Capone

4. Erin

4

erin

“You mean to tell me that you ran into Naheim and you’re just now opening your mouth to say something!” Ryai nearly hollered.

“Can you stop being so loud?”

She sucked her teeth. “Girl, why the hell didn’t you run home and tell me soon as you ran into him?”

I tried on a denim halter top dress that I was planning on buying for tonight. Ryai had convinced me to come with her to a BBQ kickback that she had been invited to. It was a few blocks down from our block, so I caved and agreed to go.

We were at Kings Plaza in Zara trying to find something to wear. Summer was in full swing and that meant everybody was going to be out tonight. Ryai was lucky that I had the weekend off so I could accompany her to this party. I never went out to parties.

I was a homebody, and I preferred going to work and then coming home to climb under my blankets. Jaiden was spending the night at one of his teammates house this weekend because they had a game in Jersey.

“Um, hello?” Ryai reminded me that we were in fact having a conversation before I zoned out in my thoughts.

“I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t important.”

Ryai snatched opened the curtain. “Not important? Girl, he was the love of your life. I think you cried more for him than your damn parents.”

“Ryai,” I warned.

She realized she overstepped. “I’m sorry…but you were pretty distraught about him. Erin, you checked the damn mail every day for a year straight hoping to get a letter from him.

“And I never did so I moved on.” I murmured.

“Have you though?” She eyed me suspiciously.

“He’s married, Ryai.”

I don’t know why I let that little piece slip because her eyes became wider, and she flung the clothes in her hand around. “What the fuck?”

“We were teens back then. Life has happened and we both have moved on.”

As much as I wanted to believe that I never got the closure. I was forced to move on, forced to push on in life without ever knowing what happened to him. Grieving the death of my parents was already hard enough, but having to grieve someone that was alive was ten times harder.

“That’s what your mouth says, but I know you. I know that you would give him a second chance.”

“Did you miss the part that he’s married?”

Ryai eyed me down. “Like that would stop you.”

I held my hand up. “I am not about to bust up someone’s marriage because of some teenage love. It was good seeing him, but I am good.” I quickly got dressed. “I’m gonna get this dress.”

“You trying to turn necks in that dress. The way your ass was sitting up in that… I need to rethink my outfit,” Ryai slapped my ass on the way out of the dressing room.

My weight had finally came back, and I didn’t look like I was sick all the time. Only the Lord and my family knew what it took to finally be at a healthy weight. Losing my parents took a toll on my body and mind. People often thought grief was a mental and emotional process. It was very much a physical process, too. I lost so much weight that my aunt was shoving Ensures down my throat to get me to gain weight. Around the same time my hair was falling out in patches.

Jo put me in many different therapies and tried everything to help me. None of it worked because I wasn’t in the place to receive it. I had days when I was so torn up and sad about the death of my parents that I couldn’t eat because the thought of consuming something made me sick. Then others when I was angry at the world and about what happened. I’d never forget how scared my father was when he put that gun to his head and whispered, “Sorry,” before pulling the trigger.

Even as an adult, I struggled with trying to move on because I had no closure. Why would he do something like that? What were his reasons for feeling like he had to take my mother’s life and then his own?

“We going to pay or are you going to stare into thin air?”

“Yeah, I'm coming.” I shook off my thoughts, grabbed my purse and then followed Ryai to the front to pay.

Ryai dragged me all through Brooklyn to get her lashes done, waxed and then her nails done. I kept a simple French set because I was basic like that. Ryai was very over the top, so her nails always took two hours to do. By the time we made it back home I didn’t even want to go back out. I had the house to myself and didn’t have to worry about Jaiden. I wanted to sleep and order my favorite Chinese food.

My cousin knew how I was. I would lock my door, silence my phone, and pretend like I had fallen asleep. She forced me to get ready upstairs in her apartment.

I laid across her bed popping pieces of candy into my mouth while watching her debate over what she was wearing. Ryai had every pair of shoes pulled out of her closet.

“You do know it’s going to be in a backyard?” I reminded her.

She looked from one shoe to the next. “And I know the niggas are going to be out, so yeah, I'm about to step out tonight… you may want to reconsider what you’re wearing.” She looked over at my dress and sneakers.

I was wearing the halter top denim dress I purchased earlier with a fresh crisps pair of Air Force 1’s. I had curled my wig and put it up in pin curls so all I had to do was unpin it, swipe my fingers through the curls and I was ready to go.

“I’m dressed like someone who isn’t trying so damn hard. You’re going to be tripping all over the damn grass with those heels.” I tried to warn her.

Ryai was hardheaded and had been like that since we were kids. I’m surprised I had enough voice left after always yelling I told you so to her throughout our childhood.

Even as an adult she was still hardheaded and never listened. When me and Jo tried to give her advice, she wanted nothing to do with it. Ryai chose to work as a bartender in a strip club in the Bronx when she could have had a city job like mine.

“Anyway, since you have his number why haven’t you reached out to him?” Ryai was still on the subject of Naheim, and I had been finished with the conversation and had long moved on from it.

As much as I wanted to sit down and have a conversation with him about what he had been up to, it wasn’t on my immediate to do list. So much time had passed that I wasn’t sure if I even wanted the closure. What would it do? He was now married with his own life, and I had my own life now. We were two teens who had found solace in one another many moons ago.

“I’m not going to reach out to him. Can we drop the subject?”

“I can’t drop the subject because I know how much he means to you.”

“How much he used to mean to me,” I corrected.

Ryai was such a sucker for a second chance love reconnection that she was forgetting that this man was married. He wasn’t the same Naheim that would pop up on my aunt’s porch with a sandwich and something to drink for me.

We had both grown and the only thing that could come out of our situation was a friendship. “How do you know he’s happy with his wife?”

“Not my problem. Can we just go out tonight and have a good time?”

Ryai heaved a sigh while holding up a dress to her chest. “Okay. I guess I should be appreciative that you’re even going out tonight.”

“Yes, you should.” I cut my eyes at her and went to take a shower. The longer I sat there, the more she would continue to bring up Naheim and I wasn’t in the mood to talk about him.

The warm summer breeze whipped past us as we made our way onto the block. You could hear and feel the music from blocks away. The smell of weed and barbeque caressed my nostrils as we walked further onto the block.

“Erin, damn slow the hell down,” Ryai complained as she tried to keep up with me in the heels she was so adamant on wearing tonight.

I slowed down right before we came up on the stoop filled with a bunch of niggas. Some of them were leaned against their cars or shooting dice. The minute we walked past them I knew one of them would call out for either of us and I wasn’t in the mood to argue one of them down because I wasn’t interested. I just wanted to grab a plate, have a drink, and enjoy the music.

“How are your feet hurting already? We only walked three blocks.”

“Try walking three blocks in six-inch heels… shit, I can’t be walking past them like my feet hurt.” She rotated her ankle and tried to stand up straight.

I would never understand why Ryai was so damn extra. She could have worn a cute pair of sandals with the dress she wore. Instead, she chose to wear these damn heels that were hurting her feet. When she finally got herself together, we walked past the stoop and like I expected the catcalling commenced.

“Yerrr, shorty with the jean dress on… come here real quick!” one guy yelled as I continued walking.

It was Ryai who was all in his damn face when we were supposed to be ignoring them. “He’s cute, Erin… and he’s leaned up against that BMW.”

“You wanted me to come to this party, not talk to random ass men.”

Ryai waved me off as we came up on the house the party was being held at. Everybody was either chilling in the front of the house or coming from the backyard with a plate of food. The weather was perfect tonight because it wasn’t too hot and cool enough to catch a slight breeze while chilling out front.

“Aye, brownskin… let me holla at you for a minute,” a light skin man called out to us, while sitting on the stoop with a plate in his hands.

Ryai had all her damn teeth on display. What ever happened to playing hard to get? She was making it way too easy. “Which one? We’re both brownskin.”

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms. “You, mama… come here,” he licked his lips and Ryai was almost out her heels running toward him.

“Ryai,” I whispered while yanking onto her arm.

She groaned. “He’s cute… we’re here. Mingle, Erin… go get a plate of food or something.” She snatched her arm and maintained her balance while walking over toward him.

As much as I loved my cousin, this was the reason that I never went out with her. The minute she got a few drinks into her, or a man came around she started acting funny and acting like I didn’t exist. I was always left sitting alone looking stupid.

Like now, she was strutting over there to go smile in this man’s face like we hadn’t come together. If I rolled my eyes one more time, I was sure I would give myself a damn headache. It wasn’t like I couldn’t find somebody to sit and talk to.I didn’t want to sit and talk to nobody. Besides Ryai and my aunt, I didn’t have any other friends. They were all I had, and I preferred it that way.

Dating never went right for me. I had gone on a few dates and even had a boyfriend or two throughout the years. None of those relationships lasted because I was too scared to open up to someone. Giving someone a piece of my heart seemed like too much to ask. I was better off being single than trying to force something that I knew would never work out.

I went into the backyard to get some food. Ryai had ten minutes with light skin before I was pulling her ass away. If she wanted to spend the night in his face, then I was going the hell home.

I don’t know how it was possible, but the backyard was filled to the brim with even more people. Between the smoke from the grill, the games of spades going on, and people just sitting around listening to the old school hip-hop that was blaring from the oversized speakers, it was a packed house.

There were a few people waiting on a line at the grill, so I got behind them. I couldn’t believe Ryai had me back here alone. These were her peoples, not mine. I didn’t even know who party this was, and she had me back here getting a plate of food.

“What you want?” the rude ass dark skin man with yellow teeth sucked his teeth.

“Give me chicken, potato salad and a cheese burg…burger,” I stammered, caught off guard by his attitude.

What the hell he had an attitude about? All these people were here because of the party he was throwing.

“Alright… go settle up with her.” He pointed to the woman over near a cash box.

Here I thought the food was free and these bitches were selling the shit. I promised when I got hold of Ryai I was going to stomp on her pinky toe. She made the party seem like it was going to be some chill and cool shindig, and it was the complete opposite.

“I…I don’t have cash. Do you take card?”

He chuckled. “Girl, get the fuck off my line. Do I look like the damn corner store?”

“First of all, watch your fucking mouth,” I snapped, pissed that he was even coming at me the way he was.

“Unless you want to suck me off for this plate… get the fuck on.” He paused, looking down at me with a wink. “Unless—”

“Unless you want me to slam your face down on that fucking grill, give her the fucking plate.” The deep voice that sounded from behind me caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise.

“M…my bad, Capone… you good.” The man was singing a different tune now. All that smart ass shit he was saying went out the window. “Here… take the plate… it’s on me.”

“Nigga, she don’t need your charity.” He finally came into view, towering over me.

He peeled off a few bills from the knot of money in his hand and tossed the shit in the man’s face. “My bad, I didn’t know that…th…”

“You want anything else?” He ignored the man and turned his attention toward me.

My eyes finally dragged from the embarrassed asshole up to the man the voice belonged to. Soon as our eyes met, I was captivated by them. They were so mysterious and piercing.

“No, I'm good. I can cash app you the money,” I offered.

He offered me a half smile. “Don’t insult me, Gorgeous.”

I accepted my wrapped up plate and soda and stood next to him not knowing what else to say or do. He ordered him a plate of food and the man behind the grill damn near broke his neck to make it in record timing.

“Thank you… can I please pay you back?” I offered again when we stepped away from the grill.

We stood in the only empty spot in the backyard. “Like I told you… don’t insult me. I got you.”

Everything about this man’s presence screamed dominance. From his dark skin to the tattoos that covered every visible part of his body, and his perfectly lined up dark taper fade. His beard had to be my favorite part, because it was perfectly trimmed, showcasing those beautiful pinkish lips. I couldn’t help myself from watching him as he nonchalantly ate his food.

It wasn’t like I could do it discreetly either. He had to be at least 6’5 from the way he towered over both me and the asshole at the grill. Who am I kidding? He towered over most of the people back here.

“Everybody knows Piper’s ass always charges for his BBQ plates.” He broke our silence and I quickly looked away.

“I came with my cousin, so I didn’t know. I would say next time, but there won’t be a next time.”

He looked over at me with a smirk on his face. “You not gonna eat? I had to threaten niggas for that plate.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I’m pretty sure he shit his pants… did you see his eyes?” I giggled, still amused at how quick his tone switched. “I didn’t get your name.”

“Never offered it.”

I was stuck on what I should say next. “Well, my name is Erin… thank you so much for buying my food.”

“I know.”

“You do? Ho—”

Pow! Pow! Pow!

Guns shots erupted and I dove down onto the floor, tossing my plate onto the floor. My heart was about to beat outside my chest with how fast it was pumping. The sounds of guns paralyzed me temporarily until I remembered Ryai.

“Ry!” I screamed and tried to run, and then he grabbed me.

“Chill.” It was then that I noticed he had a gun out by his side. He held me close to him as we walked through the backyard.

Everyone was running in every which direction with card tables now tossed across the backyard. I clung onto this stranger like I had known him my entire life.In a strange way I felt safe while holding onto his arm as he led us out the backyard.

“Yo, Capo… we good.” All the heat in my body rose to my face when I saw Naheim come into the backyard. Everything was moving in slow mode as we made our way out the backyard and toward the front of the house.

“E? What the fuck you doing out here?” It felt like someone had a remote control to my life and had pressed the fast forward button.

Another round of shots rang out and this time I couldn’t stay put. I bolted off toward the steps where Ryai was last seen. “Ry!” I screamed.

“Erin!” I heard her screaming and ran over toward the opposite side of the house where she was hiding.

“We need to leave now!” I screamed out, scared.

Jaiden needed me and I couldn’t be out here caught in some damn shootout because she wanted to shake her ass in heels. She grabbed hold of my arm and we quickly ran from the side of the house.

“Take them fucking heels off, Ry!” I yelled, annoyed that she was slowing us up and these niggas was still out here shooting.

I felt like I was in the middle of one of Jaiden’s damn PlayStation games. My legs were about to give out with how fast I was trying to run and how hard my heart was beating. I was sure I was about to have a damn panic attack with how my chest felt like it was about to cave in.

“E!” I heard Naheim yelling behind me, but I was on flight and fight mode.

Ryai was struggling to keep up while I pulled her down the block. When we finally made it off the block, we stopped on a random stoop to take a breath.

“Don’t… ask….me…to go no damn where with you again,” I said soon as I was able to catch my breath. “Shooting, Ryai… the fuck?”

“You acting like I knew they would be out here acting stupid. Erin, you already know how they get in the summer. Soon as it gets hot, they start acting a fool,” she defended like it made the situation better.

My only thought was making it home to Jaiden, and making sure Ryai was behind me. I couldn’t imagine having to tell my aunt that something happened to her only child. It tore me up just thinking about the possibility.

I looked at Ryai once more before I started walking toward our block. She was brushing this off like it was something small. One of us could have gotten killed and she’s sitting here like this was normal for her.

“Can you stop walking so fast?” she complained, tripping over her heels to keep up with me.

I was so shaken up that I couldn’t think or speak. She was lucky that I didn’t take off running back to our house.

“Yo, E! Get in… I'll drop you home.” Naheim pulled up beside us.

Ryai had this smirk on her face. “Long time no see, Naheim… how you been?” she walked sexily over toward the car.

“We’re good. I live only a few blocks down.”

He ignored what I had just said and popped the locks. “Then I'll drive you the few blocks. Niggas out here acting like they got something to prove, Capone wants me to make sure you get home.”

Capone.

I was in life and death mode that I didn’t realize that I had let go of his hand and took off to find Ryai. Driving in Naheim’s car was safer than walking the few blocks back to the house.

Ryai nudged me. “Bitch, Capone… you always keeping secrets.” She was climbing into the backseat before I could make my mind up, so that didn’t give me much of a choice. “Thank God. My feet are killing me… this is nice.” She ran her hand over the wood grained interior of the car.

“Good looks.”

Naheim looked me over as I sat with my arms folded. It wasn’t that I had an attitude with him, I was just pissed about the situation I found myself in. Why couldn’t everyone have a good night with some overpriced hood food?

“So, what have you been up to, Heim,” Ryai continued from the back. You would think she would have shut her mouth and enjoyed the free ride home.

“Chilling… what about you?” He kept it short, stealing glances at me every so often.

“I’ve been chilling, too. My mom always asks about you, too.”

“How is Ms. Josephine?”

“Real good. She’s still at the hospital, too.”

“Word?”

“Uh huh.”

“I gotta come by the crib and see her one of these days.”

I continued to stare out the window wishing these blocks ran shorter. Why did they seem to go by quicker on foot? We’ve been in this car for five minutes and we still hadn’t reached our block.

“Yes, please do. Actually, I'm thinking of throwing my own little BBQ this summer, so def come by and chill with us.”

I wanted to turn around and strangle the hell out of my cousin. The girl didn’t even own a damn grill, and she damn sure never thought about throwing a damn party in her mother’s backyard.

“Let me know.”

We finally pulled in front of the house. Ryai opened her door and climbed out. “I will… you coming home tonight, Erin?”

“Why in the hell wouldn’t I be?” I snapped.

Why would she even ask that question when we were parked out front of our house? I reached for the door handle and Naheim gently touched my hand.

“Wait, I want to talk to you real quick.”

I settled back into my seat and stared straight ahead, too afraid that if I stared him in the eyes that all those feelings I buried would come clawing their way out.

“What’s up?” I played casually, like this was a regular summer night and he had offered me a ride home.

On the inside my heart was slamming against my chest with great force. As much as I wanted to jump out the car behind Ryai, I owed it to him to listen to whatever he had to say.

“I been meaning to hit you up after we ran into each other that day.”

“You’re fine. I’ve been busy, too,” I lied.

“We do need to sit and have a talk, E,” he encouraged.

I shrugged. “I mean, do we really have to? You’re married, Naheim, so does a conversation even matter now?”

“It does.”

I sighed. “Look, tonight was crazy…I’m tired.”

“Fair. I’ll hit you up this weekend. I can come scoop you and we can go grab something to eat.”

“Okay,” I whispered as I climbed out the car.

Naheim watched me for a bit as I cut into the back where my apartment was. I stood off to the side where he couldn’t see me, and he slowly pulled away from the curb.

Tonight was so much that I didn’t even want to think about having a conversation with him. What would the conversation be about? The fact that life happened for the both of us, and neither of us was worried about the other? It was fair because he was on his way to prison, and I had to bury my parents. Neither of us were worried about the other because we were just trying to keep our heads afloat.

Before I could put my key into my front door Ryai pulled it open. “You seemed to have forgot to mention that you knew Capone.”

“How could I mention anything when we were literally running for our lives?” I stepped over her kicked off heels. “Didn’t I tell you about using the door upstairs to access my apartment?”

“Capone Delgato… whew,” she started fanning herself off, and flopped down onto my couch.

I could understand her response because I had the same one mentally when he stepped beside me. How a man could be that damn fine was beyond me. It was something that needed to be studied in college classes nationally.

“He is cute.”

“My pinky toe is cute…. Capone is fine!” she nearly hollered. “How did you meet him and when’s the wedding?”

“Shut up,” I tossed a pillow at her, smiling for the first time. “You failed to tell me that you have to pay for the food from the grill.”

“Girl, everyone knows that you have to pay for the food. That’s the reason I only go to chill and have a drink or two… he can keep that overpriced greasy ass food.” Ryai turned her face up.

“Anyway, I didn’t have any money and the nigga on the grill was getting slick out the mouth. Capone came and handled him and paid for my food.”

I smiled reminiscing on how he put that nigga in his place with a few words. His presence was commanding and sent that nigga shivering while piling beans onto my plate.

“I’m surprised that he was even out here tonight. Capone don’t even be around in the hood like that no more.”

“Why?”

“Why would he? That man is so fucking paid that he doesn’t never need to see the hood.”

“Hmm.”

“The Delgato family is about that business. I heard they have Mafia ties or some shit. Either way, the fact that you caught the eyes of Capone says a lot.”

“What does it say?”

“That he has his eyes on you. I can’t remember a time when Capone has had interest in a chick, and I would know. I mean… other than… anyway, I've been trying to get his attention my damn self. I have better luck waiting for his brother to get out of prison.”

I was so tired that I didn’t want to read into the other than that Ryai had just hinted at. Meeting Capone one time didn’t mean that he had his eyes on me, or I even had my eyes on him. I appreciated his gesture and now I was going to keep it pushing like I’m sure he was.

“His brother is in prison?”

“Yeah… Cappadonna. They’re twins but they don’t favor one another.”

I chuckled. “Have you never heard about fraternal twins?”

Ryai playfully started to snore. “Leave the biology lesson out. His brother apparently got caught up, not sure what he did but he’s been in there for a good little minute. Capone stepped up and made all of this happen because of his brother’s sacrifice.”

“Well, we met once, and he’ll probably never think about me again. Like you said, he’s never over in these parts… night, Ry.”

She yawned and got cozy on my couch. “Night, Erin… when is your date with Naheim?”

“What?”

“I know he asked to take you out… I just feel it in my bones.”

“We’re going to talk… that’s all. Night.” I walked down the hall and closed my door behind me.

We were friends… right? I couldn’t cross that line with that man, and I refused to do it. I didn’t need the added stress into my life right now. A simple conversation for closure… that was all we both needed…right?