15. Derek
I’m holding the arms of my office chair so tight my knuckles are white. My eyes are on my screen and I’m seething at seeing him hold her like that. I want to rip his fucking face off. I want to take her and keep her where nobody but me can touch her like that. I want his blood. I want to ruin him.
I pull air in and let it out slowly, counting backwards from a hundred. Dr. Jones used to tell me to count back from ten when I felt like I would snap, that I’d find calm before I got to zero. Ten won’t cut it tonight.
Kenny told me the fiancé left with his brother with an overnight bag on Friday, so I had him slip in while she was with me so he could wire the place. Not only do I have their cells bugged because of a remote hack, now her house is bugged, too. He wired her office, his office, the bedroom they share, and their main living space Friday night. He also installed software on both their computers that’ll be helpful going forward and slapped a tracker onto her car when it was parked at the condo Friday night.
I’ve been watching her mope since yesterday. Mope. Cry. Pace. Clean. Right now I can make them both out easily with the night vision setting and the sight of her sleeping in his embrace is making my goddamn skin crawl.
That she’s pouring emotion into him infuriates me. All that emotion isn’t about him anymore; it’s about me and what I admitted to doing. That emotion is mine. She’s mine. And I don’t want his fucking hands on her.
I’m mostly calm by the time I get to thirty, because I manage to tell myself she needs time. She needs more proof of who I’m gonna be to her. She needs things she’ll get from me. Only me. I finish counting down anyway and then I keep my eyes on the screen until there’s no noise or movement for half an hour before I switch it off. I shed my clothes and get into the shower, staring at the drain with my hands braced on the tiles as the water hits my skin.
Adam Hallman doesn’t get to keep her.
Chloe Turner is going to be mine. Wearing my ring on her finger. Sleeping in my bed. I’m gonna fulfill every sexual fantasy in that blog and beyond. She won’t want for anything. Not affection. Not emotional support. Nothing.
I don’t want to wait. I want her now. But I need to play this the way I play everything. Like chess. But instead of winning for bragging rights, I’m going to take my queen. And keep her.