Candle In The Wind

Chapter Fifty Two

To Love Someone Outloud

The universe was a serial killer. It was beautifully twisted and creative like no other. Everything we all once thought was karma or a gift from above was all destiny. Something carefully crafted by the universe. It could be good or bad, or really good, or really bad, or good and bad.

The universe created all sorts of new ways to kill us and drain us. Some liked to believe that every horrible thing that happened to us was meant to teach us a lesson. And though that may be right, it was cruel. It broke us. It killed us.

Life was a series of choices that may or may not lead to a path the universe chose the minute you were born. What if all the choices you were making, thinking it’s been out of your free will, had been the universe the entire time?

Like everything in life, we didn’t choose the family we were born into. We were either raised from a good hand or bad one. Your entire life could be altered the minute of your birth. With the right family you could become someone extraordinary and with the wrong family, there was still a possibility you could become someone great but there was a greater possibility that you could become someone scared or someone poisoned, a bad seed. Someone who never truly had a fair shot at life because of the family you were born into or the way you were raised.

Free will shrunk and shrunk the longer you think about it.

But there was still hope—we could create our own families, the people we chose to love, the people we chose to be with…after all blood was not thicker than water. I’d never once imagined that I’d be able to obtain a loving family—not with Christian anyways. But these days when I came home to Callum with Clay in his arms it felt like…home. Like we’d created our own little loving family. And I didn’t care if it could be a lesson or reward from the universe. I was grateful. It felt like I finally picked from a good hand, and Clay was born into a good hand, and he would be raised from good hands.

And I was certainly not ready to share our little family with other people, even with his family. But there was no way I’d be able to avoid Thanksgiving weekend with them.

I closed the car door behind me and immediately opened the back, grabbing Clay out of his car seat. Cal grabbed Clay’s bag and their butler, Junior, grabbed the rest of our bags. Thanksgiving dinner was set for tomorrow afternoon, but Laine wanted us to come a day early.

The trees were orange and if I looked off to the mountains I could see the reddish-orange color that represented fall reflected with the sun.

It was beautiful.

“Good morning, Juliette, Cal,”

Junior greeted.

I fixed the blanket around Clay. “Good morning, Junior,”

I replied at the same time as Cal.

“We’re very happy to have you,”

Junior said.

I smiled as I nodded.

Laine greeted us the second we stepped foot inside of the house. “Welcome dear!”

She smiled as she stepped in front of me and extended her arms out to get Clay, I smiled uncomfortably and gently handed her Clay.

“Awwweeee, honey.”

She grinned as she reached out and placed a hand against Cal’s cheek, “he looks more like you every day.”

Cal’s lips turned upward as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

I blinked as I stared at her in shock.

Her eyes finally sliced to mine. “Don’t worry dear, Cal and Ardley used to look very identical when they were kids.”

She laughed. “We used to say Ardley stole Cal’s face.”

I nodded as I laughed along.

“Now, now,”

Laine turned around and started walking down the hallway, “Junior should have the bags in your room by now, come have breakfast.”

I quickly followed as I looked at Cal over my shoulder, who didn’t seem to be as scared as I was. He was smiling in fact. He looked down at me and slid a hand behind my back and rubbed the small of my back. “It’ll be okay sweetheart, I’m with you.”

When we reached the kitchen, the staff had just started setting the food on the table. I couldn’t deny how good everything looked and how hungry I was. Because I was pro at procrastinating I was too busy doing last minute packing and skipped breakfast.

The food smelled great—there was bacon, biscuits, scrambled eggs, sausages, waffles, nicely diced fruits, fresh orange juice.

“Is he still nursing?”

Laine asked.

I blinked as I pulled away from the mental food coma I was going through. “Yes, he’s three months old.”

“My boys stopped nursing around this time—”

My brows furrowed. “Clay has been malnourished since he was in my womb and he finally started filling up—”

“When he was born, he was so small—so small I was scared of him, mom,”

Cal added.

She nodded with a tight smile, “I understand,”

she continued, “I didn’t mean to overstep, I apologize, please take a seat. Rob won’t be joining us for breakfast.”

Cal took a seat. “What about Ardley?”

“He’s joining us tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner, he said he had some things to take care of.”

She looked at Cal then looked at me. “I booked us a massage for noon, it’ll be a home visit.”

I smiled. “That’s very kind of you—”

“Yeah, I hear you’ve been working a lot lately, so I figured you could use a little break,”

she said as she glanced at Callum.

Speaking of break, I was officially taking my first mini vacation from work, and I was itching to text Ava or Bailey to see how it was going. They would be opening and closing by themself for three days. I know I was only a phone call away but that didn’t help at all—I was still worried. I pulled out my phone to send a text to Ava.

“And Amber—that girl, oh Christ,”

Laine took a deep breath, “she’s talking all over town I hear, she keeps talking about Clay and the whole who’s the father situation and—you know she still has a crush on you, right, Callum?”

I closed my phone after sending the text.

I looked at Callum who looked like he just stole something as he swallowed thickly, his brows furrowed as he shrugged. “So it’s my fault she can’t keep her mouth shut?”

he said as he grabbed a strawberry, “do you have some green grapes mom?” he asked as he looked around the table searching for the grapes.

“She’s jealous, Callum,”

she said as Clay cooed.

I stopped myself from nodding along because I didn’t want to seem jealous either. Though, Amber doesn’t have any rights to be.

“And how is that my fault? I’ve never done anything to make her feel like we’d ever be together.”

Laine kissed Clay as she smiled. “Yeah, I know, but if the girl you loved with your whole entire heart since grade school was suddenly raising a baby with another man, wouldn’t you be jealous?”

she said as she played with Clay, “wouldn’t you be jealous?” she repeated again in a baby tone just to get a smile out of Clay, “oh yes, you would! Yes, you would!”

Cal grimaced as he stared at her. “Stop that,”

he groaned.

His eyes finally met mine and I shrugged at him.

He smiled. “I don’t know, I think I’d still pursue the girl and raise her baby with her.”

Laine stopped playing with Clay and lifted her head up just to glare at Cal. She looked beyond annoyed. “Do you hear yourself?”

“But I wouldn’t pursue her if she told me she didn’t feel the same way.”

Laine sighed as she rolled her eyes.

“Try to relax, dear,”

Laine said.

And I wished it was that simple, but half of my ass was out in the same room as Cal’s mother—which meant half of her ass was out. I was constantly looking around, but I couldn’t see much around the face placement area. I could only see the foot of my massage therapist when she walked around.

It was fine, if I couldn’t see her then she couldn’t see me.

I forced my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I regretted eating so much at breakfast—I was uncomfortable lying down on a full stomach.

I took another deep breath. “Thank you for this.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, you’ll feel so relaxed tomorrow.”

She said it like I’ve been tense my whole life.

Elaine was kind, she could overstep…but she was kind, though her kind of kindness was different from what I’ve experienced, it was careless. Like it didn’t take her much to offer and she didn’t want anything back in return.

She wasn’t kind to me because I was special or because she liked me—she was just kind.

It felt like she was just like that.

She was the kind of person who would book me a massage because she could sense how tense I was.

“Is Callum good to you?”

she asked quietly, “I’ve never really seen him date anyone, so I wouldn’t know—but I know there’s a lot of kindness in him—”

“He’s amazing, Laine,”

I said as I smiled, “he’s selfless, thoughtful and sensitive. He’s a giver. I don’t think there’s a room or a place in his heart with any ill wishes.” I looked at the floor as I thought about how happy Callum was to spend some time with Clay while we get our massages. “He’s charming, compassionate, and he always tries—it doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll try. He listens and he cares.” I blinked as I pouted.

I sighed as I felt the massage therapist press all her weight at the center of my back.

If anything, I didn’t think I’d been good to him. I hadn’t been fair to him.

“I’m happy to hear that,”

Laine said. I could almost hear the smile in her tone. “It makes me feel like I raised him right, I know I probably didn’t do a good job but he’s human,” she said as she sniffed, “sorry, massages get me so emotional.” She sniffed again. “Ardley is broken, and I have no idea how to help him glue himself back together. Callum finally seems to be happy and I’m terrified something’s going to take that away from him. And Rob won’t stop terrorizing him—he says it’s what will make him a man but we all know that’s just a fucking excuse to be mad at him for not taking over the business.” She sobbed. “Instead of arguing over his stupid winery, he should be happy for Callum, he made his own success. So what if he didn’t need us? Shouldn’t we be happy for him?” She sniffed.

I remained quiet.

“You have to be the one person that does everything right by him, Juliette.”

I swallowed.

“You have to be the one person that supports him, the one person that doesn’t lie to him, the one person that takes his side no matter what, the one person that loves him for all that he is.”

She took a deep shaky breath, “I’ve never—” she paused as she took another deep breath, “seen anyone love him before,” she sniffed, “like really love him, and they’re not scared to go against anyone and anything for him.”

I tried to nod but with my face in a tight hole I could barely move.

“You have to be that person for him, Juliette.”

I released a breath. “I will.”

“Good. because I think you deserve to be loved like that as well.”

I sat up as I wrapped the towel around. Laine was right in front of me tilting her head back as she gently wiped her tears.

“Wow, that was really good. I even had an emotional breakthrough.”

She smiled.

She was happy while I was scared.

“Don’t forget to hit the sauna tomorrow, you’ll feel even better,”

she said as she stood up and walked out of the room like none of this ever happened, or maybe she wasn’t embarrassed.

I sighed.

Of course they have a sauna.