Candle In The Wind

Chapter Sixty Seven

The First Noel

Clay’s very first Christmas, and Juliette dressed him as a snowman.

In fact, we were all snowmen.

We were expecting Ardley to come over soon but for now it was just us.

And that damn iPhone camera.

My smile lines would triple once I started aging because of the amount of smiling I’d been doing all afternoon.

Juliette found an issue with every photo we took.

Soon, if she kept this up, my fear of small elves would be replaced by iPhone cameras.

I silently thanked the lord once Clay started crying—we’d been taking home-style family photos for what felt like four hours now.

We moved him all around for different poses and angles all day.

Juliette cooed as she gently swayed with Clay in her arms.

I sighed in relief as I dropped down on the couch.

I started to heat up under my snowmen outfit and it didn’t help that the heater was on—only a couple hours ago, it was freezing since it was snowing outside.

“I think we’re good, he’s tired and hungry,”

Juliette said as she dropped down on the couch next to be, she unzipped her snowman onesie, but just at the top, enough to be able to breastfeed Clay.

At the same time, the smell of cinnamon started to fill the house—I almost forgot I was making cinnamon rolls.

We already had breakfast this morning, and for dinner we agreed on getting some takeout from wherever that was open on Christmas.

So, for the time being, I made us homemade cinnamon rolls—well I bought a couple Pillsbury rolls, but who’d be able to tell the difference? Certainly not us who spent the whole night up with Clay.

Juliette insisted we gave Florence the holidays off—Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Now, not only were we suffering the consequences of being a just person, but we might have to eat burnt cinnamon rolls.

I quickly stood and rushed to the kitchen.

What was once the sweet smell of cinnamon was now a harsh, acrid, smoky smell with the faint scent of the cinnamon that lingered.

I pulled out the tray from under the oven, and just as I expected, they were half-burnt and half-saved.

I sighed under my breath as I closed the oven and dropped the mittens on the counter.

In the living room I could hear Juliette’s hum, and I knew she must’ve been swaying side to side as she rocked Clay.

I pulled out my phone and texted Ardley.

Cal: if you’re still coming, bring some warm cinnamon rolls.

“Cal!”

Juliette called out, and I could almost hear the good news in her voice. “I have some cinnamon rolls from the shop, we could just warm it up here.”

I walked back to the living room.

I sighed as I shook my head. “The weather’s not too good outside, I think Ardley’s coming by anyway, I told him to bring cinnamon rolls.”

The weather wasn’t too bad outside, but Juliette didn’t know how to drive with snow tires yet. I didn’t want to leave her at house alone with Clay in case of any emergency and it was too cold to have her come with, plus the whole ritual of getting Clay—who was probably just as exhausted—along for the ride. Plus, I hadn’t had the chance to shovel the driveway and dig our cars out.

“Ardley can drive out in these conditions, but we can’t.”

She sent me a long look.

“Ardley was already out. We aren’t,”

I said, then an idea popped into my head. “Wait, are you still hiding that emergency key under the plant next to the door at your shop?”

Juliette hesitated before nodding, knowing I told her to stop doing that weeks ago. It wasn’t safe. Anyone with a brain cell could break in at any time. It was the most obvious spot to hide a key these days. But I brushed off everything I just thought of as I pulled my phone out and sent Ardley another text.

Cal: scratch that, just stop by Juliette’s shop and get the cinnamon rolls from there. The emergency key is under the plant next to the front door.

I sighed as I sent in the text.

I looked up and caught the sight of Juliette zipping herself up again, Clay fell asleep while breastfeeding.

I smiled as I rubbed my hands together. “You ready for presents?”

Juliette smiled as she nodded and slowly stood, making her way down the hall until she reached Clay’s room. She was no doubt putting him to bed. Though, I knew we would regret it tonight when it was time to sleep.

We woke up late from struggling with Clay all night. Honestly if last night had taught me anything it was to be more appreciative of Florence.

We haven’t had the time to open presents yet because after breakfast Juliette wanted to get the photos done before we got too comfortable and ended up falling asleep on the sofa with Clay in between us as a Christmas movie played on the TV.

My phone pinged, and I pulled it out of my back pocket hoping to see a confirmation text from Ardley but it was a text from mother. She was still dropping by to see Clay, and of course she wouldn’t come empty-handed. I loved my mother, but I needed to eat those cinnamon rolls before she got here. I needed that kind of energy. Right when I started typing Ardly a text he finally replied.

Ardley: Alright, I’ll be there soon.

I wondered if my mother was with him as well, since he came down from New York for his brief stay, he’s staying at our parents’ estate, it wouldn’t be too crazy if they showed up together.

Juliette finally approached me as I pushed my hair back with a long exhale.

“You okay?”

she asked as she pressed her hand over my chest. Her eyes were low and sunken, just one night with Clay did all of this, imagine every night? Serious props to all the moms out there, I didn’t know mothers were truly magical.

I nodded. “I don’t know why but I’m really craving those cinnamon rolls,”

I said as I remembered the two rolls of Pillsbury I wasted. I should’ve bought more. I would have been able to start a new batch.

“I could try and make some,”

Juliette said, “I caught a glimpse of the process when Bailey and Ben-Ben were making a batch the other night—”

I quickly shook my head. That sounded fun but I didn’t want to ask that of her today. “We’re doing presents, remember?”

She quickly nodded. “Right, me first!”

she said eagerly as she moved past me and walked towards the tall Christmas tree.

Our decor was classic, no multi-color lights, just the old, classic, warm white lights. Our ornaments consisted of transparent bubble-like ornaments and some red and golden shatterproof assorted ornaments—all different shapes and everything. Juliette added red bows all around the tree and our star was a Pottery Barn gold star. It was shiny and hollow, and it came together really nicely with the tree. We went with one theme for the wrapping paper, which was this red, silky cloth-like material. I didn’t even know we could do that—wrap presents with silk. It was the most materialistic thing anyone could ever do, and I guess I was one of those people now.

I had to learn now to wrap my gifts myself because I didn’t want to risk showing Juliette her gifts—the tree was full of presents, half were for Clay if Juliette and I combined everything we got him together. Juliette pulled out two boxes from under the tree, she bit her lips as she smiled, walking back towards me. I arched a brow as I walked towards the couch and slowly took a seat. Juliette handed me the two red boxes with all the excitement she could probably muster up in her tired state. It felt like the best we could do for Christmas was sleep.

But I smiled as I looked up at her, pretending to be guessing what could possibly be in this small, familiar box. I opened the box and saw the black material, I set the other box down and looked at Juliette curiously. “What is it?”

I chuckled nervously. She shrugged as she grinned, waiting for me to solve the mystery myself. I slowly started pulling the black material out—honestly I was expecting a watch and the box could deceive me enough to lead me to believe it was a watch but it wasn’t, my brows pulled together as I slowly started registering what it could be as I held it upside down. I began to chuckle deeply as I flipped it and realized it was an apron. I turned around as I grinned as I looked at it, it was a checklist.

Dad.

Daddy.

Daddiest.

The only one checked off was Daddiest. In large print too—well it didn’t take up the whole apron, but it was printed well enough that anyone could read it. I tilted my head back as I laughed—I couldn’t believe it, this was perfect.

Maybe this was a sign from above or the universe or whatever the fuck was out there—surely it was a sign. I should start an apron collection. In my peripheral vision I saw one of the elves next to the TV stare directly into me as I looked up at Juliette.

“I love it,”

I chuckled softly, “it’s perfect.”

“Open the other one!”

she said as she clapped, still stalking over me while I sat on the couch. I nodded as I reached for the rectangular box, surely that would be the watch. I unwrapped the nicely wrapped gift and opened it and what I thought would be a watch was a long ticket, one that looked a lot like the golden ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I carefully read the ticket, instead of saying golden ticket like the one from the movie, it just said movie ticket. I blinked as I looked up at Juliette.

“You can cash it out anytime for a movie date,”

she explained, “you, me, and Jacks, just like the first time,” she said excitedly, “this was one of his Christmas gifts from me as well!”

I smiled thinking of a way to use it wisely. “Wait, if Jacks cashes his out first, mine wouldn’t count as well, right?”

She nodded. “You each get a chance, so technically, you get to go twice. Whoever cashes their tickets out picks the movie.”

I nodded. “I love it!”

I grinned as I pulled her into my lap. All of sudden my gifts felt useless and less creative than hers. Now I was nervous to know if she’d like any of the gifts.

“One more,”

she whispered against my cheek before she pulled out a box behind her while she was still in my lap like some sort of magician.

“Whoa,”

I chuckled as I grabbed the gift from her.

“Thank you for all that you’ve done for me. I love you so much.”

She leaned down as she pressed a kiss against my cheek.

I smiled as I closed my eyes savoring the moment. This kind of affection still brought so much warmth to my heart. This kind of love coming from Juliette—God, I could never get used to it. I smiled as I kissed her cheek.

“You’re a sweetheart,”

I said as I hugged her momentarily before she pushed me off and told me to focus on opening my present.

I opened the box, and my eyes widened with surprise when I saw the watch, a Movado Calendoplan S series. I blinked. I wasn’t surprised or impressed because the watch was what I wanted or anything…I was just expecting it, and twice now I didn’t get the watch, so it felt like I was being pranked. This was one of the most gorgeous pieces I’d ever seen. I felt bad because it must’ve cost quite a bit, and it was all because I’ve been hanging out in the closet way too often hiding out from those evil elves that were slowly taking over the house. So, of course, I felt guilty because it probably seemed like I really wanted a new watch when in reality I was hiding.

“It’s not a Rolex but—”

I whipped my head around to look at her, as I shook my head. “Don’t do that.”

I quickly started taking off my Rolex to replace it with my new hot watch my gorgeous girlfriend had gotten me.

“Wait—”

she interrupted, “flip it over.” she suggested with a small smile on her lips.

And as she asked, I flipped the watch and at the back of it instead of the regular brand names and small prints I saw our initials, C.C.J.

Callum, Clay, Juliette.

Then two fingerprints followed, Clay’s small finger—which I could always recognize—and Juliette’s print next to his. And to top it off, I brought the watch closer in front of my face as I read the engraved words.

We love you, always.

“No way,”

I whispered under my breath.

I was fucked, I was not this creative with my gifts. Not at all.

That was so impressive and it meant the absolute world to me.

“Do you like it?”

she asked after a beat.

Like it?

Like it?

“Best gift I’ve ever received in my whole entire life!”

Yes, this topped the Wrangler I got for my sixteenth birthday.

I smiled as I pulled Juliette into a hug. “I love you. Thank you so much baby!”

She smiled as she hugged me back.

“My turn!”

I said as I fixed the watch on my wrist. I extended a hand out to Juliette. She grabbed my hand as she stood, and on our way towards the door I grabbed the folder close to it and tucked it in the pocket of my coat.

“Is it outside?”

she asked curiously. I shrugged as I pretended not to know.

I looked at Juliette as I wrapped the coat over her shoulder, then I leaned down and grabbed her boots, placing them in front of her feet. I helped her put on her boots then slowly pulled myself back up and smiled as I untucked her hair from under the coat. My hand glided down her arm until I reached her hand and grabbed it. I walked towards the door and opened it with her right behind me.

“Close your eyes,”

I demanded as we slowly walked outside, and as requested, Juliette closed her eyes and followed me outside.

The snow was crunchy under our feet, each footstep loud and forceful. It was colder than it was the first night it snowed. I needed to shovel the driveway before it could snow again today, otherwise, we might actually get snowed in. My horses and all other farm animals were all safe inside the stable. We reached the garage, and I used the app on my phone to get it to open. And as the door slowly went up, I turned to Juliette who was squeezing my hands like crazy.

“You can open your eyes now,”

I said as I watched Juliette opened her eyes and immediately squealed once she came face to face with her Christmas present.

“No way!”

I grinned as I nodded.

“Cal! No way!”

she shouted again, this time in a more high-pitched tone.

I slowly pulled the new car key from my coat pocket and handed it to Juliette.

She placed a hand over her lips, still processing.

I had gotten her a red truck, almost identical to the one she had but with all the upgrades. I even had snow tires for her.

“It’s gorgeous!”

She gushed as she walked towards her brand new truck. I smiled as I looked at Juliette proudly. She looked so happy I almost couldn’t contain myself.

She grinned as she ran into my arms. “Oh, Cal,”

she hummed, “this is so much—much more than I deserve,” she said as she shivered once the wind picked up.

I held her tight as I rested my chin over her shoulder. “Trust me, Juliette, you deserve way more than this.”

The wind picked up again and I slowly pulled away. “Let’s go back inside, I have something else to give you.”

Her eyes widened. “Something else?”

I nodded. “Let’s get inside first.”

The second we stepped foot inside, I helped Juliette out of her coat and boots and then I finally slowly pulled out the folder that was in the pocket of my coat. I didn’t know why I was nervous, but I was.

What if she didn’t like it? I thought of my new favorite watch that would surely never leave my wrist.. Her gifts had been meaningful and witty whereas my gifts were starting to feel materialistic. Like I was just flashing my money around like some pretentious douchebag, making it loud and clear that I was extremely well off.

“Well?”

Juliette rubbed her hands as she stepped in closer in front of me, her eyes lit with curiosity. She seemed almost giddy, or maybe she was still reeling from the cold weather outside as she rubbed her hands together.

Reluctantly, and slowly, I finally handed her the folder. She smiled brightly as she grabbed it and opened it, her eyes glossing over the words as she read the documents as fast as she could. Her mouth dropped open as she took a step back. “No way,”

she barely whispered.

No, they weren’t adoption papers for Clay. Ardley, Daniel, Juliette, and I already had a meeting, and sat down with my dear brother and signed all of Clay’s parental rights to Juliette and I—which nullified their surrogacy contract with Juliette. So now, legally, we were Clay’s biological and legal parents.

But Juliette still clamped a hand over her lips. “Callum…”

she said, her voice muffled by her own hand.

She looked up at me with furrowed brows and I wanted to reach out and smooth the lines it created. But I stopped myself as I smiled, enjoying her innocent reaction.

“This is land…acres and acres of land,”

she said as she read the paper again, still in disbelief, she looked up at me again. “You’re giving me a huge chunk of land for Christmas?” she asked with a serious look on her face. Yes, this was very unusual, handing people papers for the holidays always felt like more work than a gift—but this gift wasn’t supposed to stress Juliette out or have her work any more than she was already working. This was supposed to provide her tranquility. A safe space.

I slowly shook my head. “It’s not just land, Julie,”

I said in a soft tone, “remember our first date? On that hill, under the tree you said you wanted that place. And I agreed.”

Her lips parted open as she blinked. Maybe at a loss for words?

She had just given me three amazing Christmas gifts that were no doubt the best presents I’d ever received. The trucks and the land felt kind of underwhelming in comparison. I just wanted to help out, I know her old truck was nearly breaking down, she was still having trouble with her AC from time to time—and as for the land I had given her, I saw that look in her eyes that night. It looked like she’d been holding in a lot of conflicted emotion and that night she was relaxed, like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

I wanted her to have access to that kind of peace forever. I wanted her to have something to hold onto whenever she felt like those days where all she did was lay in bed without any drive to do anything but just lay there. I couldn’t permanently get rid of those kinds of days for her, no matter how much I wish I could, I couldn’t, so I felt like this was the least I could do.

“Callum, I was kidding,”

she said, looking absolutely horrified. “I need to stop kidding,” she mumbled under her breath, I barely heard it but she said it and I laughed.

“Do you remember?” I asked.

She nodded as her eyes softened. “Yeah. That night was the night I finally felt like I could breathe.”

She stepped closer in front of me and wrapped her arms around me as she hugged me. “Thank you,” she said in a small soft voice.

The flowery smell of her shampoo filled my nostrils as I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around her, holding her there for a couple minutes. Honestly, if I could hold her like this until tomorrow I would. I wanted to cherish her and protect her from everything that could possibly affect her well-being. Physically and emotionally.

“Merry Christmas, my love,”

I whispered against her hair as my eyes closed.

The lack of sleep was finally starting to get to me, and this is exactly why we needed those cinnamon rolls—a little sugar would’ve gone a long way. Juliette couldn’t drink any coffee since she was still breastfeeding and I didn’t drink any to keep things fair. We had all hopes on those cinnamon rolls to get through the day, but a shot of whipped cream could easily do the trick right about now.

“Merry Christmas,”

Juliette replied softly.

She still held onto me with the papers in her hand. It felt like she didn’t want to let go, just like I didn’t want to let go.

“Cal,”

she slowly called out as she moved an inch to look up at me with her chin resting against my chest.

“Mhm?”

“Does that mean, that place…the willow tree, it’s a private property now?”

she asked curiously as a smile slowly tugged at her lips.

I nodded. “Yes, page three, clause twenty-two; states anyone who goes beyond the warning signs and the fences that are being built will be fined,”

I recited, remembering all the countless calls with Daniel trying to get the contract right.

She blinked, completely amazed.

I took a step back and pulled away a little as I got a hold of her hand. “C’mon, let’s take a shot of whipped cream and watch a movie while we wait for Ardley to drop by with the cinnamon rolls.”

I said altogether.

Juliette hummed as her answer to my suggestion, she followed along until we reached the fridge and subconsciously, I looked down at the baby monitor and Clay was soundly asleep.

We were definitely going two for two for a sleepless night. I was starting to think we should take a nap after all—if we couldn’t get Clay to adjust to our schedule, we might as well adapt to his.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the whipped cream, pulling the top off and facing Juliette. I tilted her head back as I gently lifted her chin. “Open wide,”

I said, immediately catching the double meaning behind the words, the dirty innuendo. However, Juliette didn’t seem to catch that part. It must just be me, always in a constant state where I want to do things with Juliette, to Juliette. My thoughts were dirty. Simple as that.

Juliette complied and opened wide, I shook the whipped cream and poured some in her mouth until she was filled up.

There it was again. The sick innuendo.

She quickly closed her mouth as he tried to swallow it all at once but failed to do so as some of the whipped cream trailed down the side of her lips. Like a reflex, without even giving myself some time to process, I cupped her jaw and leaned down to her level and licked up the delicious residue from the whipped cream that leaked out from the side of her mouth. I didn’t think whipped cream always tasted that good, that sweet. Suddenly, I could live off whipped cream for the rest of my life if it meant I’d strictly licking it off Juliette.

She gasped as her eyes widened, my actions took her by surprise. Even I was surprised. I didn’t think about it—I just did it.

I slowly pulled away as I licked my lips, watching her tongue dart out to lick hers—mimicking my actions. She looked at me with a religious fervor, like she was waiting for me to do something as thrilling as that was again.

When I didn’t do or say anything next, she grabbed the whipped cream from my hand, “your turn,” she said.

I opened my mouth but instead of spraying the whipped cream into my open mouth she filled hers instead as she suppressed a smile. I grinned as I slowly shook my head, then leaned down and surprised her with a kiss on the lips. Juliette cleared her throat as she swallowed, rising on her tippy toes as she pushed herself up and pressed a kiss on my lips.

I released a heavy breath before wrapping my arms around her waist and flushed her against my chest, leaning down again and kissing her. This time with clear intentions to at least bend her over the island, I slowly turned around with her as I pressed her back against the edge of the counter, pushing my tongue into her mouth with a low ragged groan.

Juliette pushed the whipped cream on the counter and quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. She kissed me back with the same intensity, like she needed me as much as I needed her—which wasn’t nearly possible. No—I was obsessed with Juliette, every little noise she made, every trace, soft smiles, embrace, kiss, none of it went by unnoticed. I knew all her laughs by now, and I knew exactly how to get her to melt into my arms and that knowledge was going to be useful right about—I tensed at the sound of a familiar cough, and surely what was a cough began to sound like the start of a cry. Our moment was short-lived as Clay fussed over the monitor.

That was a quick nap.

I pulled away from Juliette—we were both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breath after almost having sex in the kitchen…on the island, next to the baby monitor and the creepy fucking elf.

I closed my hand around Juliette’s bicep as I pulled her in front of my chest again, this time I kissed her forehead. “I’ll go get him,”

I said, “get some grapes, we’ll watch a movie.” I nudged my head towards the fridge. Clay grew impatient as his cries changed to a different pitch, a higher, more demanding one.

Juliette and I passed out on the couch while watching The Holiday. Sometimes after calming down Clay, she had breastfed him again for a little bit, then we focused on the movie, but I guess we all fell asleep. Ardley and my mother dropped by and that woke us all up with the loud process of my mother handing out expensive presents and Ardley smashing all the pots and pans in the kitchen just to heat up the cinnamon rolls he had brought. My father didn’t stop by and to me that was the greatest gift he could’ve given me. Long after that, we all finished The Holiday together while eating the cinnamon rolls and Clay slept once more in my mother’s arms.