Chapter 34
I JUST SAID the most important words of my goddamn life. I love her so fucking much and telling her was like shouting my greatest truth into the universe. I didn’t tell her so she would say it back. I said it so she would know what she means to me.
I wanted her to know that I’d stand by her side through anything. My arms are wide open waiting to welcome the parts of her that she doesn’t share with anyone else. They could keep the ones I have company.
Every piece that she considered damaged was mine to mend. I wanted every shard and shred. She was mine to take care of and to help heal.
Telling her I loved her was me vowing to slay every goddamn dragon and demon for her. It was also a promise to unalive whoever the fuck made her think any perfect part of her was broken. The devil and angel on my shoulder were already suiting up for a fucking war.
Separating from her before afternoon skate was fucking painful. No matter how hard I tried to give her one last kiss, they never ended up being quick. I would linger, pull her back into me when she tried to step away, and start all over again. I was having a really hard time letting her go now that I had her. I wanted to live and breathe every fucking minute with the woman I loved.
I watched her walk away and hated that I couldn’t see through the walls of the building she went into. She promised me she was coming to the game later and I set a countdown timer on my phone. I needed to know exactly how many minutes I’d have to fucking endure until I’d see her again. I’ve never had cravings for a person like I do for my girl.
I wanted to be with her more than anything in the goddamn world. My heart was with hers but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed her in the arena, wearing our hoodie with my name on her back so everyone knew she was mine.
My timer ran out and I threw my phone in my cubby. I bulldozed over Monroe and took his spot to stand right behind our Cap and Jake while everyone lined up to take the ice. I needed to get out there first, I wanted every goddamn second that I could have to look at her being here.
I fly on the fresh ice and skate to where her seat is. My lungs burn and I’m not sure if it”s from my sudden burst of speed to get to her or from it being hours of not being able to breathe her in. Either way, my chest is fucking aching for her. I’m used to getting hurt out here, but this current pain makes every past collision, check into the boards, high stick, or cross-check feel like they were goddamn tickles.
Since November, I’ve been struggling with where the ice and I are. I’ve lost my way out here and have felt unworthy as a player more times than not over the past few months. But right now, it’s like I’ve been reborn and I know it’s because of her.
All I want to do is set the ice on fire with an award winning show. Seeing her sitting in the stands with my name and number on her back does things to me. It makes me want to break my PR for goal scored in a single game and fold her five paper cranes afterwards.
I feel fucking delirious watching her and chew on my mouthguard like a goddamn dog. She looks hot as fuck sitting there in our hoodie with a smile on her face. I wave at her and she waves back, that grin grows and so does my dick when I think about those cum painted lips and what we did earlier. I’m as hard as the goddamn crossbar and my cock is thumping against my cup. Fuck, I need another hit of her.
I want to scale the fucking boards and glass to kiss her. I hate this damn physical barrier that’s dividing us. I could kick my own ass for purposely putting so much space between us for so long. I’ll never forgive myself for it.
She’s got a beautiful smile on her face while talking to my sister and looks like she’s right where she belongs sitting with the other girlfriends. Except she’s the only one not wearing her man’s jersey. Not for fucking long.
A wild urge to claim her in front of this whole fucking arena takes hold of me and won’t let go. It’s got me under a spell and has me hypnotized.
She got up on that stage and sang her heart out to me in front of a packed house. Well, the ice is my goddamn stage, and I plan on letting every single person here know that the goals they’re about to see me score, are all for Sloane Higgins.
I don’t take my eyes off of her when I drop my stick to the ice. She’s got a curious look on her face and her eyebrows arch up when I throw my gloves down and rip off my helmet.
“What are you doing?” She shouts with her hands cupped over her mouth and I answer her by reaching behind my head and pulling my jersey right off. I’mshowing the whole fucking world that you’re mine, gorgeous girl.
The crowd is starting to catch on and is shouting, “Wilton” throughout the arena. I’m smiling at her like a goddamn fool; I can’t help it, my girlfriend is here and I’m so fucking happy it’s making me do crazy ass things.
I ball up my jersey and toss it over the glass right into her outstretched hands. She holds it to her chest and I send her a wink when she slips it on over her head. You’d think we just won the fucking Frozen Four with how loud the crowd is cheering.
A ref is blowing his whistle in my face and yelling about misconduct. I could give two shits. Not when my living breathing pin up girl is wearing my jersey. I can’t stop staring at her. Goddamn.
B doesn’t hesitate to help her adjust the sweatshirt hood from the jersey collar and I see the moment unfold when my sister realizes she’s not only sitting in the stands with her best friend, but with her future sister-in-law. Because I’m gonna fucking marry this girl.
“You’re outta here, get off my ice number five!” This fucking ref is screaming his head off and is red as a tomato. You’d think I had my dick out with how he’s acting about me stripping my jersey off.
Coach is fucking shouting and demanding I get my ass into the locker room but I’m in no hurry. Not when my girl blows me a kiss with unshed tears in her eyes. Yeaaahhh there’s no way I’m turning away from that beautiful face.
“You fucking crazy bastard, let’s go,” my brother says when him and Max come up to me just as I catch her kiss and place my hand over my heart.
The last fucking thing I want is to be pulled away from her but I’ve got no other choice. They each hook their elbows with mine and skate me back toward the bench. I don’t care how mad Coach is right now, the look on her face when I gave her my jersey was worth it.
“I love you!” I roar across the ice and make heart hands while they skate me away.
“I love you, too!” she shouts back while throwing up her own finger heart. She loves me. She fucking loves me. That makes me the goddamn luckiest sonofabitch on the planet.
“You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that?” My brother says with a dumb smile on his face and shakes his head. She loves me.
“About fucking time, man,” Max adds as they lead me off the ice.
“What the fuck, Wilton! You’ve been ejected for stripping out on the ice!” Coach screams and spit dribbles out of his mouth.
“My girl needed my jersey, Coach,” I tell him the truth and shrug my shoulders. I don’t regret what I just did. Not one part of me is sorry. I love my team and the game, but I love her more. And now everyone knows it.
“If you cost us a win, so help me God, Chase.” There’s no way we”re losing this game. We’re playing the last seated team in our division. Coach was planning on playing third and fourth lines for most of the game anyway. Plus, I don’t need to play tonight to win, I’ve already won. Goddamn, she loves me.
“We got it, Coach,” Jake says and lifts his helmeted head toward me. “Be good to my friend, man,” he says and outstretches his fist for me to bump. “Happy for you both.” He gives me a smile and I know he’ll take care of things out on the ice tonight.
“I don’t want to see your goddamn face until Monday morning at 6AM do you understand me?” Coach yells out. “Double shifts this week in the gym and for volunteering, you got that?”
“Yes, sir,” I say firmly right before he turns his back to the boys who are huddled around the bench.
Never in my damn life have I been so fucking happy to be in trouble. I run in my skates down the rubber mats all the way to the locker room.
I start shedding the rest of my gear and grab my phone. I need her and I need her fucking now. I need to kiss a thousand I love yous into her lips.
My hands are fucking shaking when I call. Texting is gonna take too long and I need to touch her to make sure she’s real, because I swear I’m dreaming. And if I am, keep me comatose forever because I don’t ever want to wake up in a world where my pretty songbird doesn’t love me back.
“Hello?” she answers on the first ring like the good girl she is. I put my phone on speaker and wish I could cut myself out of this goddamn uniform. I hear the crowd all around her and I fucking hate that all those other people are near her while I’m in here struggling with my skates.
“Let’s get out of here, Birdie,” I grit out and breathe around the deep burn in my chest. The withdrawal claws at my lungs and my craving for her is so intense I don’t think I’ll be able to fucking breathe again until I’m with her.
“Tell me where to meet you,” she says immediately. She sounds so fucking beautiful giving me her trust like that. Like she’s already reaching for my outstretched hand regardless of where we go next. It makes me feel so goddamn protective over her that I’m already thinking about how to get her home so we can shut out the world.
“Top of your section stairs,” I tell her and grab Jake’s keys in his cubby. I reach for his game sheet, flip it over, and scribble out a note with a sharpie. He can call me after the game and I’ll come back to pick them all up. But now, I need to borrow his goddamn car.
“Five minutes?” She sounds distressed that it’ll take that long and every cell in my body agrees. I hear her start to move and tell B that she’s leaving with me and then excuse herself down the rest of the row.
I throw my hat on my head stuff my own gamesheet into my hoodie pocket when the angel on my shoulder breaks her silence by backing up a mixer truck to my feet and pouring concrete into the holes of my fucked up sneakers, but here we are. She brings up a solid point and it has me stuck where I stand. Damn.
My perfect girl is gonna be smack dab in the middle of my shit. She’s not going to be able to turn without knocking into the different piles of crap that are all over the place. As much as my sister and Max cleaned up my room, the emotional mountains of my guilt, shame, depression, and anxiety are still standing tall.
They come with an avalanche warning and I rather bury myself alive than have my demons scare her away from me. I couldn’t fucking bear it. I’ll go to every single therapy appointment if I have to. I’ll try like hell to be better for her.
“I’m gonna run all the way there,” I tell her and push through the locker room doors and think about the quickest way to her.
“I’m already at the top of the stairs. Where should I head to, next?” She sounds just as eager for me as I am for her.
I take off down the hallway towards the player entrance and give her directions down to the elevator with my pin. The phone cuts out while she rides down into the underside of the arena and I step as close to the elevator doors as possible.
When they pull apart my chest cracks wide open. I love her so fucking much it feels like my hearts too big for my body.
I extend my hand and she takes it while stepping into me. The second our lips glide across one another, I’m fucking done for. I kiss I love yous into her smile and inhale the oxygen from her mouth into my deflated lungs.
Every touch sends jolts of energy through me that tingles my balls and turns my cock into a lightning rod. It also sets my original plan to get her home and into my bed up in smoke. I need her right now, I can’t fucking wait any longer.
I’m even more determined than I was this morning to get her alone. I pull her down the corridor, and feel desperate for a fucking unlocked door.
“Hurry up, ya rascal,” she says with a sweet little noise right when I successfully turn the doorknob of a storage closet that I threw cones and soccer balls into a few practices ago. It unlocks and I flip the light on.
“Rascal, huh?” I say with a smirk while she walks into the tiny room. I flip the lock, wrap my arms around her waist from behind, and turn her into me. I kiss down her cheek to her jaw and tease her lips.
“Oh you absolutely are! You’ve got me out here thinking about all sorts of things,” she says, with a load of sass that turns my dick to stone. “And in a public building no less.”
“What kind of things?” I kiss down her neck and she tilts her face while I suck on her warm skin. She sounds so fucking sweet and tastes like the love of my fucking life.
“Naughty things,” she says with another mouthful of sex and twang. My fingers trail up and down her spine underneath the two layers of clothing that openly claim her as mine. But now I need her in the most intimate way possible.
My hands travel down to her peachy ass and I squeeze each cheek over her pants. These are gonna have to fucking go.
“Wanna be bad with me?” I trace a heart into her flesh with the tip of my tongue into her throat. Mine.
“I’ll break all the rules for you, rascal.” I can’t fucking help myself and gently bite into her neck when she calls me that. I fucking love it.
“Fuck, I love you,” I say before kissing the mark I put on her skin.
“I love you, too.” Her breathy words make me fucking feral. All I wanna do is hear her say them again and again while I’m inside her.
“And now I’m gonna show you, Birdie.” And I do.