13. Killian
KILLIAN
S he did two shots and has been sipping the same frothy pink drink for the past two hours. Lilah’s tiny, but I don’t think she’s drunk. What she is, is determined to drive me crazy. Instead of staying by my side, I’ve watched her flit around the bar like the damn fairy she’s nicknamed after. Lucky for the men here tonight, she hasn’t allowed any of them to get close unless they’re a relative of hers or mine. That I can handle... I think .
My jaw clenches when Rome throws his arm over her shoulder, so his hand is dangling dangerously close to her breast, and looks right at me.
“Your brother has a death wish,” I grumble to Maddox, knowing I’m going to make the fucker pay when we spar on Monday.
“You just now figuring that out, Killer?”
Rome leans in and whispers something to Lilah that has her turning to look at me with a mischievous smile before she blows me a kiss.
Fucking brat.
“You sure you know what you’re doing, cousin?” Maddox offers me a beer, but I shake my head. “Because you look like you’re about to throw that girl over your shoulder... Or maybe your knee.”
“ Not a bad idea,” I mumble and watch her throw her head back with laughter.
I’ve chased this girl once tonight. We’ve kissed twice. And I’ve been hard all fucking night long. I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing or why I’ve waited a lifetime to do it. Probably should have done it when we were kids. Or at least an acceptable version of it for two high schoolers. “And the answer is no. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. Just that I want to do it more than is probably healthy.”
“Fuck health. We could all be dead tomorrow from the next ice age the way the snow has been falling this winter. Just don’t fuck shit up. Not with Lilah and not with Noah and the guys. Trust me.”
“Yeah. I get it.” When Maddox’s best friend knocked up his little sister, it definitely complicated shit between our friends. “But this is just a one-night kinda truce.”
The minute the words leave my mouth, I know I’m full of shit.
And as Rome slides his arm from around Lilah’s shoulders down to her waist, I feel like a bull that just had a crimson red flag swung in front of it.
“Lilah doesn’t seem like a one-night-truce kinda girl,” Maddox warns me, like I need to be told what kind of girl Lilah is. She’s the same girl who stops in the middle of the street to make sure a turtle gets safely across the road. She’s the girl who volunteers at the soup kitchen with a hat pulled over her eyes and absolutely no media anywhere to be seen because she wants to, not because it looks good. She’s the girl who helped me study for my driver’s test and used to sit, writing songs, while I was working out at the gym, just so she didn’t have to be alone.
I don’t care how many years it’s been. I know Lilah Ryan.
“No shit, cousin. But if I can get her to forget she hates me for one night, it’s a start. And I think it’s about time I take the birthday girl home before your momma gets pissed that I broke her son.”
“It’s his life,” he laughs like an asshole. “He knows what he’s doing.”
“See ya, man.” I push away from the bar and ignore Jamie and Noah’s glares as I move between Lilah and Rome.
Guess not everyone was good with our little show earlier.
Might not want to ask me if I care though.
At least not right now.
“Excuse me,” Rome bitches, like I’m stealing his favorite toy.
Sorry, buddy. She was never yours.
Even if I can’t bring myself to admit it’s because she was always mine.
“Fuck off, Beneventi.” I replace his arm with mine, and Lilah smiles like I just did exactly what she wanted as she leans into my side. “You ready to get out of here, princess?”
Her beautiful blue eyes shine. “What took you so damn long, St. James?”
That’s a great question.
“Jesus Christ. Get a room and then don’t tell us about it,” Jamie bitches.
I think Noah dry heaves. “Yeah. Get this shit out of the way, then go back to hating each other so everything can be right in the world, okay?”
Lilah gives them both the finger, then pulls her phone from her purse. “Just let me text Xander to bring the car around back.” Her fingers fly across the screen before she looks up and smiles her prettiest smile. Not because it’s perfect. Because it’s real. “Done. We’re outta here, bitches. See you at dinner Sunday night.”
She laces her fingers with mine, and that smile eases into something different.
Something bolder.
It holds a promise and begs for relief.
I press my lips to the top of her head as we walk through the crowd and into the back hall. “I thought I told you to stick by my side.”
Lilah laughs, having absolutely no clue what she’s doing to me... or maybe she does. “Yes, you did, champ. You gonna punish me?”
“Fuck, Lilah. You can’t say that shit to me.” I crowd her up against the wall. “Christ, woman. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
I stretch her wrists over her head and hold them as I drag my lips up the long column of her neck, my body pressing against hers. The hard length of my cock against her stomach. The heat rolling off us in waves. “Every single time you smiled that smart mouth my way, I thought about fucking you, princess. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you’re trying to do to me?”
Lilah’s breath stutters, and she licks her lips for a hot second before she leans into the wall and uses it to balance so she can wrap her legs around my waist.
Holy fucking hell.
I drop her hands and dig my fingers into her bare ass under this joke of a dress. She might as well be naked behind the sparkles because it’s all I’ve been picturing since the first second I saw her in it.
Her arms wrap around my neck, and her teeth graze my ear. “That’s exactly what I was hoping for...”
The door to Maddox’s office opens, one I hadn’t even realized we were standing nearly on top of, and my roommate Bellamy walks out, followed by a smiling Maverick. “Uh... you didn’t see anything.”
Lilah buries her face in my neck, giggling, until she gasps when my finger slips under her thong. Her wet thong.
“Not a fucking thing, buddy.” I wait for him to walk by, then take Lilah’s lips again. “You’re the only thing I saw.”
Lilah
T he drive home is a master class in exquisite torture.
Killian and I sit side by side in the back seat of the Rover, touching—but not.
Wanting, but holding back.
My bare, crossed legs pressed against his jean-clad thigh.
His big arm resting on the back of the seat, fingers teasing the nape of my neck.
We’re not looking at each other for fear one of us may jump.
And my bigger fear is that one may be me .
My biggest fear, however, is that this is one gigantic mistake.
That I’m thinking with my head and not my heart.
My head can rationalize us giving in tonight and hating him again tomorrow.
My heart isn’t so sure that’s possible.
Not when this is what I’ve always wanted. Maybe even when I hated him. Definitely before.
Once we’re past my gate and Xander is parked, he looks back in the rearview mirror. “Are you in for the night, Lilah?” His hard eyes flash between Killian and me when I nod. “Understood.”
Killian gets out, blocking Xander from opening the door for me and takes my hand. “I’ve got her, thanks.”
Heat prickles my skin with the touch of his rough palm, and I drag my teeth over my lower lip to keep from making a joke about Killian marking his territory like a dog. We may have a twenty-four-hour truce, but old habits die hard, and I feel like he just peed a ring around me.
“Looks like Xander isn’t your biggest fan, St. James.” Okay, I had to tease a little.
“He wants to fuck you.” Killian’s big palm swallows the entire span of my back, making me wonder just how big the rest of him is. “I wouldn’t like me either tonight if I were him. Now, ask me if I care.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea of the answer,” I giggle as I unlock the door and disable the alarm, just before Killian spins us so my back is flat against the wall... again.
His pupils are blown wide with need, nearly eclipsing his green irises, but he doesn’t touch me. Just crowds me. “Tell me you’re good with this, Lilah.”
Holy shit. His voice . . . It’s barely controlled and so . . . hot.
“One night, St. James...” I answer, nearly not recognizing my own lust-drunk voice.
His chest moves with the deep exhale that leaves him, and my entire body tenses and tightens with anticipation. “ One night ... Fuck, princess. One night isn’t going to be enough.”
He threads his fingers through my hair and holds me still while those eyes focus on something he sees reflected in mine. The look, so damn desperate and yet so utterly alpha that I fight desperately to cling to some semblance of control.
And for the second time tonight, I regret the tiny scrap of lace I chose as lingerie.
His scent wraps around me like a drug, and my God, I need another hit.
I tilt my chin up in defiance, and Killian moves his face closer. His lips hovering above mine, daring me to fight him. I’ve waited my whole life for him to kiss me, and now that I know what it feels like, I may never want to stop.
Damn him.
“I hate that nickname,” I pant.
Yup. Pant. Because that’s what he does to me.
“No.” He drops one hand to my thigh and drags his fingers up and under my dress. “ You .” His fingers slide between my legs and over my damp panties. “Don’t. Princess .”
My thong is pushed aside, and he slowly strokes my sex.
“So stop lying to yourself and to me.” He traces me and drags his fingers around my thrumming clit. “Because your body doesn’t lie.”
“Hmmm...” I hum deep in my throat and hold onto his shoulders for dear life as my knees threaten to buckle when he finally pushes one blunt finger inside me.
Oh. My. God.
My body burns for more.
For him
“Jesus, Lilah. You’re so tight.” He pulls out and runs my juices back up to my clit and smiles when I shake. “So hot.”
Stars burst behind my eyes with a sudden overwhelming need like never before, and I drag his face down and attack his lips. Tasting. Teasing. Rolling my tongue with his, so fucking needy that all rational thought leaves me momentarily as he rips another whimper from my chest.
“So tight . . .”
I pull him back to my face. “Just imagine how good it’s gonna feel when you’re inside me.”
“Fuck, princess... You’re killing me. Do I still need to be worried about your virtue staying intact?”
I laugh, then moan as he stretches me with a second finger. “My virtue has been gone for years. It could have been yours, but you missed out on that, champ.”
He yanks his fingers free from my body, and I cry out from the loss before he brings them to my mouth and traces my lips. “Open.”
Holy. Shit.
I do as I’m told, and Killian presses his finger against my tongue.
Ohh . . . That’s hot.
“No talk of the past tonight, or everything stops.” He pulls his fingers away and drops to his knees with a devilish grin.
The devil you know.
And wow, this devil is more intoxicating than any cocktail I’ve ever had.
No man should look that good staring up at you.
Like a fucking Greek god. The god of sex.
“Nod if you agree, Lilah.”
His hands slide my dress up around my waist, then grip the thin nude strings of my thong resting on my hips. “Nod, Lilah.”
I slam my head back against the wall, needing the support. Afraid I’m about to crash. This is such an epically bad idea, but I don’t care. Hate him or not, it was always supposed to be this... us. Damn it. I’m strung so tight, if he breathes on me the right way, I might just come.
The need in his eyes.
The strength in the way he’s holding his body back... waiting for my okay.
My permission. Damn him.
I nod, and Killian rips my panties in half.
Jesus Christ. Literally snaps the strings from my body.
He lifts one leg over his shoulder in a beautifully smooth move, and I force the idea of him doing this with another woman out of my head. I dig my hands into his hair as he drags his nose up my leg.
“Such a pretty pussy, princess. Now open those eyes and lock ’em on me. I want you to watch what I’m going to do to you.”
Of course he’s good at dirty talk.
Two big, wet fingers spread me, and this man drags his flattened tongue up the length of my pussy and sucks my clit. Then he drags his teeth over it and bites. Bites . Bursts of light flash behind my eyes, and my body convulses as I come violently, without any control.
That’s it.
That’s all it takes for my world to stop spinning and tilt off its axis.
Killian licks and sucks me through one orgasm, then adds one finger, then another until I’m screaming as another orgasm rips through me and my knees give out.
“Knew you’d be pretty when you come, princess.” He stands, lifting me in his arms, then takes my mouth with his in the hottest kiss of my life. Of. My. Life.
Tasting myself on his lips, I want to drop to my knees and return the favor, but Killian has other plans as he carries me up my winding staircase, like you’d carry a bride across a threshold.
“In case you ever wondered what I picture when I’m jerking off, know it’s that,” he growls against my lips. “I’ve pictured you so many times with my cock in my hand. Me fucking you. The way your tits would bounce. You on your knees with your ass in the air.” He sucks my tongue, and I feel the tingle down to my toes. “The taste of you on my tongue. So pretty, princess.”
“I—” I start to answer, but he cuts me off.
“No, you don’t.”