Capri 3.5 (Season Three: Delgato Family: Capri)

25. Aimee

aimee

. . .

How I ended up being Capri’s chauffer was beyond me. Meer had something to do at the compound with the house, and Zoya had a last-minute meeting and then she was driving straight to the prison. When Capri bribed me to come over with pancakes, I should have known something was up.

First, she didn’t have any pancakes and then she was waiting with a snack bag and her purse. She was the cutest pregnant woman so I couldn’t say no. Rory was with his father, so I didn’t have anything to do today anyway.

“I’m so glad that he’s not as far as Cappy was when he was locked up. We had to drive six hours to visit him.”

“Thank God for that… you bought enough snacks for a six-hour ride.”

She laughed, her belly jiggling in the process. “If you want some of these snacks all you have to do is ask.”

“I am good… Rory force fed me his cheese crackers before I left. I know he’s shoving them in his father’s face while he’s trying to sleep.”

“How are you two?” she questioned while popping more chips into her mouth and looking over at me.

“Honestly, I think we’re in a good place with each other. Our focus has been on Rory… I feel like I’m getting my friend back again, you know?”

She smiled. “And therapy?”

“It’s tough, Capri… having to be vulnerable with someone that I don’t know… it’s tough. Sometimes I sit there and we don’t say anything and she allows that.”

She touched my hand. “I know it’s tough, but I’m proud of you for doing it. I’m proud of you for knowing you and accepting that you needed help. Our family loves us, but they can’t help us out our dark times… no matter how much they claim they can. My version of therapy was leaving for a year, and yours is an actual therapist. You’re going to be better for yourself and Rory in the end.”

I smiled. “That’s the main goal right now. I am focused on Rory’s therapies and my own. I spoke with Pops about getting a condo in the city to be closer to school and the internship with Governor Johnson.”

“What he said?”

“He’s not convinced… he has to let me go and he refuses.” She laughed.

“Cappy has been a father before he was a father. He’s protective and it’s hard for him to let go.”

Governor Johnson had offered me an internship within his office, and I accepted. At least with this one, it was paid and I wouldn’t have to work with slimy ass Morgan. Between school, the internship, and being a mother, I would be stretched thin, but I was confident that I could do it.

I could rise to the occasion and be the woman that I knew I could be. It took a long time for me to have this confidence and now that it was finally coming, I wanted to hold onto it. Rory needed his mama to be sure of who she was, and proud of where she came from. What I been through could have destroyed me had I allowed it.

When we arrived at the prison, we pulled into the driveway and Zoya was already waiting for us. I pulled to the entrance so Capri didn’t have to walk far, and then went to find a parking spot. When I found one, I parked and grabbed my phone.

I smiled at the selfie that Capella had sent of him and Rory in the bed. Rory was smiling in the picture which warmed my heart.

Me: Did I even try? Boy don’t look nothing like me lol.

Capella: It’s cool... you still cute.

Me: Whatever lol

Capella: you looked cute earlier.

I blushed.

Capella: can I ask you something?

Me: Sure.

My phone started to ring and it was a FaceTime from Capella. “Hey.”

He looked in the camera, and then looked to the left of him. “My boy wants to tell you something… go ahead, Ror.”

Rory nearly snatched the phone out of his father’s hand and had his entire face in it. “Go eat.”

Capella took the phone back. “I believe my boy wants me to ask his mama if she’ll allow me to take her and him out for dinner tonight.”

“Oh really?”

He licked his lips and smirked. “Hell yeah… was talking my ear off about it and everything. Said something about going to get steak or something. You gonna turn down me and your son?”

“Using your son to ask me on a date is diabolical.”

“Baby, I come from a long line of diabolical men… what you say, Aim?”

I smiled and looked away. “I guess I can pencil you and Rory in.”

Capella smiled wide. “Appreciate that, pretty… enjoy the rest of your day, Aim.”

We ended the call and I joined Zoya and Capri in front of the prison. “Girl, you know this load is heavy.”

“My bad.”

“Why am I so damn nervous? It’s literally just Gerald.”

“Because you know this visit isn’t as his lawyer… you’re visiting as Zoya,” I answered her question.

We went through security and were even bumped to the front of the line because of Capri being pregnant. As we sat in the visitation room, Capri looked over at the snack machine and smiled. “I remember having to get Cappy so many of those Danishes. He loved them whenever we visited.”

“Is that why Alaia learned how to make them?”

Capri laughed. “More than likely… you know the minute her Roy talks about something she bout to bake it.”

Zoya was quiet as we waited for them to allow the prisoners out from the back. “This is Gerald… stop being nervous.” Capri smiled at her.

“I know… I’m tripping.”

Soon as the alarm sounded and the gates popped, we saw prisoners making their way through, and rushing to their families that were waiting to see them. Gerald swaggered through wearing a gray jumpsuit and a pair of slides.

“You bought family… Lady Inferno… look at you,” Goon came and kissed Capri on the forehead.

“No touching!” the guard shouted.

“Shut the fuck up!” Goon barked at the correction officer before taking his seat from across from us.

“Gerald, please,” Zoya pleaded with him and he settled down.

As quick as he had gotten serious, that infamous smile with those pearly whites flashed. It was so weird seeing Goon without his grills in.

“Ms. Lawyer, why it took you so long to come and see me?”

Me and Capri tried to pretend we weren’t listening to give them their moment. “I don’t know. Things have been busy, so I haven’t been able to get away.”

“I can respect that. You been taking care of you?”

Zoya smiled. “Yes. I’m more concerned about you… how are you doing?”

“I’m good… as good as I can be… Quasim came and saw me last week,” he replied, as he looked at Zoya.

When Goon looked at Zoya, I could see how much he would love and cherish her. It was weird because with men as hard as Goon it was hard to see if they had a heart. That may have been true, but when Goon looked at Zoya, she could do whatever to him and he would still love her.

We all chatted and filled him in on everything that had been going on. It felt nice seeing him smile and laugh considering where he was at.

“Wanna know something?” Zoya laughed.

“What’s that, Ms. Lawyer?”

“I actually picked up a pack of beef bacon for you… so much better than pork.” Me and Capri laughed because her ass was gone.

“I told you… now give it up all the way.”

“Now, I ain’t say all of that.”

The correction officer yelled to start wrapping our conversations up, and Capri went to use the bathroom while I sat at the table watching Goon and Zoya.

“Shit gets back to me, Ms. Lawyer… I know who you fucking with. Despite that you made time to come see a nigga, and I appreciate that.”

“What got back to you?” Zoya asked.

“Not even important.”

“Do you want me to wait for you, Gerald?”

He held her hands and licked his lips. “Nah, baby, I want a fair advantage when they release me from behind here. Just know when I get outta here I’m coming for you and I don’t give a fuck who you with either.” Goon kissed the back of her hand.

Zoya wanted to melt right in this plastic seat. “Is that right?”

“I keep my word, Ms. Lawyer… just know the minute they let Goon out… I’m coming for you and those chocolate babies. Got the ring on ice.”

Capri sat back down as the bell sounded. Goon stood up and kissed his two fingers and looked at Zoya, who had her breath caught into her chest. “Meer taught you that one, huh?”

“You already know, Lady Inferno… keep baking my God daughter… Aimee, you got it in you, remember that shit and don’t forget it.” He walked backward where the rest of the prisoners were lining up. “Ms. Lawyer, see you soon.” He winked, and turned around.

Zoya may have been messing with somebody, but when Goon came home, none of that shit was sliding. He made it clear he was coming for Ms. Lawyer, and she better had been ready for it.

Dr. Killian Hill sat across from me dressed in a wide leg dress pants, silk blouse, her black hair was neatly curled and her brown skin glistened, even under the dull office lights. Her legs were crossed as she tapped the end to her apple pencil on the edge of her iPad as I sat there. We had been sitting here for the past twenty minutes and she had told me to speak when I was ready.

I wasn’t ready to speak.

Therapy always scared me and every time I was in front of this stunning woman, I was even more scared to reveal more of my deepest secrets to her. Why was I worried about her judging me when the whole purpose was for her to help me?

Heal me.

I had gone so long with the thoughts in my head that I was scared to let someone else in. So afraid that she would think I was a liar, though she wouldn’t say it out loud. What if she wrote it down in her notes as I was speaking.

“When I was seventeen, I attempted suicide.” It was something that I never spoke about because my mother told me to keep my mouth shut.

She told me that nobody wanted to hear about my little dramatic cry for attention. I wanted to die so bad, and when I woke up in the hospital, I was pissed that I hadn’t succeeded. My mother sat by my bed and kept scolding me because she was embarrassed that she had to sit and smile in these doctor’s faces while they told her that I needed help.

They held me for seventy-two hours and told her that I needed help. That I would just do it again if my mother didn’t get me treatment and a psychiatrist. She ignored them and said that I was just acting out, and that I wouldn’t do it again.

I remember coming home and Thanksgiving was that next week. Our family all went to Memaw’s house, and my mother decided to make a joke about me trying to kill myself.

Aimee, the little girl who tried to off herself… can you believe her.

Her voice and those words still rang in my head whenever I thought about it. For most of my life nobody ever saw me or believed me. Capella saw me, and he believed me and I didn’t know why I never trusted him when I should have.

Why it was so hard to be honest with him about who I really was. When we met, he saw me as this girl who took care of her own and was strong. She wasn’t some weak bitch that her family turned her into.

I feared he would look at me differently, and that was what made me hide things from him. It was the reason why I waited so long to tell him about what Ace did to me, and what I was doing when I was with Khalil.

Capella may have not been raised by his father, but his mannerisms were spot on. That intense glare that they gave you whenever you were talking. It made me get into my head, and I didn’t want to tell him the shit I’ve been through, which was wrong.

“Why did you want to kill yourself, Aimee?” Dr. Hill switched her legs and jotted something down before peering over her iPad at me.

I messed with my hands and heaved a sigh. “Felt worthless… I spent so much of my life feeling like I didn’t have a voice, like a burden. Never felt like I belonged anywhere.”

“And what about today?”

I smiled. “I feel love, and my voice is heard.”

Dr. Hill smiled. “What are some changes you have made within your family to feel those feelings?”

“Went no contact with my blood family. I realized that family doesn’t have to be blood… and my father-in-law has shown me that.”

“What about your father that’s in prison?”

I smiled thinking about my father. “We write and talk on the phone. I could never cut him off… I want to visit him but he doesn’t want me to see him like that.”

My father was locked up when I was young so the majority of our relationship had always been through phone calls whenever he called my mother, and as I became older I kind of lost contact. We didn’t reconnect again until Cappadonna made it happen, and I was learning so much about the man that was my father.

“Your husband… where are both you guys?” she looked at me, as she jotted more things down. I wished like hell I knew what she was over there jotting down.

“I don’t know… we’re in such a good place with each other that I’m scared. We don’t argue or fight with each other anymore. It’s really about our son, and we even do family things together. He’s really working on him.”

“Do you want to be with him?”

“I love him.”

“I love shoes, doesn’t mean I want to be with them,” Dr. Hill quickly replied, and I looked at her.

Tears stung my eyes as I looked up at her. “I’m so in love with Capella… I want to live in that man’s skin because I know he’s a good man. We’re both two troubled people with past trauma that found each other, and just because we were each other’s safety doesn’t mean that we have to stay in the trauma. I’m excited to experience a relationship without all the past traumas we both carried. One where he has to put in the work and chase me… show me how much he wants this.”

Dr. Hill smiled. “Has he taken anything that you’ve wanted him to do in account?”

“Yes. He’s in therapy, too.” I was all too excited to announce that because I didn’t think he would do it.

“Very well.” Her chime went off signaling that this was the end of our session, and I gathered my things up.

Since I had class today, I had parked my car at school and took the train to Dr. Hill’s office. On my walk back to the train, I heard someone beep at me and I stopped. Capella had the window rolled down.

He got out and walked around his car. “You know I hate when you take the train, Aim.”

I smiled as I walked over toward him and he pulled me into a hug. “It was only four stops from school. You really have to stop tracking me, creep.”

“Yeah, ight… get yo ass in the car.” He laughed, and held the door open for me.

As he walked in front of the car, my mouth watered watching that walk. It was one that they all shared and they got it from the OG, Des Delgato. It was amazing how so much of their mannerisms were passed down from generation to generation.

I turned around and saw Rory in his car seat asleep. “How was the play date with Kaleb?” Capella had taken Rory to play with Kaleb over Jasmine’s house.

“It was cool… Jasmine had to run some errands so I watched them both while she went and did her thing.”

“Look at you being helpful.”

He winked at me, and I wanted to melt in the seat. Had he not had the heated seats on, I would have already been hot. “How was therapy?”

“I didn’t leave sobbing so I would say it was a success.”

“Which is always a change.” He looked in his rearview mirror to check on a sleeping Rory. “I’m kind of glad he’s asleep while you in here… he’ll start hollering to go with you to class.”

“Thank you for saving me the fare… what are you both going to do?” I asked, as he neared my school.

“Gonna take him to get some pizza and then back to my pop’s crib… you got plans after school today?”

“Skyler wanted to get an early dinner with me and then back to the house to study… I think Alaia and Cappadonna are going out on a date.”

“Yeah, they dropping the kids off at my nana’s house… save some room for dinner with me? Me and Rory make a mean pho.”

He pulled near the curb and got out to open the door for me. “Now you just playing dirty. You know that’s my favorite meal.”

Capella laughed. “I mean, shit, more for me and Ror… you don’t have to eat it.”

I shoved him and smiled. “I can have me a little appetizer or something…cause I gotta see how you make it.”

“I got skills, Aim… come fuck with your boy.”

“Hmm, yeah, we’ll see. See you later,” I tried to walk away and he pulled me back and stared down into my eyes. “What?”

“Nothing… just realizing that I could have lost the best thing that has happened to me… even when you didn’t have to come through for me, you did… I appreciate and love you for that.”

I stood on my toes and kissed his cheeks. “We homies… that’s what they do,” I quickly ran on the curb as he tried to grab me.

“Stop fucking playing with me, Aimee.”

In my best Capri voice, I laughed. “It’s Big Aim, now.”

Capella nodded as he licked his lips, clearly turned on. “Oh ight… we’ll see about that baby Aim.”

“Capella?”

“What up, baby?”

“Fuck ya!” I flipped him off and headed down the block to my next class while he beeped the horn and followed behind me.

Even after getting into the building, I laughed to myself and shook my head. I needed this new me.

This new us.

Our new reality…