Chapter 5
Marcela
M y feet drag as I head to my last class of the day, a night class I willingly picked to free up my days during the week. That way, I could have more time to work on my book during the day, when my creativity flows best.
I’ve been writing stories anonymously on an online platform for the past few years. It’s been a way for me to practice storytelling and escape the world for a bit. My words give my voice the power it lacks in reality.
Something I wish I had when I faced Ruby today.
My good mood is replaced with anxiety and dread at having to see Hunter around campus.
My fingers wrap around the door handle to the building, when a much larger one wraps around the top half of the handle, pulling it open.
Startled, I remove my hand and turn quickly, finding Theo grinning at me.
“Did you forget we have the same class tonight?” he winks, holding the door open for me to walk through.
“Kind of,” I admit, walking past him.
“You wound me,” he holds his heart as he comes to stand in front of me, making me stop.
I shake my head at him, unable to pretend because of the mood I’m currently in.
“What’s wrong?” Theo asks, switching from playful to concerned in seconds.
I shift from one foot to the other, not wanting to replay this morning to him despite Ruby’s words running rampant in my mind.
“It’s nothing,” I muster a smile, then look away.
“I hate when you do that.”
My eyes snap back to his light blue ones as confusion takes over. “Do what?”
“Act like things don’t matter when they upset you,” he says softly, never raising his voice, even though I can tell he’s irritated. I always do this whenever he asks what’s bothering me. “Anything that takes that beautiful smile off your face is a problem.”
If only he knew how much his composure means to me. When you come from a household where a man’s scream would echo off the walls whenever something displeases him, his calming presence feels like a breath of fresh air.
I inhale a breath while my eyes scan the entryway to make sure no one’s around to hear us.
“I saw Ruby this morning. She’s back at RLU for the year, and she didn’t have the greatest things to say,” I swallow down the emotion clawing at my throat. “It’s thrown me off since. To top it all off, she mentioned something about Hunter also being here, and I don’t know if I can deal with having to see him after… everything that happened.”
Theo’s jaw clamps down, his eyes hardening. “What the hell did she say to you?”
“It’s not worth repeating, and I’d really rather not say.”
He mumbles something under his breath while running a hand through his light brown hair.
“What is it?” I ask him, sensing that he’s stressed about something.
His eyes find mine, and my heart sinks, because I already know what he’s going to say. “Hunter’s at RLU,” he confirms, making my stomach twist.
“H-how?” I murmur.
“I found out this morning that there were rumors of him coming here, but I didn’t want to send you into a panic if they weren’t true. But he was at practice,” he says. He looks apologetic, as if any of this is his fault. “Coach said something about Hunter wanting to become a wide receiver and that position wasn’t available at his school, so he came here. Dale thinks something is up though, so I don’t know what the real reason is.”
My mind whirls at the information, because his friend is right. Something has to be up, because all Hunter ever talked about, since I met him in our freshman year of high school, was being a quarterback. There’s no way he’s throwing that dream away in his last year of college. It makes me wonder what really happened, but before I get lost in the what-ifs, Theo snaps me out of it.
“You okay?”
I look up at him, not sure how to answer his question. “I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “I know I will be. I always am. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared to see him. I haven’t since … since he cheated on me. And seeing him with Ruby…”
“What makes you scared of him?” Theo questions, looking at me with sorrow in his eyes.
“He never hurt me physically, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I confirm. “It’s more so the fear of how I’ll feel. I don’t love him anymore. I’m not sure what we even had was love. All I know is I don’t want to see them gloating around campus, happy and in love when what they did hurt me so badly.”
Theo nods, going quiet for a moment. He clears his throat and says, “If anything ever happens and you’re uncomfortable, call me. Okay?”
I don’t tell him it’s fine. Instead, I surprise myself.
“Okay,” I smile faintly.
“And you’re a badass, you can handle this. Don’t let them think they won, when they lost out on the best person I know.”
I fall silent at that. Whenever he says something that sweet, my instinct is to not believe him. I do my best to ignore it for the sake of our friendship.
I chuckle and shake my head. “Thanks.”
Theo flashes a wide grin, and I know he’s about to try to uplift the mood even more.
“No problem. That’s what friends are for, right?” he winks, ever the charmer. We walk toward our class together, and I slide into my usual spot at the end of the first row. I expect Theo to go to his usual spot in the middle, but he surprises me by dropping down into the seat next to me instead.
“Don’t tell me in the last three years you’ve become an end of the row guy,” I tease, sliding my tote bag onto the floor.
“Nah, just a you kind of guy,” he says casually, as if it’s as simple as saying the sky is blue.
His words are meant to be sweet, but after everything that has happened today, they don’t hold much weight. I brush off his comment, because my brain needs a break—something I plan on giving it later when I curl up in my pajamas with a cup of tea to try to get some writing done. While I usually prefer writing during the day, I need it more than ever tonight.
Professor Grum walks in then, wearing a casual brown loungewear set. I like her already.
“Welcome, beautiful earthlings!” she beams, clapping her hands together to get our attention. She adjusts her large, green-rimmed glasses. “How wonderful is it that we’re all on this planet at this time? That we get to experience the mountains, the trees, the oceans and the stars above?” She gestures wildly with her hands. “If you don’t feel that way, I suggest you find another class, because this semester we are going to love the hell out of this planet and learn just how freaking cool it is.”
Theo chuckles beside me, and I can’t help but do the same. She’s quirky, but keeps it real. My kind of girl.
Professor Grum stops in her tracks, holding a finger up in the air. “And if you don’t like being outside, that’s going to be a problem. We will spend lots of nights staring at the stars during our astronomy section. Fair warning now.”
No one gets up and leaves, maybe out of fear or because they want to stick around. We’ll never know, because even if I wanted to drop the course, you can bet I wouldn’t be walking out right now. I’d do it from the comfort of my bed and laptop at home.
About an hour into our three-hour class, I notice Theo’s neck craning as his jaw dips and his lips part out of the corner of my eye. I know how seriously he takes school to keep his spot on the football team, and I’ve never seen him fall asleep before.
Concerned, I gently nudge his elbow with mine.
His head shoots up instantly, his eyes flying wildly around the room until he realizes where he is. “How long was I out?” His voice is raspy, and I do my best to ignore how good it sounds.
“Not long,” I whisper back. “Long day?”
“Something like that,” he murmurs back, then takes a sip of his drink.
He remains awake for the rest of the class, and it’s ten o’clock by the time we exit the building. Campus is nearly empty at this hour, save for the students leaving our class, giving it a quiet and calm atmosphere that it lacks during the busier days.
I turn to walk home without a word, hoping he’ll be on his way to get a good night’s rest.
“Ah, ah,” Theo tsks, falling into step with me. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home, and so should you. You seem exhausted. Go take care of yourself, please?”
“A gentleman always takes care of the woman first.” He waves me off with a cheeky grin. I ignore his innuendo, because in my experience, that wasn’t the case. Ever.
“I’m serious.” I halt, forcing him to stop and look at me.
When he does, I almost forget what I was about to say. I know we’re friends, but God, why did he have to be so good-looking? From the messy, light-brown hair that makes you want to run your hands through it, to his strong jawline, light blue eyes, and the best smile I’d ever seen.
I shake off the thoughts, focusing on what I meant to say. “Theo, I don’t live far from here. Go home and sleep. You need it. How early do you have to be up tomorrow?”
“Four fucking thirty,” he groans.
“Exactly,” I say, patting him on the shoulder. “Good night. I’ll see you around.” I turn on my heel and continue walking, but of course, Theo falls into step beside me.
“You’re funny, Marcela. Anyone ever tell you that?”
“No, actually. No one’s ever said that.”
“Sounds to me like you’ve never had a good friend, have you?”
I know his question wasn’t meant to hurt, but it does regardless, because it makes me think of Ruby and how I never truly knew her.
Growing up, I thought she was the best friend a girl could ask for. But now, when I look back at our friendship, I recognize how she controlled everything. How she made it all feel like a competition between us. How she made fun of me for my passions.
Maybe she was never the friend I thought she was. Maybe I was so lonely that I clung to the first girl who stuck around, because despite loving being alone, I also craved friendship. I never had that with anyone, and I apparently still don’t.
I don’t realize how long I’ve been lost in thought until Theo brushes his hand gently against mine. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
For the second time tonight, I find myself opening up to him.
“I’m realizing that I’ve never had a genuine friend, you know? Ruby never treated me like one. I was more like someone she could compete with and control, because I didn’t want to lose her. Even when Hunter and I were dating, I didn’t see him as someone I could tell everything to. We didn’t have that kind of relationship,” I explain as we walk, the cool air wrapping around my legs and making me shiver slightly.
Theo’s jacket is wrapped around my shoulders before I can say otherwise. I tug it closer, reveling in the warmth it provides.
“To think anyone has treated you with anything less than the respect and love you deserve makes me want to toss them through a wall.” His voice is laced with anger as his jaw ticks. “And don’t you dare say it’s okay, because it’s not.”
“I know,” I answer quietly.
“And I hope you know you do have friends. Aurora, Jasmine, Camille … me,” he adds in, with a soft smile.
I realize he’s not wrong. Over the last couple of months, I’ve grown closer to the girls. We have a group chat where we talk daily, and have already hung out a couple of times.
And as much as I want to push him away, Theo has wedged his way into my life. So much that I think I’d miss his antics if he didn’t want to be in it anymore. He’s always had my back, cared for me, and wants the best for me.
That’s what a friend is, right?
“You’re right. I do have some pretty great friends now,” I smile at him, letting him know he’s included in that statement.
Theo pounds a fist over his chest. “I’ve never been more honored to be anyone’s friend.”
“Stop it,” I shake my head, doing my best to stifle a giggle.
“So tell me, did the human hook up with the vampire yet?” he asks, referring to the book series I’m currently reading.
The entire walk back to my apartment I fill him in on what he’s missed since the last time we talked about it. He listens attentively, asking questions every now and then and reacting in ways that make me laugh.
When we make it to my building, I turn to face him, feeling better than I have all day.
“Thank you.”
“You never have to thank me for making sure you get home safely.”
“Yeah, that, but also for making me feel better about everything. It’s nice knowing I’m not alone in dealing with this,” I admit while taking his jacket off.
“Keep it.” His hands rest on top of mine, stopping me. “And you’re never alone, we’ve got you. Once you’re a part of the squad, there’s no going back.”
“The squad?” I arch an eyebrow.
“It’s what I call our friend group. Nice and simple. Even though Ryker still likes to say he’s not a part of it, that asshole is so in.”
I laugh at that, because that is something the grumpy Ryker would do.
“Good night and get home safe. Text me when you do.” I go to turn away when Theo grabs onto my hand, spinning me into him.
“Being my friend means you don’t get to leave without a Theo-style hug.” He smirks, and before I can ask what that means, he wraps his arms around my back and lifts me in the air, spinning me around.
I clutch onto him, a wide smile breaking across my face. My body feels more protected than it ever has before. Wrapped in his arms, it feels like nothing could ever hurt me. The feeling is so odd, it makes me question what in the world I was doing with Hunter if I’ve never felt that until now.
Once he sets me down and I catch my breath, I say, “That’s some hug.”
“Best one you’ve ever had, I know. It’s going to be hard to ever top.” He smiles, his lone dimple appearing.
“Bye.” I chuckle, heading into my apartment complex.
“Bye, Marcela!” he shouts back. Without looking, I know he keeps his eyes on me until I round the corner and am out of sight.
Once inside of my apartment, I decide to text him to keep him company on his walk, because that’s what a good friend would do.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
Me
You should carry pepper spray on you on Tuesdays when we have our night class.
Theo
You worried about me or something?
Me
Maybe. But that’s what friends do though, don’t they?
Theo
They do.
I like that you care, but I don’t need pepper spray. Our campus is relatively safe and my place is only five minutes away.
Me
Okay good.
Theo
I’m walking through the door now, get some sleep.
Me
You too, night.
I planned on writing tonight, but since Theo made me feel better and allowed my mind to clear a bit, a wave of tiredness has settled over me. As I attempt to fall asleep once my nighttime routine is done, the only thing that keeps playing in my mind is the haunted look on Theo’s face at the idea of waking up so early to train for a sport he hates.
It makes me sad that he’s doing it anyway, despite how unhappy it makes him. But if there’s one thing we have in common, it’s that we know how to fake it for the people we love.