Captured Love (The Crestwood University #3)

5. Selene

5

SELENE

I adjust the strap of my bookbag and then knock on Isla’s dorm room door. A few seconds later, the door swings open, and Isla gives me a big grin. She’s wearing fuzzy socks, which make me smirk. “Hey, Selene,” she says, stepping aside to let me in. “Thanks for stopping by.”

I’m not surprised she said that. When we hang out at each other’s places, ninety-five percent of the time, we are at my dorm because Isla and her roommate, Tessa, don’t get along.

Isla has tried to keep the peace, but I would have probably ended up getting hauled off to jail if she’d said the things she said about Isla the last time I was in this building. To mock someone for a condition, let alone an invisible illness they can’t control, is cruel. If I hadn’t reminded myself what was at stake if I’d jumped in to help Isla, who did an excellent job defending herself by the way, I might not be on campus right now.

I slip past her into the room, and the first thing I notice is a few textbooks and notebooks scattered on her bed. I move the things out of the way and flop down onto the mattress, pretending I’m one hundred percent relaxed when I’m anything but.

Isla grabs a binder and leans over to place it on her desk so she can sit beside me. She folds her legs underneath herself and gives me a once-over. “How’ve you been holding up?”

“Me? Oh, I’m fantastic,” I say with a grin that I hope looks genuine. “Just living my best life, starring in a new sitcom called My Emotions Are a Hot Mess —the ratings are through the roof.”

She snorts out a laugh, and I gotta say, it’s one of my better jokes. “I can imagine. Anything from Knox?”

“Nope and I’m not expecting anything. He can kiss my big ass for all I care.”

Isla rolls her eyes at me. “Your ass isn’t big, but I understand the sentiment.”

I shrug, but I don’t believe her. A lifetime of shrugging off compliments about my body has left me with Olympic-level shoulder strength. Isla means well, but she doesn't understand what it's like to walk around in a body that makes me feel as if I’ll never be good enough.

I glance at her slender frame and quickly look away, feeling the familiar twinge of jealousy mixed with guilt. It’s not Isla’s fault she’s naturally petite, just as it’s not my fault I’m mid-size. I constantly feel as if I’m literally caught in the middle. Still, it’s hard not to compare, especially when every magazine cover and social media feed is filled with girls who look more like her than me.

“So,” Isla says, drawing out the word like she’s stretching dough, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Here it comes. The intervention. The moment where she tells me that I’ve been too angsty, too dramatic, too much of a burden as a friend. I brace myself for the blow.

“Don’t freak out,” she adds, which, of course, makes me freak out more.

“Just spit it out,” I say with a small laugh to soften my tone. “Whatever it is, I can take it.”

“Maybe you need to find someone else to date? Or, hell, just have sex with?”

I pause for a moment, shocked that my best friend of over a decade would say something like that. She’s serious. Maybe I am rubbing off on her in more ways than I thought. “You’re suggesting a rebound?”

She nods, her ponytail bobbing with enthusiasm. “Or even just a distraction.”

The idea is sounding better the more I think about it. I sit up straighter, the mattress springs complaining beneath me. “I mean, sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” I say.

“The point is, you shouldn't let Knox have this much power over you. You deserve to be happy, Selene.”

Happy. What a loaded word. I think about the last time I was truly happy and come up frustratingly blank. Life has been a series of manageable but persistent grinds—school, work, family—and most recently, the unexpected emotional rollercoaster with Knox. But I’d be lying to myself if I said the conversations we had with each other didn’t make me happy.

At least, at the time they did. Now I kind of regretted them. But maybe Isla is right. Maybe I’ve been putting too much stock in one person, letting him dictate how I feel when I shouldn’t.

“I don't even know where to start,” I admit. “It's not like there's a queue of eligible bachelors worth a damn lining up for their turn.”

Isla smirks and gives me a playful shove. “Please, you're gorgeous and you know it. We can start compiling a list.”

I roll my eyes, but there is excitement brewing inside of me. A list. It sounds ridiculous yet kind of fun. Like we’re in high school again, writing down our crushes during physics class.

“Fine, let’s hear it,” I say, crossing my arms but leaning in closer. “Who’s number one?”

Isla taps her chin thoughtfully. “Well, there’s Ryan from the soccer team. He’s had a thing for you since freshman year.”

“Ryan is cute, but he’s also like a little puppy. I don’t think I could break his heart and still sleep at night.”

“Noted,” Isla says, pretending to jot something down in an invisible notebook. “What about Derek from lab?”

“Derek?” I scrunch my nose. “He’s got a girlfriend. Next.”

Isla laughs. “You’re so picky! Okay, let me think… Ah! What about Lucas? He’s tall, smart, and single.”

“Lucas the math tutor? He tried to mansplain calculus to me. Hard pass.”

We go back and forth like this for a while, Isla suggesting names and me shooting them down with increasingly absurd excuses. Despite my refusal to take any of her suggestions seriously, I’m actually having fun. It feels good to be thinking about something other than Knox and the mess I’ve made of my life.

“And there's always dating apps,” Isla says, throwing her hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Swipe right, swipe left. It's like online shopping for boys.”

I make a face. “You know how I feel about dating apps. They're filled with creeps.”

“Come on, it's the twenty-first century! How else are you going to meet new people? You don't have to marry the guy. Just have some fun.”

I open my mouth to protest, but before I can say anything, the door swings open and Tessa walks in.

She’s wearing one of those oversized flannel shirts and leggings. Her hair is in a messy bun on the top of her head, and she’s carrying a stack of books so high I wonder how she even opened the door.

“Oh great, you guys are here,” Tessa says, dumping the books onto her desk. The stack wobbles but miraculously doesn’t topple over. “Having a gossip session? Some of us have actual work to do, you know.”

“We were just finishing up,” I say quickly, trying to defuse the situation.

“Good,” Tessa says, already half turned toward her side of the room, ready to ignore both of us. “I’m ready to have some peace and quiet.”

“Actually, Tessa,” Isla interjects, her voice deceptively sweet, “we could use your expert opinion on something.”

I wince. This isn’t going to end well. It’s obvious to me that Isla is full of shit, but I’m curious to see how all of this unfolds.

Tessa turns slowly with one eyebrow arched. “Oh? Since when do you value my opinion?”

I clear my throat, trying to cut in before Isla can escalate things further. “We’re making a list,” I say. “Of potential rebounds for me.”

Tessa’s eyes flicker with interest. “A rebound? For you?” She crosses her arms and leans against her desk, studying me. I can almost see the gears turning in her head. “That’s ambitious.”

“It was Isla’s idea,” I say, throwing my best friend under the bus but also hoping it will shift some of the growing tension away from me.

Isla shrugs nonchalantly. “Selene deserves to move on and be happy. We’re just brainstorming options.”

“Oh, I have no doubt Selene will move on,” Tessa says, a sly smile creeping onto her lips. “So, who’s on the list so far?”

I hesitate, but Isla jumps in with fake enthusiasm. “Ryan from the soccer team, Derek from her lab class?—”

“He has a girlfriend,” I interject.

“—and Lucas the math tutor.”

Tessa snorts. “That’s the best you can come up with? No offense, but it sounds like you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel.”

“Do you have a better suggestion?” Isla challenges.

Tessa looks directly at me, her eyes piercing through me. “No, but make sure it’s not Knox. I assume you’re connected to him since she’s already dating Asher.”

My eyes nearly pop out of my skull, but I do my best to control my expression. I spare a glance at Isla, and she looks as taken aback as I do. For a moment, the room is completely silent.

“Knox?” I say, my voice coming out higher and more strangled than I intended. “You're joking, right?”

Tessa shrugs, the sly smile never leaving her face. “He’s off limits.”

This almost feels like an outer body experience, but I need to ask. “Why is he off limits?”

Tessa shrugs. “He’s my ex-boyfriend. We dated in high school.”

This revelation hits me like a ton of bricks. I don’t even know how to process this new information.

“Wow,” Isla says, her voice more subdued now.

“I know. Normally, I wouldn’t care if he was on your stupid list, but I have plans for him. That’s why he’s a no go,” Tessa says, turning back to her desk and pulling out her chair. She throws her body into her seat before she looks at Isla and then me over her shoulder. “We’re going to get back together.”

Have I been transported to a parallel universe? That’s the only explanation that makes sense. But it’s all a bit too much. “Ah…okay,” I say before turning to my best friend. “Isla, I’m going to head out, but I’ll text you when I get back to my room.”

“I’ll come with you. We could do our homework…or drink. Either one.”

I nod quickly. “Deal.”

For a second, I just stand there, looking as if I’m watching Isla get ready, but in reality, my mind has actually been blown. I’m still reeling from Tessa’s smug declaration about her and Knox. And what it could potentially mean when she finds out he and I slept together.

Going to my room and drinking sounds more and more like the likely outcome of all of this.