Canon (The Fortuna Dare Society #2)

Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

Canon Berns rushed around the kitchen of station house twenty-five, clamoring to clean up before the guys detected the smoke. He used a cereal box to fan the air toward the open window.

It isn’t working . Smoke lingered. He was going to catch such hell. He’d only been gone a few minutes to take a dump, and when he returned, the popcorn had caught fire.

The cereal box flopped open, flinging cornflakes over the floor and out the window. He blinked at the mess. Murphy’s law had it in for him today.

Throwing the popcorn bag in the sink, he doused it with water. Acrid tendrils wafted heavenward. He scooped up the soggy, burned blob and dropped it into a large black trash bag. He turned the ceiling fans onto high.

Canon groaned. Under the sink, he found Christmas air freshener and debated spraying it. He decided against it, thinking the fresh pine scent mixed with burnt popcorn might smell like a forest fire.

The inside of the ancient microwave could double for a NASA experiment. He sprayed glass cleaner and scrubbed, but it didn’t smell clean. The rank odor would assault anyone who opened the door.

Frantic, he whirled, then dug into the pantry. “Ah ha!” he said, spotting a gallon of apple cider vinegar.

Canon mixed water and vinegar in a coffee cup and stuck it in the microwave for five minutes.

A burst of guffaws met his ears. The crew talked with the chief in a conference room.

Canon gnawed his lip while pacing the open kitchen and living space.

A crash on his right startled him. A small black bird hopped on the floor next to a talking Deadpool action figure. The figure’s disconnected arm and sword lay beside the body. “My common sense is tingling,” it said.

“Great,” Canon grumbled. “Why did it have to be the chief’s favorite toy?” He picked up the pieces and returned them to the counter.

The bird pecked at the cereal.

Canon approached the bird, but it flew to the top of the refrigerator, streaking the front with poop. He used the push broom to sweep the cereal into a pile. As he collected it in the dustpan and dumped it in the trash bag, he considered shooing the bird with the broom.

When the microwave beeped, he glanced in without opening it. The steam should cleanse the innards. He hoped.

On this day of all days, everything that could go wrong did. Murphy’s Law sucks . He sighed and hurried past his crew, carrying the trash bag to the dumpster outside.

As he returned, the bird swooped down the hallway, diving into the conference room. “What the hell!” the chief bellowed.

Canon crept past the chaos and back into the kitchen. He wiped the counter and fridge with a lemon scented cleaner and then closed the window.

Canon hoisted his duffel onto his shoulder. “See ya,” he called to the guys. He waved, then rushed out the door.

Already behind schedule, Canon glanced at his watch and sighed. He hadn’t planned on showering at his apartment, but he had to get the burnt popcorn smell out of his nose and clothes. He took the stairs to the second level two at a time. At the top, he crashed into a petite woman.

Dressed in frumpy sweats and dark-rimmed glasses, she glanced up from the screen of her phone. She gasped and her hazel eyes widened.

“Dude, you bumped off me. Are you all right?” He stabilized her so she wouldn’t bounce down the stairs. One minute he had a girl in his arms, all softness and warmth, the next, she pulled away and his arms were empty. Easy come easy go .

“Sorry. I’m fine. Thanks,” she stammered, a blush blossoming. Her gaze raked his body, then a hint of a grin teased her full lips.

Canon tilted his head, inspecting her. “Are you sure you’re all right? You’re flushed.”

At this, she sucked in a breath and glanced anywhere but his eyes. “Just embarrassed. I’m fine.”

“Can I walk you to your door or car? I want to make sure you’re safe.”

She pressed her lips together and stared at the emblem on his squad T-shirt while pointing to the door across from his.

“Oh. We’re neighbors.” He lifted his hand in a friendly wave. “Howdy neighbor.”

She blinked and stepped closer to her apartment.

He stuck his hand out. “I’m Canon. Nice to meet you.”

“I’ll be…” She stuck the key in her lock, then, with a curt nod, disappeared inside.

As the door closed, he said, “See you around.” The door clicked into place without her saying a word.

“Huh? Must be shy.” Canon entered his apartment. He flung garments into the bathroom hamper. “Hey AImee. What’s the weather today?” His AI home assistant responded from her little white box on the kitchen counter. “Thank you, AImee.”

“You’re welcome, Canon. Would you like tomorrow’s forecast?” The computerized-feminine voice asked.

“Sure.” He twisted the tap and hopped into the water spray. “AImee, can you find me a soulmate?”

“Are you trying to shop for Sole Mate shoes?”

“No.” I wish it was that easy .

Canon showered, toweled off, dressed, and threw some clothes in a duffle.

As he left, he hollered, “AImee, turn off the light.” The kitchen light winked out. He took the stairs three at a time. Driving away, Canon glanced at his apartment to make sure he had turned off the bedroom light and swore his neighbor’s blinds shifted.

At the grocery, he filled his coolers with ice and bought the items assigned to him. He’d planned to get everything a day or two before, but Murphy’d had other ideas.

Once on the road, excitement surpassed everything the preceding days had thrown at him. He was over the station, his mysterious neighbor, traffic, renegade birds, and his inability to use a microwave. To heck with it all. He was going on an adventure. He was entering the world of fiction with his book club friends.