Chapter 43
AFTER A CAUTIOUS AND uneventful walk across campus with Davis, I settled into my seat in the HH conference room. I offered quick hellos and kept things light. The gossip mill had moved on from me and was now focusing on the upcoming Havenwood Handsome Devils Dinner and Date Night Charity Auction which was set to take place at the end of April right before finals.
We had to cover the event on all platforms and I was in charge of making sure everything was edited and scheduled to launch on the app. I was trying to pay attention and focus on putting together a preliminary to-do list, but it was damn hard with my brother texting me every two seconds about his belly.
DAVIS:
How much longer? I’m hungrier than a tick on a bear
ME:
Have a snack
DAVIS:
I had a banana and those protein bites you made
Try to leave early so we can eat
ME:
We’re almost done
DAVIS:
I need supper, Sloaney, these snacks you packed aren’t cutting it
Feed me!!!
ME:
You”re a pain
Gimme five min and I’ll be out
I hurry outta the HH office door expecting to see my brother wasting away from having to wait to eat, when I see him leaning against the wall while entertaining a pretty blonde.
She’s got Delta letters embroidered in bubblegum pink on her trendy oversized acid wash denim jacket. Her glossy, curled waves are set perfectly along her back and her makeup’s flawless. She’s every bit his type and every bit the kinda girl I was expected to be. And I’m so glad I’m not.
“This is Ashley, one of the TA’s from my psychology class. Ashley, this is my twin sister, Sloane,” he drawls out and she smiles like a cat who caught the canary when he says her name.
She doesn’t waste any time praising him over a paper he wrote, and he thanks her with a wink and a smile. That Davis Higgins combo has left a string of broken hearts across several states and it looks like blondie is next in line.
I don’t hide my eye roll when they strike up a conversation about football while she drags her finger up and down his throwing arm. He’s smiling like a devil and she’s got dollar signs in her eyes. He’d notice ‘em if he’d glance on up every once in a while. His eye balls are glued to her chest.
“So you’ll come with me then? All the houses are going to be open on Greek Lane, it’s going to be a huge block party.” I shake my head no behind her back but he’s not paying me a lick of attention. He’s too busy agreeing to go with her. He never could resist a pretty blonde. “I promise you, you’ll have a good time,” she leans into his side and whisper’s something into his ear that has him turning beet red. This girl is trouble with a capital T.
She turns her body toward me and I plaster on a plastic smile while she looks me over. “You should come too, you can meet some of the girls,” she offers with a heavy handed dose of fake enthusiasm. That’s a hard pass and a hell to the no.
A group of Deltas walk down the hall, and I feel my hands tighten into fists as they approach their leader. It’s easy to tell she’s the queen bee.
I roll my fingertips over my thumb and the phantom pain pools under my scarred skin. I’ve done my fair share of cutting while cursing the UGA Deltas and what was supposed to be. It was what Mama picked for me. But it’s never what I woulda picked for myself. It all seems to have worked out the way it’s supposed to be. I could never be them.
And after two intense therapy sessions this week, I’m starting to believe that everything really does happen for a reason, and those reasons brought me to Havenwood. Being here has given me more opportunities to make choices for me than I’ve ever had before. Evie, the Drama Department, the HH, and Chase are all choices I’ve made for myself and I’ve got zero regrets.
My eyes are wide open now. They aren’t fogged up with self-hate and clouded with regret. And right now, they see every move this Ashley is making when she exchanges info with my brother.
I don’t miss the thumbs up she slyly gives her sisters or how some of them clap their neon pink hands in delight. She goes in to hug him goodbye and holds on longer than she should.
I’ve got a bad feeling about her. My brother on the other hand is having anything but bad feelings by the dopey look on his face.
“And here I thought you had learned your lesson and were done makin’ dumb decisions,” I tell him when shes outta earshot.
“One more won’t hurt,” he says while watching her prance away.
I kept my arm looped with my brothers while we walked back. The sun’s setting behind us and dusk is settling in over Havenwood. The paths aren’t as crowded with the last classes of the day in session and students in the various cafeterias for supper.
“You gonna go over to Greek Lane tomorrow with blondie?” I ask him as we turn down Jock Row.
“Got nothing else to do.” He smiles with that smirk of his and I already know he’s up to no good.
“That girl’s trouble, Davis, watch yourself.”
“I plan on findin’ out just how much trouble her and I can get up into.” I dig my elbow into his side, and scold him for being so gross.
“What happened to findin’ a nice girl to date?”
“She seemed awfully nice.” He arches an eyebrow at me and I playfully pinch him.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m not marrying the girl, Sloaney, don’t go worryin’.” Well thank you, Jesus.
“Ya better tell her that, she looks like she’s ready to go ring shoppin’ with your credit card.” I give him a knowing look and he frowns right back.
“What about you, Sloaney? You and skates are playin’ house after what? A few days of datin’?” He’s scoffs and his eyes are full of judgement. I won’t have him or anyone cheapen Chase and I. What we have is special, it’s one of a kind. He just doesn’t understand which is a damn shame considering he’s the other half of my literal being.
He’s gone and gotten me red hot mad. I dig my nails into my palms and scowl at my twin.
“It all just happened like that, ya know this, Davis.” I don’t need to explain our timeline or our connection or my feelings. I’m trusting in us and in our fate.
“I know that you can be impulsive and ya follow your heart instead of your head sometimes.” The absolute nerve of him!
“And ya know what, I’ve never felt better! That man knows what I need before I do! He lets my thoughts settle and my head rest.”
“You haven’t left the house in weeks, you’ve been shacked up, pretendin’ to be a wife, instead of a college girl. I can understand wantin’ the dust to settle, but Sloaney, it’s been almost a month of you hidin’. You’re not livin’ outside of these four walls,” he says with concern, but I’m too mad at him to care.
He didn’t seem to be so “concerned,” when he was sitting his behind on the living room couch or eating the food I made for everybody. I’ve felt like me here and I love this version of me. And I haven’t loved any parts of myself in a damn long while.
We’ve been standing on the front step of the house and I’ve had enough. I shove the key into the lock and twist the knob. I scoot in and slam the door in my judgey brother’s face. I don’t want him here tonight.
I turn around and it’s just me and the dark, quiet house… and I feel like I’m home.