Chapter Eleven
“The women in this family are fierce, sometimes I prefer getting chastised by my dad—and he has a kill list a mile long, my mom however, deals with the devil, cross her and you’ll simply… cease to exist.” —King Campisi
Ivan
I decided the definition of hell was being attracted to Satan’s mistress, taunting her only to turn yourself on and then getting throat punched in front of your nephews only to be forced to clean up poop, a green substance that looks like slime but is probably some sort of poison one of the nephews conjured up because they were bored, oh and needing to take a shower because the substance just won’t wash off.
The kids were finally asleep.
The parents were nowhere to be found, which meant we’d have to head back to campus in the morning and spend the night with two small ones we had no business being responsible for while also attempting not to kill each other.
Exhausted, I walked into the bathroom and padded across the heated, white-tiled floor. It was my favorite bathroom in the house, they even had a sauna next to it and an outdoor shower.
When Serena had it built, she straight up built the house around the massive bathroom saying it was her sanctuary, which I think pissed off Junior since he saw their bedroom as one, but whatever, I wasn’t even going to go there; I didn’t need more nightmares than I already had.
I yawned and turned on the rain shower, then dropped my jeans, peeled my shirt over my head and, in true college fashion, shoved the lump of clothes to the side.
Towels.
Shit.
I shuffled over to the shelf of white fluffy towels and jerked one off just as the door to the bathroom opened and clicked shut.
Bella sighed, turned and leaned against the door. “I’m never having kids.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Good to know.”
“Son of a bitch! Why are you naked?” She covered her eyes.
“Um, because some people don’t shower in their clothes, and this is my favorite bathroom. Why are you hiding?”
“Because kids can sense fear, Ivan!” She scissored her fingers open and peeked through, then slammed them shut again. “Put some pants on!”
“No.” I waved her off. “I’m going to clean toddler shit off of me, and then I’m going to pour a very strong drink from Junior’s whiskey collection, and then I’m going to the basement, where I know he keeps a stash of weed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Very mature of you.”
I mimicked her words and jumped into the shower. “You should clean up too, don’t think I can’t smell the applesauce in your hair form here.”
“I’m fine.” She crossed her arms over her breasts.
Do. Not. Think about breasts while naked. Noted.
I shook the thought from my head.
“I’ll wait.”
“Save water and stop being a prude, prude. Just hop in. Your bits are of no interest to me.”
Liar.
“You’re a guy, bits are always interesting,” she said, calling me on my dishonesty,
I snorted out. “Not ones that are poison-tipped, thank you.”
She started shrugging out of her jeans. Oh, okay, so she was taking me seriously. Before I could swallow my tongue, she was walking naked toward the towels. My eyes locked on her sinfully sexy ass, and I nearly choked on my next breath.
When she turned around, I nearly cracked a molar clenching my teeth so hard. Boobs. Why were her boobs so perky and full? Why did they have to look like that? Why couldn’t she have weird nipples? And why did her legs look so long? She wasn’t that tall.
SHORT, I lied to myself so I wouldn’t focus on legs.
I looked away again and managed to grab body wash while she jumped in and turned the water all the way to cold.
I jumped back. “What the hell?”
She pointed at my dick, and a not-unpleasant hum vibrated through my veins. “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to get too excited over a naked woman and you were drooling a bit, so I figured I’d help with the shrinkage.”
“Weird, I don’t find myself shrinking since this is my normal state.”
She tilted her head and stared at my dick harder. “Really?”
I couldn’t tell if she really was impressed or if she was disappointed, and it wrecked my pride that I couldn’t bring myself to ask.
I gave a dismissive shrug. “Whatever, just clean your parts, Bella.”
She stuck out her tongue, but I turned the water to hot again and gave her my back. When I risked a stealthy glance over my shoulder, she had ducked under one of the many shower heads and tilted her head back, allowing water droplets to dance down her chest.
I licked my lips.
I was a guy.
A guy who liked women a lot.
I wasn’t immune; she could be the most hateful person on this planet—which she was—and my dick would still salute her and offer to invade.
Damn.
This wasn’t good.
I turned away and tried to grab some conditioner.
“Ouch!” Bella dunked her head under the water again. “Stupid soap in my eyes. Ow, ow, owwwww.”
I smirked. “Hold on.” I walked over and pressed my thumbs to her eyes, “Okay, open just a tiny bit, let the water go in.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them while I helped her rinse them out. I didn’t realize I was still cupping her face until she looked up at me. Droplets of water slid down her cheeks.
Fuck me, I’m not that strong.
“Will you punch me if I kiss you right now?”
“Might punch you if you won’t, and we talk about this never.”
“Yup,” I said, as I crushed my mouth against hers. She gasped and wrapped her arms around my neck. I pulled back slightly. “Just… horny.”
“College students.” She grabbed my hair and jumped into my arms.
“Shit.” I mouthed against her as we tumbled back against the wall. My right hand dug into her hip, lifting her leg.
I shouldn’t.
It was messed up.
She was a virgin.
I knew she was.
“Let me.” I moved my hips against her. No matter how cruel I could be, I knew it was wrong, that I was playing the devil’s card, and that I wasn’t being the person I should be. But I couldn’t stop, and I didn’t want to. Deep down, a part of me wanted to claim her; no, not just claim, to stake a claim, to throw a giant middle finger at the other Families and say yeah, she’s mine, and I did this not because I loved your precious princess but because I wanted to tarnish whatever crown she wore. “Shouldn’t it be your enemy anyway?”
She nodded. “Then I’ll always remember that the guy who stole my virginity was a complete jackass.”
“Agreed.” I kept my groan in. What the hell was I turning into?
“Agreed.”
Wait, did that mean yes or no?
She broke away from me, stumbling back.
I had to admit, I felt a bit rejected, even though I knew it was my body talking, nothing more, right? “What? Too scared?”
She scoffed. “No, I just, whatever. Judge me all you want, I just need it to be more than shower sex with a horny college guy who hates me and thinks I’m a troll. Call me romantic.”
I reached over and grabbed her arm. “Are you willing to admit that you’d never sleep with me because my Family’s bloodline is so tainted it hurts to touch me? Because that may just feel like a challenge.”
She jerked away, and her lower lip trembled. It was the first time I’d seen even a hint of her wanting to cry. “Is it so wrong, in this world of darkness and terror, to want something for yourself?”
I had nothing.
I stared her down.
Everything about our hatred for each other felt raw, like at any minute one of us was going to suddenly collapse and admit how exhausting it was to genuinely put so much energy into pushing someone away rather than pulling them close.
This time I really wanted to kiss her.
Not because I knew it would feel good or meet any need I had.
I wanted to kiss her because she was honest, she was brutally raw, and she was fucking gorgeous that way. “No. Sometimes, the right choice is to be selfish. How else can we survive in this sort of world without at least once choosing ourselves rather than the paths given to us?”
“Wow, hot body and wisdom all in one short shower. You know, you could be extremely attractive if you stop being a jackass half the time.”
I shrugged. “Too bad it’s part of my charm.”
“Yeah.” She swallowed slowly. “It really is.”
I ignored the way she stared at me, and I lashed out, like I always did when people saw too much then got that look in their eyes like we’d somehow shared some common ground or when you could tell they wanted to ask if you were truly okay.
“Anyway…” I shoved her when I walked past. “I’m saying this only because I care, but you really need to work on your kissing skills, I thought you were going to bite my tongue off. Most guys don’t like violence like that.” I winked, then instantly felt like an ass as I saw the panic in her eyes, like she hadn’t had enough time to put her shields back up, so my arrow soared, and it hit flesh. It didn’t hit the Bella I was used to sparring with because I’d already pulled down all her defenses.
I couldn’t tell if it was a tear that slid down her cheek or remnants of water, but what I could see were her red, swollen lips.
What I could taste was how sweet her mouth was.
What I could feel, I had no business feeling.
I left her alone in the shower, grabbed my towel and stomped out of the bathroom, only to nearly run right into Junior’s solid body.
He glared down at me. “Where are the kids?”
“In bed.” Why did I suddenly want to say, sir?
Ash popped up behind him, drinking a glass of wine. “They’re alive? Cared for? Asses are changed? Swear on your life that you didn’t make them cry.”
Have I mentioned I sometimes hate this Family?
I sighed and loudly announced, just so Bella could hear, “They’re in their rooms sleeping, Bam-Bam was selling his fruit snacks again to Barbie, Walt grabbed a calculator…” Ash cursed under his breath. “…and I’m pretty sure we’re getting audited now, it’s like he knows things.”
“Very funny.” Ash gritted his teeth. “He’s a badass.”
I sighed. “Hate to tell you this, but he’s one diaper away from asking for a tie and spectacles.” I sidestep him. “But good news, he’ll be awesome at cooking the books and won’t get shot at. Bam-Bam on the other hand…”
Junior narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying Bam-Bam is too dumb to math?”
You really couldn’t win with either of them.
“I’m headed to bed.” I pointed down the hall. “I’ll find a guest room, crash, then leave in the morning.”
Junior yawned. “You can bounce now, just take Bella with you. I know you guys wanted to grab some shit before going back to the dorms. Oh, and you have that party tomorrow night, right? The welcome to Eagle Elite and remember your place while you shit your pants party, God, I miss those days. Lydia said something about stopping by to make sure you guys don’t embarrass yourselves with shit music.”
I bit my tongue.
Lydia was honestly one of my favorites, but only because she was diabolical and could basically hack any three-letter agency with her eyes closed. She’d never been caught, though her dad, Sergio Abandonato, often had some interesting phone calls with the authorities. Then again, he used to work for one of them, so maybe that’s why they don’t give him shit.
We all had bets that she’d be recruited before she finished grad school. So far, she was showing no interest, but that was kind of her MO anyway, act bored so nobody notices while taking over the world and then laugh when it goes to shit.
“Trust.” I slapped Ash on the back. “If I can take care of your kids with Bella and not end up in prison, I can handle doing the whole welcome to Eagle Elite, try not to shit your pants talk. Plus, last year, I made two guys cry and ended up winning the bet.”
Ash rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we’ll see.”
He walked off, probably in search of his wife and I kept walking, only to get grabbed by Junior and shoved toward the basement. “We need to talk.”
Nothing would or could have prepared me for his version of a talk.
An hour later, my hands shook when I crawled into the bed in one of my favorite guest rooms, not even pissed that Bella was already laying in it.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
I could barely swallow.
Hot tears slid in rapid succession down my cheeks as I stared down at my blood-stained hands. It wouldn’t wash off; he said it was better that way.
It was better that we had proof.
It was better.
That’s all he kept saying when he handed me the knife and made me swear fealty to him. Had the bastard been preparing me for this moment? Was my fucked-up training for this end?
That’s what he said when he smiled and choked up blood all over the floor while I hit him.
“Thank you,” was how he finished our talk as he collapsed against the ground and whispered, “You swore.”
“I won’t let you down.”
“Good.” He coughed. “Time is fleeting, isn’t it?”
More tears ran down my cheeks until my body started shaking. He told me too much; he told me things I didn’t want to know. He burdened me in one hour with the weight of the world and the Five Families.
And then I did what he asked.
I killed him.