Capri 3.5 (Season Three: Delgato Family: Capri)

19. Brandi

brandi

. . .

It had been a month since I heard from my husband or saw my damn daughter. I had been driving myself crazy and hiding from the media. They were staking out in front of my house worried about getting a statement. The only time they were gone were at night, and I was able to walk the neighborhood and actually have a breath of fresh air.

Guess I wasn’t important enough to keep eyes on during the night. Soon as the morning arrived, they were back out front in their cars watching me. With fall here, the nights were cooler, and I wondered how long it would take for them to realize I had nothing to say and to leave me alone.

Getting those alerts about my husband and Morgan made me sick to my stomach. Martin had threatened in the past that he would take off and I would never be able to find him. He claimed he had connections all over the world and would leave me if I didn’t play my part.

Since I didn’t work and Martin was the breadwinner, I always had to fall in line. Brandi was expected to play her role and be grateful that I lived the life that I did. The same thing applied to my father too. Every time something didn’t go his way, or me and my sisters pushed back, he was quick to remind us of who paid the bills and our college tuition.

I remember the one time I refused to come home for the holidays and decided to stay on campus. My parents weren’t happy in their marriage, so they made everyone around them miserable. My sisters were all out the house and were either married or living on their own without my father’s money.

When I told my father I refused to come home and stood on it, he was shocked. I had Meer there to tell me to stand up to him. Truthfully, I think that was the reason that my father couldn’t stand Meer. He was never the type that kissed ass, and he always said it like he saw it, and didn’t give a damn who you were. He was too pure for this world and I tried to change him into who I thought my father would approve of.

My father didn’t take well to me telling him no, so he turned my phone off and canceled my credit cards, leaving me on campus with no money, and no way to get any food. Blair had already dropped out, so I didn’t have a roommate.

Meer came and stayed with me in the dorms and brought food that his Gams had made. We spent the entire weekend in my dorm room, having sex and spending time. I loved our conversations because they were always so deep. It wouldn’t be Meer if he didn’t roll up his weed. There was hardly anybody on campus, so he smoked freely.

The reason I had my own phone line was because of Meer. When the snow cleared, he drove me to T-Mobile and put me on his line and paid the bill. Never did he ask me to pay for anything, he always covered it.

When we broke up, he allowed me to keep the line and got another one with a brand-new number. Whenever things were uncertain and I needed someone to tell me everything would be fine, it was Meer that was there to do that. He always told me that everything would be alright, and he was always right.

Since he had been out my life, nothing had been right, and I didn’t even have him to give me that reassurance. I missed everything about Quameer Inferno, all the parts before I tried to change in him. Even the parts that I had been able to witness with Capri, and I hadn’t even experienced those. He was so different with her.

I slammed the door to my truck and punched in the address to the prison to visit Tookie. The two-hour drive always cleared my mind, and I was able to truly think. Especially since I was going to tell him that I couldn’t come visit him no more, and that we shouldn’t even be in contact.

As much as it tasted bitter to admit, I knew Quameer was right. I should have been showing loyalty to him because he was Ryder’s father. If something happened to him, it would crush our daughter. Especially knowing that I was messing around with the person that was responsible for all the mess in his life.

No matter how much I hated Meer for moving on with his life, and even getting with Capri, I had to think of my daughter. I’m sure the choice to continue to have loyalty toward my family couldn’t have been an easy one.

When it came to those Inferno men, they had no rationing between them. While Meer often lost his, he eventually came around. Quasim had none, and there wasn’t a little reminder that went off in his head. I guess it was why he was so laid back because the minute he leaned up some shit was going to happen.

Quasim always scared the hell out of me, and I never really dealt with him. I wanted Meer far away from him, and I realized the more I forced him to choose between me and his brother, the more I lost him.

My mother’s name across my car’s screen pulled me from my thoughts. “Hey Mom.”

“Hey baby, have you heard from Martin?” My mother had no clue the reason that I married Martin. Imagine having to sit and choke on words about how much you were in love with this man. Martin and Quameer were night and day, and I always suspected that she felt something was wrong.

My mother had never been the prying type, so she allowed me to make my own decision. My father was the one who always pried in my business and forced me to make decisions based on what he wanted.

“Mom, I’ve done everything to get in contact with him and he hasn’t responded. Last time I spoke with him he said he had a business trip, but I never know where he goes.”

Martin tells me when he’s leaving and when I should expect him back and nothing else. I never cared to ask him where he was going anyway. It was better when he was away anyway. I didn’t have to pretend and actually felt at peace.

“All the news have been covering is him and that Mayoral Candidate Vincent Morgan. Do you think they ran off together.”

The thought made my stomach sick that Morgan was sleeping with both me and Martin at the same time. When I thought of the things Morgan has done to me, never knowing he was probably doing the same things to my husband.

“Mom, I don’t fucking know… I’m sick behind all of this,” I snapped, knowing that I never spoke to my mother this way.

Stress and anxiety was tearing me apart and I couldn’t think straight. “I’m going to ignore that because you are stressed. Are they still outside the house? Is Ry still with her father?”

The only positive in all of this was Ryder being with Quameer. As much as I missed my baby, she didn’t need to see any of this going on. She called me every day to tell me how much she missed me.

“Yeah. Quameer has her, which is probably for the best right now. I’m all messed up and trying to figure out what the hell is next. Martin is literally gone and refuses to answer for me.”

“What about his family?”

Even though she was asking all the right questions, I was becoming irritated with them. “Mom, I don’t know those people. They live in damn Kansas or something. Anyway, he was estranged from them anyway. His family that he has in Jersey, I don’t know them like that.”

“Yeah. That’s true… what are you doing now? I can fly up and stay with you so you’re not alone… what is your father saying about all of this?”

My parents didn’t speak and none of us forced them. I would rather play telephone through all my sisters to get them both a message without them having to speak to each other. My father was running around like a paranoid nut because so much was coming out about Morgan and his shady dealings.

He thought his name would be next to be dropped, so he wasn’t much help. All he kept telling me was to keep my ear to the ground and we could update each other. “He’s busy,” I lied.

“Too busy to be there for his daughter? Do you need me to call him?”

“Mom, no. I am grown and can handle everything right now… I just need to think and see what is next.”

I could hear the concern in her breathing. She was worried about me and wanted to help and I was making excuses instead of telling her the truth. “Alright, Brandi. I love you and call me if you hear something. I will continue keeping my ear to the news in case something new comes up.”

“Thanks… love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I ended the call and sighed while driving to the prison to end things with Tookie. This was what was best for the both of us. He was the past and I needed to move on from that. Maybe Martin leaving me was what was best.

He was giving me the out that I had longed for since marrying him. I could focus on me and Ryder and give her the attention she deserved. I’ve always paid attention to my daughter, but lately I feel like everything had been about my failing marriage and trying to do what my father wanted. It was time to focus on my daughter and find my happiness again.

Since I was inside of my head for most of the drive, I pulled into the prison parking lot and took a deep sigh, knowing that I had to end things with him. He couldn’t get out and think me and him would ever be together.

It was nice to have someone give me the attention I craved when I was younger. When you became a mother, and married a gay man, that attention you needed lacked. Tookie, even from behind a prison wall made me feel like the old me.

Even Morgan made me feel like the old me, even though I knew he was full of shit half the time. None of that mattered when you had this desperate need to feel wanted and loved. Half the time, the wrong kind of love found its way on your doorstep, and Tookie was the wrong kind of love.

“You know, Waterhead, I’ve been trying to enjoy my pregnancy and being a newlywed, but you won’t allow that to happen, huh?” My chest stalled when I heard Quameer’s voice.

It wasn’t the same voice that I had come accustomed to. His voice was low, ominous, and unpredictable, which I knew could be Meer at times. My eyes slowly went to the rearview mirror, and I didn’t see anyone.

Did he have a recorder in my car or something?

“Um, hello?” I asked in a shaky voice, quickly unbuckling my seatbelt so I could flee out this car and into safety.

“If you make me chase you Brandi, I can promise I’m gonna use this fucking gun,” he snarled, and I removed my hand from the seatbelt.

“Meer?”

“Who fucking else would it be?” He still hadn’t revealed himself, so I hit the button to look in the backseat. The truck came with a camera to look in the back. When I decided on this truck, the salesman kept using this to sweeten the deal.

Telling me how it would come in handy when me and my husband decided to have children. I paid him no attention, only wanting this truck because it was expensive, and I wanted Martin’s pockets to hurt.

The seats were always down, and I hardly ever used the third row unless Ryder wanted to sit back there. When the camera popped up on the screen, Meer was laid in the back of the trunk with his hands rested behind his head. Because he was tall, he was cramped back there, but that didn’t stop him from looking comfortable.

“Why…why are you in my trunk, Meer?”

“Cause I was going to fucking kill you, Brandi,” he said it so matter of factly. As if he didn’t just say he was going to end my life.

“Meer, I swear I’m only here to end things with him… I swear. You were right, I should have loyalty toward you. You are Ryder’s father.” I sobbed, tears falling down my face because I had this nut in my trunk, and I was pretty certain he was strapped.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He took a deep breath, and I heard him shift in the back before I saw him. His eyes were red as if he had been crying. “Meer were you crying because of me?”

The look of disgust that came across his face made me feel like shit. “Get the fuck out of here. I got emotional thinking about my fucking daughter, and how she would look at me if she knew what I did to her mother. How it would fucking ruin her life, like losing a part of my mother did for me. You hate Capri, but she’s the only fucking reason that I didn’t pull that trigger… come open this fucking back door, Waterhead!” he barked, and I quickly jumped out the trunk and went to open the trunk for him.

He hopped out the back of the trunk and stretched his legs and arms. “We can leave right now. I don’t ever have to see him or speak to him,” I stammered, nervous.

Meer had always made me nervous, but in a cute and sweet way. This nervousness was something that scared me. How he looked down into my eyes without any emotions behind his eyes. It was like he was depleted of emotions so he could handle me in the way that he needed to.

That same menacing look that his brother and father had danced in his eyes when he looked at me. “Nah, Brandi… we going to visit Tookie butt together.”

“What?” I blurted.

He looked around and hemmed me up. “Or I can leave you stinking up here… choice is yours, Bitch. I don’t give a fuck what you do with your pussy, but the minute that pussy has even a small chance of bringing harm to my daughter, now I gotta problem and I clearly gotta have control over it.”

The thought of Meer having control over me shouldn’t have turned me on in this moment. I should have been scared, but I could smell his cologne, the bergamot and tobacco tickled my nose. That should have been a sign that he was in my damn car, but I was too focused on the media outside my door and the phone call with my mother.

“Your name isn’t even on the visitation sheet!” I blurted as he tucked away his gun and whatever other illegal things he carried with him inside the car.

He grabbed my key fob and closed the door, locking it behind and walking ahead of me. I remember when he used to hold my hand and pull me behind him. Now I trailed behind him like a lost puppy wanting to find her way.

Low and behold, Quameer’s name ended up on the visitation log, which puzzled me. How did he know that I was even coming here today? Had he been watching me or listening to my phone calls. We went through security easily, and I watched as Meer put his fangs back into his mouth which had the correction officer swooning.

She licked her lips when she watched him remove his locs from his face and put his wallet back into his pocket. The way she flipped her hair and tried to look cute in that boxy uniform had me pissed and I wasn’t even married to him.

I could see the wedding band on his finger clear as day and it was a reminder that he would never be mine again. He belonged to Capri, and what made it worse was that he wanted to belong to her.

He wanted Capri Inferno. Quameer wasn’t depressed or anything, however, he wasn’t as happy as he was since he and Capri had gotten together. Meer walked with a bop in his step knowing that Capri was his wife.

Meer pulled a chair out and I went to sit, and he sat down. “Fuck I look like.”

The visitations at this prison was through a glass window with phones on opposite sides. I pulled the plastic chair out and sat down nervous on how this could have gone. Do you know how insane you had to be to hide in someone’s truck and then get out and visit your enemy like this was normal.

My heart dropped when I saw that red light that always illuminated before they allowed the prisoners through the door. One by one, I saw them file into their designated cubbies to see their family and friends. Tookie came through and smiled wide when he saw me, once he got closer, he saw Meer who smirked.

I witnessed this man go through every emotion there was and even a few he had probably invented. His hand hovered over the phone as he debated on if he wanted to pick it up. Meer snatched the phone off the receiver and leaned back in the chair while waiting for Tookie to figure out what he wanted.

When he decided that he would pick the phone up, he sat down in the chair and stared at his ex-best friend. Meer and Tookie were thick as thieves, and I would have never thought this would have been their outcome. Two men that were from rival biker gangs, and the only resolution was one being in the ground.

“Put Brandi on the fucking phone,” I could hear him through the receiver.

“Nigga, you the one on time out… ain’t no demands over this way. What up, Tookie butt? We ain’t chatted in a minute… what’s new with you?”

Meer sat there patiently waiting for this man to run down everything that he has going on. Tookie was about to bite his lip off because he was so pissed. Imagine the person you’ve been wanting to get at the most sitting across from you, but the glass and being in prison was what separated you.

“What the fuck you want, Meer? Came to fucking rub in what yo’ pussy ass brother did? My grandmoms was fucking hospitalized.”

“And if you keep it up, she gonna be with her husband and Rich… feel me?” He licked his lips and laughed.

I didn’t even know what they were talking about, so I remained quiet. “If you thought Cherie was something… wait until I’m home. Heard your brother wrapped up in Blair… wanna see how the fuck he feel when I snatch her from him.”

Meer yawned. “I ain’t sleep the best… any fucking way, I ain’t come to hear all of that. You already know when you touch down it’s a party… a funeral, but a party nonetheless… and depending on Granny’s heart, might be a double function.”

I wished I could have been surprised with the way he was speaking to Tookie, but this didn’t surprise me. Meer was ruthless like his brother when he had to be, and seeing how calm he was in a situation when he should have been livid told me everything that I needed to know.

This nigga was crazy.

“Tell this nigga whatever you gotta tell him. I got shit to do today.” He shoved the phone in my direction as he flipped his middle finger up and slid it under his nose.

“Um, hey Tookie… this can’t happen again. I have to focus on myself, and my daughter,” I stammered.

He was so busy paying attention to Meer that he could barely focus on what the hell I was saying. “Brandi, be fucking real with yourself. You thought I was gonna wife you? Bitch, I needed the company and to see how stupid you still were over Meer. Heard you went and got married, bitch.”

Meer flashed his ring. “Getting something you not… pussy.”

I sighed. “I would never go against Meer.”

“Bitch you slow? You already did when I nutted up in you in Meer’s whip? You forgot about that?”

I wanted to disappear when he mentioned how we fucked in Meer’s car. He allowed me to use his car, and I picked Tookie up at the bus and we ended up fucking in the car. Every time I thought about the shit I did to Meer; it was crazy how I was even alive to think about the ways I hurt him.

Tookie wanted a reaction from Meer as he said the most hurtful shit to me. I was so disgusted with myself and how I allowed myself to fall back into whatever this was. He would never change and not even prison would help his ass.

Meer took the phone from me and leaned up. “When you come home, trust we gonna see each other. Remember when we fought, and I beat yo’ ass… think of that and how I’m gonna do it again. Come on, Tooks… you already know the Infernos ain’t shit to play with. If you don’t mind me, I got some shit to attend. You ain’t to the parking lot when I get there, I’m leaving you, bitch.” He looked at me and turned to leave.

Tookie held the phone and looked at me. “Your daughter really gonna miss her daddy, Brandi.”

“I cannot do this… we should have never reconnected because you never changed. Tookie, I pray that you eventually change and leave Meer alone. It’s not going to end well, I can promise you this.”

Tookie busted out in a manic laugh, and I hung the phone up, looking at him before scurrying out the door. Meer wasn’t about to leave my ass out here alone.

The ride back to the city was quiet. Meer sang to himself as he drove us back. What did I say to him? I’ve hurt this man more than I should have, and I didn’t know what to say to him?

“I’m sorry, Meer… I wish I could take it back.”

He looked over at me with a blank expression. I watched as he scrolled his phone before connecting it to Bluetooth and playing a song of his choice.

“You not sorry, Brandi. Maybe sorry you got caught and look stupid, but you never been sorry.”

I turned in my seat. “I promise I am sorry… I never meant for none of this to happen. I don’t know why I do half the shit that I’ve been doing all my life.”

He chuckled. “I don’t give a fuck about what you do with your life. This not a therapy session, either… I don’t give a fuck what you did in the past and how sorry you are. You wasn’t sorry when you was doing that shit.”

“Meer, my fathe?—”

“Fuck you and your father, Brandi. I told you, fucking begged and said I could take care of you. Don’t tell me what your father had you doing when you had a fucking choice.”

Capri’s name came up on the screen of my car and he hit the green phone icon and ignored me. “What up, Suga?”

“Hey baby, everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m straight… how you feeling?”

Meer’s facial expression softened when he heard her voice. “I’m ordering groceries for the house. Peach needs snacks for school, so I want to make sure she has everything.”

“Did that bus driver come all the way up the block this time?” he questioned.

“Yes. Even was pleasant, too. I don’t think he likes you, Meer,” Capri giggled.

“Got my fucking pregnant wife power walking behind the bus… he better keep coming up the block or I’m gonna be driving that damn bus.”

“Meer?”

“What up, baby?”

“I was running, not power walking,” Capri busted out in a fit of giggles. Her laughs made me smile because I remembered when Meer would make me laugh like that.

Meer was still the funniest person that I knew, and no one had been able to make me laugh like he had. “My bad, baby… either way you got an excuse for the sad ass jogging.”

“What are you doing now? I missed you in bed with me last night,” she sighed.

He smiled. “I missed you, too, Sug. I’m with Brandi right now.”

“Hey Capri,” I made myself known.

“Hi Brandi,” she replied. “Meer, is everything alright… remember what we spoke about.” Her tone told me that Meer wasn’t lying about wanting to kill me.

“She good for now… I can’t promise that if she do something else.” He looked over at me, and I shrunk further down in my seat.

“Brandi, we all move for the good of Ryder. She deserves both of her parents, so I’m going to need you to get whatever you got going on together and realize that your daughter needs you. I was able to talk some sense into him this time, but I can’t promise I will want to the next time. If something happens to my husband or bonus daughter, you’re going to have to answer to me.”

How do you respond to something like that?

“Capri, I don’t think this is your pla?—”

“Bitch, do you not understand that I want to take you to glory? Her place?—”

“As his wife, this is my fucking place, and I will speak on things that fuck with my family. I stuck my neck out for you because I don’t ever want to see Ryder lose her mother. You need to understand that two things can be true at once. I don’t want Ryder to lose her mother, but I won’t stand in the way of it happening… do what you want with that. Meer, I love you and see you later.”

“Love you, too, Sug.”

I went to say something, and Meer turned the music up, not wanting to have a conversation with me. The only person I had to blame was myself and my father. The reason life looked like this for me was because of my poor decisions.