19. Cillian
Chapter nineteen
Cillian
T hat was the longest two days of my life. I couldn’t wait to get Nova and Harper to Shine. The entire way here, stewing in anger and regret while stuck in the car with her and her warm sandalwood scent, was torture. I wanted to apologize. I was a complete dick the other night. But as soon as I had a second to catch my breath, all the anger and hurt came flooding back in. I didn’t realize I could have such explosive sex with someone I was so pissed at, but I proved it was entirely possible and entirely wrong. Unfortunately, I’m too much of a hardheaded asshole to admit that I was…well, an asshole.
We stopped for a night so I could get some sleep, but it was a useless endeavor. I tossed and turned for a few hours, then decided fuck it and woke up the girls to finish the journey. As soon as we drove past the Welcome to Shine, Massachusetts sign, the tension in the car cranked up several notches. When I caught a glimpse of Nova, her jaw was tense—just like the rest of her. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, tell her if she wanted me to turn the car toward Boston, I’d gladly take her there and keep her safe in my apartment or Finn’s penthouse. But the plan was laid before us, and I was too damn chickenshit to have her shoot me down. Ozzy and the rest of the Black Roses are perfectly capable of keeping her safe, and she obviously doesn’t want to depend on me for anything. Hell, the only reason she’s tolerating my presence is because I’m the one with the car.
It took everything in me not to walk around the car and wrap my arms around Nova when Ozzy introduced himself. It was obvious she was incredibly uncomfortable, but she wasn’t going to lose her shit in the middle of a parking lot, no matter how much she may have wanted to. And even after everything, I wanted to comfort her, to share my strength with her. Though my anger toward Nova has waned a bit the last couple of days, hers has not, and I’d rather not get kneed in the balls in front of a group of bikers.
Then, when we walked in and Knox introduced himself, her ire toward the rather large man was anything but shocking, especially when he mentioned her brother. I get it, though. There’s a certain possessiveness she has toward the memory of her brother that only someone who lost someone they loved can see. I saw her notice Cooper’s picture hanging on the wall. If she would have looked back at me, or if I would have gotten any sort of hint that she needed a strong arm to hold her, I would have left the little group that I was standing in and rushed to her. But she didn’t. Harper was right there next to her, and Nova was able to gather the strength she needed from her friend. As it should be. As soon as all of this is over, I’ll go my way and she’ll go hers. Exactly how she wants it.
“Need a cup of coffee? Maybe a little something extra in there?” Ozzy asks, scanning my face.
I’m fucking exhausted and have been tangled in knots the last two days. Even longer than that, if I think about it.
“Yeah, that sounds good.”
We head over to the bar and Ozzy walks behind it, grabbing a mug and pouring a generous amount of whiskey into it before topping it with coffee from the pot behind him then sliding it toward me.
“I didn’t think MC presidents usually bartended.”
“Seems there’re a lot of misconceptions about me going around.”
I hold my coffee cup up to him. “Touché.”
Ozzy gives me a half smile and leans his forearms on the bar. “How the hell did you get tangled up with Cooper’s younger sister, man?”
I chuckle and wonder if I should tell him the truth about our first meeting.
Fuck it.
“She stole my wallet.”
His brows raise to his hairline as he blinks at me a few times. “That’s definitely…different.”
“You have no idea. When I caught up with her, she had this disarming charm I was not prepared for. I don’t know. We talked, had a friendly little competition on who could score the most wallets on Bourbon then grabbed a drink and caught a band together. It was the complete opposite of how I saw my night going, and I liked it. A lot. Nothing happened the first night we met, but I gave her my phone number in case she found herself in a situation she couldn’t get out of, and she texted me about a month later when I was in New Orleans on business for Liam.”
“Yeah, I heard about you working with him for his side project.”
“That’s how I found out Farina was selling women. One of Liam’s guys caught some chatter about Port NOLA being used for Russian trading, and I have contacts down there.”
“Sampson?”
I nod.
“He’s a good guy. How’s he been?”
When we didn’t have control of the Boston ports, the Black Roses assisted us with transportation of our weapons regularly, and one of the ports we used was NOLA, so he became well acquainted with Sampson.
“He’s good. Expecting another kid.”
Ozzy nods. “This shit is happening too close to home for my liking. I thought with Cataldi gone, the other families didn’t have the same connections, or at the very least would have thought twice about this shit.”
“It was only a matter of time before someone picked up where Carlo left off. With Petrov putting a stop to it in his organization in New York and the rest of the Cataldi organization answering to the Monaghan family now, there’s a gap that someone was going to fill. Farina is nothing if not a slimy opportunist.”
Finn’s wife, Alessia, dated the man’s son several years ago, and let's just say the relationship did not end well—meaning he nearly beat her to death and she left. When her brother found out and confronted Orlando, he was killed under “suspicious” circumstances. There was bad blood between Farina and the Amattos after that, but nothing could be proven. Alessia’s father didn’t want to start a war based on a gut feeling and potentially leave his wife a widow and his daughter without a father, so he sat back and bided his time.
When Finn and Alessia married, Carlo didn’t take too kindly to the partnership between the Amattos and the Monaghans, knowing he was going to lose the ports and his power. With Orlando’s help, Carlo tried to take Alessia from her home. Bad move on his part because when we caught up to him, a side of Finn came out to play that I’d never known.
I’ve seen him merciless and uncaring plenty of times. I’ve seen him take a man’s life for all sorts of reasons, but this was different. When he had Orlando in his clutches, he was far from uncaring. He made the man suffer because Orlando had threatened someone precious to Finn, and that brought out a brutality in the man I’d never seen before, but have some understanding of what that felt like.
When Tony had Nova in his hands and was threatening to take her…let’s just say I’ve imagined more ways I’m going to make that piece of shit suffer in the last forty-eight hours than any reasonably sane person should. Guess that says plenty about me where Nova’s concerned.
Starting a war with Farina wasn’t on my to-do list, but there’s no way Finn is going to stand for this shit happening in his backyard. None of us are.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to look at the screen, seeing a message from Finn.
“Finn will be here in about twenty minutes. Eoghan’s coming with him.”
I called him last night and told him about Nova needing a ride to Shine, and we had some developments that needed to be discussed with the Black Roses.
“I’ll grab the good stuff then,” Ozzy quips, pulling another bottle of whiskey from the shelf.
“The way I see it, Farina is done,” Finn says about thirty minutes later while we’re sitting in Ozzy’s office.
Ozzy sits behind his desk while Finn and I have taken seats across from him. Eoghan and Jude, Liam’s brother and the club's enforcer, are on the couch and Knox is propped against the door.
“We may not play on the right side of the law, but we have principles, and the one thing I think we can all agree on is that selling women won’t be tolerated. This shit was supposed to die with Cataldi, and I made it more than clear I won’t tolerate it in my city or with any other families who do business through it. What Farina is doing is a slap in the face.”
“Liam is working one of the guys Tony had with him.” The one Nova shot, I recall with a touch of pride.
“Has he gotten anything?” Ozzy asks.
“No more than what we already know. I don’t think he was high up on the chain. Just some guy on Tony’s crew. He doesn’t seem to have any information or details on the buyers,” I reply.
Liam couldn’t give two shits about a Mafia war, but he does want information on who’s buying girls.
Finn sips his whiskey, and before he opens his mouth, I already know what his plan is going to be. Guess that comes with the territory of being the man’s second for as long as I have.
“Listen, I’ve never been good at this espionage bullshit that Liam’s involved with. I don’t have the fucking patience. Tony knows Cillian was involved in what went down at the port. The way I see it, whether Liam likes it or not, the Monaghans are part of this now, which means I’m not waiting around for Farina to bring his bullshit to my doorstep like his son did. We go in soon and we go in hard, then we can finally be done with that slimy asshole once and for all.”
Ozzy sits back in his chair and observes Finn before speaking. “We’ll help any way you need.”
Ozzy and his old lady had their own run-in with Cataldi when he threatened to sell Ozzy’s fiancée in the skin trade. Ozzy was there when we took out Cataldi. Even had a little fun with him before Finn’s cousin put a bullet in his head. This is just as personal to him as it is to any of us in this room.
“I’ll let Liam know.” I turn to Finn. “What about Mario?” Alessia’s father is still very much the don of the Amatto family—even though we’ve struck an alliance with him. And if anyone has the right to be there when Massimo takes his last breath, it’s the father of the man Massimo’s son killed.
“Mario has been waiting for this day for the last decade. He’ll be more than happy to be a part of this.”
“So we need a plan,” Knox says.
“I like Finn’s idea. Go in hard and fast. We did it in New York. What’s the difference if we do the same at Farina’s compound?” Jude asks.
“It will be a lot more guarded, for one,” Eoghan says.
Jude shrugs as though that’s the least of his concerns. “Between us, you lot, my brother’s team, and Amatto, we’ll have it covered, wouldn’t you say?”
Eoghan tilts his head from side to side then nods. “Sounds solid.” Eoghan has never been one to shy away from the most violent of plans. He can be a little shit, but he’s one of the men I know we can always count on to have our backs.
“And Farina won’t be expecting it,” Finn says. “We’ll need to head back to Boston for supplies. Let’s regroup here tomorrow afternoon since your compound is closest. We go in after nightfall.” He looks to Ozzy for confirmation.
“Like I said, anything you need,” Ozzy replies. “I’ll call my guy and let him know his pigs are going to be fed well tomorrow night.”
When we walk out to the main room of the clubhouse after our meeting, I look around the space for any sign of Nova or Harper but only find a few bikers playing pool and a couple of them sitting at the bar with beers in their hand.
Jude’s woman, Lucy, is at the dartboard trying to teach Linc’s old lady how to properly throw a dart while Linc looks on with amusement.
“God, I think you're worse at this than you are at pool,” Lucy says to her friend as she pulls a dart from the wall next to the board.
“Missed you in there,” I say to Linc, pointing at the hallway.
“View’s better out here,” he replies, and his woman, Charlie, turns and blows him a kiss. “Ozzy and Jude know I’ll be down for whatever they decide to do with that asshole.”
It wasn’t too long ago Charlie was almost sold into a human trafficking ring herself. It was at the hands of Cataldi, but we showed up and got her out before the deal went down, and we took out some of Cataldi’s men in the process while Linc was holed up in the hospital. I have a feeling this will be some sort of cathartic retribution for Linc.
“Have you seen the two girls I came with?”
“As far as I know, they haven't left their room,” Lucy answers. “I was going to go check on them, but I have a feeling I’m the last person Cooper’s sister wants to see at the moment.”
Considering she was the woman he was protecting when he died, I’m inclined to agree.
“Let me know if she’s a problem for you, and I’ll talk to her about going back to Boston with me.”
“Listen, she’s going through some shit, and I’m the last person who would be angry at her for having some big feelings where I’m concerned. If she needs some time to wrap her head around everything, I’m not going to judge.”
“You’re a good woman, Lucy.” She’s handling Nova’s perspective on the situation a lot better than I am.
She offers me a half smile. “When I want to be. And if you want to check on her before you boys go off and do whatever it is you're going to do, go down the hallway and make a right. Third door on the left.”
Lucy turns around and picks up a dart, handing it to Charlie. “Alright, my sister from another mister. Let’s see if you can actually hit the board this time.”
“Bitch,” Charlie replies with a smile.
“When I want to be.” Lucy turns and winks at me before I take off in search of Nova.
When I reach the door to the room Lucy directed me to, it’s closed, but after standing here for a few moments, soft murmurs of a conversation float through the wood. She must be in there with Harper. I have a strong feeling neither will leave the other’s side during their stay, but I’d like to speak with Nova alone. Thoughts of leaving without a word race through my mind. Would she care if I did? She did a damn good job of icing me out over the last couple days. Not that I didn’t deserve it after the way I acted in the hotel the night of the rescue. But I would regret leaving without saying something, without some sort of conversation.
Inhaling a deep breath, I knock on the door.
“Yeah?” she calls.
I open the door a crack and peek my head in. “Mind if we talk for a minute?”
Harper looks at me, then glances back at Nova, who keeps her eyes trained on me. I have no idea if she’s going to allow me in or tell me to fuck off. It doesn't look like she even knows the answer.
Finally, she turns to Harper and nods. Her best friend rises from the bed and offers me a small smile when I open the door a bit more, allowing her to slide past me and into the hallway.
“Can I come in?”
Nova waves her hand, and I step inside, closing the door behind me. The room feels small, with the air around us charged with that kind of electricity that’s unique to the two of us. It’s crazy to think I can be in a room with several trained killers and criminals, but as soon as I close the door of this one, my first inclination is to unbutton the collar of my shirt so I don’t feel this stifling weight that’s sitting on my chest. Is this…guilt? Because this feeling fucking sucks.
“I’m going back to Boston in a few minutes.”
“Figured you would,” she replies with no emotion.
“If you need anything, you can call me.”
“Kind of hard to do without a phone.”
“Right. I’ll talk to Ozzy about getting you and Harper set up with new phones before I leave.”
“Thanks.” The way she practically chokes out the word makes me feel like shit.
“I was an asshole,” I blurt out.
Nova’s head rears back as though she’s just as shocked as I am at my admission.
“Trust me, I’m as surprised as you. I don’t often find myself in the position of feeling the need to apologize to anyone.”
“I haven’t exactly heard an apology yet.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out slowly through my nose. Why is this so damn hard?
“I’m sorry for behaving the way I did at the hotel a couple nights ago. I was pissed about everything and let that singular emotion overrule any consideration for you. I’m not trying to make an excuse for it. What I did was wrong and you didn’t deserve it.”
“Holy shit…you’re really bad at apologizing. That was an incredibly clinical way to say you fucked me because you were mad at me and then treated me like the dirt on the bottom of your shoe afterward.”
If she had any idea that her reminding me about the way I fucked her made my dick twitch in my pants, she’d really hate me.
I close my eyes and shake my head a bit, trying to clear my muddled thoughts. “Nova, I’m not good at apologizing. I’ve never had to. You were in a bad spot when we were talking in my hotel room, and instead of being the man you needed me to be and have a fucking heart, I practically attacked you and—”
“Whoa, there. You were a long way from attacking me, Cillian. I was a very willing participant and loved every second. At least until the end.”
I hang my head for a few moments then look Nova in the eye, imploring her to see how sorry I am since I’m apparently shit at saying it. I don’t bring up what I was about to say and her complete lack of response. It wouldn’t do either of us any good.
“The last thing I want is for you to think I’m the asshole I was acting like in that room. It’s not me. Actually, scratch that. It is me. But it’s not who I was with you. It’s never who I want to be with you. Honestly, I haven’t been myself since we met, and here’s even more honesty for you…I like not being myself around you. I loved every second of the time we spent together in New Orleans…until that last part.” The corner of my lips tip up and she returns my smile with a small one of her own.
“Yeah, me too.”
The phone in my pocket vibrates, and I pull it out, seeing Finn’s message.
Finn: We’re leaving.
Me: I’ll be right there.
“I have to go. We’ll be back tomorrow. Try to stay in one place.” I say it as a joke, but the thought of Nova bailing again has crossed my mind a time or six since pulling up to the clubhouse.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Promise.”
The urge to kiss her goodbye nearly overwhelms me. It seems like it could be so natural to walk over and press my lips to hers. To feel her melt into me like all the times before. How can I be mad one minute, full of regret the next, and want to feel her soft lips all in the span of what seems to be barely more than a heartbeat?
Instead of acting on the urge, I twist the knob and walk out of the room before shutting the door behind me.
When I make my way into the main room, Finn and Eoghan are apparently already at the car because they’re nowhere to be found. I walk outside and see Finn talking to Ozzy next to his car that’s parked beside the one I drove here.
They clasp hands as I walk up to Ozzy, and the man turns to shake mine as well.
“Can you get Nova and Harper set up with new phones? I’ll pay for whatever it costs.”
Ozzy shoots me a knowing grin. “You got it.” He doesn’t comment further on my need to make sure Nova is taken care of while I’m gone before walking back to the clubhouse.
“You ready to finish this?” Finn asks as he opens his car door.
“Yup.”
“You know, once these assholes are taken care of, she’s going to be free to take off into parts unknown. You ready for that, too?”
“I don’t have much of a choice. Nova and Harper need this over as much as we do.”
“Have you thought about what it’s going to be like for her to leave again?”
I shrug. “Guess it’ll be back to business as usual.” The slight melancholy tone of my voice doesn’t escape my attention. Or Finn’s, by the way he’s looking at me.
“Just as long as you don’t punch me in the face again,” Eoghan chimes in from the passenger seat.
“Fuck off, asshole,” I tell him.
Finn releases a huff. “Yup. Business as usual.”