Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
The next night, they had another wagon ride.
And he was planning exactly how he was going to get her alone again.
Because he fully intended to make the most of this.
For however long… For however long. Eliana was a revelation.
She was everything he had ever wanted and more.
Everything he had never allowed himself to dream about.
Because… Well, like he’d said to her. He couldn’t see a future.
Not like the one his parents had had. Or maybe it was just that he was unwilling to explore that future.
Maybe it was fear. Maybe. But it had served to protect him for a long time.
And he didn’t want to think ahead, not right now. He just wanted to think about her.
“Whew, if we had a whiteboard, we could take that month and erase it, and put that it’s been zero days since she last used your–”
“Thank you, Hank,” Cooper said, coming out of the stall that he was mucking.
“I’m right, though, aren’t I?”
“Why do you care? Go get laid. Stay out of my sex life.”
“Oh. Did you… finally? With Eliana?”
“Hank,” he said. “You’re going to get me killed if you go saying it that loud. I’m going to end up cursed by one of the Sandersons.”
“Why? Was it bad?”
“It was amazing.” And too late, he realized that he had gone and admitted it.
Hank laughed. “I knew it. I knew you were completely obsessed with her.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why not? Why be so committed to your own misery?”
“It’s not my misery. It’s the whole family’s misery. All the misery we’ve ever been in all these years. I just don’t… I don’t want more. I don’t want to… You know how it is.”
“I fear I don’t. Because I’ve never had such strong feelings for somebody. If I did, I’d like to think I wouldn’t be such an idiot.”
“I’m going to remember that. I’m going to make a note of it. Jackass.”
He just laughed. “Okay.”
“I’m bringing her back here tonight. So… I’d appreciate it if you did some sleight-of-hand so that nobody else realizes that.”
“Wow. You know what, I will. Only because I really hope you get your shit together. Because I love you, Cooper, and I think you could be happy. If you let yourself be.”
Cooper didn’t know what to say to that, but he was appreciative of his brother for just being… Well, for just being. At least he was helping him.
He basically wished the hours away until it was time to go to town and see Eliana.
When he rolled in at about five, she was just coming out of her store dressed in her little witch outfit.
It was hot. He wanted to take the witch outfit off of her tonight.
God, this was weird. He’d been obsessed with her for a long time, but he had never given himself permission to be this obsessed.
She turned around, and her cheeks lit up like a beacon. “Cooper!”
“Hi,” he said. He shoved his hands in his pockets so he didn’t reach out and grab her.
“I just want you to know, I’m keeping my distance so that we don’t get a fine for public indecency on the street.
” He kept his voice casual, kept his expression open and friendly so that nobody who might be looking at them right now would have any idea what they were talking about.
She lifted an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“I want you so badly.”
“Oh,” she said, her tone changing, her smile broadening.
“You might be the death of me.” He realized after he’d said that that it wasn’t the smartest thing to say, considering she was actually worried about it. She looked away. “I did not mean that literally.”
“Well, I really hope not.”
“Come on,” he said. “You don’t need to worry about that.”
She nodded. But he could tell she was a little bit worried.
The whole evening was great. She told stories in an animated fashion in the back of the wagon, and he listened like he was listening to his favorite song.
Then when they were finished, they strolled down the street, and looked at the petting zoo, the drink stations, everyone who was out in costume.
There was such a merry, community atmosphere, and not even he could be curmudgeonly about it.
Especially not when Noah, a known curmudgeon, complimented his beer at one of the stations. It actually felt like things might be falling into place, and if he felt a little bit of creeping dread because of that… Well. What could you do?
“Come back to the ranch with me,” he said.
She nodded. “I was really hoping you would ask. I was going to take you to the attic if I had to.”
“Right past your mom and your grandma?”
She shrugged. “They already know.”
“Yeah. Hank knows.”
“Hank?”
“He’s really not scary. He’s a good dude. He’s going to cover for me and make sure Mom and Lindsay don’t notice I’m bringing you back.”
“Well, I thank him in this instance.”
“Why don’t you drop your car back off at your place. I’ll pick you up in your driveway.”
Which is exactly what he did. And it did feel a little bit like high school. Like the thing she never had. And really, not like anything he’d ever had.
He had physical relationships, but there wasn’t this intimacy to it.
He knew her. He knew Eliana, and that made it different.
He said as much when they got inside his house.
“You’re special, you know that, right?” He didn’t know what was straying too far into admitting feelings. He didn’t think he was allowed to.
She nodded, though, didn’t scold him, didn’t say he couldn’t say it. “You too.”
He had never brought a woman back to his house before.
He didn’t tell her that. He didn’t tell her that, as he kissed her and walked her back to his bedroom, it felt like something singular.
As he stripped her clothes away, kissed his way down her body, lingering over that tattoo, he didn’t tell her that she was something fierce and wild that he wanted to grab onto, because it was nothing like what he had inside of him.
Dependable.
That’s what he was.
And she was this wild creature, who gave him tarot readings and had a secret tattoo.
Who believed in magic. Curses and benevolent spells in equal measure.
Who was so bright and sunny, and frankly weird.
With her enormous fake spider and her proclamations of loving all creatures. She was just every inch herself.
She was herself, and he wanted that spark.
That beauty that seemed to come from deep inside of her.
That magic. He wanted crystals in his pockets, and all these things that he said were dumb, that now felt like they were missing from him.
And only she had it. But he didn’t say that.
He kissed her. And kissed her. Laid her down on the bed, tasted the sweetness of her skin.
Made her cry out as he ate at the honey between her thighs.
And then took them both to heaven over and over again.
She cupped his face, looked right into his eyes as he entered her in one smooth thrust. It had never been like this before for him, because it had never been Eliana.
He remembered what she’d said to him last night.
It had never worked before because it wasn’t him.
And he might’ve had sex before, but it wasn’t the same.
There was some piece of himself that had always been held back, because it wasn’t her.
She was everything. And she had returned the fundamental piece to him that he hadn’t known was missing. Hope. Magic.
She cried out his name, arching against him, and he let himself go over the edge. He came with her name on his lips. And then he held her close.
“I should probably go,” she said sleepily.
“Why?”
“Well, I’m sure Hank can keep them from noticing for a while, but eventually…”
“I drove you over here, remember? You’re my hostage.”
Her eyes went round. “Oh.”
“You’re going to stay the night with me, silly girl. I’m not letting you go that easily.”
She relaxed against him, settled against his chest. “Well, if you insist.”
“I absolutely do.”
“You’re so bossy,” she said on a yawn as she curled up against him, drifting off to sleep.
Practical. Dependable. Bossy. And facing desires he never wanted to have before. But he held on tightly to her and tried to comfort himself with the fact that this wasn’t anything he was going to have to figure out.
Because as long as Eliana believed that she was cursed, she wouldn’t ask him for more.
So he would never have to be braver than his fear allowed him to be.