24. Chapter 21
“ H i, Dad,” I say when he answers my call.
“Henry,” he sounds tired, “you’re lucky Diego wouldn’t let me come after you.”
Biting my bottom lip, casting my eyes down, I nod, then realize he can’t see me and respond, “I know, and I’m sorry for not calling you. I should have when I got to Opals. I just… couldn’t be there.”
He sighs, and I can hear the coffee maker dripping, “I’m sorry, son. Banks was wrong to handle the situation like that.”
“That’s an understatement,” I mumble.
“How are you doing now?” His concern makes me smile. He’s more in tune with his feelings than the rest of the dads, but still, it’s like working with a dead fish sometimes.
“I’m functioning. Opal made me get off the couch and go to work yesterday, so I’m… coping.”
There’s a heavy silence on the other line, and I worry that wasn’t the right thing to say, but it was honest, so there’s that.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it since we were all pretty shocked, but all of us here have been worried about you. Fern’s torn up about the whole thing. Baking at all hours, so now the house smells like burnt sugar,” he chuckles, “I love you, Henry. Don’t do that to me again.”
“I love you too,” I promise, making a mental note to call Fern. “I’m heading to the library now, but I have a favor to ask.”
“Ask away,” I can almost hear his swallow of coffee.
“I’d like to move into an apartment with a guy I work with,” I spit the words out, anxiety gripping my throat in a vice. “I haven’t seen the place yet, but if he’s willing to show me the room, would you… Would you come look at it with me?”
Letting out a deep breath, I run my hand through my hair and grip the curls in anticipation. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and I look at my phone to make sure I didn't lose him when he clears his throat.
“Are you sure that’s what you want? You were the one who wanted the freshman experience, and it’ll take you away from the boys.”
“I’m sure, Dad. I think it’s time I find out who I am without the core four.”
The library is perfectly kept, the librarian is an older man with gold half glasses perched on his nose and a warm smile that I return when I sign in.
“If you need anything, my name’s Ian,” his salt and pepper beard makes him look like an older Santa.
“Thank you,” I smile and head toward a table that looks empty. A great place to work on multiple projects. Spreading my work out into piles, I use my computer in the center, grabbing each stack until my assignments are complete and turned in. Getting all of the assigned materials out of the way helps me focus on midterms coming up next week.
Some professors have already given those midterms, choosing to enjoy an early fall break. If Dad agrees on the apartment, I’ll likely stay. I don’t want to go home to a family that chooses business over me.
My mind wanders as I look around the library. The windows show a dusky sky outside, and my stomach takes the opportunity to growl. I was so focused I didn’t even think about food.
I’ve gorged myself sick over the past couple of days, choosing to eat everything in sight instead of talking out my feelings. Talking is hard, eating is not.
I’m starving, so I pack up my stuff and head toward the dining hall. It isn’t far from the library, but I’m not sure I can brave another run-in with Banks and his fiancé . Even the word makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Thinking of him touching her or her touching him.
Something in Banks’s eyes makes a fire simmer low in my belly, his gray irises practically glow under the star-lit sky. His lips descended upon mine, hungry. His tongue slipping between my lips, ravishing.
His hands travel up my arm and over my shoulder to my neck so I scoot closer. Wanting nothing more than to have no space between us. Lifting to his knees, he deepens his kiss, pulling me impossibly closer than before.
My hands trail down his front to the top of his jeans, where I wait and his breath catches. “You don’t–”
“I want to,” I cut him off, popping the button open on his jeans. His eyes bounce from where my hands move lower, but my eyes never leave his. We’ve only gone so far as very heavy making out, but tonight, after he brought me out to our favorite spot with a blanket and a packed cooler full of dinner, I can’t help but feel even more connected to him.
Tethered, as if his soul and mine are bound.
Running my hand over his hardening cock, my cheeks flush when he shuts his eyes and leans back. “Fuck, Henry, that’s…”
His words die on his tongue as I pepper his neck with kisses. I love when his voice catches in his throat, when he loses himself in my touch.
It’s a perfectly mild evening. The crickets are singing their songs, and lightning bugs light up the night around us, dancing over the tall grass.
“Can I?” I gesture to his jeans, gripping his hips. He nods and shifts so I can pull the denim off him, leaving him in his boxers and t-shirt. Running my teeth over my lips, I swallow and reach for his boxers next. His hand covers mine, and he lowers his head so our eyes connect.
“We don’t need to….. I mean…”
“Do you not want me to?” I ask, worried that he might not, and I could be royally screwing this up.
“I’d like to first,” Banks shifts us so I’m leaning back, and he’s hovering over me, reaching for the button on my jeans and unzipping them. “Can I?”
He waits, eyes boring into mine, and I have to swallow, or else I fear I might drool. He places a swift kiss to my lips, “If you don’t want me to, I won’t. It’s okay Henry.”
“It’s not—” my thoughts are jumbled, and my tongue feels tied. “I… I want this, please.”
His smile lights up his whole face before he kisses me again, this time more urgent. His tongue delves between my lips before he moves lower, and I swear if we weren’t sitting, I’d faint.
After spilling everything in me, the need to feel him runs hot through my body, and I know I want my first time to be with him. I’ve known it for a while now, and judging by the look in his eyes, I think he does too.
“I do,” he says as if plucking the thought straight from my head.
I nod, not trusting my voice to give away my nerves. Pulling a condom and a small single-use lube packet from the back pocket of my discarded jeans, I hold them between us. My hands shake so much they both fall from my fingers as I whisper, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Embarrassment floods my cheeks, making them turn bright red.
Banks bends down, plucking the foil from the blanket, and says, “Me either.”
My eyes widened and flew to his, “You mean?”
“I’m a virgin,” he nods with a small, vulnerable smile. The tips of his ears go pink, and I rush in and kiss him. Our lips move in a rhythm that feels entirely its own like our bodies know our hearts are connected.
“We can learn,” I whisper into his mouth while our lips take a break.
“Together.”
The memory blindsides me.
How we figured out what worked and what didn’t. How fucking steady he was when I got nervous. Tears threaten to fall just as I make it to the dining hall, so I load up my box with everything that looks remotely good, pay, and head to Opal’s apartment. It’s not ideal, but they’ve seen worse, and it’s not like I have anywhere else to go.