand away, and instantly that side of my face felt cold. Already missing his warmth.
“You’re gonna have to tell me a lot more than that, sweetheart.”
I sucked in a breath and finally found the courage to stand up. “Thank you for the meal, it’s getting late, so I’m gonna get myself ready for bed.”
He nodded and quickly stood up to grab my plate. “Go ahead, I’ll take care of that,”
he said through a soft smile.
“Thank you,”
I whispered again as I made my way down the hall.
My room was a room next to his.
It was a really nice room, nothing like my old apartment—nothing like I’ve stayed in, in a long time. There was a nice big window that allowed the moonlight to seep in. I had my own bathroom, so I was grateful that I wouldn’t be running into him or anything in that state. The room wasn’t decorated, just plain white walls and floor lamps—and a sweet TV.
I looked through my suitcase for a clean nightgown, I still hadn’t unpacked yet—I didn’t feel comfortable using the drawers and the closet yet, it would solidify staying here and next thing I knew the baby and I would be living here. Nice house, free rent, hot guy right next door could easily get into my head.
I wasn’t looking for a headache with my back already hurting. Every day was more exhausting than the day before—showering had become the only thing that provided me with some sort of momentary relief, but it was also a tedious process because I was of course pregnant and tired from work. There was nothing more I wanted to do than lay down right now, but I smelled like all sorts of coffee, and there was probably clay deep under my fingernails and the residue over my skin.
Music was the only thing that helped the process, it distracted me. And the baby liked it. Anything I played he liked so far. I admired his music taste already and I felt flattered.
I grabbed an oversized black shirt, some random shorts, and my phone then made my way to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower then opened Spotify and played Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC.
The hot water felt nice on my skin and the music fueled me as I showered while I sang. I was probably very off-key and terrible but everyone and I mean everyone sounds better in the shower.
This is the biggest my belly has ever been so far—I had the stretchmarks to prove it—and the baby was constantly moving. I wasn’t sure if it was because of *NSYNC or if it was because I was gently soaping my stomach—either way it brought a smile to my face.
I think…maybe I was finally accepting all of this. I didn’t know…all I needed was a house—and the baby was still Ardley’s baby…I’d just be in his life now like he had me agree to do.
The music changed to I’m With You by Avril Lavigne.
My playlist was chaos incarnated.
It was dangerous on shuffle. I genuinely had no idea what would play next—could be a happy pop song or a very depressing one that brought up terrible memories. The only playlist I truly had figured out was the playlist for the Barn.
Luckily, miraculously, my playlist could always tell what mood I was in—it was magical, I think.
I smiled when I earned another kick from the baby.
Another favorite song I see.
My mind instantly jumped to Callum. I’d been avoiding him and the obvious thing between us and it was so transparent. I just recently felt comfortable with the idea of possibly raising this baby. I wasn’t ready to entertain my desires yet.
I got out of the shower and wrapped my body in a towel. I took off my hair cap and did my skincare next, and took my vitamins for the day before finally changing into the oversized shirt and shorts. I grabbed my phone to stop the music and noticed a text from Callum sent just over six minutes ago.
Cal: You got “You’re The One That I Want”
on that playlist?
My brows furrowed as I immediately started typing to text back.
Juliette: from Grease?
Almost instantly, my text was read and the bubbles started to load as he worked on typing an answer back. It’s like he was camping next to the phone or maybe he was already on it.
Cal: yeah
Juliette: no, but I think I have it added on the Barn’s playlist.
Cal: Madonna?
Juliette: Ofc.
Cal: favorite song?
Juliette: by Madonna?
Cal: all time favorite song, any song.
I pulled away and thought about it for a second as my brows pulled together. I bit my lips, and I could only think of one song.
My parents used to play it a lot when they got along, or even tolerated each other for a while. They would dance together listening to that song, they would share a look, that neither meant they were in love or not in love. It was a look that meant a lot more complicated things my adolescent brain couldn’t comprehend. I memorized the song by default, but I learned to realize what that look meant.
Juliette: (I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew
Callum didn’t reply instantly with this one just when I was about to get into bed the screen of my phone lit up again.
Cal: old school.
Juliette: Not really, that song’s just a few years older than me.
Juliette: Besides, I grew up with this song.
Cal: Done.
Juliette: What’s done?
Cal: I added the song to my playlist.
I shook my head with a smile.
Juliette: What’s your favorite song?
Cal: I Just Died In Your Arms
I rolled my eyes with another smile.
Juliette: Nice try, goodnight.
I closed the phone and fell back on the world’s softest mattress with the world’s biggest smile on my face.
face.