Ciao Bella

Chapter Six

“Don’t ever try to fight a losing battle, no matter how many times you convince yourself it’s going to work, it won’t, and in the end if love is involved, good luck.” —King Campisi

Bella

It was all meaningless.

I hated that I woke up thinking that thought… it’s all meaningless, like why do I even try with this guy? Every word I said was offensive to him, and every response he gave to me was so bitter that I was instantly triggered to the point of lunging at him.

My brain went back to the night things shifted—the night they changed between us, the night he still never admitted to happening, which just pissed me off even more because it made him a dirty liar.

“Can’t,” Ivan whispered. ‘Leave. I can’t.”

“I can.” I fought him, and then I jumped into the bath with him. He wrapped me in his arms and cried, and then he kissed me.

It was my first kiss.

It was full of anger and pain.

And all I could do was accept it, drink it and swallow it away into the darkness where it belonged.

He was hurting and if by giving him my mouth, I could make him feel slightly better, I would.

And I did.

He pulled my shirt over my head.

He was already naked, his eyes crazed, wild, when he bit down on my shoulder and gripped my arms.

I screamed out in pain.

He shoved me away. “Go, just go!”

“Ivan—”

“—go!”

I flipped onto my back, every sound he made, every sigh, every movement in his bed made me want to murder him, it was like he was doing it accidentally on purpose—annoying me, making me question everything, doubt, and then rage.

Maybe that was the issue I truly had at the end of the day, the rage. We’d been in the dorm—the south dorms, thank God—for less than twenty-four hours and I was already glaring at him and hoping he’d actually feel said glare in his sleep.

He lied about the snoring.

He looked like a sleeping god, which quite honestly made it so much worse than him being loud. I never actually asked the universe this, but why were the pretty ones such assholes? Were his good looks to make up for his lack of personality? Was he cursed? Was I cursed for having to both stare at him and put up with him?

Ivan tossed on his left side and ran his hand through his hair. I quickly looked away like I was doing something wrong, only to look back over my shoulder in an attempt to convince myself why he was the absolute worst.

His eyebrows were clearly too sharp just like his jawline, who actually liked someone that perfect?

His chin was obviously too—obvious just poking out there like he was Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, but a way better looking version, and his fingertips were full like his stupid eyebrows and lips.

His knuckles were scarred from beating the shit out of everyone and everything, see? Welcome rage once more. His full lips pressed together in a dreamlike smirk, and I was once again angry that he existed—not only to torment me, but to make me feel inferior.

Ivan sighed again and turned toward me. The universe decided it would be an obviously good time for the sheet to fall down to his hips. Nope. I jerked away and glared at the opposing wall.

He had nothing.

I had everything.

Maybe I’d been too spoiled, too spoon-fed, too young? Who knew, but at the end of the day, he wouldn’t matter to me, he was a means to an end, not even a friend.

And he’d never know the real reason why I hated him so much, just like I’d probably never know why he provoked me in the same way. We were on opposing teams in my book.

So, at the end of the day, when you took everything individually into mind, that just meant annoying and not beautiful as far as his features, which was perfectly fine by me because he already lost when it came to personality.

Then again, I tilted my head, if you took it all into one huge screen of focus like if you expanded the picture on an iPhone…

He was a god that had been placed in the wrong family line, so whatever you thought you understood—you would never trust.

De Langes, after all the stories I’d heard from my Family, were always a risk, and my only goal being the youngest daughter of the Abandonato Family was to be both ruthless…

And safe, unlike my sister and brother-in-law.

Safe also included protecting my heart at all costs.

A nice communications major I could deal with.

An accountant.

A lawyer.

Hell, even a police officer.

Maybe I was broken because the last thing I wanted was the bad boy, the forgotten, the forbidden.

“Stop.” Ivan’s raspy groan made me still in my bed. “You keep looking at me and then not looking at me, sighing, then looking at me again. I know I’m attractive, but God, you move so heavily in your sleep, just like the way you walk.”

I jolted up and glared at him. “I’m sorry, what’s wrong with the way I walk?”

“Heavy, you walk heavy, you would literally never…” He rolled to his side, abs on display. “…and I do mean never, be able to sneak up on someone, you’re all heel no toe.”

“Well, you’re a… you’re a—”

He grinned and cupped his ear, his messy hair chaotically spiking up in all directions. “What? I’m a what? Can’t hear you all the way over there.”

“THEN SUCK SHIT and suffer from your side!” There were moments in time where you wonder what actually possessed you to just… react, that, apparently was mine as I grabbed my pillow lunged toward his bed, then managed to launch my body on top of his and just push.

I shoved the pillow over his face and wrapped my arms around his neck.

He flailed a bit, like a fish, a very sad dying goldfish that you’d never remember at the end of the day. But when I started to pull back, he flipped me against the wall and said words I would never forget. “I’m glad you like it rough. You’ve been getting soft lately.”

His hand reached to my hips and squeezed.

I gripped him by the hair and tugged. “Touch me again like that and I’m going to cut off your balls in the middle of the night!”

He grinned. “Aw, baby girl, would that be the first time you touched a man? I think I’d actually be impressed with your bravery.” He lifted his hand. “Up top, let’s high five over this adventure.”

“AGHHHHHH!” I didn’t think my scream would actually cause knocking on the door or that in a panic I’d dive under his covers and just lay there limp, like the goldfish I just imagined him being, but when the door suddenly burst open, it was a voice I did not want to hear.

“Typical.” Ash sighed. “So typical. And I can see you by the way, also we’ve been monitoring you guys for twenty-four hours and this is how well you’ve gotten along?”

Junior’s voice was next. “I hate siblings.”

“Hey, back up.” Ash groaned. “We’re all in this together.”

“Like High School Musical.” Junior agreed. “Wait, am I Troy then, or are you?”

“You do have the better voice.” Ash let out a long sigh. “Damn it, should have taken voice lessons instead of working my ass off in the gym and beating you up, regrets always come later in life, you know?”

“Word.”

Ivan groaned next to me. “Let us die in peace.”

“Classes…” Ash clapped his hands three times before he continued speaking. “…start tomorrow, get your shit together or you really will be dead.”

Junior coughed out a “He, like literally, killed one of his cousins, so… I’m just going to leave on those very encouraging parting words.”

“Asshole.” Ash growled. “It was a direct order.”

“Blood… must be spilled.” Junior agreed. “Oh, and that includes you two, don’t think we’ll give you a soft pass just because you’re Family, even you, Bella. You have one job, don’t be assholes. We’re trying to keep you alive, but you will be dead if you don’t get with the program.”