Catching Pretty (Lovely Broken Doll #2)

44. The Shadow

“ I can’t… I can’t find her.” My voice wavered, then broke. “Ava… she’s just gone .”

My hands clawed at the ground, nails scratching into the dirt, every word scraped out of my raw throat, as I barely held it together. “Every lead, every damn lead, dead . Cold.”

I had nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing .

Ava was out there somewhere, I knew it, I could feel it, but every step was wrong, every door slammed shut, and the walls—they were closing, closing, CLOSING in, tighter and tighter.

“Tell me what to do,” I whispered, my voice a thin, desperate thread. “Tell me. You… you always knew, didn’t you? Always knew the answer, had the plan.”

I stared at the grave marker, cold and unmoving, the stone angel above it frozen mid-sorrow, her face twisted in eternal grief, eyes hollow and unseeing.

Tynan Roderick Donahue.

The name looked strange carved in stone, formal and stiff, like a stranger’s. Nobody ever called him Tynan—except our father.

He was Ty.

Ty, the kind brother whom everyone liked.

Ty, the smart, dedicated brother who would go places, be someone, do something great with his life.

Ty, the favorite brother.

A hollow laugh tore out of me, sharp and splintered.

And now Ty, the perfect brother, was taunting me from beyond the grave. Keeping his secrets to himself.

Was Ava there with him in the afterlife? Had she found her way back to him after all? Had she left this earth?

Left me ?

Had Ty won after all?

I could almost hear him mocking me. “Serve you right for losing Ava. She never belonged to you in the first fucking place, did she?”

“Shut up, you bastard ,” I screamed, my voice echoing through the old cemetery.

My fist hit the marker, pain flaring in my knuckles, grounding me for a heartbeat. One heartbeat before it all fell apart again.

“I’m sorry.” I brushed the gravestone, smearing the blood I’d left from my knuckles like I was wiping away his tears. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

I could feel the panic clawing up, scraping at the edges of my sanity, curling around my throat like hands squeezing, choking. The sky spun, or maybe it was just me, dizzy, unsteady, grasping at air, at nothing.

“You have to tell me, Ty.” I grasped the sides of the stone as if I were shaking Ty’s shoulders. “Tell me where she is. Just… one sign. Give me something, give me anything .”

“P-please… let me go.” The voice trembled, weak, barely a whisper above the ghostly wind.

I snapped my gaze toward Dr. Edward Hickey—the father of one of the other missing girls.

He was sprawled across the neighboring grave, bound and helpless, his head awkwardly propped against a bouquet of dried roses someone had left behind.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt?” I snapped, glaring down at him. “I was having a conversation here.”

His eyes widened, a glint of something bordering on disbelief flickering across his face as he stared between me and Ty’s gravestone.

He should’ve been trembling. Should’ve been pleading.

Instead, he looked at me like I was insane , which was ballsy, considering his position.

Hmm. Maybe I was.

“You have a brother, right?” I asked as I crouched down in front of him, close enough to see the confusion swirling in his gaze. “Ever fall for the same girl?”

“What?” he managed, his voice barely a squeak.

“Say there was someone you both wanted,” I continued, undeterred by his blank stare. “Someone you both… loved. And let’s say… let’s say, in a moment of guilt, you promised your brother that he could have her but… say he just fucking up and died, the bastard.”

My fingers tapped against the headstone beside Dr. Hickey, a rhythm that echoed the beat of my heart, too loud in the quiet of Glasnevin Cemetery.

Celtic crosses and elaborate Victorian headstones rose from the earth, each one worn and weathered, its inscriptions softened by time, some markers tilted slightly, leaning under the weight of decades.

Towering yew and cypress trees lined the winding gravel paths, their branches twisting overhead to form dark, natural arches that cast shadows even on the brightest days.

It was a perfect place for my lost twin to haunt for all eternity.

“So?” I asked Dr. Hickey, my voice betraying my impatience. “What would you do?”

Dr. Hickey’s eyes flickered, and I could almost hear his thoughts racing, trying to piece together whatever fractured logic I was laying out for him.

But I was already leaning closer, a conspiratorial smile tugging at my lips.

“I mean, do those kinds of promises extend to death?” I asked, my voice a thread of something dark and bitter. “Am I really betraying him if… if he’s gone? No, right? So why, Doctor, do I feel so fucking guilty ?”

I watched him, waiting, as if he actually had an answer.

He blinked, mouth opening and closing, a look of utter bewilderment spreading across his face.

“I… I don’t understand,” he stammered, his voice thick with confusion, panic edging in as he glanced between me and the headstone.

“Seeing as you’re so full of great advice,” I said, my gaze narrowing on Dr. Hickey’s face, watching the flicker of fear in his eyes as he realized he wasn’t done here, “if you were me, how would you take the Sochai down?”

He swallowed hard, his gaze darting around like a trapped animal. “I-I’m not part of the Society. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I shook my head, a mocking smile tugging at my lips. “Liar.”

I leaned closer, my voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “I know all about how the Society works. How they take adopted girls, place them with members, drug them… abuse them. Thought you’d keep that hidden, did you?”

He tried to protest, but I cut him off, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a drug vial along with a needle.

“Look what I found in your safe,” I said, my tone casual, like we were discussing the weather.

His eyes widened as I held them up, a silent threat hanging in the air between us.

“T-that’s…”

“Yes, from your personal stash of vile paralytics. I know what you did to Sarah, you sick bastard.”

I twisted the cap off the vial, drawing the clear liquid into the syringe, moving slowly, deliberately, letting each second stretch out until I could practically hear his heartbeat.

His face paled.

I moved closer, pressing the needle against the side of his neck, just enough for him to feel the prick of metal on his skin. “You’re going to tell me everything, or you’ll get a taste of your own medicine.”

“Okay, okay!” His voice wobbled, thick with fear as he struggled uselessly. “Please, don’t… don’t hurt me. ”

“Start talking,” I murmured, my voice cold and calm, “or I plunge.”

“Okay, yes—you’re right,” Hickey stammered, his eyes darting away from mine. “The Society uses girls. It rewards its members with… daughters .”

The word twisted in my mind, sharp and sickening.

I felt bile rising, disgust seeping into every corner of my thoughts.

Daughters.

They were giving away girls, handing them over like prizes to monsters.

My throat tightened as the realization hit, cold and brutal.

Ava had been a daughter .

“We’re given… drugs. Safeguards. The… the rules are… don’t ever let them remember.” Hickey’s voice shook, his eyes pleading, but I wasn’t feeling merciful.

“Then why make them disappear?” I demanded, my tone harder, angrier. “Why pretend they’re runaways?”

He swallowed, his face paling. “I don’t know. I swear. But… the order came down. One by one, we were told to get rid of our daughters . Make it seem like they ran away. So no one would bother investigating.”

The rage simmered in my blood, nearly blinding me.

“Ava too,” I ground out.

“N-no,” he stammered, shaking his head as much as he could without moving away from the needle. “Specifically not Ava. At least not at first.”

My brow furrowed, the tension pulling tight across my shoulders.

“Why not Ava?” The question burned on my tongue .

“I don’t know,” he whispered, almost to himself. “The High Lord gave specific orders that she wasn’t to be touched. It caused… discontent. Dissension among the members.”

My grip on the syringe tightened. “This High Lord. Who is he?”

“I don’t know. No one does. He’s too careful… hides his identity from everyone.” Hickey’s gaze darted around, desperation flickering in his eyes, his voice dropping to a fearful whisper. “But he’s always watching.”

I felt my pulse pound, the fury rising again, but I forced myself to keep focused and calm.

“But then Ava started investigating,” Hickey said, his voice barely a whisper. “Uncovering too much. Remembering too much. She was getting too close. It became too dangerous to leave her alive.”

I felt a chill crawl down my spine. “So the Society did take her.”

He didn’t answer, his silence hanging thick in the air, the confirmation I didn’t want to hear.

My voice dropped, dangerous and low. “What would they do with her?”

Hickey swallowed, his face ashen.

“If she’s… lucky,” he murmured, his voice barely audible, “they’d kill her. Quickly.”

Red bled into my vision. No, Ava could not be dead.

Suddenly the needle had been tossed aside and my hands were wrapped around Hickey’s throat.

I watched myself, as if I were a floating above my body, choke the life out of him. I saw the life draining from his eyes but there was nothing I could do about it .

I only slammed back into my body the moment that his life snuffed out and he became a wraith.

Horror flooded through me as I stumbled back, my hands trembling. Dr. Hickey lay motionless, his glassy eyes staring blankly up at the sky, mouth frozen in a final, silent scream.

I’d killed him.

I hadn’t meant to, hadn’t planned for it to end this way. But the anger, the desperation—it took over. I’d lost control. Again.

A cold emptiness spread in my chest as I stared down at him, his lifeless form a brutal reminder of my failure.

He was my last lead.

The only thread I had left to finding Ava… and now he was gone, just like that.

I scrambled back to Ty’s gravestone, my knees hitting the ground hard as I kneeled before it, my heart pounding against my ribs.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I whispered as I clutched the cold stone, my voice breaking. “I watched over her all those years, just like I promised you I would. But I didn’t mean to betray you.”

Ty remained silent and I felt the hollowness yawning beneath me, swallowing my words.

“I had always wanted her,” I confessed. “You know I did. But watching her all those years, I saw in her what you had always seen.”

The memories flooded in, each one sharper than the last, her laughter, her fire, the way she moved through the world like she didn’t realize how special she was.

“I fell in love with her, too. ”

My voice dropped to a whisper, rough with desperation. “If you could come back—if you’d just bring her back with you—then I swear, I’d let her go. She’d be yours, like she was always meant to be. I’d step aside, watch you both live the life you deserved. I’d disappear. I’d do whatever it took… just to have her alive. Both of you. Alive.”

A cold wind blew and the cemetery seemed to shiver around me.

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard, trying to steady myself as memories and regrets surged up like a flood I couldn’t contain.

“Do you know that in Japan, they have a way to… to regain honor? Even after one has done something… unforgiveable.”

Like I had.

I had stolen my brother’s girl.

Then I’d let her die.

I sank back to the heels of my feet and wiped my face with my hands, my voice growing softer, almost reverent.

“It’s about taking responsibility for failure, showing that… that you meant something, that there was honor in what you tried to do, even if you lost everything along the way.”

My hand slipped to my pocket, pulling out the knife, its handle cold and steady in my grip.

“Seppuku,” I explained to Ty’s grave. “Ritual suicide.”

I pressed the tip of the blade against my stomach, the weight of it grounding me in a way that nothing else had in months.

This knife, I’d named Ty .

It was fitting that my brother would end up killing me .

“Forgive me, Ty,” I whispered to him one last time, the blade trembling in my hand. “If she’s gone, then… I don’t want to live.”