Ciao Bella

Chapter Twenty-Four

“It’s always the wolf, never the sheep.” —King Campisi

Bella

I hated the kind of sleep where you know you slept but you had scenarios in your head, like a billion of them with different endings so you tossed and turned until you could find comfort only to have voices in your head, more scenarios, more stressors, until you just wanted to drug yourself to sleep.

I thought of Junior.

The wedding, things I should have said.

The funeral, more things I should have said.

And the bedroom, things I should have taken, things I should have done, and finally, things I should have asked him.

Ivan.

In all of this he’d asked me for trust and as many hours as I lay awake and tossed and turned last night, I still couldn’t figure out what the endgame was.

I was also a bit stressed once Tank left.

Did he leave Ivan’s body?

Why did I care?

Tank was in there for a while, killing was fast, right?

Finally, unable to do anything but stress out, I jumped out of bed, grabbed the fluffy white hotel bathrobe, and made my way over to Ivan’s room.

I knocked twice. “Ivan?”

No answer.

Maybe he was sleeping?

Maybe it was a permanent sleep?

And why was I so stressed out about it?

“Ivan?” I called one more time and nothing. I gripped the door handle and slowly clicked open the door. It was completely dark. If I stepped in blood or saw a body part, I was murdering him all over again.

What was I even thinking?

That would be horrible. Truly horrible. I was losing it, maybe going as crazy as Ivan under all the pressure and I’d been married to him less than twenty-four hours.

I shuffled over to the massive bed and slowly peered over, I should have brought my cell so I could see better, but I managed to lean down.

His head was still attached, so that was a good sign, I didn’t smell blood, and nothing looked out of place that I could actually make out.

His face was calm, almost like he had a more peaceful sleep than me the bastard, his eyes were closed, full lips were pressed together in an almost smirk.

Quiet, I could handle him.

I licked my lips and stared at his neck.

I shouldn’t have.

Who had veins in their neck anyway? And why was it more noticeable in the dark?

I scowled when he suddenly snatched my wrist and pulled me against the bed until our faces were inches apart. “Disappointed?”

I didn’t even try to shake free from his grasp; he was the sort of guy who liked it more when you fought back, and I was the sort of girl to do exactly that every single time no matter what.

It’s probably what made us hate each other to begin with. I was annoyed that he pushed me; he was annoyed he liked it; I was annoyed when he didn’t.

I was confusing even myself.

“No.” I leaned down until my mouth almost grazed his. “Did you have sweet nightmares?”

“Ahhh…” He didn’t touch my face, but he did lean in until his tongue accidentally hit my bottom lip because he was licking his. “I did, there was a woman on top of me, and then she said I couldn’t touch her, a monster walked in, and I had nothing but pain instead of pleasure. It was horrible. I might have scars for life.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” I smirked.

He paused. The air seemed to heat between our mouths as he gently tugged me onto the bed, careful to pull me to the other side of him. “I wish for a lot of things.”

“You can’t touch me.”

“Did I say I was going to?”

He’d dropped my wrist, but we both knew what touch meant, it wasn’t a simple hug or hand hold, it was something much more intimate.

His right hand moved to cup my cheek. “And you? Did you have sweet nightmares or vivid dreams of blood spilled across this expensive floor?”

“Oh, I dreamed of blood, yours specifically.”

“That’s lovely.”

“It was graphic.”

“Death mostly is.” Ivan grinned. “Does it make you feel better, though? Dreaming of a world without me?”

I hesitated. I wasn’t one to hesitate.

He leaned up on his side.

I tried to look away.

He gripped me by the chin. “Isn’t it your turn to be so very careful, what you wish for…”

Heart pounding in my chest, I leaned into his touch. His eyes blazed down at me, breath catching, he cursed. “Something’s broken in me.”

“Because you’re a killer?”

“Because I want to punish you for making me want.”

“You won’t get it.”

“Say it again.” He hissed. “One more time.”

I gulped. “You won’t get it; you won’t get me.”

He gripped me lightly by the hair and turned my head to the side. “One day, you’ll think differently.” His nose ran down my neck while his wet mouth ran down my skin. I felt his heated exhale like a drug pumping through my veins.

I gripped the bottom of his briefs.

He bit out a curse.

We broke apart when the sound of footsteps filled the room. I slowly got up and walked over to the adjoining bathroom and shut the door, then slid to the bottom of the floor while whispers were heard from the bedroom.

Hands shaking, I stared down at my palms.

What was happening?

Why was I even entertaining him?

He was more monster than man.

I needed a reminder of what he did, of who he was.

I didn’t need long.

A minute later, he slammed something against the door and yelled. “Get ready, we have a family lunch to attend.”

Lunch?

They were worse than the dinners.

Everyone was drunk by one in the afternoon by way of bellinis or mimosas.

I groaned into my hands.

“Look good and pure for your perfect little family, Bella, your life and mine might depend on it, oh and if I disappear for a half hour, I’m not dead, but I might wish I were.”

That was all he said.

And I was thrust back into reality.

Out of the darkness we shared and into the stark light of truth, my truth, my journey, my purpose.

Smile at brunch.

Tell everyone it was everything I wanted.

Keep the peace.

Mourn my brother-in-law.

Die a virgin.

And look the other way when my husband flirted with the staff.

Couldn’t wait.