Ciao Bella

Chapter Eight

“In the mafia, one thing remains true every single time. Insanity turns into normalcy, your best bet is to accept your fate and just know, eventually you will lose your shit, and it will most likely be in the most epic, down in flames, sort of way. How exciting, so much to look forward to!” —King Campisi

Bella

He was driving me crazy.

And if he didn’t stop humming behind me, I was going to suddenly stop and pray he broke his jaw on the back of my head and then tripped. “Pick a different song to hum.”

He’d gone from Purple Rain to Baby Got Back, followed by a hilarious, not, rendition of Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.

My ears were tired—I was tired. Try sleeping in the same room as Ivan the Terrible and then get back to me. He didn’t snore, he was too pretty for words, too stupid to live (in my opinion), and just the worst hummer in the history of humming.

People would literally give him a trophy to stop making noise.

Hi, I’m people.

“Ivan…” I ground out his name, I sounded half dead, my teeth clenched while my jaw popped. “If you keep humming ‘This is the Song that Never Ends,’ my fist is going to end up down your throat, I will find something to grab, might be a lung, might be your liver, hell, I might go deeper and grab you by the dick and make it an innie, thus making it impossible to bone anyone but yourself—point is, stop. I know you’re doing it on purpose. We both know you can’t sing, so I don’t know why you think you can hum. I’ll admit you’re a great shot, even better with a knife. Music, however, is not your calling.”

He stopped humming and grinned at me. “I know.”

I exhaled. “Thank—”

The humming continued as we walked toward orientation, just like the clenching in my jaw continued while we walked side by side. Why did he have to be the hardest person to get along with in the history of all histories?

His humming stopped when we saw what was on our schedule for day two of orientation, basically day two was just a ton of partying and clubs showing off what they had to offer. But to look involved, we had to go and support our fellow students and not look scary. Oh no, we weren’t allowed to look too scary, not that it mattered, they knew exactly who we were. What our Families did. Who owned this prestigious university they attended.

So, whenever we were around the other students, they stared—some were brave enough to talk with us like it didn’t matter we had blood on our hands.

I’d started freshman year as the girl to conquer so that felt fun and extremely shameful, but it made it impossible for me to date because I never knew if they wanted me because they genuinely liked me or because of my last name, which in turn made me shy away from any guy.

I’d take it to my grave.

But because of my parents, because of my life—I’d only ever kissed one guy since the bathtub incident, and it was horrible.

I was a virgin.

A miserable virgin who got made fun of by the miserable manwhore next to me for being that way, and every time he commented on it, I felt more and more insecure, which just fed the anger even more.

I dressed like I knew exactly what I was doing on the outside.

On the inside, I could at least admit during weak moments, I was a bit broken on most days, on rare ones, a bit shattered.

I had every reason in the world to be confident, but sadly, money and beauty don’t buy you those things. They can’t, and if they do, you best believe they’re very fleeting and leave you emptier than before.

Ivan could sleep with half the girls on campus, and they’d high five him. He could do a lot as a man, and I wish he understood how unfair the balance was between us. He came from a Family of betrayers and murderers and would get high fives for conquering.

While I was the conquered.

A guy I didn’t recognize smiled at me, he had sandy blond hair, was pretty buff, to the point that I would have done a double take if I was even remotely interested, he also looked like he surfed too much or had a tanning package that he needed to definitely tone down on, and was wearing head-to-toe Supreme.

Sigh.

He slowly made his way over to us. “Hey,”

He ignored Ivan.

Ivan hated being ignored.

Like, hated it.

I nodded. “What?”

“Just saying hi.” He moved closer.

To my right, Ivan tensed. I didn’t have to look to know he was clenching both fists along with his jaw.

“You busy later? Heard a rumor that nobody’s been able to conquer the University’s queen. Care if I toss my hat into the pot and show you my magic?”

Ew. Did that work on people? Furthermore, baby bird wouldn’t be so confident if he knew that I had a knife strapped to my thigh.

I made a disgusted face. “I think even if you threw in every chip you had, you’d still lose based on odds alone, mainly being, I’m not a whore and I’m not for sale and the minute you get any part of your dick close to me, I’m not going to suck it. I’m going to chew it off, spit it out and make you bleed. So sure, make all the bets you want, put in the good ol’ college effort, just don’t go crying into your trust fund when I make you a eunuch for even dreaming of touching any part of me, okay?”

He paled.

I patted him on the shoulder. “Yup, good talk. Let’s go, Ivan.”

Ivan smirked and looked back at him and said loudly, “Just try man. By the way, in case you were wondering…” Wait, what was he doing? He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. His grip was strong, unbreakable in a way that immediately made me feel safe and seen. “She’s already taken, we kind of stay with our own, you know, powerful, rich, untouchable… attractive. Oh, and your fly’s been open this entire time, and steroids are illegal, I would know.”

The guy started charging toward us. Ivan dropped his hand.

I sighed. Idiot.

“It’s always like this, they think they can just power their way into us.” Ivan shook his head. “Think he’ll go for a right hook first?”

“Mmm…” He was like two feet away. “I think he’ll go straight, like a sucker punch.”

“Yeah, he’s a bitch like that. All right, do you wanna take him or can I just work off some steam first?”

“Be my guest.”

“You know, we’re always friendlier when we fight.”

“It’s the blood.” I nodded. “Oh, and please, do make him bleed.”

“My pleasure, little girl,” Ivan said before ducking and then sending an uppercut to the guy’s jaw, he went flying backward, as blood spewed from his chin. He collapsed against the grass and grabbed at his mouth, then held up his front tooth. Oh shit, he bit his tongue.

I winced while onlookers cursed and sighed. “That’s gonna need stitches.”

“His days going down on girls are so done, how sad.”

“For him.” I snorted. “A celebration for girls everywhere though.”

“What!” The guy stood and wobbled. “Gives you the fucking right! I was just talking to her, what? She your girl or something? I’ll kill you.”

Ivan shrugged. “Yeah, she is.”

I had no time to process what was happening before Ivan leaned down and jerked me toward him, then pressed an angry kiss against my lips. His tongue invaded, he invaded, he claimed, he made me his for a too-brief few seconds in front of everyone at orientation, then pulled back and glared at the guy he’d just destroyed and rasped, “Any questions?”

People started muttering under their breaths and quickly became extremely interested in things like the Fencing Club, Choir, and Art Club.

I shoved Ivan away from me and wiped my mouth. “Gross, you didn’t have to use tongue!” Imagine where it’s been!

Ivan rolled his eyes and used his middle finger to wipe his lips. “Hey, it was a quick save, and he was being a dick. Plus, I’ve never gotten any complaints about my tongue or anything else.”

I started gagging and gripped his shoulder. “Ivan, that’s what happens when you pay them.”

“Ohhhhhh…” He nodded. “Wow, that’s just the thank you I needed, and I don’t need to pay for anything, they should be paying me, or at least tipping.”

“Ah, so now you’re a prostitute.”

“Yeah, that turned on me really fast.” He sighed. “Let’s just get this whole marching around orientation thing done, grab some fliers, be seen and get back to the house, I need to grab more shit anyway.”

We both knew the whole point was for normal people around campus to see the popular kids from the mafia acting normal or, in our case, chaotic and then all would be well. They’d report to whoever they needed to report to, oftentimes their parents, that we had a united front, and everyone was happy. “Whatever.”

“Have I mentioned your vocabulary, as always, is staggering? One day you’ll be able to spell purple, can’t wait.”

“I was five and the r’s were hard, you whore!”

“Shhhh…” Ivan reached for my hand and gripped it. “We’re in love, remember? All part of the facade, what a perfect crime novel… but pretty sure most lovers die in the end by way of violence. I think I’d prefer the gunshot to the head than the stab wound.”

I shrugged and kept holding his hand, playing my part even though I’d have to wash my own fingers about ten times before eating. My nails dug into his palm, but he didn’t even flinch. Girls watched us walk by, eyeing him despite me claiming him. It pissed me off so much that I got even closer to him. It was rude. I didn’t want him, but they didn’t know that.

I blinked up at him. “You would really prefer a quick death?”

He stopped walking, jerking me against him so hard, I nearly slammed my head against his chin.

Ivan’s messy dark hair was tousled from the movement, causing it to fall across his eyes in a way that had me itching to pull it, but probably not in a friendly way. I gulped and looked up.

His jaw was clenched. “Well, I just figured that it was smarter to get taken out fast, just like my Family, don’t you think? I mean, history so often repeats itself, Bella.”

There was darkness in his eyes. I’d always told my dad it was there, lurking, and of course, my dad always said I was crazy, that Ivan would never turn on us. But I knew what was in his soul.

If he even had one.

My throat went dry. “Careful Ivan, it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead.”

“Careful Bella, murder is a crime punishable by law, but I highly doubt your Family really cares. And yeah, I’d choose to go out the way they did, maybe it’s the only way I can honor the innocent.”

I kicked him in the shin and shoved him away from me with all the force I had. “Take it back!”

“Never.” He scoffed, then spit on the ground to prove his point. “You still killed innocents, and that’s on your Family’s line, that’s your karma, not mine. Cleanse a family line? That’s bullshit and you know it, do you even know how young my cousin was when he was pulled from his house?”

I wanted to cover my ears. I never asked. I didn’t want to know.

Maybe because deep down I knew, the Families will always do what needs to be done to protect their own.

Ivan’s nostrils flared. “Fourteen, Bella. He was fourteen.”

“He shouldn’t have run.”

“He shouldn’t have fucking died!” Ivan roared, quickly gaining attention from people around us. “And what fourteen-year-old doesn’t run? What fourteen-year-old doesn’t still cry! They don’t even know how to control their dick, let alone their legs, when someone has a gun! I don’t care what sort of Family he grew up in, I don’t care that his dad was evil, there is no excuse for killing someone who was too busy picking out his outfit for school and filming it for TikTok just because the blood that ran through his veins was filled with betrayal.” He grabbed me by the neck and walked me backward toward the forest by the back fence and slammed me up against it.

My head made a knocking sound as it collided with the tough bark. Blood pumped through my body, adrenaline followed. He wasn’t just pissed, he was livid.

He leaned down, and with each inch he got closer, he wrapped more and more hair around his fingers until my scalp burned from the sensation of being pinned on the tree and pulled by his hand. “What makes your blood better than mine?” His green eyes were so unfocused it was hard to breathe. “What makes you think it wouldn’t be so easy for me, to snap this pretty neck, to make it look like an accident? What makes you think”—he leaned in until his teeth grazed the skin below my ear—“that I won’t love it past the point of obsession, the sound, the feel, the loss of life in my hands, followed by the power? What makes you think you wouldn’t feel the same?” He pulled back, my hair slowly fell to my chest from his fingertips. “We’re all monsters Bella, all of us, you’re an even bigger idiot if you don’t believe that your Family is any different than mine. The only difference is some of us own our rage—while others pretend it doesn’t exist. But go ahead, smile at mass, shake hands, nod at all the politicians and higher ups, put on some lipstick, and show your ass, I’m sure that will hide everything, maybe even donate some money to the school for those less fortunate, but in the end, you’re the one that has to look in the mirror Bella, you’re the one that has to come to terms with what you are. Ugly to the core. Just. Like. Me.”

My teeth clenched so hard my jaw sounded like it was clicking, it probably looked like I was angry—but I was sad, so sad, that I was afraid that if I took a breath he’d pounce, he’d be able to tell, he always could when it came to me, he always predicted the broken moments and attacked when he could.

The same guy who saved me and kissed me was the same guy who wouldn’t think twice about killing me and believed I’d do the same.

The worst part about all of it, I thought as I followed a few feet behind him to the parking lot.

He was right.

He was right.

Shit. He was right.

Monsters, after all, stick together—until it’s time to fight.