Captivating You (How to Marry a Billionaire #2)

Episode 65

EPISODE 65

KISSING GHOSTS

Sienna

I wake up in my bed, the sheets wrapped around my naked body. It’s still dark outside, but dawn is approaching. My head aches and my nose is congested from all the crying I did while I was in the shower.

I have to go to the bathroom, so I rise. Once there, one look in the mirror is a terrible reminder. Though my face is scrubbed clean and devoid of makeup, my nose is red and my eyes are bloodshot. My eyelids are puffy, like freshly risen bread dough. They look like they’re filled with unshed tears.

I can’t possibly have any tears remaining, though. I cried in the shower until the water ran lukewarm, and then I dried off and went to bed and cried myself to sleep over worry for Lavonne, Leroy’s mother. I did my fair share of crying over Leroy too, and over Stephanie, the woman he gave up our four-year relationship for, only to have it not work out. And I cried about Alex and Brett. Zion and Marc. Especially Marc. I took a decent guy and nearly forced him to make me come, and then I callously threw him out of my room last night.

My hair is a ratty mass of brown strands because I didn’t comb through it after the shower. I grab my brush and try to smooth it out.

“Ow!” I yell as I yank through the tangles. A good ten minutes later, I can finally get a comb through my hair, but it’s frizzy and needs to be straightened. Not happening. I pull it back into a messy bun and leave the bathroom.

I look out my bedroom window. The night's inky blackness is beginning to retreat, giving way to the first hints of morning light. No one will be up at this hour, so I could take an early morning walk on the beach. Just me and the waves welcoming the dawn of a new day.

Maybe it’ll make me feel better.

Maybe it’ll make me feel worse.

I honestly don’t care.

I slide on some flip-flops and throw a blousy magenta cotton sundress over my head. Then I sneak out quietly, down the two flights of stairs and out of the mansion, following the path to the beach. Once I hit the sand I look out toward the ocean.

Someone sits close to the waves. It’s a man, and as the darkness continues to lift, I see his hair is blond.

It’s Brett.

Brett, who gave me three orgasms yesterday. What’s he doing up so early?

I should leave him alone. He’s clearly out here for the same reason I am—to be alone with the dawning morning and the gentle waves. Maybe he’s deep in meditation.

Or maybe he hasn’t been to bed at all.

I walk toward him slowly, my toes sinking into the sand and an early morning breeze drifting around my shoulders.

“Brett?” I say, when I’m standing next to him.

He looks up and meets my gaze. “Sienna? What are you doing out here?”

“Taking a walk. Looking for...something. I didn’t sleep well.”

He stands and brushes the sand off his jeans. “I’m sorry. Why couldn’t you sleep?”

I sigh. “Just...stuff.”

He studies me then, clearly taking in my swollen eyes and red nose as bright as Rudolph’s. “Hey. You okay?” He grabs my hand then and helps me sit next to him on the shore. I squish my toes into the sand once more and watch the midnight-blue waves rolling to the coast.

“I’m good.” I let out a scoffing chuckle. “That’s a lie, but you already know that.”

“You’ve been crying.”

I sniffle. “A little.”

“More than a little. It’s not something I did, is it? At our date?”

I lightly feather my fingers over his hand. “Oh, no, Brett. Of course not. I had a terrific time with you. Then I had to get that damned phone call. It messed me up a little.”

“Seb told me you may have to leave. If you do, I hope you’ll come back.”

I don’t reply right away. Thoughts and images flood my mind. I turn to Brett and look straight into his baby blues. “I came here because I thought I could find love, but I’m wondering if what I really needed was to find myself. I was a wallflower for so many years.”

“You? The dancing queen? You’re so smart and gorgeous. How were you ever a wallflower?”

I give him a weak smile. “I was a late bloomer. When I got to college, I left those days behind me, and when I met someone amazing, I thought my life was complete. But...”

“But...it ended.”

I sigh as the water crawls toward us, almost hitting my toes. “Yeah. It ended. It ended like a slap in the face. Completely unexpected, and now...he wants me back.”

“And what do you want, Sienna?”

“I wish I knew. I came here hoping to find love again, but love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, Brett.”

“Oh?”

I shake my head vehemently. “Love didn’t stop Leroy from cheating on me. He wants me back, but I no longer trust him. How can we possibly recover from that?”

“Hell if I know.” Brett stares out into the ocean as the sun begins to slide above the horizon.

“He broke my heart into a million pieces,” I say, tracing my finger in the sand. “I never want to feel that powerless again.”

Brett turns to me and grabs my arm almost harshly. “If it made you feel powerless, that means it was real, Sienna. For you, and probably for him too. Love is... Oh, hell, who am I to say what love is? I’ve only been in love once, and it was a long time ago. But it was real. Fucking real. One-sided, but as real as the water in the ocean and the stars in the sky. It was precious to me, and I did everything in the world to sabotage it. I didn’t mean to, but that was the end result, and frankly I didn’t feel worthy of that love anyway. Maybe that’s what happened with Leroy. Maybe what you had was so good, so precious, that he didn’t know how to handle it. He subconsciously sabotaged the best thing that had ever happened to him because he felt unworthy.”

Brett’s eyes are glassy, and I can’t quite tell if he’s looking at me or through me. His jaw is rigid, and his lips tremble ever so slightly. I want to say something to ease the pain I’m sensing from him, but I can’t.

Brett, the biggest flirt of the bunch and the man who admits how much he loves to fuck and fuck a lot, has a depth I never imagined.

“It was real,” he continues. “What I felt back then. And what you had with Leroy was also real. But this?” He waves his hand around, gesturing backward toward the mansion. “This isn’t real. Not yet. Maybe not ever. It’s only possibility. It’s fantasy. That’s why it’s so exciting, so intoxicating.”

I inhale and let his words sink in. “How can I be sure I make the right decision?”

“You can’t, Sienna. There’s a risk to everything. Nothing is set in stone. I take risks every day with my money. That’s the only way to make billions. What you have to decide is whether something is worth the risk—in this case, to your heart.”

“I just don’t know.”

He leans toward me and pushes a lock of hair that has come loose from my bun behind my ear. “I let someone go once.”

I cup his stubbled cheek. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

He shakes his head. “It’s ancient history, and in my case, it’s too late. But it doesn’t have to be too late for you. Do you still love him?”

I honestly don’t know how to answer Brett’s question. Leroy will always have a piece of my heart, but he didn’t take care of it. He broke it. Now he wants to mend it, but will he be able to? Will I ever be able to trust him again?

“Part of me will always love him,” I finally say.

He smiles. “I had an incredible time with you last night, Sienna.”

“I’m glad. I did too.”

“You’re warm and beautiful and your intelligence knows no bounds. I’d love to get to know you better, but I’m honestly not interested in pursuing something real with a person who’s hung up on someone else.”

“But I’m?—”

He reaches forward and gently places his fingers over my lips. “Your heart isn’t your own to give right now. You and I both know it. You owe it to yourself to see him, talk to him. Maybe you can work it out, and maybe you can’t, but you have to try. It’s too late for me. But it doesn’t have to be too late for you.”

He stands and pulls me up next to him. In a flash he’s pulled me into his body and his lips are on mine. The kiss is raw and frantic, and our tongues duel as if our lives depend on it.

Minutes pass until just as quickly, we both pull back. I gaze at him, and he’s so handsome, so magnificent. But it’s someone else’s eyes I want looking into mine.

And I see the same longing in his.

We’re both kissing ghosts.

He slides a finger over my cheek and down my neck and shoulder. “If I could turn back time, I would do so many things differently...”

I simply nod.

“Take a chance,” he says. “Take the risk, Sienna. Go talk to him while you still have time. If it doesn’t work out, you can always return to the island.”

Then Brett turns and walks back toward the mansion.

Alone.