6. Aimee
aimee
. . .
“Why the fuck would you even go over there without someone… shit you could have called me,” Core asked, as he bit into his hero, and looked at me. “I would have tossed that nigga up for you.”
We were sitting in his car sharing a hero on my lunch break. When he called me I ignored his call, like I had been doing with everyone, and he sent some loud ass damn alert to my phone, forcing me to take my lunch break early and find him parked a few blocks down leaned against his car.
“Core, would you look at your girl the same if you found out she was selling her ass with her ex-boyfriend? I could see how broken Capella was when I told him about what my brother did to me… imagine finding this out.”
Core chewed his sandwich and watched me. “You don’t give him enough credit.”
“Are you asking or telling me?”
“I’m telling you… don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t give you enough either. You both ended up in this situation because neither of you did this new thing that saves a lot of people time.”
“What’s that?”
“Communication, Aimee,” he laughed.
I shoved him. “Whatever, Corleon!”
He shrugged. “I’m being honest. You don’t need to hear what I’m sure you heard from everybody… you safe with me. That doesn’t mean that I’m not gonna tell you that you were dead ass wrong… you gotta put your chin up and remind yourself who you are. You had a fucking baby… that shit ain’t some easy shit, Grasshopper. I think that shit is compared to breaking all the bones in your body.”
“I did have pain medication.”
He held his finger up. “Stop downing what you did. You brought life into this world… not some small shit. Women go through so much shit… I dated a shorty that had just had a baby a few weeks before we met.”
“What the hell?”
“Let me finish… we were cool and shit, and I asked her out. Shorty told me all the shit her body went through and honestly; I wasn’t ready to give her what she wanted and I damn sure wasn’t about to add to the weird shit her baby father was already putting her through. I say all of this to say that drugs or no drugs…C-section or out yo vagina… the shit ain’t easy and some women don’t make it to the other side… so celebrate that you accomplished that shit. I do think you battling post-partum and don’t even know it.”
“How do you know so much?”
“Don’t let this hood shit fool you… nigga got degrees. There was once a time I was going to become a doctor and quickly switched gears… don’t got time to hear people complain all day. I’m saying that you need to talk to somebody… this life that you live ain’t easy. I’m not saying go up in there and tell everything about the family, but def talk about what you going through?”
I never thought about post-partum. I assumed what I was going through was something that every mother went through. It was considered the learning phase and eventually things became easier. Except, it never became easier, and it was a struggle with Rory. God knew I loved my son more than life, I just wanted motherhood to get easier.
At times I felt like I was a bad mother because I wasn’t supposed to feel sad about my son. I barely had the energy to get up when he was hollering, and often thought about locking myself in the closet or something. Then the crippling anxiety I felt every moment of the day, and I never knew what it was for.
All I knew is that my chest would feel tight out of nowhere and my anxiety was always high. I almost felt ashamed for feeling that way because I would look at Alaia and Erin, and they were so good. They were super moms, and I was struggling with not having a panic attack when I fed my son.
“Yeah. Something to think about.”
Core laughed. “You not thinking about shit… you going. I care about you, Grasshopper, you my little sidekick, and we can’t be a duo if you not right… understand? It’s okay to not be alright, but it’s not okay to stay in it.”
“I don’t want to feel like a lunatic going to therapy.”
“Oh, I’m a lunatic?”
I gasped. “You’re in therapy?”
He nodded his head and balled up the sandwich wrapper. “Yeah… every week. I lost my moms and found out I was adopted… a nigga wasn’t okay, and that shit is alright to admit. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re not okay.”
“Thanks, Core.”
Since Core had come into the family, I gravitated toward him because he was everything. The man was a genius, and there was so much to learn from him. He wasn’t stingy with his knowledge, either, and he was patient.
“Never have to thank me… just try not to get you and my great-nephew killed, cool?”
I held out my hand and we hit our little shake, and I smiled. “I won’t.”
His phone rang, and Landon’s name came up on the screen. “Yo.”
“Did that shit… we good.”
“Bet.”
“Hey Landon,” I greeted.
He laughed. “Oh shit… what up, Stranger? Didn’t know you knew how to speak.”
“I deserve that.”
“Nah you don’t… but stop being a fucking stranger… ight?”
I smiled. “Ight.”
Core ended the call and looked over at me. “No.”
“What?”
“You and Landon… no.”
I rolled my eyes. “We’re friends… he’s cool, but I kind of fell back because it bothered Capella.”
“It should. Landon wanna fuck you… he likes you, Aimee… read the fucking room.” He playfully mushed me.
“And what about you and Skyler?”
“Oh, nah… I wanna fuck her. I read the room and now I’m ready to be inside the room, feel me?”
I couldn’t help but to break out into laughter. “Eww, Corleon… you old enough to be her father.”
“Nigga, no the fuck I’m not… I’m thirty-five… chill the fuck out.”
“And Skyler is twenty …you were fifteen when she was born.”
He looked at me. “Didn’t you try to off yo’ baby?”
“Core!” I started hitting him while laughing. “Too fucking soon.”
He sat his chair up. “Skyler don’t want those little niggas… she wanna grown ass man… a nigga that could send her car service to a date, not ask her what the fuck she doing.”
“Well, I sure hope you not watching her from her computer or something… you a weirdo.” I laughed, knowing that he could if he wanted to.
He looked at his watch. “You need to get back to creeper… remember I have to be in two places at once… the condo and then the gala, so we gotta get this shit done quick.”
“I know, I know… Um, I think you should know that Rich has a thing for Skyler… she told me,” I revealed.
Skyler told me that because she worked in the same office as him, that whenever he was in the office he made remarks that made her feel uncomfortable. Skyler wasn’t weak, but I knew how it felt when these men were inappropriate. Morgan was the same way, and it made my skin crawl. He thought because he disguised it as a laugh that everything was all good. I heard his staff talking about his last intern and how they found her in the bathroom crying and bleeding, as he left buckling his pants up.
“Oh word?”
“Like… he’s been real close with her… touched her ass the other day and tried to play if off like he was trying to get past her to get to the coffee machine.”
I watched his jaw flinch, the same as his brothers when something pissed them off. “I’ll handle it, alright?”
“Okay… see you later. Oh, and don’t send that damn alert to my phone again,” I mushed him as I climbed out the car.
As I walked back to the building, my phone blared with that damn alert again as he cruised by. “My bad,” he called out the window and I stuck my middle finger up at him.
Morgan was leaned on his assistant’s desk when I came back into the office. They were in a tense ass conversation, so much so that they didn’t know that I had come into the office until I cleared my throat and sat my tote bag on my small makeshift desk that was given to me.
“Aimee, the person I needed to see right now.”
I grabbed my iPad, ready to take ridiculous notes. “I’m here… what do you need, Mr. Morgan?”
He hated whenever I called him Mr. Morgan, so I did it on purpose. “I need you to pick up the dress for Ms. Browne for the gala and drop it off to her office. Then, head downtown to pick up my shoes for the gala… I need you to drop it off tomorrow to my condo as well… how long is it gonna sit in the closet in my office?” he continued to bark orders.
“No problem… I can go and handle that now.”
He looked at something on his phone before turning his attention back to me. “You have a passport?”
“I do.” It was the same question he asked when he first told me I was going to Monaco with him.
“Perfect. Make sure you add Aimee onto the itinerary for Monaco,” he told his assistant, and then walked into his office, slamming the door.
Marina looked over at me. “Be careful with him, Aimee… I know I don’t say much, but please be careful around him. You’re a good kid, and I would hate for something to happen to you,” she whispered.
“Thanks, Marina,” I smiled at her and grabbed my tote to go and run these errands.
On my way to the elevators, I called Capri, who answered chewing in the phone. “Capri Browne.” It was funny how she choked out the Browne every time she said it.
“I feel bad for whatever you’re eating ‘cause you smashing it.”
Capri laughed. “I’m hungry all the time now… I just ate and now I’m starving like I haven’t had anything. Meer had Yasin bring me sticky wings from BBQ’s because he said I was talking about them in my sleep.”
“Bet he wished he could have brought them himself.”
She sighed. “Rich is in the office today… anyway, what’s up?”
“Morgan has me picking up your dress… did you need me to take it somewhere to get it taken out… I know the belly is growing.”
“Do you even know the kind of dress it is?”
“Mermaid-style gown, so it’s gonna be a little bit tight. I can have it brought to the laundromat… they do alterations there, too.”
“Bring it to me, and then we can decide… have someone come to my office,” she decided.
“Got it… He reminded me about Monaco again, so guess I’m really in that bitch.”
Capri blew a sigh of relief. “Good. At least I have my girls with me… you and Skyler.”
“Yep… anyway, I gotta run all these impossible errands, so I’ll see you later or are you staying closer to the city?”
“Since the gala is tomorrow, I’m staying closer to the city.”
“Got you… see you in a little while.”
“K… Aimee?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you, okay? I need you not to forget that… you have a family who loves you. I know it feels like it’s you against the world, but I promise that’s not what it is.”
I smiled as I looked at my phone. “I love you, too, Pri… see you soon.” I ended the call and put my tote bag around me as I headed down the block to the train.