33. Chapter 30
T he break was peaceful, easy .
Now, with the first day of classes back in session after almost two weeks off, I feel like my shoulders are strung with twine, and I can’t untangle the knots. Talon came by the coffee shop this morning and asked to catch up. I gave him my apartment number and told him to come by after classes.
Koda and I hadn’t discussed the kiss since we were both busy with midterms and then he went home for the break. I think he’s worried I’ll change my mind. Or that he took advantage of my sadness. Either way, I should probably tell him that neither is the case.
I know I’m not ready for anything serious, and if he’s okay with that, then I am too.
“Daydreaming again?” Opal jokes.
“Ha-ha,” I mock and get back to cleaning up so the closing shift doesn’t have much to catch up on before the rush. When I’m done, Koda comes into the employee locker area and smiles at me.
“Hey,” I wave and use the machine to clock out.
“Hey,” he laughs and looks away.
“Could we talk when you get home? Nothing bad,” I add when his smile falters. “What with midterms and then break, we just haven’t had much time to talk about…”
I don’t have to remind him of the kiss. His cheeks turn pink, as do the tips of his ears. We texted a bit over the past week, random shit he was doing, and me asking if I could eat some of his stash of cookies if I promised to replace them.
His smile gets wider as he nods, and his hand brushes mine as I walk by to leave. The contact sends a shiver up my arm, the hair there standing on end. It’s only been a month since my whole world fell apart, but having all this space and time to myself has been so… unexpectedly amazing. Putting into perspective just how much I used to lean on Banks, Tal, and Toby.
Getting to the apartment, I quickly clean up and take a shower before Talon comes over. Remembering the dough I made last night in the fridge, I set it out and preheat the oven. Getting lost in rolling out the dough so it’s the perfect thickness, I don’t hear the knock on the door until it turns into pounding.
“Sorry!” I gasp, unlocking the door to find both Talon and Toby. “Oh.”
“Toby wanted to come too,” Talon grumbles, bypassing me into the kitchen where he makes a sound between approval and hunger. “You’re making cookies?”
I laugh while shaking my head. “Lemon cookies.”
Toby rubs his stomach and groans, “I could eat a whole dozen.”
“Me too,” Talon says, eyeing the dough.
“I’m planning on icing them for the cafe, so don’t even think about it,” I warn, and they both scoff in unison.
Talon kicks off his boots and dive-bombs the couch, making himself comfortable. Toby settles onto one of the new barstools I bought while Talon clicks the TV on and thumbs through the channels, finally settling on football. It plays in the background, and as I work, no one speaks.
“So,” Toby breaks the silence. “Last week was weird without you home.”
I nod, trying not to think about Banks taking Charlie with him after the game. I want to ask so many things. Like, how long did she stay? Did they sleep in the same room, or did our dads give her my room? Were they touchy-feely? Did they kiss? The thought makes me want to recoil into my mind and never come out.
“Banks punched me,” Toby admits.
That pulls my attention and the tray clatters to the ground, perfectly baked cookies now lying broken on the floor.
“Excuse me?” I blink, looking at him.
Talon stands up and walks over to where I’m standing among the crumbles of lemon sugar cookies. Bending down, he snaps me out of my freeze, and I move the hot sheet to the pot holders I had ready on the counter so no one gets burned.
We throw the cookies in the trash and I lean against the counter. “Tell me what happened.”
They go into the whole event, every detail down to what Cin said, which makes me love her even more. How Fern reacted, and how after that, they didn’t see Banks or Charlie until they had to go back to campus for their own midterms, so they don’t know if Charlie stayed or not. Banks didn’t say a word to them the whole long weekend.
“He’s great at icing people out,” I whisper after Talon grumbles the last part.
“I’m not sure what’s going to pull him from this life crisis he’s having, but whatever it is needs to happen. Fast.” Toby sounds exhausted, lost, and I notice his shoulders slumped.
“Are you okay?” I ask him, leaning down on my elbows at the island so I’m eye to eye with him, finally noticing the slight yellowish-green bruise under his eye.
“Did I tell you I saw her, Salem?”
I look at Talon, whose face is just as shocked as mine must look. “Salem, from elementary school?”
He nods, eyes bouncing between mine and his brother’s.
“Fuck,” Talon lets out, running his hand over his head.
“She won’t speak to me, it’s like she hates my guts. But she disappeared.” His voice gets louder as he says what's on his chest, and I give him space to let him get it out. “She saw me… it wasn’t a great reunion. I was… indisposed. She barged into the room, looking for Gemma. She found her, and before I could really see her, I winked. God, her face. It was like she saw a ghost, and when it clicked through the sex fog, I tried to go after her.”
“You were fucking?” Talon tries and fails to hide his laughter.
“Tal, don’t be a dick,” that couldn’t have been easy on him, and his brother’s laughter isn’t helping.
“I’m sorry, that’s just…” he trails off, trying to curve the laugh.
“I saw her at the party before school started, but I thought I was hallucinating. Ever since she barged into Gemma’s room, I’ve tried cornering her to talk, forgetting about her, but nothing works.”
“Have you tried her dorm?” I ask, thinking of how Banks showed up here. He didn’t show up for me per se, but he was here.
“I don’t know which one it is,” he sighs. “And every time I see her, she disappears again.”
“Well, now that I know she’s here, I’ll try to talk to her if you want?” I offer, knowing he would do the same for me.
“Did you ask Gemma if she’s in the dorm?” Talon says.
Toby shakes his head, “I haven’t told Gemma about Salem. Not that I’m worried, I just don’t really have the words yet.”
I understand that. I feel like I haven’t had the words in weeks. Toby’s phone rings, and Gemma’s name flashes on the screen before he answers. Turning, Talon taps my shoulder with his fist. “You look better if a bit… hairy-er than before.”
“At least I can grow a beard, baby face,” I laugh. “I’m doing okay.”
“How’s the roommate?” He nods toward the living room as if Koda’s here. My face must give me away because he’s like a shark with blood in the water. He steps closer, catching my eyes. “You fucked him?”
“No!” I shout, then think better of it and lower my voice. “We kissed once.” The way he’s smiling makes me feel awful.
Why is he so excited about the idea of me fucking someone else?
About the possibility of me erasing Banks from my life?