Candle In The Wind

Chapter Sixty Three

Full Moon

Pink Vishwakumar was beautiful. Literally as beautiful as her name. Her brown skin was beautiful, she had those big brown eyes and pink rosy cheeks, and very beautiful thick eyebrows. Her hair was long, brown, and silky. She looked expensive, like a rare gem. And like the rest of us in the room, she was hiding something.

I kept stealing glances at her as I packed the small Igloo cooler we were taking down to the beach. I was in charge of packing food and snacks, Cal was in charge of packing the towels and Ava and Pink were sitting on the couch having breakfast. Well, they were trying to have breakfast. It wasn’t easy knowing Callum made it—I didn’t risk it with the pancakes, and I made myself a yogurt bowl, but Pink didn’t seem to mind Cal’s pancakes. It could be stress-eating.

I shook my head as I tore my eyes away from across the room and ripped open the box of coconut water to fix them into the Igloo already filled with ice. After packing all the cans, I opened the trash can to throw the plastic away and there it was, a giant IHOP box. I scoffed as I slowly smiled, and right on cue Cal approached me in the kitchen.

“Why are you packing food? There will be food there, and if not, we can just go out.”

My brows pulled together. “I told you I’ll pack the food this morning and you agreed.”

“I thought you meant for Clay.”

I shook my head. “Whatever, care to explain this?”

I grinned as I opened the garbage can again.

Callum chuckled, “they’re already having a bad day, I didn’t want to add anything else—”

I let out a breathy laugh, “oh, but when I was actually glued in my bed dying you thought it was okay to feed me that salty ass soup?”

Callum sighed. “It wasn’t a soup—”

“It was and it was salty,”

I retorted.

He stepped in front of me and stalked over to me as he smiled. His scent clouded my head like a fog and my eyes widened as I looked up at him.

“Are you jealous?”

he asked smugly.

I scoffed as I looked away from him. “Of what? Your salty ass soup?”

I looked back at him.

Cal looked like he was trying to contain his laugh, “no, sweetheart,”

he tilted his head to the side, “you think I might be giving them special treatment.”

I pouted, “no,”

I shook my head, “I’m happy you didn’t actually cook anything. Lord knows we’d be waking up to the smoke alarm blaring nonstop while we cough up smoke.”

My mouth dropped open as his hand snaked around my lower back as he pulled me in, “yeah, but you’re still jealous.”

He grinned.

My brows pulled together, “I’m not.”

I tried my best to make it sound believable but I wasn’t sure Cal bought any of it because he kept that smug look on his face.

I awkwardly pulled my lips into a frown and laid my hand flat on his chest, “and if I was jealous, you’d know.”

Cal hummed as his eyebrows shot up. “You don’t say.”

“Cal.”

I groaned. He didn’t believe a single thing I said. And now I looked like a jealous psycho. Pink and Ava wouldn’t have survived Callum’s cooking.

“If it’s any consolation,”

he leaned down and brushed his lips against my ear, “I’d feel the same way too, love.”

I shook my head as I tried to pull away but he held me. My shoulders dropped in defeat as I relaxed into his embraces and I wrapped my arms around him, “no you wouldn’t,”

I whispered.

“You have no idea, sweetheart,”

he muttered.

I closed my eyes and savored the moment as we hugged. Callum was warm and everything nice. Sometimes I liked to think one of his hugs could fix everything. Like after enduring a bad day, one hug from him would have me recharged and all better. Or if I was feeling down or sad his hug would make me feel less alone, and at times like this, petty jealousy, a hug from him has me all reassured.

“We’re losing daylight!”

Ava shouted at us from the living room.

I laughed as I broke away from our hug. It was true, it was getting colder by the hour, the sunlight was the only thing that would make the beach bearable.

Anyways, who went to the beach in December?

“I’ll get Clay to his car seat,” Cal said.

I nodded as I closed the Igloo.

“Can we stop by a shop to get bathing suits? I don’t have any.”

Cal nodded then disappeared down the hallway to go grab Clay.

We still hadn’t decorated the house yet, and that was only because Cal and I hadn’t gone tree shopping yet. If it weren’t for him I would’ve bought an artificial tree a long time ago and called it a day but Callum wanted the best of everything and he wanted to make Clay’s first Christmas very special. I’ve told him countless times that Clay won’t remember any of this and somehow he teared up every time I remind him that Clay’s first few memories will probably be a random day in kindergarten or a day at a playground when he injures himself in the future.

“You don’t have any bathing suits,”

Ava said flatly.

I nodded. “Cal will make a stop for us.”

Pinky smiled.

It wasn’t as cold as I thought it would be, but Cal had Clay wrapped in at least seven different thick blankets…inside of the beach house.

“There’s a hot tub,”

Pinky said as she pointed at the glass door that led to the back of the beach house.

My eyes widened as I sat up, that sounded exciting. It wasn’t that cold outside, but I wasn’t going near that frigid water.

Callum smiled and nodded like he knew what I was going to say next. I immediately stood up and grabbed three coconut waters from the Igloo and followed Ava and Pink outside.

The hot tub was huge. I ran over to the short white railings where there was a box. I flipped it up and turned on the hot tub. In just a second the water started bubbling as it warmed up. I wrapped my hair up and joined the girls in the hot tub.

“Did you close today?”

Ava asked curiously.

I nodded.

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to show up and drag you into my mess—”

I immediately shook my head. “It’s nothing, as long as we’re somehow helping.”

Pinky smiled softly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I’m still anxious but I’m feeling okay now.”

“Yeah, I’m curious to see how your mom is holding up,”

Ava said as she sighed with a smile.

Pinky groaned, “she’s blowing up my phone, that’s what she’s doing,”

“Well, she’ll cancel the wedding at least.”

Pinky turned behind her and grabbed the coconut water I handed her earlier. The hot tub water moved and splashed when she turned around and sank herself in again. “She won’t,”

she finally said after popping the can open.

“What?”

Ava nearly exploded, “this is crazy, Pinky, you can’t go back.”

“I wish, but you know what mom is like, she’ll really get crazy—I left so I could at least have a few days to breathe before she throws me in a wedding dress and sells me off to a rich stranger to keep our family status.”

She sighed as her shoulders sagged. “Besides, I’m her only child. She wouldn’t rest until she dragged me back home.”

I blinked, finally registering what she said. For a second there I thought I misunderstood her, misheard her perhaps, because that couldn’t possibly be true. But each time I reply to the conversation in my mind again I hear the same thing. It was like playing a crossword puzzle and kept guessing the correct word but still doubted yourself.

“Your mother is setting you up for an arranged marriage?”

I blurted out.

Ava sniffed as she looked at me blankly, probably wondering why my reaction was so late.

Pinky nodded, “yep.”

“It’s the twenty-first century,”

my brows pulled together, “how is that even possible?”

Pinky took a sip of her drink. “Oh, it’s possible.”

“You should meet her mother,”

Ava replied.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to meet her.

“My family’s like one of those rich Indian families, and they’ve been doing this arranged marriage thing for years,”

Pinky began to explain, “that’s how my parents met actually, forced proximity, or whatever the cosmics want to call it, but here I am, their only child and they’re setting me up to follow their footsteps and marry blindly.”

“That’s awful,”

I muttered.

“That’s how they stay rich.”

Ava added. “Have you met him?”

Pinky’s eyes widened for a second but then she dropped her gaze, “once, at a business dinner. Our parents were finalizing everything.”

Pinky swallowed, “that’s when I left,” her eyebrows shot up as she laughed, “I told them I was going to use the ladies room and bolted. I didn’t even pack anything. I just came down here because I knew Ava was down here, and honestly I didn’t know how bad you were—” Pinky groaned and moved away from Ava who no doubt stopped her from saying something personal.

Ava grabbed her coconut water. “Only you would come all the way out here instead of standing up to your mother.”

Pinky rolled her eyes. “You know how scary she is, Ava, you’ve known her for years.”

Ava and Pinky were best friends. They were around the same age, a couple years younger than me—but it was shocking to hear that arranged marriage still existed. I would’ve bolted out of that room too, except maybe I’d never come back. But then again, I didn’t know it meant to have a mother that had expectations of you, and a goal to deliver and make your entire family proud by keeping a tradition going. No, I couldn’t really sit here and tell her to abandon her family and figure life out like I had to.

“How are you going to explain yourself when you get back?”

I asked curiously.

Pinky shrugged. “I won’t have to. Only my mother knows I’m gone, she’ll cover up and come up with a lie and tell everyone I came down with something because she doesn’t like telling anyone anything about our family. And I know she won’t mind, as long as I’m back, that’s all she cares about. She’ll pretend like this never happened.”

Ava chuckled as she chugged the rest of her coconut water. “It’s not her first rodeo,”

she said as she wiped her mouth.

“Well, since there’s no way out of this marriage, for all it’s worth, I hope you two fall in love.”

Ava cleared her throat. “No, you got it all wrong!”

she said as she pointed at me, “we hope he dies quickly and leaves Pinky a hot, young widow who can remarry whomever she pleases.”

My brows furrowed and I slowly turned to look at Pink who was smiling as she stared at Ava. “Can you remarry after that?”

She shook her head. “No, but I can probably have a boyfriend on the down low or have a secret affair after my husband dies.”

“You two are something else,”

I said as I grabbed my coconut water to take a sip.

Clay was sound asleep and Cal was still down at the beach. After the girls and I got out of the hot tub we each took a shower and had dinner—Cal ordered take out. We watched movies and played a couple board games. Callum was glad to see Pinky in a better mood—one that didn’t involve crying. By the time it got late, Cal left to go down at the beach and said he’d come back before I went to bed.

That was nearly forty-eight minutes ago. It was freezing out and I was afraid Jack Frost paid him a visit.

I stood by the window in my nightgown and waited to at least see a glimpse of a shadow but when I realized I wouldn’t see anything, I grabbed my coat and started to make my way down the beach.

On my way, I couldn’t help but focus on how much Callum meant to me at this point. Months ago, he was just a stranger—someone who was soon to be an uncle to a baby he had no idea existed—he was going to be the nice, handsome man who helped achieve my dreams for a change. That was all he was months ago, and now? Now I couldn’t even go to sleep without knowing he was safe. I couldn’t sleep if he wasn’t at my side or at least in the same room or area as me. I lived for his warmth, his kindness, and his genuine love for me.

I sniffed as I walked faster. The sand wore me down—it was almost like snow, cold and deep. All I could think about was reaching Callum, I didn’t care about anything else. I wanted to hold him and thank him…I’d scratched every scenario where I ended up getting the fairy tale story in my mind, and he came in unbeknownst and rewrote everything.

Callum. The guy I knew long before I knew what love could possibly mean. Our paths crossed for a brief amount of time during our childhood but to him it looked like it made an impact. I made a difference to him. He held onto me, memories of me that I had long forgotten. He loved me through those memories, he searched for me through those memories—hell, he held onto them for as long as he could—until he found me again.

He found me again.

He brought me back.

I didn’t know what it was about this stupid town, but ever since I found Callum, he made me want to live like I hadn’t lived before. I wanted that life where I owned an almost-dying business, but I got to come home to him every night. Callum and his cooking—and that damn apron. I could just see that life ahead of me like I’d touched a thread connected to my future—all the future lives I could live. But in all possibilities, I wanted it to be Callum. I wanted to come home to him and our Clay every night. Good or bad day.

My chest tightened as a harsh breeze picked up. I wrapped the coat tighter around me and picked up my pace.

I really needed to hold Callum.

It was freezing outside. Callum was insane to still be out here in this weather and this dark at night. It was a full moon, which meant the night was actually shining, but in the water it didn’t matter how bright or high the moon was at its peak, it would always be dark and scary.

I walked down the beach until I saw a pile of clothes.

His pile of clothes.

I shook my head in horror as I looked out in the water and there he was.

Callum was standing far out in the water—he wasn’t swimming, he was just standing there.

Cal was really insane to swim in these conditions, and I guessed I didn’t know any better either—I released a heavy breath and dropped my coat down in the sand and shimmied myself out of my nightgown.

I didn’t want to walk back with cold wet clothing so it was best if stripped like he did.

I dropped it next to his discarded clothes and walked in the water with clenched teeth.

I took deep breaths to trick my body into relaxing itself because that’s what cold was all about.

If you could learn how to make your body relax—taking deep breaths—it wouldn’t feel as cold.

Cal wasn’t far out, but he was far enough for the water to cover his lower half. The water was starting to feel less cold the longer I spent in it. It was the icy air that was an issue now, it felt colder than the water.

I sighed when I finally reached Callum. “Do you have a death wish?”

My lips shook from the cold as I spoke. It felt like we were doing a remake of Titanic.

“Juliette.”

Callum’s eyes widened, “what are you doing here?” He looked around me, as he slowly dropped his hands on my shoulder and pulled me closer near him. His chest flexed with the actions and my eyes followed the subtle movement. My eyes slowly dropped down to his waist, the wave was bobbing near his waist. It almost felt like a tease when the tide drew back and I got flashed with his V line. I licked my lips subconsciously as the water pushed back again and there it was…His waistline, the happy trail. My eyes slowly trailed up again as I got a better look of his glistening six-pack under the moon.

Maybe he wasn’t insane for coming out here under these conditions after all.

“Juliette?”

His voice softened as he lowered his head to meet my gaze.

I smiled. “To keep you company, of course. Why are you here?”

I said as I felt the tide pick up and the water pushed forward. In his arms, causing my breasts to bounce. Callum caught me in time and held me down at my side, I was still close.

His eyes dropped on my chest. My lower half was covered but not my chest. And my hair was certainly not long enough to cover my breasts. Goosebumps rose over my skin as I caught the arch of his brow as he swallowed thickly. His lips parted open to say something, but he was still finding the words—still recovering from my exposed chest.

“You’ll catch a cold out here,”

he finally said as he pulled me in, like he was some sort of blanket. He was the closest thing to one though. He was as warm as he looked. I pressed a hand against his rigid abs and relaxed into his hold.

“Why are you out here Cal?”

I asked silently.

He licked his lips as he finally looked at my face. “I was thinking—”

Cal blew out a breath as he sighed, he looked up and stared at the moon, “honestly, since I found out about everything, my head has been a mess. I’ve always doubted myself but it’s…it’s worse now,” he said.

“I haven’t had a second, so I came out here to think.”

I blinked and turned to look at the moon as well. Cal still had his hand around my lower back, but we both faced the moon now. I saw the soft tide ahead under the moon, pulling back and forth. The tide were controlled by the moon, it was at least drawn to it—that’s why we did crazy things during a full moon. Some sort of energy flowed downwards, and the release was through us. Like the moon’s gravitational pull with the earth, I gravitated towards Callum. My energy was naturally transferred to him and my energy affected him, like the moon’s energy affected the tides, like some weird nature balance. I glanced at Callum. He was still looking at the moon.

“Love flows downwards,”

I admitted. “It’s like a source that gets passed down, you know?” My brows furrowed softly as I thought about it.

These high tides were the cause and effect of the moon’s energy. Nature’s love was flowing downwards. Like a lion with a cub, humans with plants, parents with their babies. Love naturally flowed downwards and I never thought about it that way—it seemed impossible to pass down something you knew nothing of. It was like meeting imaginary standards you knew nothing of.

I thought about how I ended up with Christian, how familiar his love felt when it got worse. I was used to that, and when you’re used to something, it didn’t matter how toxic or terrible it is to you, it takes you a while to realize that.

You don’t always notice the damage it’s done to you until it’s gone.

I didn’t deserve that — it didn’t matter if I was an orphan or someone who’s been alone my whole life — isolated from everyone or an alien from space — still, I didn’t deserve something like that, it wasn’t the kind of love anyone deserved. It was funny because it was harder to convince myself of that part than accepting poor treatment because deep down I believed that was all I would ever get. Because that was all I felt deserving of.

“I used to be scared because I never knew what it felt like to be loved as a kid so I wouldn’t know how to pass it down. We didn’t have that kind of nurturing love, you know? I always thought I’d end up doing the same thing to my kids out of resentment. Because it’s easy to keep doing what you’re used to.”

I turned to look at Callum, “but I can already tell it’s not that way for us.” His eyes dropped to my face and our eyes locked. “You’re an amazing dad, Cal, I meant it when I said it the first time and I mean it when I said it just now.” I placed my cold hand against his cheek, but he didn’t flinch, he just leaned into my touch. “Our love for Clay is already flowing down.”

He smiled. Cal leaned down, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me in against him. I released a small breath and wrapped my arms around him—I wanted to do that all night. To hold him and feel his warmth. There was a soft hum in my heart as I held his warm body close to mine. I closed my eyes as I relaxed, it felt like I was siphoning energy out of him. Like I was touching my love thread. He felt warm, promising and loving.

“I can’t believe you came all the way out here to tell me that,”

he said quietly.

I smiled as I gently pushed his shoulder. “It’s a full moon, we all act a little crazy today—look at you, you’re in the water in this weather?”

I laughed.

He laughed as he pulled away. His head fell back like what I said was really funny, but it probably wasn’t because I felt it too, that settling feeling in my stomach, that voice in my head, and loud thud from my heart. It was all saying one thing. It was all begging me to say one thing

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I could chant it a million times and never get bored of saying it.

I was sure he felt it too—that undeniable pull between us, the chemistry, the love, that crazy need to admit everything all at once out loud. That’s what he was laughing about. A deep realization. In this moment he felt it. How much he truly loved me—I felt the same way, watching him laugh so hard over something really stupid I said. It made me smile, and it made me want to keep making him laugh.

It warmed my heart. It ignited some sort of fire in my heart.

Callum cupped my cheeks as he stepped in closer in front of me, his laugh slowed, and he was only smiling now. I gently wrapped my hand around his wrist as I tilted my head to the side, leaning into his warmth.

God, I’ve never felt anyone so warm.

“You’re the kind of girl who’s name people catch in a conversation,”

he admitted softly.

My eyes glazed over his. “What do you mean?”

“You’re the woman men write poems about, the woman men would go to war for, you’re the woman men would burn the world for so long as you’re left untouched. You’re a religious icon and I’d follow you to the end of the earth, as your pet, your slave, your lover, anything.”

He spoke softly—so soft and desperate I could feel everything he felt as if we were one and the same.

Goosebumps crawled up my skin as his words sank in. Somehow, I felt powerful enough to do everything he described, to take over the world and have every man in the world worship me as their god or their Messiah, but I didn’t want every man in the world at my feet…just one, Callum Oakes. And he was already there. At my feet with his warmth and his love. All that he was, he’s given me that much and I planned to give him all that I am.

“Shut up,”

I managed to mutter under my breath as I stood on my tippy toe and pressed my cold lips over his shockingly warm ones.

He was warm.

Everything I’ve ever wanted, everything everyone dreamed about. Perfect, handsome, kindhearted, sweet and caring. Callum Oakes.

He was my end and beginning.

My brows pressed together as our kiss intensified—I held his wrists tighter as he brought my face closer and kissed me deeper. He tilted my head back a nudge as he pushed his tongue into my mouth with a soft whimper. He wanted me just as bad as I wanted him. He tasted just as sweet as he was, his full lips soft and inviting.

I caught his bottom lip in between my teeth with a soft, lustful smile. He maneuvered his hands around my jaw and held my face up with one hand as he pressed his thumb under my jaw and pushed my head back, this time with a little force as he caught me with his other hand cupping my ass. His breath was ragged, and his kiss was more intense now.

More passionate and desperate.

I moaned into his mouth as I rested my hands over his shoulder, my body was on fire—most of all, my nipples were as hard as pebbles brushing against his chest, and the small friction it created was driving me crazy.

Cal pulled me closer against him.

God, even in these conditions, in the coldest water I’d ever felt, Callum was the hardest he’s ever been.

Callum pushed my head back as he kissed my jawline, and I gasped during the process, feeling his hand move from my ass to cup my breast. He wasn’t planning on letting me catch a break, no, he was going to fuck me right now. Under the full moon, in the ocean.

Overcome with emotions and everything I felt for Callum, I released a small breath as I caught his face and held him close, he smiled as his hands trailed over my body. I brought his face forward and connected our foreheads as our breath synched. We were both struggling to breathe, and I was having a hard time containing how much I truly felt for him.

How much I loved him. How obsessed I was with him. Hell, I’d touched our future thread. I’d seen how I could live with him, and I didn’t want to live without him.

I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.

“I love you,”

I whispered in his arms.

“Me?”

he asked in shock, “all that I am? The way I am?”

I gently cupped his face, and looked into his eyes. “You put the sun in my heart, Callum,”

I smiled, “how could I not love you when you turned my whole life around and brought light into my heart?” I said as I trailed my arms around his neck and embraced him, “my world is brighter and beautiful because of you.”