Choosing You (Gravity Hill #3)

52. Chapter 49

W atching his smile grow, I know I made the right choice. He’s proven these past two weeks that he’s sincerely trying, and I’m starting to really believe him. Instead of hanging out with Tal and Toby, he’s here with me doing something that I love.

After camping, he respected my space but still found ways to show me he was thinking of me. Plus, every time he has a session with Dr. Laurier, he sends me text after text about how it went, and how he felt about it–letting me in without me having to pry it out of him.

It’s been refreshing, and I’m finding myself softening towards him more and more.

“Press it into the dough and shake it a little,” I instruct. Watching him gingerly put the cutter into the dough has me rolling my lips in, so I don’t laugh. He presses down and shakes so hard the table rattles.

“Maybe not that hard,” I chuckle. He looks at me with a sheepish smile and tries again. “It’s more of just a shimmy. Like this,” and I show him, this time with me guiding his hand.

He goes to lift the cookie from the dough, and I grab his hand. “Not yet, just wait.”

He looks confused, and I smile, nodding for him to go again. He places the silver ring in the sugar cookie dough where I tell him until we’ve cut as many as we can out of the sheet.

“Now what?” He asks, his silver eyes wide and possibly even excited.

“Now we peel the rest of the dough away.” Lifting one side of the dough, I carefully peel it away from the ones that have been cut. Revealing over a dozen cookies ready to be placed on baking sheets.

Grabbing a spatula from the end of the table, I gently transfer the cookies to a lined baking sheet, filling it up. Banks grabs the other one and takes the filled one from my hands. Once the next one’s filled, I grab it and walk to the oven against the wall.

Banks follows with the other tray, opens the oven, and slides it in, matching my movements.

Closing the oven doors, I set the timer and turn to Banks, who’s smiling as he asks, “New recipe?”

I can’t help but return his smile. “Yeah. It’s a peanut butter sugar cookie base, and I’m going to ice it with a chocolate ganache.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’ll be your first taste tester.” He smirks, glancing into the oven like a kid who can’t wait for the sugar rush.

“We have to make the icing,” I push him back gently, and he captures my wrists, holding my hands against his chest. We stand there locked in a battle of wills.

I want him to kiss me.

I want to kiss him.

Instead, he lifts my wrist to his mouth and places the gentlest of kisses there.

My phone dings in my apron, breaking the moment between us. Banks drops my hand and watches me pull my phone from my pocket. Koda’s name pops up with a text, and I bite my lip. I’m not sure if I should read it in front of Banks.

I’ve only briefly spoken to Koda since I told him I couldn’t hook up with him again, and he left without a word. It’s been a bit awkward working together, and I try to stay out of his space at the apartment.

Koda: I know I’m not supposed to, but I miss you.

Fear licks my insides. I don’t have to look at Banks to know he’s read it. But I want to, I want to see how he’s going to react. Looking up, I find his face neutral, shocking me beyond measure.

“I’m…”

“It’s okay,” Banks’s voice is tender, confusing me further. “I know what it’s like to miss you, Henry. I don’t blame him, and I have no right to be upset with you at all.”

His tone makes me pause. He doesn’t sound angry or get loud, but every second that I stay silent, his eyes dim a little more until he finally asks, “Do you miss him?”

“Not like that,” I tell him. “I told him before the break that I couldn’t just fuck around and that I wasn’t ever going to be the guy for him. Our friendship has been a bit strained, but I’m hoping he can get past it. He’s a great guy, and I like hanging out with him.”

He nods, running a hand down his face and around his neck, looking away before his eyes come back to meet mine.

“Okay.”

He moves to leave, and I debate whether or not to stop him. I can’t have him thinking… fuck, I don’t know what he’s thinking.

“Tell me what’s going on in your head,” I latch onto his arm. “Please.”

He hangs his head for a moment, and I wonder if the old Banks will come back and walk out instead of talking this through with me.

“I’m thinking that you did what you needed to after I hurt you. Am I happy about it? No, but I can’t be mad at you for it either.” His incredibly mature response throws me off balance. “Am I okay with him texting you? Not really, but again, I don’t get to demand anything from you. That’s not how a healthy relationship works.”

“So if I texted him right now and asked him to come hang out, you’d be okay with that?” I probe. This version of Banks isn’t at all what I’m used to. His jaw flexes, and just the sight makes me want to do a lot of dirty, naked things with him. “I’m kidding.”

He lets out a deep breath, “That’s not funny, Fancy.”

My laughter shakes my stomach, it was so tense in here that Harley and Zeke stopped what they were doing to watch.

“I’m sorry.” Grabbing his hand, I thread my fingers through his like I used to, and he lets out a huge breath. “That was bitchy.”

He chuckles and rolls his eyes.

“I deserve it and so much more.” He is looking directly at me now with such an open expression that it takes me a moment to realize he’s still talking. “But I am worried, Henry. I’m worried that you’ll never be able to see me for the man that I was before.”

He pauses and looks down. “And I don’t blame you for that. I fucked up so massively that I’m just happy you’re willing to talk to me.”

The way he handled that whole conversation has hope soaring through my body. My Banks is still in there, and he’s finally clawing his way back to me.

Back at the mansion, our dads, Creed and Mack, are busy running through everything and making sure everyone they’ve called in is ready for tomorrow. Talon, Toby, and Banks are playing something on the game station. Cin has her earbuds in, pencil in hand, drawing who knows what. She’s taken up drawing, something her therapist recommended.

Banks looks up when I walk in, and I feel it. The soul-deep connection we share. Setting down the plate of cookies we made today, I look up at the screen. It’s one of the games where they have to work together to escape a killer.

I snort, it’s fitting. Since that will be us tomorrow, minus the extra lives bit.

“Wanna join us?” Toby asks, looking between me and the TV.

Looking down at my flour and sugar-dusted clothes, I shake my head. “Nah, I’ll pass this time. I need a shower.”

He shrugs as Banks grabs one of the cookies, and our eyes lock when he takes a bite. “Mmmm,” he hums. “Are these new?”

Toby and Tal perk up, swiping their own cookies, and Banks winks. He knows damn well what they taste like, but he also knows I like to see people’s first reactions when they try anything new I’m working on.

Toby practically swallows his whole and pats his stomach before going in for another. “Peanut butter cookies with chocolate icing? Best yet, Henry.” He shouts before shoving the other cookie in his mouth.

Tal offers half of the cookie to Cin, and Banks pipes up. “It’s called ganache, you uncivilized neanderthal.”

Tal eyes him and then looks at me before pretending to gag. “Get a room.” Cin smacks his shoulder, one ear bud hanging out of her ears. She takes a small bit and chews. I really want Cin to love them. I still haven’t made one that’s gotten her really excited, and I know red velvet’s her favorite, but I haven’t perfected that recipe yet.

“Wow, Fancy,” Cin’s use of my nickname, now that she knows where it came from, makes me blush. “These are really good.”

“Yeah?” Biting down on my bottom lip, I wait for her eyes to find mine so I can verify she’s not lying to make me feel better. She’s a terrible liar.

“Almost as good as Fern’s red velvet cupcakes.” She laughs, and I hmph. I really hoped these would be the ones to top that damn cupcake.

The plate’s almost gone by the time I finally leave to grab that shower, which makes me smile.