34. Selene
34
SELENE
I walk up to my regular treadmill with my earbuds already blasting my go-to workout playlist. I’m pumped up and ready to go before I head back to my place to get cleaned up and wait for Knox to come by.
And I can’t wait to tell him that I have proof that his ex-girlfriend is stalking him.
I crank up the speed on the treadmill, my feet pounding in rhythm with the heavy bass thumping through my earbuds. Sweat beads on my forehead as I push myself harder, determined to beat my personal best. I'm in the zone, focused solely on the digital numbers ticking upward on the display.
Thirty minutes later, I'm a sweaty mess but feeling triumphant as I cool down with a light jog. I hop off the treadmill and wipe the sweat from my face and neck.
As I grab my water bottle and start toward the area with the yoga mats, I can't help but glance over at the free weights section again. The usual crowd of regulars are there, chatting and laughing between reps like they own the place. A familiar knot of anxiety starts to form in my stomach, but I force myself to take a deep breath.
Before I can second-guess myself, I march right up to the rack of dumbbells. I can do this without Knox being here. The first thing I do is select a set of five pound dumbbells and remind myself that I'm here for me, not to impress anyone else. I find an open spot and start my first set of bicep curls, focusing on my form and breathing.
At first, I feel self-conscious, like everyone must be staring at me and judging. But as I power through the reps, I start to find my rhythm. The burn in my muscles feels good; I would even say it’s empowering. I catch one of the regulars giving me a subtle nod of approval in the mirror.
I finish my set and rest the weights at my sides and breathe out a sigh of relief. It's a small victory, but it feels huge to me. I'm not the same insecure girl I was just a few weeks ago. I'm stronger now, inside and out.
As I set the weights down and take a long drink from my water bottle, I start to think about Knox and the bombshell I'm about to drop on him. I still can't believe Isla and I found all the information she’s been tabulating for who knows how long in that little black book of hers. First of all, it’s creepy as hell. Second of all, why? Why go through all that trouble instead of just going to Knox?
Has she gone to Knox?
The thought makes me pause mid-sip. What if Tessa has continued to try and reconnect with Knox this whole time? The knot in my stomach tightens. I shake my head, trying to get rid of the uneasy feeling that is creeping into my body. No, Knox would have told me if she had reached out again. He's always been upfront about their history, even if he doesn't like talking about it much.
I grab my stuff and head to the locker room, my mind still coming up with questions. As I put on my outerwear, I try to focus on the positives. I faced my fear at the gym today. School is going well. I'm making progress with my diet and in the gym, not to mention, I’m getting stronger. And Knox and I have been getting closer.
I finish getting dressed and check my phone. Nothing from Knox yet, which tells me I have enough time to probably jump in the shower and prepare a little before he arrives.
I hurry back to my dorm, taking the stairs two at a time. I unlock my door and toss my gym bag near the bed. I grab all of the things that I need, head to the bathroom, strip off my sweaty clothes, and jump in the shower. The soothing hot water does a number on my sore muscles, and I love every second of it. I debate whether it’s worth washing my hair before I decide it needs it. As I’m working shampoo onto my scalp, I rehearse what I'm going to say to Knox.
“So, Isla and I found something that you should probably know about...” No, too casual. “Knox, there's something important I need to tell you, and it's about Tessa.” Better, but still not quite right.
I sigh and rinse the suds from my hair. Maybe I should just wing it and see what comes out. It might be better than me overanalyzing this. With a heavy sigh, I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body and another around my hair. I dash back to my room and get changed. Just as I’m about to start blow drying my hair, I hear a knock at the door. My heart leaps into my throat. Is Knox early?
I quickly throw on a cozy oversized cardigan and try not to care about how my damp hair is leaving wet splotches on the shoulders. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I open the door to find Knox standing there, hands tucked into the pockets of his worn leather jacket.
“Hey,” he greets me with that trademark smirk of his. “You're looking quite wet.”
I roll my eyes, but I’m not even remotely upset. “I just got out of the shower, smartass. You're early.”
“What can I say? I couldn't wait to see you,” he teases as I step aside to let him in. The scent of his cologne already has me wanting to melt into a puddle on the floor.
Knox plops down on my bed like it’s his own. “So, what's this important thing you needed to tell me?”
“Well there are a couple of things I want to tell you actually. Do you want to start with the good or the bad?”
Knox folds his arms across his chest. “Let's start with the good. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.”
I take a deep breath and sit down next to him on the bed. “Well, the good news is that I finally faced my fear at the gym today. I used the free weights without you there to hold my hand.”
Knox's face lights up and it’s so weird to see him this happy for me. “Selene, that's amazing! I knew you could do it. Hell yeah!”
“Thanks, Knox. It felt really good, like I'm finally making progress, not just physically but mentally too.”
“I never doubted that for a second,” he says softly, reaching out to tuck a damp strand of hair behind my ear.
I clear my throat and look away. “So, about the bad news...”
Knox's expression turns serious. “Yeah, what's going on?”
I take another deep breath, steeling myself. “It's about Tessa. Isla and I found something that you need to see.”
I reach for my phone, unlock it, and pull up the photos, my hand shaking slightly as I pass it to Knox. “This notebook belongs to Tessa. It...it looks like she's been keeping tabs on you. Like, obsessively.”
Knox's expression grows more serious as he scrolls through the images. There are pages filled with notes about his class schedule, hockey practices, even what he ordered for lunch in some places. “What the hell?” he mutters under his breath.
“I know,” I say quietly. “It's beyond creepy. And look at the last page.”
Knox swipes to the final image. His eyes widen and his jaw clenches. “She has information about us in here?”
“Yes.”
Knox stares at the screen, his eyes scanning over the details Tessa has and he looks almost as dumbfounded as I felt the first time I read it.
“This is...” he starts, then shakes his head. “I don't even know what to say. How long has she been doing this?”
“I don't know,” I admit. I swear my stomach rolls, making me feel slightly nauseous. “But from the looks of it, it's been going on for a while.”
Knox sets the phone down and rubs a hand over his face. I can see the tension throughout his body. “I thought she was finally out of my life for good. I never imagined she'd go this far. She sent me a couple more text messages after the one I told you about, but I just blocked her without responding.”
I reach out and grab his hand. “I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how violated you must feel right now.”
Knox squeezes my hand. Not enough to hurt me, but I can tell he’s barely containing his rage. “This is bullshit. I can't believe she's been stalking me this whole time.”
“Yes, and as a result, us.” A chill runs down my spine at the thought of Tessa watching us. “You don't think she's been, like, physically stalking us together, do you? Taking photos or videos?”
Knox's jaw tightens and he looks like he wants to punch something. Or someone. “If she is, I swear to...” He doesn't finish the thought, but I can imagine where it was going.
This time, it’s my turn to grab his hand because I swear my blood turns to ice. “Knox, we had sex in the library. What if she saw us?!”
Knox's eyes widen at the realization. “Shit. The library.” He stands up abruptly and starts pacing, running a hand through his hair. “If she saw that... Selene, I'm so sorry. I never meant to put you in this position.”
I shake my head as I try to push down the rising panic. “It's not your fault. Neither of us could have known she was capable of something like this.”
But the thought of Tessa possibly watching us makes my skin crawl. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling exposed even though I'm fully clothed.
Knox notices my discomfort and sits back down beside me, his expression softening. “Hey, we're going to figure this out, okay? I won't let her hurt you or invade our privacy anymore. At least there’s no indication that she saw that in the images you snapped.”
I lean into Knox, seeking comfort in his solid presence. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer. For a moment, we just sit there in silence, processing what this all could mean. I break the silence first.
“I just can't believe she would do this,” I whisper. “I mean, I knew she said you were off limits when I was thinking about rebounds, but this is next level?—”
“Wait a minute. Rebounds?”
I bite my lip, realizing I've said too much. “It was a while ago, before you and I started hanging out again. I was pissed at how you treated me after we fucked the first time and Isla and I were coming up with a list of guys I could be with to get you off my mind. Tessa mentioned that you were off limits because you two were going to get back together.”
Knox shakes his head in disbelief. “Unbelievable. The entire thing. And there’s no way I would have ever seen you with another man, Selene.”
“Excuse me?” I turn to him in surprise.
As I’m trying to process whether I should be angry or not he replies, “Even when I was being an asshole and fucking things up, you were mine. You always were mine.”
I stare at Knox as I try to calm the anger that threatens to be unleashed. “What do you mean, I was always yours?”
Knox's intense gaze holds mine. “Exactly what I said. From the moment we met, I knew there was something different about you, picosita. Something that drew me to you like a magnet. Even when I tried to push you away, I couldn't stay away for long.”
My mind reels, trying to process this…Hell, everything over the last few hours. “But...but you never said anything. You acted like you couldn’t care less about all of this at first.”
He sighs. “I know. And I'm still so sorry for that. The truth is, I was scared. Scared because I could see where this was going. Scared of getting hurt again after what happened with Tessa. So I pushed you away, thinking it would be easier than risking my heart.”
“Are you trying to say?—”
“I love you, Selene. And I will do everything I can to protect you and cherish what we have.”
I swear I stop breathing. “Knox, I...” I start, but the words get stuck in my throat. My mind is racing, not even sure how to respond to his words.
He reaches out and takes my hand, his thumb gently caressing my knuckles. “You don't have to say it back, Selene. I know I've put you through hell with my hot-and-cold bullshit. But I need you to know that my feelings for you are real. I was just too much of a coward to admit it.”
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “I love you too.”
A grin spreads across Knox's face, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He leans in and captures my lips in a kiss that gives me no room to think about anything else.
Including Tessa.