26. Selene
26
SELENE
I flip another page of my textbook, the same book I’m supposed to be using to help me study for an exam in a couple of days. I’m convinced that the words are blurring together versus it being a result of my exhaustion. Normally, being up late for my shift at the library is easy peasy, but tonight I’m struggling.
As I fight the urge to yawn, my mind keeps drifting back to Knox's invitation from several days ago. I’m still trying to figure out why he thought it was a good idea to invite me to his grandmother's birthday celebration. Things have been great, but still, it caught me off guard.
This feels like a massive step and while I want to go, I’m left wondering what the hell all of this means. Are things moving too fast between the two of us?
Maybe? Probably? Yolo?
As I debate what all of this might mean, I turn the page again and I notice a folded note. I stare at it for few seconds because I’m confused by what I’m looking at. This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve found little notes or mementos in my college books, but it’s also super random.
I unfold the note and immediately recognize the handwriting. It’s because I have another letter with similar penmanship. However, this note is much more uplifting than the one I received previously.
Just thinking about you and wanted to leave you a little something. You’re going to kick that exam’s ass.
Yours
-K
A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I reread Knox's words, It's such a simple gesture, but his reassurance feels like a warm hug on a cold winter night.
It's strange how a few scribbled lines can shift my entire mood. The stress of this exam, my exhaustion, the confusion over our relationship fades for a moment. For these precious few moments, they don’t matter. His words have managed to muffle all of the other noise in my brain, giving me a chance to just exist.
I fold the note carefully and tuck it into my wallet for safe keeping. I try to remove the tiredness from my body by standing up and stretching. It helps somewhat, but I could still fall asleep at this desk with no problem.
When I sit back down at the circulation desk, I pull out my phone to send Knox a quick text message.
Me: Found your note. That was really sweet, thank you.
I wait about ten seconds to see if Knox is going to respond. When he doesn't, I force myself to focus back on my textbook. I need to make at least a small dent in this material before my shift ends.
I manage to read a few more pages before my phone vibrates with an incoming text. My heart skips a beat as I grab it, hoping it's Knox. Sure enough, his name lights up the screen.
Knox: Anytime and I meant every word. You've got this.
I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face. Seriously, what is this life that this is now happening to me?
Me: Thanks for the vote of confidence. I needed that tonight.
Knox: Rough shift?
Me: I’m just tired. And studying for this exam is kicking my ass.
Knox: I’m sorry. Wish I could be there.
I stare at Knox's last message and sigh. He has an early morning practice and shouldn’t even be texting me right now, if I’m being honest.
Me: I wish you were here too. It would make this night a lot better. But also, go to sleep.
Knox: You're right. And Coach will have my ass if I’m not bright eyed and bushy tailed. Night, picosita.
Me: Haha goodnight.
I put my phone away, still smiling as I eye my textbook. Who would have thought that all I needed was Knox's thoughtfulness to get me through the rest of my shift? I manage to review quite a few pages and am pleased that the concepts are finally starting to click into place.
After I do my routine of making sure that everyone is out of the library, I make my way to the entrance to lock those doors. But what greets me leaves me stunned.
There, standing outside the library doors, is Knox. He's leaning against a brick wall, one hand tucked into his pocket, the other holding onto what looks like a cup of coffee. When he sees me, a slow smile spreads across his face.
I push open the door, my heart doing a little flip in my chest. “What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. “I thought you had an early practice.”
“I do. But I couldn't stop thinking about you and figured you could use some midnight fuel.”
“You didn't have to do that,” I say as I reach for the cup. Our fingers brush, and goosebumps appear on my arms.
“I wanted to,” Knox says simply. “I know how hard you've been working.”
I take a sip of the coffee, and I swear it’s like everything makes sense again. “Thank you,” I say softly. “This is exactly what I needed.”
“You’re welcome.”
Together, we walk to the parking lot, and I quickly realize that my car is the only car there. “Where’s your car?”
“Wilder owed me a favor.”
“And you made him pay you back at midnight? By helping you bring me coffee?”
Knox shrugs. “It was worth it.”
I chuckle. “You’re something else, Knox Sanchez.”
“And I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I wave him off. “Of course you would. But I’ll allow it since this coffee tastes delicious.”
When we reach my car, I turn to face him. “Did you want to come back to my place, or should I drop you off at yours?”
“Well, as much as I'd love to come back to your place, I should probably get some sleep before practice. I didn’t bring my gear, but… that doesn’t mean you can’t come back to my place. You can use my desk and sleep in. I want to have you in my arms, even if it’s for an hour.”
“That’s…not a bad idea. I can pack a quick bag, so if you’re cool with me stopping at my dorm, I can make that work.”
Knox nods. “I'm more than cool with that. Let's swing by your dorm so you can grab what you need.”
The drive to my place is quick, and I dash inside to throw some clothes and my toothbrush into a bag. When I return to the car, Knox is fiddling with the radio, settling on a soft indie station.
As we make our way to his house, a comfortable silence settles between us. It's late, and the streets are quiet, the world feeling still and peaceful. Knox reaches over and takes my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. The simple touch makes me feel even more at peace.
When we arrive at the hockey house, all the lights are out. Knox leads me inside with his hand resting gently on the small of my back. When he closes the door behind us, I realize just how quiet it is. And it feels so strange. I’ve been here when there are no parties going on, but this still feels weird.
Knox takes my bag from me, and I follow him up the stairs to his bedroom.
“It's so quiet,” I whisper. “I don't think I've ever heard it this silent before.”
“That's because everyone's actually asleep for once,” he says as he closes his bedroom door, shutting us off from the rest of the world. Thankfully, he left his desk lamp on so we can still see.
“And yet here you are, awake at an ungodly hour, all to bring me coffee and let me invade your space.”
He reaches out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Invade away. I just like being around you whenever I get the opportunity. And that’s something I thought I would never say again.”
“A lot of things are changing, I guess.”
Knox nods and gives me a small. “That they are. That they are…” His voice trails off. “Okay, let’s get you all set up so that you can study.”
“And you can go to sleep. Don’t forget that part.”
Knox chuckles softly as he sets my bag near his desk. “I won't forget. But first, let's make sure you have everything you need.”
He clears some space on his desk, stacking his own textbooks and papers neatly to the side. Then he pulls out the chair, gesturing for me to sit.
I do as he wants and set my now-cool coffee down on the surface. I pull out my textbook and notes, preparing to get at least a couple of more hours of studying in.
“Is there anything else you need?” Knox asks, his voice low. “A blanket?”
I glance up at him. “I think I'm good. But thank you.”
“Okay. I'll let you get to it then.”
As he turns to head toward his bed, I reach out and catch his hand. “Knox?”
He looks back at me with an eyebrow raised.
I give his hand a gentle squeeze. “Thank you. For everything tonight. It means a lot.”
“Stop thanking me. I’m happy to do this for you.” With a final squeeze of my hand, he lets go and makes his way to the bed.
I watch as he strips off his shirt and jeans, leaving him in just his boxers. Even in the dim light, I can't help but admire his body. Knox catches me staring and smirks, making me quickly turn back to my textbook.
I hear the rustle of sheets as Knox climbs into bed. “Good night. Wake me if you need anything.”
“I will. Sweet dreams,” I whisper back.
The room falls quiet except for the sound of Knox's even breathing and me occasionally turning a page. I manage to review a couple of chapters before I can feel the crash that’s about to happen.
When it’s hard for me to keep my head up, I decide to call it quits. I make my way to the bag that I packed, quickly change into my pajamas, turn off the lamp, and manage to crawl into Knox’s bed without stubbing my toe.
As if he knows that I’ve joined him in his bed, he turns his body, molding it around mine. I hear what sounds like my name mumbled under his breath, and I can’t help but release a sigh of relief.
I’m at peace here and his arms. It’s when I come to the realization that I’m making the right choice by going to meet Knox’s family this weekend.