Chapter 17
Marcela
“
S he shouldn’t be here,” I mutter to myself, watching the purple-and-blue scales of her tail sparkle as she swims by.
I hear the door to my secret cove open and close, not turning around to give her the privacy needed so she can do the spell to dress herself.
“Dom,” she croaks, and the need in her voice has me turning to face her.
I open my mouth to say something, but her long black hair sways and I realize that she’s naked.
I quickly look away. “Mari, you didn’t cover up.” I’m about to cast the spell myself when she cuts me off.
She closes the distance between us. “Dom, I need you to do something for me.” Her voice is pleading, her dark-purple eyes widening as she peers up at me.
“Anything,” I tell her, because it’s true. She might be the daughter of my family’s enemy, and set to be married in ten days, but I’d do anything for her. They say hate is close to love, and I’m beginning to realize my enemy might very well be the love of my life.
“I want you to be my first everything. I know we’ve hated each other for years, but since the day you saved me from the attack, I’ve never felt safer with anyone as I have with you,” she says softly as her hand reaches to grab mine.
My mind goes back to that moment when I was swimming by the outskirts of my family’s palace and I saw her being chased by our guards.
I should’ve turned away. It wasn’t my business, and she shouldn’t have been so close to our kingdom. But I went anyway.
I took out three of my own people just to save her, because the second I saw them pull a knife on her, I realized how much I didn’t want anything to happen to her.
My free hand lifts, gently caressing her cheek. “Is this really what you want? Because once I take what’s mine, there’s no going back.”
She nods fervently. “Please.”
With her confirmation, I crash my lips against hers. Her lips are soft and fucking perfect for mine.
I stare at my last paragraph on the screen, reading it over again as I try to continue the scene with Marissa’s and Dom’s first time. I only got this far the night I kissed Theo. My brain was running a mile a minute with ideas when I came home, and the need to write had never been stronger.
It was as if kissing Theo removed the mental block in my mind, allowing me to finally get to this scene. But now that my characters are ready to progress to the next step intimately, I find myself unable to do it.
Maybe it’s because my sexual experience wasn’t all that great, and I don’t authentically know how to write a scene like that. I reread the scene again while the image of kissing Theo replays in my head.
I still can’t believe I did that.
In the heat of the moment—wanting to prove to Hunter and Ruby how happy I am without them in my life, and with Theo’s lips pressing against the soft spot on my neck—I lost control.
And the kiss was … unlike any I’ve ever experienced before. I thought getting chills and feeling it down to your toes from a simple kiss could only be experienced in books.
Until I kissed Theo.
That notion terrified me, which is why I pulled away and told him it was a mistake. And it was, because if our kisses feel like that, we definitely shouldn’t kiss again—we’re just friends. That’s it.
Theo has given me the space I need, but we have class together tonight.
Which means I’ll have to face him for the first time since Saturday night.
I expect nerves to flare in my stomach, but they never come. Probably because Theo is the kindest person I’ve met. He’s not going to bring it up or act differently. He’s just going to be Theo.
To avoid thinking about it further, I set my laptop on my bed and walk to my small kitchen, placing the kettle on the burner. Tea always makes me feel better, and with the stress of over this next chapter up and posted, I need it now more than ever.
I’ve been publishing a chapter at a time of my romantic fantasy, Under Water , once every two weeks to keep up with the demands of my readers. I’m already twenty chapters in, and with every new chapter posted, the story seems to gain more and more momentum.
It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once, but with the amount of love I’m receiving from readers, it makes it all worth the feelings that come with putting your words out there for everyone to see.
Writing is what drives me forward, a way out from my stepdad’s control. It’s the one thing he doesn’t know about, the one thing his hateful words can’t tarnish.
It’s the future I dare to dream of, where I can say and do what I want.
The kettle whistles, pulling me back to the present. I turn the burner off and pour the hot water into my pink mug. I place a chamomile bag in the mug, grab a banana, and head back to my bed to settle in.
I scroll through the romance section on Netflix, feeling the need to be inspired to finish writing this scene. Fifty Shades of Grey catches my eye, and I decide a rewatch won’t hurt until I need to get ready for class.
As I watch, it dawns on me that these actors are doing just that—acting. I bite my lip as an idea begins to form.
Despite being scared of how the kiss with Theo made me feel, I can understand the purpose it served. Even though it was a toe-curling kind of kiss, it can’t ever mean anything.
And maybe—just maybe—if I can do that, we can do … more .
We can be like actors. I know they don’t actually hook up, and it’s choreographed … but the idea is the same, right? He can teach me some things, then we stop the lessons. One friend helping another friend out.
I’m more comfortable with Theo than anyone else in my life, and if he can help me get through this writing block, then I want to give it a shot.
I want to feel confident with sex before I meet the one , and confident enough to write about it. That’s if Theo will agree to it.
Unfortunately, the only way for me to find out is to ask.
Here goes nothing.